Carly Findlay

[Mindy]

Ahhhh... makes self comfortable, I've found my people.
Came hear from the Oxtail Lou thread and let's just say I'm glad to be here.

Welcome! Can you please tell us why you don’t like carly? I’m always curious to know.

OMG THIS!!! Carly is an asshole. She can dish it but she can’t take it. Standard PC left wing - and GOD FORBID you have a different opinion. She actually used to follow me. Then during the pandemic when I was sharing my opinion of Dan Andrews (because my non essential business was closed, but hair dressers open and my 8 staff couldn’t feed their families) - and I did in fact attend every protest - she has the audacity to not only delete me - but inbox me and gave me a spray how “selfish I am and it’s about keeping everyone safe”

No worries Red Face. I had to sell my house and had to pay $8k a week of rent for every week closed… but sure. I’ll follow the science -just for you and your bleeping skin flakes. duck off.

Wow - that was quite the journey. You’re right. She can always dish it out, but if there’s a difference of opinion, then you’re the enemy. I’m really sorry you went through so much tit with the lockdowns. That’s truly awful. That’s the thing this woman doesn’t understand. She’s so selfish and lives in her little bubble of vomit coloured clothes and crappy roller skating. I can see why you feel the way you do. Disagree with carly and be damned. AFter what I’ve heard about her trolling other disability advocates, setting up fake twitter accounts to do it and getting her friends to dox people which she admitted to in her testimony at the royal commission, it’s time to fight back. She is a fake and a pest.

 

[kay_gurl]

Welcome! Can you please tell us why you don’t like carly? I’m always curious to know.

Seems I share the view of others here.
She does do some great work I don't deny that. I also think she needs to acknowledge her privilege.
What about you Mindy? Or have you already posted? These threads move quickly! I'm trying to catch up but some just fly and I feel I miss heaps!

 

[popcornchkn]

Is she still with her husband?
duck she’s a bitter one!

 

[Mindy]

Is she still with her husband?
duck she’s a bitter one!

No idea about the husband. She doesn’t seem to post much about him.

 

[Female Businesswoman]

No idea about the husband. She doesn’t seem to post much about him.

I used his handyman services once and he was awkward, rude, a know all.
No thanks

 

[emmygluewho]

I used his handyman services once and he was awkward, rude, a know all.
No thanks

Oh, so exactly like her.

Imagine their conversations!? Fuckkkk that.

 

[Mindy]

Oh, so exactly like her.

Imagine their conversations!? Fuckkkk that.

I doubt he’d get a word in.

 

[BumbleBeeMarmalade]

Everything I find problematic about Carly is on show in this livestream of a talk she was part of:

Rethinking beauty: All About Women livestream | Live from All About Women at the Sydney Opera House with Carly Findlay OAM, FlexMami and Bri Lee for a panel discussion on how can we change our own... | By Sydney Opera HouseFacebook

Live from All About Women at the Sydney Opera House with Carly Findlay OAM, FlexMami and Bri Lee for a panel discussion on how can we change our own...

www.facebook.com

Around the 36 min mark, she says she think it's important that we show our 'real faces' and is very patronising about people who choose to wear make-up. She is also condescending about the use of filters on social media...then goes on to admit that she has darkened her skin in a pic as it didn't look red enough due to the lighting

She also admits to lying when telling a story on social media about a person staring at her on public transport. In reality it was a child, however she changed that aspect of the story as she didn't want people replying with 'kids are curious' sentiments. So maybe don't tell the story then?

Oh and what I wouldn't give to know Bri Lee and Flex Mama had to think about Carly's answer to the final question (54 min mark)!!

What other gems?

Carly talking about how she went to an event where she won 2nd prize of skincare products, kept them even though she can't use them, bitched about them - and then quickly says how she shared with some of her friends. How about you graciously don't accept the prize and someone else at the event could win them.

The going off on tangents not at all related to the theme - Carly talking about her dad, working for the gov, her husband, herself...

The awkward body language at the end of the video.

The comedy of Carly saying something so patronising that she thinks it's 'sad' that some people want to change their faces...followed by a quick wrap up and her calling out that they will be signing books.

 

[Mindy]

Everything I find problematic about Carly is on show in this livestream of a talk she was part of:

Rethinking beauty: All About Women livestream | Live from All About Women at the Sydney Opera House with Carly Findlay OAM, FlexMami and Bri Lee for a panel discussion on how can we change our own... | By Sydney Opera HouseFacebook

Live from All About Women at the Sydney Opera House with Carly Findlay OAM, FlexMami and Bri Lee for a panel discussion on how can we change our own...

www.facebook.com

Around the 36 min mark, she says she think it's important that we show our 'real faces' and is very patronising about people who choose to wear make-up. She is also condescending about the use of filters on social media...then goes on to admit that she has darkened her skin in a pic as it didn't look red enough due to the lighting

She also admits to lying when telling a story on social media about a person staring at her on public transport. In reality it was a child, however she changed that aspect of the story as she didn't want people replying with 'kids are curious' sentiments. So maybe don't tell the story then?

Oh and what I wouldn't give to know Bri Lee and Flex Mama had to think about Carly's answer to the final question (54 min mark)!!

What other gems?

Carly talking about how she went to an event where she won 2nd prize of skincare products, kept them even though she can't use them, bitched about them - and then quickly says how she shared with some of her friends. How about you graciously don't accept the prize and someone else at the event could win them.

The going off on tangents not at all related to the theme - Carly talking about her dad, working for the gov, her husband, herself...

The awkward body language at the end of the video.

The comedy of Carly saying something so patronising that she thinks it's 'sad' that some people want to change their faces...followed by a quick wrap up and her calling out that they will be signing books.

An excellent wrap up @BumbleBeeMarmalade. That was painful to watch. Carly screaming that they were signing books at the end? She sounds like a brute, and you can see Bri Lee is cringing hard throughout the whole thing. Bri is so eloquent, and then Carly jumps in and destroys the conversation. Re. people wanting to ‘change’ their faces, I say go for it if you want to feel better about yourself. She’s such a judgmental hypocrite.

 

[snarkyshark]

Everything I find problematic about Carly is on show in this livestream of a talk she was part of:

Rethinking beauty: All About Women livestream | Live from All About Women at the Sydney Opera House with Carly Findlay OAM, FlexMami and Bri Lee for a panel discussion on how can we change our own... | By Sydney Opera HouseFacebook

Live from All About Women at the Sydney Opera House with Carly Findlay OAM, FlexMami and Bri Lee for a panel discussion on how can we change our own...

www.facebook.com

Around the 36 min mark, she says she think it's important that we show our 'real faces' and is very patronising about people who choose to wear make-up. She is also condescending about the use of filters on social media...then goes on to admit that she has darkened her skin in a pic as it didn't look red enough due to the lighting

She also admits to lying when telling a story on social media about a person staring at her on public transport. In reality it was a child, however she changed that aspect of the story as she didn't want people replying with 'kids are curious' sentiments. So maybe don't tell the story then?

Oh and what I wouldn't give to know Bri Lee and Flex Mama had to think about Carly's answer to the final question (54 min mark)!!

What other gems?

Carly talking about how she went to an event where she won 2nd prize of skincare products, kept them even though she can't use them, bitched about them - and then quickly says how she shared with some of her friends. How about you graciously don't accept the prize and someone else at the event could win them.

The going off on tangents not at all related to the theme - Carly talking about her dad, working for the gov, her husband, herself...

The awkward body language at the end of the video.

The comedy of Carly saying something so patronising that she thinks it's 'sad' that some people want to change their faces...followed by a quick wrap up and her calling out that they will be signing books.

Agreed. Carly this is why people call you “insufferable”. Flex and Bri are so articulate and are able to critically analyse and view a situation of perspective from various angles and remain on the bleeping topic (!!!!). The contrast between that and Carly (who only seems to be able to talk about her experiences which mostly don’t relate + without undertaking any critical analysis) is so obvious. Her intellectual limitations are clear as day - she couldn’t seem to answer any of the questions properly without rehashing every bad thing (some of which I seriously doubt happened) that has happened to her - which she seems to repeat over and over. You could tell Flex was getting a bit frustrated.

She’s always a victim - the prize thing was a perfect example of that! You knew what the prizes would have been, why the duck did you enter then if (assuming 2/3 prizes were cosmetic!), you could have donated it to a shelter, hospital - you could have just given it to someone there! Why did you need to “witch about it?” - you are literally not a victim here, why the need to make it that way?

The school reunion thing - she’s been super open about how much she disliked school and the people there (and I accept she was bullied or at least ignored), but yet she joins the reunion chat (with no intention of going) and posts a pic of her at 17 and a pic of her now - with a “I’d love to see a a pic of you guys now, I don’t age HA HA” as a burn - but simultaneously complains that people weren’t replying to her, or ignoring her…babes..how are you surprised?

I actually cringed at the book signing part - Bri’s face 🫣

 

[BumbleBeeMarmalade]

Oooh it gets juicy. Carly left a negative review on Bri's book, making it all about Carly (of course):

Beauty

A powerful meditation on beauty and body image from the…

www.goodreads.com

This bit is especially telling...hmm I wonder who Carly means? Herself, obviously.

"Bri has been afforded many privileges in the media and in fashion (as have I to a lesser extent). This Masters thesis is also now a popular literary publication. I couldn’t help think though, as Bri was starving her body to be in a glossy magazine, and fearful of how she might be portrayed, myself and many others are constantly making noise for more appearance diverse people to be included in such magazines. I know so many people who would love similar media and fashion opportunities."

The timing is interesting. Their panel was from March 2020, this review was left in Dec 2020.

The writing scene is so small, everyone knows everyone, so for Carly to leave a 2 star review with such an essay about why she didn't like the book seems so petty. Of course she doesn't have to like the book but she's so eager to criticise others publicly, especially those she moves in similar circles too, yet so she is so sensitive to critique of her work.

Has anyone with a following ever publically called Carly out for her hypocrisy or are they too afraid of being cancelled?

 

[Mindy]

Has anyone with a following ever publically called Carly out for her hypocrisy or are they too afraid of being cancelled?
[/QUOTE]

Not that I’ve seen. I suspect people are too scared she’s going to call ‘ableism’ on them.

 

[emmygluewho]

Has anyone with a following ever publically called Carly out for her hypocrisy or are they too afraid of being cancelled?

Not that I’ve seen. I suspect people are too scared she’s going to call ‘ableism’ on them.
[/QUOTE]
And she just blocks anyone and everyone the fragile brat.

#toddlerchic #adultshit

 

[Pollie]

Nobody will ever call her out as she will turn anything they say into ableism.

 

[AntiPants]

Nobody will ever call her out as she will turn anything they say into ableism.

This. A million times this.

 

[Mindy]

This. A million times this.

Which is ludicrous because she calls everyone out on everything. The other thing I can’t stand is the whole victimhood thing which she really plays into. I somehow managed to delete a comment earlier which I didn’t mean to do, but it was about Bri’s book review. Where did she get the idea that she has ‘thin privilege’? And how dare she invalidate Bri’s eating disorder by saying that she is fat phobic, and of course descriptions of an eating disorder and self harm are going to be graphic, but then Carly white knights by listing helpline numbers. Carly has had more privileges than most in the media, so I don’t know why her review was so bitter. FWIW, I thought Bri’s memoir was really well written and courageous as heck.

 

[BumbleBeeMarmalade]

This is why I feel her advocacy comes across as narcissism most of the time. People wearing makeup? They should go bare faced to show support to those with facial differences. Same with those who have surgery. How dare they alter themselves as it means they think a non-surgically enhanced person is ugly. Someone struggling with an eating disorder who is terrified of gaining weight? That's offensive to people who aren't thin. It's like she can't comprehend people's wants and needs as not being based around her. She wants everyone to adhere to the standards she thinks are the 'correct' way to live and base their choices around her preferences.

I saw Dylan Alcott recently and was so tempted to know what he thinks of her, but I imagine she's not even on his radar. The bitterness she has towards people who have what she wants is so obvious.

I think she will only be called out by someone who is disabled, but then again Carly likes to school Dylan on what it's like having a disability, for she is the most disabled person to have disabled.

It's a shame as there's no doubt she's experienced bullying and discrimination, but she's so hard to like or even support given her own bullying behaviour and lack of critical thought.

Also, I know Tattle can be very toxic and I don't agree with making fun of her appearance given it is her personality (you know, the thing she can change) that's problematic, but we live in such an echo chamber where people can't call her out on her bullshit, which is why I need to vent here.

 

[Listerfiend]

“The book also demonstrated fat-phobia - of herself and of others. Two particular sections stood out to me in relation to her fat phobia.

The first was when she asked her boyfriend ”Would you still love me even if I was really fat?”. He said yes. “This couldn’t be good”, she wrote.

I was shocked. Does she believe “really fat” people aren’t deserving of love? Does she?

I can’t help wonder if this is similar to asking if she became disabled, would she still be loveable?”

No Carly she doesn’t believe “really fat people aren’t deserving of love” you’re reading into tit that she isn’t saying. What she IS saying is that it wouldn’t be good in HER situation.

And OF COURSE you ‘wonder’ about the disabled aspect because you have to make everything about YOU and YOUR situation.

Stop reaching and stop being a judgemental asshole to everyone about everything

 

[BumbleBeeMarmalade]

I've gone down the rabbit hole of the reviews Carly has written on Goodreads and came across this hilarious one: a 5 star review she gave to her own book It reads like an Oscars speech.


January 10, 2020
This is not a review of my book. It’s a review of how my book - that I wrote - has changed my life.

It’s almost a year since Say Hello came out.

A year of so many emotions, so much travel and meeting many, many wonderful people. I can’t keep track of the number of people who have posted the orange and pink cover on Instagram, or told me they’ve given it to their friend as a present, or who have asked me where they can buy my book for their school or workplace. I’ve signed hundreds, if not thousands of copies. People have been generous with their time (and money), coming to see me speak. Sometimes they give me presents. I marvel at the interest people have, and the kindness.

The book is selling well. I don’t know what well means to a publisher, but to me, it’s selling well because it’s changed lives.

It’s been distributed in workplaces - disability service providers, pharmacy organisations and even to the organisations who have funded my role in my workplace.

Strangers have stopped me in the street and in cafes to say they love my book. (I am yet to see anyone on the train reading it, but there’s still time!).

The media have been so kind in inviting me to talk about it on their radio and TV shows, and for their newspapers.

A mother of a little boy with ichthyosis sent me a photo of him watching me on The Project, talking about Say Hello, pointing to the screen. “That’s my friend Carly, she’s got the same skin as me”, he said. Other parents have told me it helps them understand their child’s condition more.

People who feature in the book are proud and thankful. They champion it. I am so glad they said yes to being involved.

Sometimes I read parts of it aloud at the end of speaking events. I find new things to love about it each time (and also bits that I wish I’d written differently).

I’ve been to so many writers festivals, libraries and book stores. The writing industry is lovely. My Mum has a new outlet as #FestivalMum.

Ensuring my book launches were as accessible as possible was really hard - I had to both impress book stores and also demand that my audience felt welcome - that they could get in the door, and use a toilet, and have access to Auslan. I want to do more work on this, because so much work needs to be done.

Disabled people relate to it. Some people have told me I’ve helped them accept their disability and appearance diversity. They tell me they’re more confident to tell their story, or share their photos. Those comments mean the most to me.

Non disabled people have recognised their privilege and ableism through reading it. These comments wow me, because I am actually getting somewhere.

People still ask me to work for free, but far less (because there’s a chapter in the book).

I’ve got to work with people I deeply admire - Ginger Gorman, Kevin Mitchell (Bob Evans), Annabel Crabb, Ruby Allegra, Tess Woods, Erin Somerville, Caroline Candusso and Elisha Matthews launched my book at events around the country. I’ve done panels with Maxine Beneba Clarke and Lindy West; chatted on my favourite podcasts and had incredible editors.

My agent, Danielle Binks, is the best support a woman could ever wish for. She’s a business support, and also an incredible friend. I’ve become close to my publisher, editor and publicist at HarperCollins too. They’re good people.

Taxi driver discrimination hasn’t stopped. But at least I can give them a card with my book cover on, and suggest they read it.

My husband hasn’t read all of my book yet. He’s up t9 to chapter 13. I should have included more Star Wars references.

Jealousy is rife. I’ve lost friends. I’ve told many people that they too can write a book if they don’t like my words. But I’m doing ok.

The ableism in some of the reviews is jarring but not surprising.

I will never stop my fangirling. I might be 38 years old but deep down I’m that 18 year old girl who squealed in the front row of the a Savage Garden concert.

I miss my best friend more than anything. She died in April. She features in the book - a photo and a passage that she wrote. She was the first person to order the book online - always supportive. I wish she was here.

Someone made a sculpture of Say Hello for Readings Bookstore’s 50th birthday. It was part of a bigger sculpture display of 50 Australian books. I was so delighted. He made me a sculpture to keep, and also two album covers - Bob Evans a s Savage Garden.

I don’t see Say Hello in airports much anymore, but I’m walking through airports because of Say Hello.

I miss writing. I’ve written very little since Say Hello was completed in November 2018. I cannot wait to write some real long, thoughtful pieces.

My next book, the Growing Up Disabled in Australia anthology, will be lit this June.

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to buy, borrow, read, review, recommend and tell me what Say Hello has meant to you. I am forever grateful.

Say Hello has changed my life because I now have a physical resource I can give people that might help them in some way. It’s changed my life because I’ve become more connected with the writing community. It’s changed my life because it’s allowed me to travel and meet wonderful people - many of whom are now my friends. It’s changed my life because I’m now the person little Carly needed.

Five stars to me, and five million stars to you.

 

[Mindy]

This is why I feel her advocacy comes across as narcissism most of the time. People wearing makeup? They should go bare faced to show support to those with facial differences. Same with those who have surgery. How dare they alter themselves as it means they think a non-surgically enhanced person is ugly. Someone struggling with an eating disorder who is terrified of gaining weight? That's offensive to people who aren't thin. It's like she can't comprehend people's wants and needs as not being based around her. She wants everyone to adhere to the standards she thinks are the 'correct' way to live and base their choices around her preferences.

I saw Dylan Alcott recently and was so tempted to know what he thinks of her, but I imagine she's not even on his radar. The bitterness she has towards people who have what she wants is so obvious.

I think she will only be called out by someone who is disabled, but then again Carly likes to school Dylan on what it's like having a disability, for she is the most disabled person to have disabled.

It's a shame as there's no doubt she's experienced bullying and discrimination, but she's so hard to like or even support given her own bullying behaviour and lack of critical thought.

Also, I know Tattle can be very toxic and I don't agree with making fun of her appearance given it is her personality (you know, the thing she can change) that's problematic, but we live in such an echo chamber where people can't call her out on her bullshit, which is why I need to vent here.

100%. But from what I’ve seen, most comments on here are about her holier than thou attitude and how she plays victim rather than her appearance (except for her ‘fashion’, which I think is totally ok to comment on).