I think I threw up in my mouth. It's not her son's duty to heal the scars of her messed up past relationships?? They give birth to a whole ass person to serve as a bandaid for their shitty psyche and they have the audacity to call childfree women selfish for not wanting a child.Just be glad it was only a card, I saw a photo on Facebook yesterday of a mum snogging her little (4-6 maybe) boy. Disturbing. Someone shared it saying something about how when a woman needs unconditional love god will send her a son… that’s not a responsibility a child should have.
My first full time job was in a special needs nursery home for severely disabled children needing 24 hour care. Most of them had no language, were unable to eat, walk and so on…Does anyone else’s decision not to have children stem from fear of having a child with disabilities or additional needs?
Not that alone but it's another reason for me not to, as there are autism and autoimmune conditions in my extended family. I know that viewpoint will outrage the 'I wouldn't have my [whatever condition] child any other way' parents but whatever.Does anyone else’s decision not to have children stem from fear of having a child with disabilities or additional needs?
I've spoken before about how I am at risk of Huntington's Disease and if I have got the gene there is 50% chance of passing it on. I have decided not to find out if I have it so therefore feel it unfair to put future children at risk. There is no cure and no long term treatment available despite ongoing research. There is talk that the condition will become more manageable in the next 10 years but it's not certain. I didn't particularly want children before I found out about this, but it kind of cemented it for me.I’ve got a very rare condition - klippel feil syndrome - it’s so rare there are no specialists in the UK and you have more chance of winning the national lottery than having it, I won’t risk passing it on (drs don’t know if it’s hereditary as they don’t do any research) as my life is increasingly limited due to the condition itself and the fuck ups by Drs who know nothing about my condition but we will try anyway! and make my health worse.
I saw things about Huntingtons and it is horrible. I really understand it that you dont want children. I also have somethign that has a 50% of passing on. I lost my mother if it(thats really rare with what I have). Bit its a big reason why I dont want children. And people are still shit about it. My sister has children, and one of them has severe health problems because pf this(still really rare but it happened) and still people are giving me shit about not having children. I DONT WANT THEM!!!!I've spoken before about how I am at risk of Huntington's Disease and if I have got the gene there is 50% chance of passing it on. I have decided not to find out if I have of it so therefore feel it unfair to put future children at risk. There is no cure and no long term treatment available despite ongoing research. There is talk that the condition will become more manageable in the next 10 years but it's not certain. I didn't particularly want children before I found out about this, but it kind of cemented it for me.
A lot of people's arguments for having kids is "who's gonna look after you when you're older" which I find quite hilarious given how many people are shoved into nursing homes. It's often the baby boomer generation who put forward this argument as well, while refusing to care for their elderly parents and saying that they'd never have them live with them
When they ask who will look after me when I’m old I say ‘that’s actually a good point, I didn’t think of that. Has yours and your husbands relationship stayed ok with all your parents even though they live with you and you care for them because I’d be worried my relationship with my children could deteriorate in that situation but if that not the case maybe I could have some kids’ their parents are always in a care home or have at home carers, not once has anyone ever actually been a carer for their parents/in laws so I say ‘oh I won’t bother having kids then, I’ll just go into a care home/get carers’.I can’t tell you how much I hate the “well who is going to care for you when you’re old” “argument” (I use the term very loosely. Firstly, nobody should be having children to guarantee a carer in their old age. Much as I love my mother dearly, if she birthed me purely to have a carer when she’s older then she is going to be very disappointed. I also find this argument assumes the worst of me for being childless and the best of those who have children. I’ve worked my entire life and will be financially stable enough, due to the decisions I have made, to pay for my own care in old age, if I even need care. I come from a family that has always lived in their own homes until their deaths in their 80s and 90s. We are made of strong stuff! And those who think their children are going to be working to keep us aged childless folks in care or hospitals, what makes them so sure they will turn out that way? Why assume the best of them but the worst of me? I could just as easily say that I worked to provide the welfare that they will be living on.
I can't comment on your first question but I have my thoughts about the latter.This is a very personal question but if anyone on here is in this position and wouldn't mind to answer... Has anyone got past the age of being able to have kids, and never had them due to being undecided? Like has time just passed by for you, and now it's too late, and if so how do you feel? Have you felt regret?
It's one thing that sticks in my head, getting past the age of being able to have kids and not having them only to have such regrets later in life. I also worry that a partner may decide to remarry/move on to someone who can give them kids if they were to change their mind once you were no longer able to
This is a very personal question but if anyone on here is in this position and wouldn't mind to answer... Has anyone got past the age of being able to have kids, and never had them due to being undecided? Like has time just passed by for you, and now it's too late, and if so how do you feel? Have you felt regret?
It's one thing that sticks in my head, getting past the age of being able to have kids and not having them only to have such regrets later in life. I also worry that a partner may decide to remarry/move on to someone who can give them kids if they were to change their mind once you were no longer able to
Just quoting myself - I realised this didn't really sound as I intended. I definitely don't think you should have a baby to keep a partner, tbh nothing can guarantee anyone staying with you anyway. I'm just going through a lot of thoughts in my own mind and it did occur to me you may both agree, but men do have the option at pretty much any age whereas women don't. Probably still not making senseI also worry that a partner may decide to remarry/move on to someone who can give them kids if they were to change their mind once you were no longer able to
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