Absolutely - 100%! My mother was miserable all throughout my childhood and it really impacted on my mental health.I've just been reading a thread on another forum started by a woman who clearly gets no joy from being a parent. Many other posters agreed how hard it is, some going as far to suggest they don't really like their kids,and how they don't feel happiness, joy etc. Another poster said she is a strong believer that life should be about making your kids happy, not yourself. I think that's really sad, surely you need happy parents to make happy children?
Next time you could say ‘well the right person for me is someone who also doesn’t want kids..’I spent the weekend with my auntie and urgh, she loves to belittle the idea of being CFBC. It’s sooo annoying!!! Ever since I was a child I have spoken about not wanting children and now I’m in my 30s that hasn’t changed. Yet she said on more than one occasion over the weekend that it would ‘change once I meet the right guy’ ….. infuriating
I feel like women get the "waiting for the right person" thing for the same reason we get asked what our partners would think abour sterilisation - misogyny. And the idea that womens ultimate goal in life should be a baby maker.Next time you could say ‘well the right person for me is someone who also doesn’t want kids..’
This has always baffled me because I really can't imagine a man making me change my mind if that makes sense? Like, my fiance is brilliant with kids and would 100% make a fantastic Dad - but I still don't want kids with him? Or anyone. It just doesn't make sense to me. I can't imagine what would make me want children at all to be honest, but I really don't think it would be 'the right man.' My Mum used to say this to me when I was younger but she absolutely adores my fiance so has shut up with that line now and instead has just started saying 'you can't just live to work' (when I've pointed out how having kids would impact my career and I don't want that). As if living to run about after a child is the norm, or desirable at all, when I don't like spending much time around children but I do enjoy my job? Make it make sense!I spent the weekend with my auntie and urgh, she loves to belittle the idea of being CFBC. It’s sooo annoying!!! Ever since I was a child I have spoken about not wanting children and now I’m in my 30s that hasn’t changed. Yet she said on more than one occasion over the weekend that it would ‘change once I meet the right guy’ ….. infuriating
I actually always thought this and was so against having kids but met a guy and he just hit me like a train and all I could think about was how I wanted to have his babies. First time I'd ever considered kids and we'd never even had that conversation.This has always baffled me because I really can't imagine a man making me change my mind if that makes sense? Like, my fiance is brilliant with kids and would 100% make a fantastic Dad - but I still don't want kids with him? Or anyone. It just doesn't make sense to me. I can't imagine what would make me want children at all to be honest, but I really don't think it would be 'the right man.' My Mum used to say this to me when I was younger but she absolutely adores my fiance so has shut up with that line now and instead has just started saying 'you can't just live to work' (when I've pointed out how having kids would impact my career and I don't want that). As if living to run about after a child is the norm, or desirable at all, when I don't like spending much time around children but I do enjoy my job? Make it make sense!
I get where you are coming from here. A big part of why I dont have any is I know we would totally be on our own as we have no-one who could ever help us out now and again, and we have missed out on a lot. Having a kid is the biggest responsibility there is, and you have to be all in, you know, and there would be no one to help out, ever, if that makes sense, so its just too much. I would probably feel differently if I had lived enough but there you go.The sad truth is, I rather wait and see what sort of inheritance I get and whether it will be enough to cover sitters and the childcare that most people can rely on their family for.
That’s part of the reason why me and my husband don’t want kids, both our families live a long way away. I mean I wouldn’t in a million years expect them to have looked after any we might have had full time (no shade to anyone that does but both sets of parents of ours are elderly/have health issues), but I can imagine not even having any one who could pop in for a couple of hours to give you a break would be hard.I get where you are coming from here. A big part of why I dont have any is I know we would totally be on our own as we have no-one who could ever help us out now and again, and we have missed out on a lot. Having a kid is the biggest responsibility there is, and you have to be all in, you know, and there would be no one to help out, ever, if that makes sense, so its just too much. I would probably feel differently if I had lived enough but there you go.
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