Carrie Hope Fletcher #45 He's behind you! (For evermore)

[mushkala]

Judging by that live, I'd say they are already in dead bedroom land (or rather - Joel definitely being down to duck and Carrie definitely NOT)

I feel like she has to be really drunk/able to pretend he's someone else to be into it

 

[dull-board1243]

This benefit of having two names thing just smacks of her already trying to disassociate from what is his. She wants to be married, but doesn't want to admit it will be to him. She may as well go the whole hog and have a boyfriend on her Fletcher side.

She literally just admits she wants a husband, and doesn’t care who it is.

 

[Author123]

I just want to throw in with the discussion on whether it’s feminist to ask for the bride’s father’s/parents’ ‘permission’—lots of women still like to be walked down the aisle by their father, and that’s definitely because it’s a nice tradition rather than to symbolise literally being the property of one man given to another. I don’t think it’s harmful and outdated because it’s not a literal thing in the way it once was, but each to their own.

Agreed. My father walked me down the aisle purely for tradition, but we removed all the words from the (church) service which were to do with ‘giving away the bride’. My husband also spoke to him in advance of the proposal and whilst I do t know how he phrased it, I know for a fact that as my husband isn’t British he didn’t care what my dad said as he was still going to ask me anyway, but knew that it would mean a lot to my dad (which it did).

I’m of the opinion that these UK traditions have moved past symbolising women as property and instead symbolise family love.

I also don’t think the name thing is as big a flex as Carrie thinks it is. Nearly everyone I know keeps their maiden name for work (which in my circle is boring office based- far from the performing arts!)

 

[Mollydear]

Just thinking about his whines and his pouts and sweat dripping down his hairy chest is making my food come up my throat. Sorry for sharing that visual everyone

Too far

 

[tyler01]

I can see a scratch on the bottom left corner and a piece missing on the right side above the band. I’d be annoyed if that was my engagement ring after only a few weeks, it looks like it won’t last long

Just like their relationship

 

[Gizget]

I just wanted to share this answer again so it doesn’t get lost changing threads. Why is Carrie acting like having a professional and personal surname is like having two entirely different personas?? ‘Very lucky to have the option to have the best of both worlds’—it’s literally just a name, love. Why is she acting like it’s some massive unique privilege??What on earth are you on about here??

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In Carrie’s defence I do get this. I use my maiden name at work as I have spent time building up a reputation under that name, but I use my married name in my personal life. I think it’s quite a common thing for people to do? Although it is for pragmatic reasons rather than the romantic notions Carrie has.

 

[tentotwo]

Most likely. Emeralds are a soft stone and not recommended for every day wear. Typically it’s why they aren’t suggested for engagement rings (and yes, diamonds being the go to is just clever marketing but there is truth in it because of their hardness)

This is actually really interesting to me! I didn’t know about emeralds being a softer stone until your post about it a few threads back, and actually have one in my own (heirloom) engagement ring (albeit a much smaller stone than the future Mrs Shrek has in hers!!). I take it off when I’m doing housework, doing DIY etc but other than that I wear it all the time and the stone is still intact after 6yrs! Even with it being a softer stone I’d be absolutely mortified if I’d had my ring for a matter of weeks and had already bashed it around to the point where it looks like Carrie’s does in that photo

 

[beckilou11]

In Carrie’s defence I do get this. I use my maiden name at work as I have spent time building up a reputation under that name, but I use my married name in my personal life. I think it’s quite a common thing for people to do? Although it is for pragmatic reasons rather than the romantic notions Carrie has.

Yeah I know a couple of people who have done this. One is a doctor so it’s a lot of admin to change it at work. Plus she earned the title, not her husband, so she wanted to be Dr HerOwnName. She then uses the married name for non-official things like social media, booking restaurants etc. I would in no way describe it as “lucky”, it’s literally just a choice you’ve made…

 

[Maidensandcrones]

It is decidedly not a feminist choice for your partner to ask your parents' permission/ blessing to marry you and that's fine, not everything a woman does has to be a feminist statement. Sometimes you can just do stuff because you want to.

I personally HATE the tradition and my parents would laugh at any partner out of the building. I also wouldn't marry someone who went to my parents but that's largely because it shows they don't know me at all. If you like the "tradition" good for you, make it clear it's important to you before you get engaged.

 

[No_Its_Ever]

That’s the thing, she’s acting like she’s the first person in the world to ever have ‘two names’—a professional and a legal one—when it’s quite a common thing, isn’t it??

Also this answer made me laugh because it goes to show Joel doesn’t value gifts at all and yet they both made a whole circus out of the ‘twelve days of Joel’

 

[mayhem]

That’s the thing, she’s acting like she’s the first person in the world to ever have ‘two names’—a professional and a legal one—when it’s quite a common thing, isn’t it??

Also this answer made me laugh because it goes to show Joel doesn’t value gifts at all and yet they both made a whole circus out of the ‘twelve days of Joel’
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Ok Carrie but the thing is that if you've spent enough time with your partner you're able to known their love language without needing to take a BuzzFeed quiz

 

[mushkala]

That’s the thing, she’s acting like she’s the first person in the world to ever have ‘two names’—a professional and a legal one—when it’s quite a common thing, isn’t it??

Also this answer made me laugh because it goes to show Joel doesn’t value gifts at all and yet they both made a whole circus out of the ‘twelve days of Joel’

I think it's clear he wasn't that into the gifts, when he didn't even use them

 

[snowfairy17]

My dad is no longer with us, but I hope my boyfriend asks my mum when he wants to propose, for no other reason than my mum will know when I’m ready, we’re very close and she knows me better than anyone. Even if she wasn’t sure, she’d be able to get it out of me without ever guessing. The engagement would be a surprise but a welcome one.

All that to say… why did no one in carrie’s family say “maybe it’s too soon for an engagement, random man who started dating our daughter this year after the end of a long-term relationship”?

 

[TechnicallyNo]

Yeah and she also implied she was too young to have realised her other partners not necessarily wanting/being ready for kids might have provided issues later in their future but Carrie definitely WAS thinking about kids and knowing she wanted them with each person—she was literally writing letters to her and Alex Day’s future son, who is she trying to kid!? I think it just always stung her that Oliver clearly wasn’t as enthused about starting a family as she was, whereas Joel very much is.

Yeah seems the classic ‘I can change the man/mind’ syndrome.
maybe oli does want kids? Just not with her?

 

[No_Its_Ever]

And them both having ‘quality time’ as a major love language when Carrie just spends all her time on her phone…

 

[Phil I Buster]

Already though? She’s not even had it a month! Are they that soft or has she really just not cared for it? I have a friend who has an opal engagement ring that now she just wears for special occasions but until the pandemic and constant need for hand sanitizer she wore daily and it’s still in good condition.

Yes already. She wore it around a theme park (AND added another ring as it was too big which means it was likely spinning and could have been on the underside of her finger). We know from her home she isn’t exactly noted for taking care of things so absolutely it’s possible she could have damaged it already.

 

[thisiscat]

Wow, just watched the live (on a random upload to YouTube so I could speed it up) and my god, Carrie comes across as such a witch in that video! I can’t believe I ever liked her! The way she speaks over him and is condescending to Joel when he’s trying to explain how he proposed! And then the points when she glazes over and try’s to look anywhere except at Joel! This is a car crash waiting to happen!

 

[snowfairy17]

I’m watching the live and I’m at the bit where they start talking about the engagement and my word it’s uncomfortable

I can’t upload the screen recording I took but surely when your partner is talking about proposing to you you’d look happier than this?

 

[TheMickey]

Okay, so just in case anyone is in danger of falling for the whole "damage control"-schtick that the 'Monta-ews' are trying to do, and are starting to sympathize with Joel, let's just do a 'quick' recap of WHY we are scared of him/dislike him so, in a somewhat chronological order (sit back kids, this could take awhile):

- Outed their relationship just TWO days after their first date; where they'd already uttered 'I love you'
- Made their relationship status 'official' on Facebook within days
- Shared videos of them basically making out within the first week of them being together
- Had been with CHF for only a few weeks, when he said that his future plans in regards to where he would work in the world, was completely dependent on what 'Miss Hope Fletcher did'..
- MORE videos of them making out, including a montage made to the song Seven Days by David Craig, which featured a clip of them kissing in bed to the words 'we were making love by Wednesday'
- Reposting EVERY. SINGLE. STORY that Carrie does (with the words SO PROUD!!!!) on it
- Sharing stories from her family members - before even meeting them
- The constant creepy filming of her, when she's not aware of it. As Carrie herself mentioned she had no idea why he kept filming her when they were on holiday
- Announcing WHEN and WHERE she and her family were going on holiday, again, before even meeting the family
- Insists that they're going to have consistent adventures, when they went on their first holiday..
- Referring to Carrie as The One, his Soul Mate, the Love of his Life, before they'd even had their one month anniversary
- The SA messages. I cannot stress this enough.
- The angry Facebook rants, which includes racism
- The absolutely creepy Facebook updates about his 'first kiss' etc.
- Clearly having moved in within a month or two
- Love bombing a woman who was clearly still heartbroken from her previous relationship ending
- PROPOSING to said woman, only 5 months into the relationship, while she was clearly still not over her previous relationship ending
- Making the proposal semi-public, and arranging a party with all her friends and family afterwards
- Rushing a proposal, so that it's on a day where his new fiancée had to go straight to work, but also had to go on holiday straight after
- Guilt tripping said newly-minted fiancée about going on holiday with her family and her best friend, when the holiday was booked before she had even considered him a viable dating option
- Making a freaking pumpkin (which was her nickname with her ex) with the date of their first date, only 5 months prior, with the words 'Mr & Mrs Montague' on them, even before she said yes
- Being the one who clearly leaked their engagement, via his instagram stories
- Buying Disney-themed engagement t-shirts in the clear hope of getting a last minute invitation to aforementioned holiday
- Spending ALL 12 days that she was on holiday 'off sick' from work, but able to film a video EVERY DAY of him opening an inane gift from her
- Tearfully stating, when C had been gone less than 48 hours, "I don't do well without her"
- Constantly referring to C as 'wifey', 'my future wife'
- Setting up a JOINT couple instagram account, within hours of the engagement being announced
- Sharing over a hundred instagram stories of people congratulating them
- Reposting about being jealous of him not being on holiday with her
- Did I mention the 12 f*cking vids of him opening presents??
- Making FAMILY T-SHIRTS for her, her family, and Scott when they were in Disney; something that the family who has been to Disney more times than any other Brits alive have NEVER done before
- Calling Tom 'brother' when he made a post about the shirts (Tom's slightly sarcastic 'guess we're these people now' was amazing)
- Having a similar shirt made FOR HIMSELF with the F for Fletcher, even though he was not on the holiday, nor will he ever be a Fletcher
- Sharing the creepy photo a fan made of him photoshopped into the group photo
- Filming Carrie arriving at the airport after an 8 hour flight, when she clearly didn't want to be filmed
- Not responding to his defence of SA dm's
- Knowing about her preference for engagement rings when only knowing her for a month or two
- Begging for Disney freebies (or any freebies really) so that he/they can jump even further on the influencer train

.... honestly, that's just off the top of my head.

 

[geniefromdownunder]

Still catching up, but here to say can AwkwardJellyfish come back now please

I agree asking permission is silly and outdated but personally I took the “traditional” element of it but just asked my partner to give my dad a heads up. It was in no way that my dad was making that decision for me which is what you’re saying. I’d talked at length with my partner about us getting married and equally my parents knew I wanted to marry him.
But now I have this lovely and quite funny story of this moment of pure happiness between my dad and partner and I absolutely love it.

Everyone’s got different views on it tho so I can see why you feel that way!

I asked my partner to ask my parents - as I am the baby and a massive Daddy's girl - and it did mean a lot to me - and he did. They also had my Nanna's engagement ring that was left to me (unbeknownst to me) to give him for me.

When he asked, my Dad just said "Why do you wanna do that for?" hahaha