Brummy Mummy #104 We are Anonymous, we infiltrate Zoom

[Missymoo92]

Babs tribute

"I won't survive" - parody of "I will survive"

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I couldn't live without my parting on its side
And I spent oh so many nights downing cocks all night long
I didn't grow strong
Didn't know how to carry on

So now I'm out
To a gifted place
I just walked in with my clown make up piled all over my yellow face
I should have changed that stupid frock, after all I did get in for free
If I'd have known for just one second the cowbags would bother me

Go on Aunt Flo, walk out the door
Just turn around now, cos I'm approaching menopause
I need to think of another attention seeking lie
Shall I binge crumble?
Or will I lay in my pit and die

Oh yes that's I
I won't survive
Oh as long as I have Babette's love, I know I'll stay alive
I need constant praise to live
I have no content to give

I won't survive
I WON'T survive

Hey hey

*Instrumental*

Need a decent bathroom floor where I can fall apart
Invited to a womens uni talk because I am so smart
And I spend oh so many nights doomscrolling tattle by myself
And I just cry, can't even hold my head up high
And you see me, on my group zoom
I'm just that sad yellow person in Doc Martin boots
And so the cowbags felt like dropping by and just expect me to be pleased
Well now I'm blaming it on hacking so no one will question me

Go on now go, I'm such a bore
Just turn around now, cos I've a date with a bathroom floor
When cowbags try to expose me of all my lies
You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd wallow in my pit and die

Oh yes that's I
I won't survive
Oh as soon as I'm asked something that's tough, you know I'll run and hide
I've got to flog my kids to live
I'm a sad old yellow div

I WON'T survive

 

[Clarissa_2019]

Who the duck wants fashion advice from her .
Tip 1
Wear a coat which fits.
Tip 2
Stop wearing Converse high tops with skirts and dresses.
Tip 3
For the love of God stop wearing those stupid heart shaped sun glasses.
Tip 4
Marc Jacobs tote bag needs to go.
Tips 5
Sort your eyebrows out.
Tip 6
Stop with the eye shadows.
Tip 7
Get dressed before morning stories.


Please add anything else ...

Tip 8
Buy clothes which actually fit your body rather than buy clothes in a size you aspire to be because …. Newflash - you’re NOT a size 18 in all brands

 

[Pumpkinspice returns]

It was definitely school related and you are right, it wasn’t the local girls school. I saw her on the way out as we were on the way in. Was she wearing that manky pleather jacket? Yes, yes she was. Oh and Babs, it wasn’t pouring with rain. There were a couple of light showers. Why must you exaggerate. Every. Little. Thing?

Edited as I realise I may have given too many clues and I actually will consider E’s privacy. Unlike some (looking at you Blabs)

Thanks, I had a feeling. A bit gutted I didn’t see the post before you edited but I’m glad you did really! We respect her privacy more than her mum!

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

My advice to this poor babette would be to wear layers

My advice would be.... What do you usually wear at this time of year, I assume this isn't your first end of winter on this planet? If you are an adult human surely you are capable of dressing yourself without resorting to asking bloody Babs of all people!

 

[Memmy]

Wasn't she saying "mum-min" as in "dadmin"?

You could ask her, she was looking for questions

 

[SugarSnapBam]

she states that she won't be buying any new outfits - because apparently, she can't buy new clothes all the time! - might take one for team cowbags and leave a list of alllll the hideous dresses that she paraded around wearing in her initial ReALiStiC try-on hauls but we haven't seen since - obvs because they don’t fit her!

in particular, i'd like to see her wearing her topshop dress of DREAMS, that ugly milkmaid-style frock, the frocky horror show dress and the reams of other dresses that she's wastefully bought on a weekly basis, yet never worn! i'm also keen to see how she styles her hunter wellies, her chunky primark boots AND those ugly, chunky topshop boots that she spent a fortune on - all of which were worn once, often for an aggressive dance reel, and then shoved up in top top!

seriously though, WHO wants "style advice" from the grellow KWEEN?! she genuinely has no clue which outfits she should be wearing converse or docs with, no idea when adding a belt to a dress is appropriate, no concept of where to buy a supportive bra, no bleeping clue whatsoever in which clothes are best for certain occasions or types of weather - just look at her iceland coat disaster! - and as for "how to wear midi skirts" + how does she think the babettes function in the world if they are unable to work out how to get dressed without babs' guidance! any style advice babs shares should be perceived as advice that you should never follow. like, ever. her desperation for content is so obvious. she's utterly USELESS.

as an indication of her poor style advice, she's literally asked a question about what is best to wear at this time of year, because the weather is so predictable, and - after revealing that she always chooses the wrong coat - her advice is literally "it's a conundrum!" super helpful!

View attachment 1117888

I believe she sends these questions to herself, via that "BrummyNannySan" account that her mum she has, and/or the "BibbidiBobbidiBrum" one. I don't believe for ONE second that ANYBODY (not even her most drippy cling on babettes) would ask her about fashion advice.

She makes her babettes look like moronic saps! I mean, how have they made it through 20, 30, 40, 50, or even 60+ plus "not wintery but still cold" years, otherwise?!!!

Pull the other one, Babs. Just stop with all the lies and bullshit, it's pathetic.

 

[shazbev]

It was definitely school related and you are right, it wasn’t the local girls school. I saw her on the way out as we were on the way in. Was she wearing that manky pleather jacket? Yes, yes she was. Oh and Babs, it wasn’t pouring with rain. There were a couple of light showers. Why must you exaggerate. Every. Little. Thing?

Edited as I realise I may have given too many clues and I actually will consider E’s privacy. Unlike some (looking at you Blabs)

I'm a bit confused tbh. If E isn't going to the local girls' school ,why the hell then did they move to the godawful Hobbit house?

 

[Memmy]

My advice would be.... What do you usually wear at this time of year, I assume this isn't your first end of winter on this planet? If you are an adult human surely you are capable of dressing yourself without resorting to asking bloody Babs of all people!

I know poor, poor, babettes. If they have kids too I wonder how they manage to decide what to dress them in

 

[BonBon27]

FFS. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - whatever you think of Babs, you have to admire the sheer audacity of the woman. What for one minute makes her think she is qualified to give fashion advice?!? What on earth?!? How is she not embarrassed to even say the words out loud? And put those photos up? She is clearly deluded and honestly; it’s worrying.

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

I know poor, poor, babettes. If they have kids too I wonder how they manage to decide what to dress them in

Hopefully they don't look to their queen and send them out in snow dressed in joggers with no gloves.

 

[AFlyOnYourWall]

She looks like she has dogs breath

 

[justlurking2345]

“Can’t keep buying new stuff all the time” could have fooled me bab. Almost mid March and I’m fairly sure you’ve “treated yourself” to something new every damn day this year

 

[SugarSnapBam]

Babs tribute

"I won't survive" - parody of "I will survive"

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I couldn't live without my parting on its side
And I spent oh so many nights downing cocks all night long
I didn't grow strong
Didn't know how to carry on

So now I'm out
To a gifted place
I just walked in with my clown make up piled all over my yellow face
I should have changed that stupid frock, after all I did get in for free
If I'd have known for just one second the cowbags would bother me

Go on Aunt Flo, walk out the door
Just turn around now, cos I'm approaching menopause
I need to think of another attention seeking lie
Shall I binge crumble?
Or will I lay in my pit and die

Oh yes that's I
I won't survive
Oh as long as I have Babette's love, I know I'll stay alive
I need constant praise to live
I have no content to give

I won't survive
I WON'T survive

Hey hey

*Instrumental*

Need a decent bathroom floor where I can fall apart
Invited to a womens uni talk because I am so smart
And I spend oh so many nights doomscrolling tattle by myself
And I just cry, can't even hold my head up high
And you see me, on my group zoom
I'm just that sad yellow person in Doc Martin boots
And so the cowbags felt like dropping by and just expect me to be pleased
Well now I'm blaming it on hacking so no one will question me

Go on now go, I'm such a bore
Just turn around now, cos I've a date with a bathroom floor
When cowbags try to expose me of all my lies
You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd wallow in my pit and die

Oh yes that's I
I won't survive
Oh as soon as I'm asked something that's tough, you know I'll run and hide
I've got to flog my kids to live
I'm a sad old yellow div

I WON'T survive

YOUR BEST YET!

 

[Boredofgrey]

Babs tribute

"I won't survive" - parody of "I will survive"

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I couldn't live without my parting on its side
And I spent oh so many nights downing cocks all night long
I didn't grow strong
Didn't know how to carry on

So now I'm out
To a gifted place
I just walked in with my clown make up piled all over my yellow face
I should have changed that stupid frock, after all I did get in for free
If I'd have known for just one second the cowbags would bother me

Go on Aunt Flo, walk out the door
Just turn around now, cos I'm approaching menopause
I need to think of another attention seeking lie
Shall I binge crumble?
Or will I lay in my pit and die

Oh yes that's I
I won't survive
Oh as long as I have Babette's love, I know I'll stay alive
I need constant praise to live
I have no content to give

I won't survive
I WON'T survive

Hey hey

*Instrumental*

Need a decent bathroom floor where I can fall apart
Invited to a womens uni talk because I am so smart
And I spend oh so many nights doomscrolling tattle by myself
And I just cry, can't even hold my head up high
And you see me, on my group zoom
I'm just that sad yellow person in Doc Martin boots
And so the cowbags felt like dropping by and just expect me to be pleased
Well now I'm blaming it on hacking so no one will question me

Go on now go, I'm such a bore
Just turn around now, cos I've a date with a bathroom floor
When cowbags try to expose me of all my lies
You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd wallow in my pit and die

Oh yes that's I
I won't survive
Oh as soon as I'm asked something that's tough, you know I'll run and hide
I've got to flog my kids to live
I'm a sad old yellow div

I WON'T survive

Tattle complete. You win

 

[Memmy]

I'm a bit confused tbh. If E isn't going to the local girls' school ,why the hell then did they move to the godawful Hobbit house?

Because they really, really wanted a bigger mortgage

 

[Rags2Riches]

“Can’t keep buying new stuff all the time” could have fooled me bab. Almost mid March and I’m fairly sure you’ve “treated yourself” to something new every damn day this year

She literally said it like a mum would say to a toddler wanting to get sweets - we can’t buy you treats all the time! - Babs noone has ever once asked you to buy yourself new clothes for a haul ever.

Can’t stand old lurch Ste but he must literally be able to meditate himself into a different realm to be able to put up with that condescending tone and the sheer amount of complaining that woman must do.

 

[Memmy]

“Can’t keep buying new stuff all the time” could have fooled me bab. Almost mid March and I’m fairly sure you’ve “treated yourself” to something new every damn day this year

Yet she goes for a sulk in the car on Stevens birthday because he wanted to buy himself and the kids football shirts.

I wonder if the same staff recognised sulky Babs when they went again with Rog recently

 

[Baboff]

Why have they moved the damp hobbit hole if E isn't even going to the girls school?
Now they are stuck in the teeny house of doom with water running down the windows.

 

[SugarSnapBam]

I'm a bit confused tbh. If E isn't going to the local girls' school ,why the hell then did they move to the godawful Hobbit house?

My theory? Erin did get into one of the local grammar schools, & that's probably where Babs went this morning (I wonder if PUS went, too? My husband came to everything school related. I do appreciate not every family can, but my husband runs his own business so has that flexibility, as does PUS). I reckon they moved house to 100% secure a catchment area place in the local girls school (which is in fact, an absolutely superb school), just incase Erin didn't pass her 11+ exam, but as it turns out they could have stayed where they were, which in my opinion was a much, much better house. It was bigger, had more room (and rooms!) plus their purpose built garage office space and huge garden. I suspect they have their regrets about the house move, in hindsight.

Why have they moved the damp hobbit hole if E isn't even going to the girls school?
Now they are stuck in the teeny house of doom with water running down the windows.

My theory is above

 

[BLAH76]

Why have they moved the damp hobbit hole if E isn't even going to the girls school?
Now they are stuck in the teeny house of doom with water running down the windows.

Maybe she didn't get in? She did say she'd got the school she (Erin) wanted didn't she? Odd wording and not much fanfare about it which is even more odd for Babs

Edit to ask: are these grammar schools actually ones that require exams for entry? I only ask as went to a Grammar school, but it was in name only.. I admit I have omitted that fact on occasion in my life