Sorry but I find it hard to believe anyone actually loves labour
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I read recently about Robert Smith of The Cure saying he didn't choose to be born so wouldn't do that to anyone else.
Also ramblings of a member of the general public saying that our ancestors fought sabre toothed tigers so it's a duty to carry on the bloodline
Also ramblings of a member of the general public saying that our ancestors fought sabre toothed tigers so it's a duty to carry on the bloodline
I follow a child free page on insta, the lass put a post of a comment she had rcvd who had the lovely username ra4eforfun or similar, saying she was so unattractive nobody would want to have kids with her.
Ffs.
Ffs.
This is the problem I’ve seen from child free pages. Most people who follow have chosen the lifestyle for a number of reasons and that’s absolutely fine, but you always get these rabid idiots who have kids and viciously attack anyone who doesn’t or the incels who turn it into an insult (which considering they can’t even get a woman to say hello to them is quite ironic).
Considering people are much more accepting of sexuality and lifestyle these day I don’t know why a woman saying actually I don’t want kids is so upsetting. No one is being hurt and if you want to have 10 kids then fill your boots, so long as they are fed, clothed and cared for that’s all that counts.
Considering people are much more accepting of sexuality and lifestyle these day I don’t know why a woman saying actually I don’t want kids is so upsetting. No one is being hurt and if you want to have 10 kids then fill your boots, so long as they are fed, clothed and cared for that’s all that counts.
Totally agree with these comments - there was an article the other day about a woman who had been sterilised at a fairly young age due to her being 100% sure she didn't want kids. There were so many responses (often from women!) saying that it's a good job someone so stupid can no longer procreate, that she was messing with our biological destiny, etc. etc. etc.
I've got a job interview today (NHS) and one of the interesting things that stuck out for me on their CQC report was the fact that amongst their staff support networks/groups they have Childfree by Choice. I'll certainly be joining once if I get the job.
Another thing to add which I'm aware may make me sound horrendously cruel but I'll say it... one of the reasons I don't want children is because I have ASD and some mental health issues, I was undiagnosed for a lot of years but regardless it has caused me many issues over the course of my life - and I couldn't cope with a child being the same. A guy at work was talking the other day about how his autism had basically ruined his life but he has gone on to have 3 severely autistic children - all diagnosed very young so it's not like they didn't know. Wouldn't you just stop after the first? Or second? Or not risk it in the first place... I'm baffled.
I've got a job interview today (NHS) and one of the interesting things that stuck out for me on their CQC report was the fact that amongst their staff support networks/groups they have Childfree by Choice. I'll certainly be joining once if I get the job.
Another thing to add which I'm aware may make me sound horrendously cruel but I'll say it... one of the reasons I don't want children is because I have ASD and some mental health issues, I was undiagnosed for a lot of years but regardless it has caused me many issues over the course of my life - and I couldn't cope with a child being the same. A guy at work was talking the other day about how his autism had basically ruined his life but he has gone on to have 3 severely autistic children - all diagnosed very young so it's not like they didn't know. Wouldn't you just stop after the first? Or second? Or not risk it in the first place... I'm baffled.
I'm totally with you on that. These days, people can't be ignorant of the genetic link with autism. A few of us already said what you have about not wanting to pass on conditions to a child or just to have to raise a child with disabilities.
I know a family who’s one child attended a branch of one of my hobbies last year. Child is non verbal/ only verbal cues are screaming shouting etc, it was described by the parents CARER as asd, parents have never worked, in their late 40s (I guess) and have 8 kids from mid 20s to very young. No social skills to be seen anywhere except in the very eldest who was taken under the wing of another child’s parent whilst at high school and has battled to make a life for themselves. Mother claims to have xyz which is clearly just passed onto the kids
Good luck with the interview today my love.
Following on from your comment regarding the colleague with the autistic children…
someone I went to school with had 6 kids by 30, all to the same mother etc but they were told 3 kids ago to stop having them as every time they were born with more and more issues.
They didnt stop. It’s like they’re addicted to having kids.
Anyway, the other day a video was posted on Facebook ‘announcing’ one of their children’s diagnosis. It was weird. It was almost done in the style of a TikTok gender reveal. It’s not the happy flex they think it is. This child has a life affecting syndrome.
And somehow that's ok, but not having kids isn't? I'll never understand this logic.
I follow quite a few child free by choice ladies on Instagram and one promotes networking and social meets. She yet again asked parents to stop coming into this small space on the internet as there are so many spaces for them. So many ignored it and were spouting, ‘but we’re seen both sides, you’ve only seen one’.
It amazes me why so many would follow her and why they are still spouting this crap. Pre motherhood is not child free by choice.
Phew rant over, back to drinking coffee in bed with my husband and cats on a Friday morning
It amazes me why so many would follow her and why they are still spouting this crap. Pre motherhood is not child free by choice.
Phew rant over, back to drinking coffee in bed with my husband and cats on a Friday morning
I don't particularly like LinkedIn but have to use it for my job. This morning I saw an interesting post that I felt like interacting with, then I realised the person who posted it had a little tagline saying 'raising 2 under 2' with an emoji. So cringe and just irrelevant on a supposed professional networking site. In fairness after reading the post again (it was about the importance of taking a lunch break), he had linked it back to being a parent multiple times. Like do people lose their identity after having kids? They stop being their own person and just exist to bore us about their offspring
I love coming across a childfree reel on Instagram and going into the comments to see parents shitting their pants trying to defend having kids. I came across the classic one like "imagine having a stressful day and coming home to some screaming 'mummy' at you constantly" and there's always a parent commenting "enjoy your miserable life" like okay girl, I'll enjoy my peace
99% of the time childfree people aren't dogging on parents for their choices, we're just explaining our choice and reasons but for some reason they think it's a personal attack.
Why come into our space when you have so many spaces online to discuss children etc. The mind baffles.
99% of the time childfree people aren't dogging on parents for their choices, we're just explaining our choice and reasons but for some reason they think it's a personal attack.
Why come into our space when you have so many spaces online to discuss children etc. The mind baffles.
I agree so much with this statement. My friends, neighbours, people I went to school with, collegues it’s ALL they ever talk about. All everyone around here does is do the school run and go to the supermarket, back and forth. My friends never go anywhere or do anything, it’s all just kids, this kids that. The people they were don’t even exist anymore. It makes me feel so claustrophobic. An annual trip to Peppa Pig world is their ultimate life goal now
And I know it’s money limitations too but don’t they ever want to discover who they really are as an individual, have some great experiences and just LIVE?! I. JUST. DONT.GET.IT!as a side note whenever someone brings up their kids to my husband in his workplace now he just talks about me constantly in the same way
they’re really engaged until they ask how old I am and he says… oh you mean my wife?! And then they couldn’t care less
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I am convinced it's because they are jealous. So many people have kids because they think they have to, because they got married and it's the next step, because of outside pressures. I think they get triggered thinking of the life they could have had if they had made different decisions, and people like us are a reminder of that.
I am fortunate to be able to travel a lot, and at my last job a few (miserable) parents said "you won't be able to do that when you have kids". Like who said I want to give up my life and enjoyments just to have kids, to sit in an office with other parents saying that coming to a boring job is a nice break from home life and kids?
Oh definitely! They try and smile through their centre parcs and butlins holidays but we all know they'd love to travel like childfree people do
It's not even the travel. Like they literally never get to just sit at home and it's quiet. I could never give up my peace and quiet. I need that to survive!Oh definitely! They try and smile through their centre parcs and butlins holidays but we all know they'd love to travel like childfree people do
It’s bad enough with the dog being needy sometimes. Let alone a child.
Parents are the ulitmate selfish people, and within that category there is a special extra selfish sub-category of people who "blend" their families with a love child and I'm thoroughly confused by it... case in point:
My co-worker is 38, turning 39 in a month.
She is now 4 months pregnant with her 3rd child, she has 2 children from a previous marriage , 2 boys of 15 and 12 years old.
She got together with her now-husband (41 ) a few years ago, who also has 2 children which he co-partents 1 week off 1 week on.
They decided to have " a love child " because apparently they desperately wanted a child of their own?
I legit looked her dead in the eyes and asked "why? " and she honestly couldn't give a straight answer without stammering and just reverted back to " we really wanted one of our own.. " I think she was caught off guard by my question, like nobody had even considered asking her what the point of this pregnancy was.
I just rolled my eyes and said "that will be a nice crowded house then... ' and moved on.
She is very unpleasant and lazy, so I had NO qualms whatsoever being nasty to her.
How bloody selfish are you to do this?
Not only are you going to be an older parent, which will have a negative inpact on the "new "child ( and I'm speaking from experience with a mom that was 40 when she had me... ), you are burdening your current teenaged children with a screaming baby during a time when they are in a crucial developmental phase of life, and on top of that you're pretty much saying to your existing children "nevermind you are here, i want a SPECIFIC child with THIS man". What a way to tell your kids they're not good enough, and offer them absolute CHAOS for weeks every month, with 4 teenagers and 1 baby in the house.
Disgusting people.
My co-worker is 38, turning 39 in a month.
She is now 4 months pregnant with her 3rd child, she has 2 children from a previous marriage , 2 boys of 15 and 12 years old.
She got together with her now-husband (41 ) a few years ago, who also has 2 children which he co-partents 1 week off 1 week on.
They decided to have " a love child " because apparently they desperately wanted a child of their own?
I legit looked her dead in the eyes and asked "why? " and she honestly couldn't give a straight answer without stammering and just reverted back to " we really wanted one of our own.. " I think she was caught off guard by my question, like nobody had even considered asking her what the point of this pregnancy was.
I just rolled my eyes and said "that will be a nice crowded house then... ' and moved on.
She is very unpleasant and lazy, so I had NO qualms whatsoever being nasty to her.
How bloody selfish are you to do this?
Not only are you going to be an older parent, which will have a negative inpact on the "new "child ( and I'm speaking from experience with a mom that was 40 when she had me... ), you are burdening your current teenaged children with a screaming baby during a time when they are in a crucial developmental phase of life, and on top of that you're pretty much saying to your existing children "nevermind you are here, i want a SPECIFIC child with THIS man". What a way to tell your kids they're not good enough, and offer them absolute CHAOS for weeks every month, with 4 teenagers and 1 baby in the house.
Disgusting people.
I was thinking about this last week. I'm an introvert, and I NEED my quiet alone time. My husband was away and I had about five days of solitude, with my cats, and it was absolute bliss. I can't imagine constantly having someone around.
Good luck!
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Anecdotally, all the people I know who absolutely love being a parent, enjoy their children and would have kids all over again if their life restarted tomorrow never, ever say anything negative about me being childfree, never say anything rude or bitter and are always happy for me and supportive and completely understand I’m childfree.
All the people I know who complain endlessly about their children, have admitted they regret them or have said they wouldn’t have children if they had their life all over again are negative, bitter, say things like I’m lucky/spoilt/I can’t do that I have children/y’all know the comments I’m talking about! Etc.