Can you imagine her in a normal working environment, say in an office?
“Hello everywunn.
i’m doing okay today. Are you feeling okay too?
Time for brew & a 5000 calorie snack.
*sigh* It’s so tough for us working people isn’t it?
I can’t type because I have my manky lilac chunky jumper sleeves over my hands & I need to show off my ‘lucky bag’ engagement ring. Did you know I’m married? To the fit bloke I used to work with. He makes me tremble & makes my knickers (thongs) giddy. I moved him in immediately after changing the beds sheets after I broke up with Stephen. I love him so so much that I even wipe his arse for him. Aren’t I lucky?
Time for a gin? Oh it’s only 10am. Never mind, I’ll have a liquid lunch. Anyone want a selfie with me? No? Well would you mind taking a photo of me with my hands wrapped around an autumnal brew mug while I stare out the window, curling my lips & singing softly singing to myself?
Ooh. Lunchtime. Gin anyone? Actually I might go shopping for some size 13 clothes *heaves massive arse out of office chair*
Hi everyone. I’m back from lunch. I’m doing okay actually Are you okay?
*shuffles stapler, pen, notepad around desk & pretends it’s “work”*
Oh I’m just soooo exhausted. But that’s okay! I need to be kind to myself you know?
What Boss? You’re not happy with my work? Stop trolling me! You can’t tell me what to do! That’s it! I’m blocking you!
Well everywunn *sigh* I’m leaving now, I need to rush home & take my fit bloke to the toilet, cook his haute cuisine dinner while my kids eat cheap shite” & then sashay around him sexily in my thing cos I love sex me. See you all tomorrow. I’m so so proud of you all today, I really really am. And you know what? I’m proud of me too!’
All interspersed with 1000 “like”s & 5000 “erm”s.