Childfree by Choice #12 I care about my life, not my death.

[whoareyouu]

Ex teacher here. There was a noticeable shift during the pandemic regarding respect for teachers and education in general. They whip their kids out whenever they feel like it, forgetting that I plan lessons. Your kid misses a week on fractions, I’m going to have to plan for that and differentiate because they don’t have that knowledge that I have spent an entire week imparting to their class group. This typically takes up the time of my poor teaching assistant who has to reteach fractions and support that one student when they should be supporting the entire class group.

Behaviour went down the pan during the pandemic as both the government and parents viewed us as being merely childcare for their little darlings. There’s no respect at all for teachers. It’s weird as growing up I was taught that teachers were to be respected and that what they said, I did. I wouldn’t have dreamed of backchatting to a teacher! Now you get abused by kids on the daily, attacked physically and have to deal with the parents on top of that.

I recently met up with peers that I trained with. Out of 30 of us who originally trained as teachers, only 11 of us were still teaching. It’s a sad sorry state of affairs.

Thank you for posting your perspective. It’s certainly eye opening.

Someone I know has whipped their kids out of school for a ‘last minute sunshine break.’ They went back to school what, two weeks ago? And they have another week off in three weeks anyway?

 

[fishyfishfish]

I'm a person with emotions who is going through something horrendous, not just a future incubator?

I am so sorry you went through this and can really relate to some your story. I have some complex health issues and have started saying to every new consultant, and the start of every appointment that I am Childfree and won’t be answering any questions about conception, fertility etc. as they’re not relevant to me. works 9/10 times.

“I'm a person with emotions, not just a future incubator” for next thread title please!!!

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

I commented on a post on Facebook about a woman with six kids living in a two-bedroom council flat (including three to a room and one sleeping in a cupboard!). Had some weirdo woman saying that basically I was saying she should never have been born because her family were poor! She actually said - and I quote - 'Imagine all those amazing people who would never have been born had having kids been solely based on income' and then called me unhinged because of all those poor unborn babies - wtf?! Maybe years ago when there was no contraception available but there's literally no excuse now.

As a higher rate tax payer who is never having kids - yes I resent paying for the ones you can't afford!

 

[whoareyouu]

I commented on a post on Facebook about a woman with six kids living in a two-bedroom council flat (including three to a room and one sleeping in a cupboard!). Had some weirdo woman saying that basically I was saying she should never have been born because her family were poor! She actually said - and I quote - 'Imagine all those amazing people who would never have been born had having kids been solely based on income' and then called me unhinged because of all those poor unborn babies - wtf?! Maybe years ago when there was no contraception available but there's literally no excuse now.

As a higher rate tax payer who is never having kids - yes I resent paying for the ones you can't afford!

It is a joke. Why would you want to bring kids into the world if it’s going to be such a struggle? No one is saying don’t have them, just cut your cloth accordingly.

 

[pinkmug]

Had some weirdo woman saying that basically I was saying she should never have been born because her family were poor! She actually said - and I quote - 'Imagine all those amazing people who would never have been born had having kids been solely based on income' and then called me unhinged because of all those poor unborn babies - wtf?!

I am agitated today and I will make it the problem of crappy parents

But seriously, wtf? I'd encourage her to think of all the bright brilliant children who were ground into a shadow of what they could have became if they weren't a part of a 5+ sibling set and the very limited money wasn't split between more children than they could afford. There are smart gifted kids everywhere and their energy is saved for surviving under the conditions they were born into, instead of becoming scientists, good leaders, artists. You can't choose your family bur your family can choose the amount of children they will bring to this world. Setting aside crazy stories like quadruplets etc. every couple more or less know and are able to plan what they can spare for each child. It's basically saying I have zero education or control over my urges and it's everyone elses problem to look after my consequences. I truly feel sorry for the children of these families because more often than not, the parents can't give a tit about the emotional sustenance of the kids either, never mind the financial needs.

 

[ChastityDingle]

Ex teacher here. There was a noticeable shift during the pandemic regarding respect for teachers and education in general. They whip their kids out whenever they feel like it, forgetting that I plan lessons. Your kid misses a week on fractions, I’m going to have to plan for that and differentiate because they don’t have that knowledge that I have spent an entire week imparting to their class group. This typically takes up the time of my poor teaching assistant who has to reteach fractions and support that one student when they should be supporting the entire class group.

Behaviour went down the pan during the pandemic as both the government and parents viewed us as being merely childcare for their little darlings. There’s no respect at all for teachers. It’s weird as growing up I was taught that teachers were to be respected and that what they said, I did. I wouldn’t have dreamed of backchatting to a teacher! Now you get abused by kids on the daily, attacked physically and have to deal with the parents on top of that.

I recently met up with peers that I trained with. Out of 30 of us who originally trained as teachers, only 11 of us were still teaching. It’s a sad sorry state of affairs.

I also remember reading on another forum, a teacher said that she was contacted by a parent who expected her to give online lessons to her little darling. The schools had reopened after lockdown, but he wasn't going to be attending.

The teacher knew for a fact that the family were living as normal and out and about and so on, but no, she was to provide pretty much private tuition to little Johnny... I don't think she did it, or at least I hope not.

 

[orangehead]

I also remember reading on another forum, a teacher said that she was contacted by a parent who expected her to give online lessons to her little darling. The schools had reopened after lockdown, but he wasn't going to be attending.

The teacher knew for a fact that the family were living as normal and out and about and so on, but no, she was to provide pretty much private tuition to little Johnny... I don't think she did it, or at least I hope not.

There was a post going around on Facebook years ago which a woman had shared. She liked to swim and was very good at it and when she went swimming on a weekend day she would end up surrounded by kids and teaching them stuff, she wasn’t a swimming teacher but she ended up teaching them any way.

She was messages on Facebook by a parent saying basically she had heard this woman taught kids really well but she couldn’t bring her kids to the pool that day and would this woman teach her kid on another day at a specific time. Swimmer lady was like no I work and I’m not a teacher and the mother of the child was going crazy saying how rude the swimming lady was and she was going to tell everyone not to let her teach their kids and stuff like that. Obviously so frustrating for the swimmer lady but hilarious to read!

 

[newtoyou]

Her Daily Mail compo face in the next video after getting rinsed in the comments

As someone responded to her, she's exactly the type who doesn't book seats on a flight, then demands everyone else move to accommodate her.

And the apology video where she’s just hoovering with “I’m only human after all” playing

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

I am agitated today and I will make it the problem of crappy parents

But seriously, wtf? I'd encourage her to think of all the bright brilliant children who were ground into a shadow of what they could have became if they weren't a part of a 5+ sibling set and the very limited money wasn't split between more children than they could afford. There are smart gifted kids everywhere and their energy is saved for surviving under the conditions they were born into, instead of becoming scientists, good leaders, artists. You can't choose your family bur your family can choose the amount of children they will bring to this world. Setting aside crazy stories like quadruplets etc. every couple more or less know and are able to plan what they can spare for each child. It's basically saying I have zero education or control over my urges and it's everyone elses problem to look after my consequences. I truly feel sorry for the children of these families because more often than not, the parents can't give a tit about the emotional sustenance of the kids either, never mind the financial needs.

I need to step away from the internet today.... same woman has just told me that endometriosis doesn't stop me having kids as her niece had it and blah blah blah... erm yes but it HAS stopped me? (Not that I mind as I don't want them anyway) - apparently I'm just going to end up a lonely old SPINSTER

 

[Hot_Rock]

I am so sorry you went through this and can really relate to some your story. I have some complex health issues and have started saying to every new consultant, and the start of every appointment that I am Childfree and won’t be answering any questions about conception, fertility etc. as they’re not relevant to me. works 9/10 times.

“I'm a person with emotions, not just a future incubator” for next thread title please!!!

I'm so sorry to hear of what you've been going through and hope you've been doing ok x that's a good plan you have going into every appointment, great advice! x

 

[whoareyouu]

I need to step away from the internet today.... same woman has just told me that endometriosis doesn't stop me having kids as her niece had it and blah blah blah... erm yes but it HAS stopped me? (Not that I mind as I don't want them anyway) - apparently I'm just going to end up a lonely old SPINSTER

I would have been so tempted to respond ‘better a spinster than a nosy old bat.’

 

[FlipFlop0706]

I commented on a post on Facebook about a woman with six kids living in a two-bedroom council flat (including three to a room and one sleeping in a cupboard!). Had some weirdo woman saying that basically I was saying she should never have been born because her family were poor! She actually said - and I quote - 'Imagine all those amazing people who would never have been born had having kids been solely based on income' and then called me unhinged because of all those poor unborn babies - wtf?! Maybe years ago when there was no contraception available but there's literally no excuse now.

As a higher rate tax payer who is never having kids - yes I resent paying for the ones you can't afford!

It gets on my tits when I’m on a local Facebook group and there’s post about “how long did you have to wait on the council list before you got a house? I’m pregnant and need a 2 bed and have been on the list for a year”. Erm close your legs love?! You can’t house one child so why would you choose to have another? Oh wait, it’s to get more points so it bumps you up the council list…

Same with people who go on these groups and openly beg for stuff. “I’m pregnant and I don’t have any baby stuff as I can’t afford it”. Maybe don’t get pregnant then? You can’t afford it before it’s even born then how the hell do you expect to pay for milk, nappies, etc? Someone actually said that to the poster and she got the whole “oh so poor people can’t have children then?!” No! Not if the taxpayer is having to support both you and the child!

Having children is a privilege not a right. Sone people just think they can pop them out without a care in the world as to how they are going to support them.

 

[newaroundhere123]

It gets on my tits when I’m on a local Facebook group and there’s post about “how long did you have to wait on the council list before you got a house? I’m pregnant and need a 2 bed and have been on the list for a year”. Erm close your legs love?! You can’t house one child so why would you choose to have another? Oh wait, it’s to get more points so it bumps you up the council list…

Same with people who go on these groups and openly beg for stuff. “I’m pregnant and I don’t have any baby stuff as I can’t afford it”. Maybe don’t get pregnant then? You can’t afford it before it’s even born then how the hell do you expect to pay for milk, nappies, etc? Someone actually said that to the poster and she got the whole “oh so poor people can’t have children then?!” No! Not if the taxpayer is having to support both you and the child!

Having children is a privilege not a right. Sone people just think they can pop them out without a care in the world as to how they are going to support them.

YEP! this annoys me so much, there's a reason contraception is free - f'ing use it

 

[GiftedNotFree]

A comedian I follow posted asking people not to bring their kids to his live shows. I thought this was really interesting in the comments!

 

[newaroundhere123]

A comedian I follow posted asking people not to bring their kids to his live shows. I thought this was really interesting in the comments!

View attachment 2910539

a friend and I were recently at a cocktail night at a restaurant, it was around 9.30pm and he was telling me about a first date he'd had recently and how the guy had tried it on with him etc... not graphic but saucy I guess, the woman at the next table who we hadn't even noticed until that point leant over and was like 'your conversation is inappropriate, we have children here' I looked over and they had two little kids there, like under 5-ish. I'm like, LADY, having your KIDS here is what's inappropriate not our conversation, she just huffed and carried on necking her multiple cocktails. MUCH parenting

 

[GiftedNotFree]

a friend and I were recently at a cocktail night at a restaurant, it was around 9.30pm and he was telling me about a first date he'd had recently and how the guy had tried it on with him etc... not graphic but saucy I guess, the woman at the next table who we hadn't even noticed until that point leant over and was like 'your conversation is inappropriate, we have children here' I looked over and they had two little kids there, like under 5-ish. I'm like, LADY, having your KIDS here is what's inappropriate not our conversation, she just huffed and carried on necking her multiple cocktails. MUCH parenting

How INFURIATING! It’s the entitlement of parents that annoys me most - they really think they can just demand that others must do or behave in specific ways because of ThE kIDS!

Also still reading the comments on the post. Omg this one 🫣🫠

 

[starsandsky]

Afternoon all,

New poster here I have really enjoyed reading all the posts. I'm 31 and also childfree. Great to know I'm not the only one as literally everyone arounds me seems to be pregnant!

I have enjoyed reading all of your reasons. A lot of mine stems from my own troubled childhood. One parent was an alcoholic and the other was depressed, leading to unemployment and a generally horrific childhood experience for me. I'm not looking for sympathy in any way as I'm sure some of you have had the same experiences. Both of my parents were emotionally immature also. One in particular (probably due to the home circumstances) was incredibly highly strung and flew off the handle on a daily basis for no reason. They were ok in other ways and probably looked fine from the outside but I never felt loved or cared for. We also didn't have a lot of money which didn't help. Again I'm not looking for sympathy (!!!!) but on reflection it has taught me how some people are just not meant for parenting. And that is ok!!! But don't have children if you're not prepared to actually parent them properly!!!!

As a result of it all I'm introverted with an avoidant attachment personality. I probably seem quite bubbly etc but I have a very low social battery and simply don't think I would ever have the energy for the DRUDGERY of most of the day to day parent stuff. I don't hate children but I quite simply couldn't be bothered with it all. It's been liberating to know now that in my adult life I can just focus on ME! Knowing that I don't have to fritter my well-earned money away on things like childcare and spend it on me/ my partner/ our house is actually unbelievable having grown up with no money.

Have a good day!

 

[Blond3g1rl]

a friend and I were recently at a cocktail night at a restaurant, it was around 9.30pm and he was telling me about a first date he'd had recently and how the guy had tried it on with him etc... not graphic but saucy I guess, the woman at the next table who we hadn't even noticed until that point leant over and was like 'your conversation is inappropriate, we have children here' I looked over and they had two little kids there, like under 5-ish. I'm like, LADY, having your KIDS here is what's inappropriate not our conversation, she just huffed and carried on necking her multiple cocktails. MUCH parenting

Those kids probably didn’t even have a clue what they were saying anyway. And if they did then that’s her parenting issue!

 

[HoGi]

I think the acceptance of children in places stems from the increase in cancel culture and suing etc.

People are so terrified of being sued or bad mouthed on Facebook that they allow kids in even though it isn't appropriate. So long as they aren't breaking any laws around licensing etc. It is anything for an easy life.

 

[pinkmug]

I am very confused about how the cocktail bar even allowed the children in. Pubs and restaurants are generally all ages so common sense is needed but where I live, you need to be of age to even enter the place. The mother couldn't fix herself a martini at home after putting the kids to bed? If she wants to go out AND drag very young children to adult places (which is a tit idea to begin with, why would I want my toddler in a place where tipsy/drunk adults roam free) then she needs to suck it up and stfu. It's like walking into a sex shop with a stroller and asking the sales people to hide the sex toys because her kid is too young for all that. ??