Has anyone had problems with men wanting children when you don't?
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No, but they are talking about this on the Kate Lawler thread.
Sort of - I've told my boyfriend I don't want kids and he said he might in the future/when we're more financially stable.
I've told him my stance, I love him and I want to remain with him but I don't want kids and I'll never change my mind. If he wants to break up/decides he really wants kids that's fine by me but I'm not pulling that trigger if that makes sense?
He has said in the past he hopes I change my mind but I know I won't and I've told him as such! We love each other and the conversation rarely comes up but when it does, he knows my stance. The ball is in his court
My ex husband tried his best to push me into having kids. He'd already pushed me into marriage at 21. What can I say? I was young and naive and trying to escape a bad home life.
However I stood firm on not having kids and have never once regretted it.
My now partner has two adult children. They're lovely and I get on very well with them.
However I stood firm on not having kids and have never once regretted it.
My now partner has two adult children. They're lovely and I get on very well with them.
I've not had this problem, my partner is even more anti-kids than I am! He was open from the start about not wanting them, way back when I still hadn't twigged that having kids was an option, not compulsory
To be fair, we couldn't have our lifestyle if we had kids. We've just booked 2 holidays, one, a caravan in Filey in 3 weeks and a week in Lake Garda in July. Just decided yesterday we needed a break and booked last night. We are getting stressed because we have National Trust tickets to use before mid June and haven't got a free weekend in between trips to see my family, theatre tickets and concerts
Also, he is in a position to retire at 50 which is only 6 years away (providing his job isn't made redundant sooner). Having kids would make this impossible (he'd probably work more to get away from them)
To be fair, we couldn't have our lifestyle if we had kids. We've just booked 2 holidays, one, a caravan in Filey in 3 weeks and a week in Lake Garda in July. Just decided yesterday we needed a break and booked last night. We are getting stressed because we have National Trust tickets to use before mid June and haven't got a free weekend in between trips to see my family, theatre tickets and concerts
Also, he is in a position to retire at 50 which is only 6 years away (providing his job isn't made redundant sooner). Having kids would make this impossible (he'd probably work more to get away from them
)Oh and my now partner had the snip after his two were born so there definitely won't be any surprises.
Not something I'd fancy at 44!
Not something I'd fancy at 44!
I have with an ex. He really was the love of my life but when he turned 40 he suddenly announced he wanted children and he knew it had always been a deal breaker for me. We were never going to agree and it was just causing so many issues that I left 3 months later. I still miss him very much despite being married to someone else now.
That’s terribly sad
but good for you for sticking to your gunsOh my heart. You stayed true to yourself.
That must have been so hard, but you stayed 100% to your desires.
I have recently ended an unexpected pregnancy due to me not wanting children. My partner always said he didn’t want them either but when I got pregnant he said he changed his mind. We thought about it/discussed it together for a couple of weeks but ultimately the decision was up to me and I chose to terminate. Things don’t feel quite the same since, it is very early days still but I do wonder if he will end up leaving as he’s decided he does in fact want children.
Men don't have to go through carrying a baby/childbirth, it's easy for them
And even the most hands on dad's don't seem to do as much as mum's (based on people I know, I know it won't be true for everyone). All of my friends who have kids, they always want their mum when they're upset/going to bed etc so even when the dad is willing to take over the child often won't settle unless their mum is there.
Punch a hole their ball and yeet it back, you can blame thorns in the bushes
We have a dog. The kids next door are always losing balls etc over the fence. If we spot them before she does we throw them back, if she gets them before us then it’s not our fault.Punch a hole their ball and yeet it back, you can blame thorns in the bushes
I get sick of hearing people go on about their lack of freedom and comparing it to people such as myself or younger siblings who don’t have kids, because YOU chose to have kids? Not even 1 kid, but 2 or 3. You literally chose and agreed to have them but then you want to say oh I’d love to be able to do XYZ like you but I have 2 kids, I’d love this or that but I have 2 kids. It’s so jarring like maybe you should have thought if you wanted 2 kids in your 20s that are now preventing you from living the life of other people in their 20s
Went to the zoo today. It was empty as the weather was rubbish and it isn't school holidays. And it was sooooo nice not being surrounded by kids!!
It was me, my sister and my mum and we were able to get right up to the enclosures, look at all the signs etc. We also sat on some of the photo ops etc. which made my mum laugh as it reminded her of when we were small.
It was just so lovely being able to enjoy ourselves and not fight for space with kids.
It was me, my sister and my mum and we were able to get right up to the enclosures, look at all the signs etc. We also sat on some of the photo ops etc. which made my mum laugh as it reminded her of when we were small.
It was just so lovely being able to enjoy ourselves and not fight for space with kids.
I spoke with my sister yesterday who's son is expecting a child (aged 16 but that's besides the point!). She laughed and said to me (in my 30s) "He's having a child before you have yours!! My son is beating you! 
"
HOWWWW many times can I say to her I Don't Want Children before she believes me?? She's one of those people who thinks I'll "grow out of it" or change my mind when I "find the right person". It's insulting, frankly. My choices are valid and I couldn't think of anything worse than having a child taking up all my time, money, energy, mental strength. Also he's not "beating me" because life isn't a race with milestones you must complete. This kid and his gf are both 16 with no education and no future. I'm fine hun!
Then she says "you're always on holiday!!" YES! Because I don't have kids to pay for and I'm HAPPY!!!!! Arggggghhhhhhhh
"HOWWWW many times can I say to her I Don't Want Children before she believes me?? She's one of those people who thinks I'll "grow out of it" or change my mind when I "find the right person". It's insulting, frankly. My choices are valid and I couldn't think of anything worse than having a child taking up all my time, money, energy, mental strength. Also he's not "beating me" because life isn't a race with milestones you must complete. This kid and his gf are both 16 with no education and no future. I'm fine hun!
Then she says "you're always on holiday!!" YES! Because I don't have kids to pay for and I'm HAPPY!!!!! Arggggghhhhhhhh
What a weird attitude. It comes across as though she isn’t happy with his decision/situation and telling herself/you that he’s ’beating’ you is to make herself feel better.I spoke with my sister yesterday who's son is expecting a child (aged 16 but that's besides the point!). She laughed and said to me (in my 30s) "He's having a child before you have yours!! My son is beating you!
HOWWWW many times can I say to her I Don't Want Children before she believes me?? She's one of those people who thinks I'll "grow out of it" or change my mind when I "find the right person". It's insulting, frankly. My choices are valid and I couldn't think of anything worse than having a child taking up all my time, money, energy, mental strength. Also he's not "beating me" because life isn't a race with milestones you must complete. This kid and his gf are both 16 with no education and no future. I'm fine hun!
Then she says "you're always on holiday!!" YES! Because I don't have kids to pay for and I'm HAPPY!!!!! Arggggghhhhhhhh
She's wanted me to have a kid ever since she got pregnant tbh - I think like so many Mums they want others to join them so they're not alone in their misery. It's all jealousy!
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