Childfree by Choice #12 I care about my life, not my death.

[orangehead]

She's wanted me to have a kid ever since she got pregnant tbh - I think like so many Mums they want others to join them so they're not alone in their misery. It's all jealousy!

It’s weird isn’t it, if I started giving people long lectures every time I see them about how they should take up knitting and they’re missing out and it’s such a joy and telling them all about wool and knitting needles and showing them knitting patterns to try and convince them to become a knitter people would avoid me or stage an intervention but when people do it about children it’s fine

 

[soph30]

I’m sureeeee non parents would get away with this

 

[peachesandcreamz]

I’m sureeeee non parents would get away with this

Ah yes, us non-parents never feel any sort of stress, emotions, physical exhaustion! Do they really think we are just NPCs that have no "off" switch from work??

 

[MagpieTree]

I'm currently considering asking for condensed hours in work - I'd work longer on 4 days so I could have an afternoon off each week. There are others across the business who do it or have reduced hours but they all have kids, and I'm struggling to think of a reason to tell them why I want to do it other than a bit of free time for myself. I know it wouldn't affect my work quality, and my job isn't so urgent that me not being there for a few hours would be a big deal. I'm just nervous they'd say no as I don't feel like I have a proper reason.

 

[StrawberryBanana90]

@MagpieTree Honestly, just lay out all the facts that you did here here! If it doesn't affect when/how work is done, I'd say it'd be hard for them to argue.

It's sad that we think we have to have a "reason" for stuff like this as the parents can just ask and probably don't even worry about it!
Free time for yourself is just as legit of a reason in my eyes. Fingers crossed it goes okay and they allow it

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I'm currently considering asking for condensed hours in work - I'd work longer on 4 days so I could have an afternoon off each week. There are others across the business who do it or have reduced hours but they all have kids, and I'm struggling to think of a reason to tell them why I want to do it other than a bit of free time for myself. I know it wouldn't affect my work quality, and my job isn't so urgent that me not being there for a few hours would be a big deal. I'm just nervous they'd say no as I don't feel like I have a proper reason.

It is a legal right to ask your employer for a flexible working request. They don't have to permit it but you have nothing to lose by asking.

Make Flexible Working Your Business

Did you know that flexible working laws are changing? Here’s how businesses should prepare. Flexible Working - Help to Grow

helptogrow.campaign.gov.uk

 

[ack13]

I'm currently considering asking for condensed hours in work - I'd work longer on 4 days so I could have an afternoon off each week. There are others across the business who do it or have reduced hours but they all have kids, and I'm struggling to think of a reason to tell them why I want to do it other than a bit of free time for myself. I know it wouldn't affect my work quality, and my job isn't so urgent that me not being there for a few hours would be a big deal. I'm just nervous they'd say no as I don't feel like I have a proper reason.

I reduced and condensed my hours (NHS) and to my surprise didn’t need to give a reason why I was requesting it. Hopefully you may be the same.

 

[orangehead]

There’s a sub forum on Mumsnet for childfree/childless posters and someone has said they never wanted children and someone has replied they didn’t either but then they had step children and it’s been a joy to be a parent. Now even the childfree are at it, is there no escape

 

[ChastityDingle]

I'm currently considering asking for condensed hours in work - I'd work longer on 4 days so I could have an afternoon off each week. There are others across the business who do it or have reduced hours but they all have kids, and I'm struggling to think of a reason to tell them why I want to do it other than a bit of free time for myself. I know it wouldn't affect my work quality, and my job isn't so urgent that me not being there for a few hours would be a big deal. I'm just nervous they'd say no as I don't feel like I have a proper reason.

Have a look at any guidelines that are available in your workplace. It's not like you are asking to reduce your hours. Go for it.

As a side note when a company I worked for years ago introduced job sharing, there was some surprise expressed (by colleagues) at a single childfree woman requesting it. She got it though. And why not!

 

[EyeLoveIcelands]

I'm currently considering asking for condensed hours in work - I'd work longer on 4 days so I could have an afternoon off each week. There are others across the business who do it or have reduced hours but they all have kids, and I'm struggling to think of a reason to tell them why I want to do it other than a bit of free time for myself. I know it wouldn't affect my work quality, and my job isn't so urgent that me not being there for a few hours would be a big deal. I'm just nervous they'd say no as I don't feel like I have a proper reason.

In your request, cite that you note others in the business are doing this successfully for their own personal/non-work related reasons and you would ensure that your productivity is seamless. That way you’ve sort of said don’t discriminate against me.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I spoke with my sister yesterday who's son is expecting a child (aged 16 but that's besides the point!). She laughed and said to me (in my 30s) "He's having a child before you have yours!! My son is beating you! "

HOWWWW many times can I say to her I Don't Want Children before she believes me?? She's one of those people who thinks I'll "grow out of it" or change my mind when I "find the right person". It's insulting, frankly. My choices are valid and I couldn't think of anything worse than having a child taking up all my time, money, energy, mental strength. Also he's not "beating me" because life isn't a race with milestones you must complete. This kid and his gf are both 16 with no education and no future. I'm fine hun!

Then she says "you're always on holiday!!" YES! Because I don't have kids to pay for and I'm HAPPY!!!!! Arggggghhhhhhhh

I cannot see how having a kid at 16 is in any way winning at life.

 

[bananabutter]

I cannot see how having a kid at 16 is in any way winning at life.

I’d consider it an epic fail but I’m a snob about these things

 

[peachesandcreamz]

I’d consider it an epic fail but I’m a snob about these things

Even more wildly, my sister will be a 35 year old grandmother, sooooo

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Even more wildly, my sister will be a 35 year old grandmother, sooooo

That’s my age

 

[peachesandcreamz]

That’s my age

It's not far off mine!!

 

[JodieGreen123]

Does anyone listen to The Archers? There is an annoying child free by choice story line on there at the moment.

 

[Popcornshovel]

As the Taylor Swift Eras tour approaches, so many parents are desperate to get tickets to make their kids happy. It makes me wonder if kids these days ever have to deal with even a smidge of disappointment, the way their parents bend over backwards.

A colleague got scammed for tickets (which is horrible, scammers are scum). But it's happened to him before... He bought a dodgy PS5 for his precious little darling in Xmas 2020 when they were in short supply.

My Facebook feeds are full of parents begging for tickets and offering silly money. All the posts mention 'it'd make my little girl so happy'.

It must be tit being a parent and feeling pressured to keep up with this.

But also, I wonder if the parents just need to learn how to say no to their kids and teach them they can't get everything they want in life?

 

[mousey]

This is a bit weird, but yesterday the official Lego instagram account posted a meme that was of a Lego character looking tired/fed up and the text on it said something like “when your friend with no children says they’re exhausted” - implying, as per usual, that parents are THE most tired people ever.

I was honestly quite shocked, it felt really tonally off for a brand like Lego who appeals to all ages and all types of people.

Anyway, it had just been posted and had 0 comments, so I thought I’d go back and look at it later to see if anyone else was shocked and the post has been deleted!! Must’ve got some backlash

 

[bananabutter]

This is a bit weird, but yesterday the official Lego instagram account posted a meme that was of a Lego character looking tired/fed up and the text on it said something like “when your friend with no children says they’re exhausted” - implying, as per usual, that parents are THE most tired people ever.

I was honestly quite shocked, it felt really tonally off for a brand like Lego who appeals to all ages and all types of people.

Anyway, it had just been posted and had 0 comments, so I thought I’d go back and look at it later to see if anyone else was shocked and the post has been deleted!! Must’ve got some backlash

I’ve had this sort of attitude (so have many I imagine!) at work once. I hadn’t slept all night, just one of those ones where I was going through a rough time and having trouble switching my brain off, so was understandably looking a little worse for wear.

Of course someone had to pipe up and say “you’ve got no idea, at least you can catch up tonight as you don’t have children” not really the point is it, we all have our own battles

 

[whoareyouu]

Been for a pub tea tonight. A little darling behind screamed the entire time. Did their parents try to calm them down or take them outside? Hell no.