The nerve! Translation: I want you to make breakfast for her and take her out for the 'girly' things I refuse to do when I have her every other weekend
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The fact they haven’t included that section is
No one worth knowing would hide the fact they had a child, even with the “but it might scare some matches off” excuse 
and? It’s a dealbreaker (for some women) they need to accept. I think the majority of women don’t mind so it’s very shady indeed. I think those sites should enforce guidelines on pics with kids in them.
The first guy said he had a daughter and understood if that put me off.
The second guy last night just casually said he has his daughter every Saturday when I said weekends are good for me to meet. He told me he would need to arrange childcare… then asked if Sunday’s were ok
the cheek.
The second guy last night just casually said he has his daughter every Saturday when I said weekends are good for me to meet. He told me he would need to arrange childcare… then asked if Sunday’s were ok
the cheek.
I don't understand why you'd hide having a child on a dating app tbh. Like firstly, yeah I get you don't want to immediately put people off - but when they find out, they're probably going to be put off anyway if they're so inclined, AND I'd be more put out that it was hidden from me? Would definitely make me wonder what else they're hiding.
And if anything, it's men who are more likely to be put off by single mothers. Women are socialised to believe men should get medals for changing their own children's nappies. "He's such a wonderful father!!" 
I agree. If I had a kid I'd WANT to put off anyone not interested in having a Step-kid in their life because I'd only want the best for my kid not a wicked step-father who at best would be indifferent towards the kid. Shows what type of person they are that they're happy to try and trick women, withhold information and not do their best for their child.The fact they haven’t included that section is
If youre hiding your kids on dating apps youre looking for a hook up which is fine imo if thats what youre looking for.
If you are looking for something serious then youd mention them as your future will obviously include your kid. My 2 cents worth.
If you are looking for something serious then youd mention them as your future will obviously include your kid. My 2 cents worth.
That is such a bizarre comment for someone to make.
Firstly his daughter could be a brat.
Secondly, why does it matter if you’re caring in terms of his child? If the kids mother is active in her life then you wouldn’t need to have much of a “caring” role realistically? Just like an auntie vibe? My friends step mother has no kids never wanted any but her and my friend are close. Although the relationship is very much “friendly” than parent child. I hate to make assumptions but sounded like he just wanted someone to palm his kid off to. A mummy 2.0 if you will.
That’s quite the red flag there. He has his kid every Saturday but will arrange childcare on the day he has her to meet up with someone on a dating app? PrioritiesThe first guy said he had a daughter and understood if that put me off.
The second guy last night just casually said he has his daughter every Saturday when I said weekends are good for me to meet. He told me he would need to arrange childcare… then asked if Sunday’s were ok
I don't have any desire to be a step mum either so if I was on the dating scene, it would be a deal breaker for me. I could possibly date someone with adult kids, but then I suppose there's the danger of grandkids
He can say he doesn’t believe in marriage all he likes but if you have children with him, it would be wise for you to be married to him so in the event of divorce, you aren’t financially screwed. This is probably why he “doesn’t believe in marriage” because if you divorce, he will need to split assets and pensions etc with you. The impact on a woman’s career when having a child is significant - we put our earning potential, pension potential, career advancements and future financial security at risk having children while men don’t. Taking a break from work to look after his children impacts only you financially - not him. This is why men don’t “believe in marriage”. They want the free labour (childrearing, housework etc) women provide but don’t want to compensate them for it when they divorce. If you get married and then get divorced, your sacrifices with regards to your career and earning potential made to raise your children, will be taken into consideration. If you’re not married, he wanders off into the sunset with all his money and you are stuck, having lost out on years of career/earning potential.I mean he doesn’t pressure me, and to be honest i think there’s a chance we wouldn’t get married even if we had kids, he says he doesn’t believe in it full stop, so i might have not worded it right, it’s not as black and white as ‘no kids? No marriage’ but he’s seen his cousins have two kids then get married, and they only got married to all have the same surname as the kids, and they’re the example he uses when we talk about it. His parents are married, but his other cousins all have kids but aren’t married so I think he looks to them as an example.
I make him sound awful through what I write here, he’s not a bad person reallyI just think he’s naive, he’s early 30s but I’m the first serious girlfriend/one hes lived with.
he hasn’t outright said ‘I’m bored, let’s have kids’, I might have worded it wrong, but i just think he’s just in the school of thought along with ‘who’ll look after you when you’re old?’ Just quite old fashioned ideas
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I'd rather be a mother than a step mother, aside from the pregnancy/birth, it seems like you get all the bad bits of motherhood, no good bits and some extra tit bits thrown in. And then, like you say, the grandkids come along and it just continues!I don't have any desire to be a step mum either so if I was on the dating scene, it would be a deal breaker for me. I could possibly date someone with adult kids, but then I suppose there's the danger of grandkids
Completely agree, I know I'm being 'judgy' but marriage is so important in lots of cases and especially in the case of 'ordinary stay at home mothers' (by ordinary I mean not a millionaire or something). Lots of men say it isn't important or just a piece of paper but legally it can be very important to a relationship and should be looked into seriously not just 'I don't believe in it'.
Honestly, I wouldn't mind being a step-mom but not in my prime years. In my 70s, why not? But not when I have so many places to visit and things to do. Being in a relationship with a man who has children now would mean a huge decrease in terms of quality of life for me. And I haven't worked so hard to lose it.
Yeah, I also agree with getting married. It has such a huge impact on your life : taxes, pension, legal reasons. For the lady whose boyfriend doesn't want to get married but wants kids : don't fall for it. You will be fucked if he decides to walk away.
Yeah, I also agree with getting married. It has such a huge impact on your life : taxes, pension, legal reasons. For the lady whose boyfriend doesn't want to get married but wants kids : don't fall for it. You will be fucked if he decides to walk away.
I honestly feel like my life would get boring WITH kids.
My partner and I are getting married next year and we are saving pretty strictly at the moment, but even on the weekends when we do mundane things like bake & watch tv, we still enjoy ourselves and each other’s company. We work Monday-Friday 9-5, no matter what we do or don’t at the weekend, we aren’t bored!
I can’t think of anything worse than finishing work and having to take care of kids. I can’t be bothered taking care of myself!
My partner and I are getting married next year and we are saving pretty strictly at the moment, but even on the weekends when we do mundane things like bake & watch tv, we still enjoy ourselves and each other’s company. We work Monday-Friday 9-5, no matter what we do or don’t at the weekend, we aren’t bored!
I can’t think of anything worse than finishing work and having to take care of kids. I can’t be bothered taking care of myself!
I heard somewhere once a woman describing life as a mother as having 3 shifts a day. The morning shift of getting up, breakfast, school run etc, then her actual job, then home for the 3rd shift of tea, activities, homework, bedtime
Now that sounds mundane and boring! I get home from work, chill on the sofa, cook tea and go to bed and watch tv!
I couldn’t go out with a man with kids because I need to be the centre of attention, pure and simple
I’m second best to nobody lol especially snotty kids
This is me
I love being able to come home from work and be like "do I work out? Do I lie on the bed for an hour? Shall we go for tea tonight?" the thought of having to life my live around someone elses schedule horrifies me
I'm glad my husband is of the same opinion, plus he'd have to reduce down to like one beer a night with his tea and stop having a sneaky smoke
Same! When I first got with my partner he just thought kids was a natural next step in a relationship, as though he didn’t think he had a choice, but he was relieved when I said I didn’t want them and we’re both so happy without them!This is me
I love being able to come home from work and be like "do I work out? Do I lie on the bed for an hour? Shall we go for tea tonight?" the thought of having to life my live around someone elses schedule horrifies me
I'm glad my husband is of the same opinion, plus he'd have to reduce down to like one beer a night with his tea and stop having a sneaky smoke
My partner always looks at families when we are out, kids screaming, parents looking frazzled and he is so happy we don’t have that, he loves being carefree.
Where do you find these men who don’t want kids 
all the men on bumble who have “don’t want children” look a sandwich short of a picnic. 
all the men on bumble who have “don’t want children” look a sandwich short of a picnic. I think a lot of men (and women too) think they want kids until they’re shown another way or until they’re shown the reality of kids!Where do you find these men who don’t want kids
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