Best I can do 
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inserts shakespeare quote about salt here:
“How much salt water thrown away in waste
To season love, that of it doth not taste.”
“How much salt water thrown away in waste
To season love, that of it doth not taste.”
The Burd of Harlow
I'd love to say I never thought this story would end up with her in hiding going by an assumed name. But I did expect that.
I’m actually shaking with laughter at this
Chat gpt wrote me a sonnet in the bard’s honour
Upon the humble plots where green dreams grow,
A wondrous change did bless the fertile ground,
The Great Saltening, a rare celestial show,
Transformed the soil, a vision to astound.
The vegetables and flowers, side by side,
With crystals white were kissed by Neptune’s hand,
Each leaf and petal sparkled far and wide,
As if the stars had fallen on the land.
The gardeners stood in awe of this strange sight,
Their careful tendings graced with salt's embrace,
And though it seemed the crops might face a blight,
They thrived in beauty, thriving in this place.
Thus Harlow's allotment gleamed with nature’s art,
A salty blessing touched each tender heart.
Upon the humble plots where green dreams grow,
A wondrous change did bless the fertile ground,
The Great Saltening, a rare celestial show,
Transformed the soil, a vision to astound.
The vegetables and flowers, side by side,
With crystals white were kissed by Neptune’s hand,
Each leaf and petal sparkled far and wide,
As if the stars had fallen on the land.
The gardeners stood in awe of this strange sight,
Their careful tendings graced with salt's embrace,
And though it seemed the crops might face a blight,
They thrived in beauty, thriving in this place.
Thus Harlow's allotment gleamed with nature’s art,
A salty blessing touched each tender heart.
Carly Burd, so I've heard
Had some salt in a bucket
Got some cash and acted flash
And then decided 'duck it'
Had some salt in a bucket
Got some cash and acted flash
And then decided 'duck it'
Shall I compare thee to a salted allotment?
Thou art more crystalline and more intemperate:
Rough winds do shake from Wayne's nethers,
And the allotment's lease hath all too short a date.
Thou art more crystalline and more intemperate:
Rough winds do shake from Wayne's nethers,
And the allotment's lease hath all too short a date.
Loving all the Carly Bards - you are a bright and brilliant bunch.
Thread title - Stand back Marlow for (Carly) Bard of Harlow, she filed late, & her lease was all to short a date
Thread title - Stand back Marlow for (Carly) Bard of Harlow, she filed late, & her lease was all to short a date
I want him to do guest next. That DM article was chef's kiss and I'm not a DM fan. Without the Wiki here and all those who contributed plus Your Harlow's diligence I don't think he would have had such a thorough article.
Also loved these your Harlow comments.
Dry your salty tears, more coverage.
www.cityam.com
Salt tears won’t wash: why those viral charity campaigns aren't all they seem - CityAM
Viral charity campaigns like that of Carly Burd and her salted allotment are ripe for exploitation and need to be regulated
"A pledge too spa" is a brilliant bit of copy
Excellent!
Just saw that article linked on the Jack Monroe thread and rushed over here. Excellent. 
Hopefully she'll appear in more and more articles and it won't be long before she's as (in)famous as Captain Tom's daughter
Whiskers will I'm sure be writing a threatening letter to the fraud expert.
This is haunting, gonna be seeing that when I fall asleep.
Glad to see our Carly's efforts at attracting media attention are paying off, wonder how many more papers will pick up this touching tale of utter fuckery.
slowly slowly catchee monkey
she can