Brummy Mummy #104 We are Anonymous, we infiltrate Zoom

[hattie20]

Hey there, fellow cowbags/trolls/governors.

I had some really shit news today. I am now awaiting a cancer diagnosis. Or not hopefully. Please send me all your influencershit good vibes.

So I doubt I will be around here for a little while or wasting my life looking at Emma.

I’m actually going to relish every second of my wonderful children, my husband, my lovely in laws and my father just incase I hear the worst.

Oh, and no one will be banished to their rooms so I can watch shit TV, or drink and eat shit in peace (not that I did that anyway, but a word from the other side emma, fucking enjoy them).

I won’t say a hard or busy week is free drinks and buying ill fitting dresses. My hard weeks will be some pretty invasive tests.

I won’t be wasting my life wishing for the menopause or going to bed at 8pm. I will be wringing every second out of life incase this is my last chance.

 

[Missymoo92]

Babs tribute

"I won't survive" - parody of "I will survive"

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I couldn't live without my parting on its side
And I spent oh so many nights downing cocks all night long
I didn't grow strong
Didn't know how to carry on

So now I'm out
To a gifted place
I just walked in with my clown make up piled all over my yellow face
I should have changed that stupid frock, after all I did get in for free
If I'd have known for just one second the cowbags would bother me

Go on Aunt Flo, walk out the door
Just turn around now, cos I'm approaching menopause
I need to think of another attention seeking lie
Shall I binge crumble?
Or will I lay in my pit and die

Oh yes that's I
I won't survive
Oh as long as I have Babette's love, I know I'll stay alive
I need constant praise to live
I have no content to give

I won't survive
I WON'T survive

Hey hey

*Instrumental*

Need a decent bathroom floor where I can fall apart
Invited to a womens uni talk because I am so smart
And I spend oh so many nights doomscrolling tattle by myself
And I just cry, can't even hold my head up high
And you see me, on my group zoom
I'm just that sad yellow person in Doc Martin boots
And so the cowbags felt like dropping by and just expect me to be pleased
Well now I'm blaming it on hacking so no one will question me

Go on now go, I'm such a bore
Just turn around now, cos I've a date with a bathroom floor
When cowbags try to expose me of all my lies
You think I'd crumble?
You think I'd wallow in my pit and die

Oh yes that's I
I won't survive
Oh as soon as I'm asked something that's tough, you know I'll run and hide
I've got to flog my kids to live
I'm a sad old yellow div

I WON'T survive

 

[shazbev]

Excellent thread title . I so wished I'd logged into the zoom event, just so I could've shouted 'You have no authority here ,Bab' à la Jackie Weaver style...that would've shaken things up a bit .

 

[SugarSnapBam]

We often say how immature Emma is, how stunted she is and how she did things in the past that were absolutely far too immature for her to be engaging in at the ages she was (chasing boy bands in her early 20's, for example). I had a scroll back through her IG grid and came across these gems. She was 28 years of age. !!!TWENTY EIGHT!!! years of age and she was making picture scrapbooks with stickers and slogans

 

[chipstick]

Think this might be my favourite ever thread title.

@BLAH76 you are a kweeeen

Thanks @Gl1tt3rUn1c0rn for the new thread, when I tell you I screamed and was rabid to see it.

Just in: actual footage of Tattlers legitimately accessing Emma's publicly available Zoom link.

 

[Memmy]

View attachment 1134754
Spends over £500k on a mouldy tiny house.
Can't afford to buy decent curtains that fit

Maybe she thought her windows were a size 18

 

[ScrambledEggs]

Am I remembering it wrong?? Wasn’t this just growing up in the 70/80s? Most people didn’t drive. Parents always sacrificed what was seen as frivolous activities/wants to enable their kids to do various clubs or you know pay fricking bills. It’s like she thinks she was hard done by or her mom was some sort of saint for doing this?!
I mean one of my earliest memories is my dad dragging their mattress into the lounge of our high rose council flat in the winter so we could all sleep together with the fire on low (the only heating we had) in the depths of winter or when I was literally trapped in bed by the weight of the sheets/blankets/eiderdowns on it to keep me warm of a night. My dad was one of the 80s 1in10 at this point there were sacrifices and lots of them but I didn’t realise I just had a wonderful upbringing with 2 people that adored me. Now I look back on how hard it must have been for them and when they were alive I did everything I could to make their lives easier and more comfortable. I could never repay what they did for me and her fucking poem (where she can’t decide on Mum or Mom in the text) just sticks in my throat especially as my mom has passed. She could do so much more for her parents with her income but she chooses to only do the things that put her in a good light.

sorry for making it about me and my memories. I think I’m just missing my mom more atm with Mother’s Day approaching.

Don’t say sorry ,Growing up in the 70s my mum was a single parent , we lived in council property. We never owned a car or had lessons in anything . My mum had a boyfriend who had a car and we went on holiday to Wales a few times

As an adult mum told me that she turned the fires off when we were in bed , she sat in darkness with a coat because every minute counted on the electric meter. My mum bought the cheapest cuts of meat ( belly pork was considered poor man’s meat) from the butchers & we went up the markets in town every Saturday for veg. Although we were poor mum cooked healthy stews and soups .

Luckily when I started earning a good wage I was able to spoil her a little.. nothing extravagant she wasn’t materialistic . No way anything I did made up for how much she did for us . I don’t remember being cold or hungry .

I do remember cuddles and kisses.

I miss her so much . Hugs for everyone here who is missing a loved one right now.

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

Please tell me that these people are just taking the piss with their comments

Yeah a 12 year old deffo said that. And then the whole street came out of their doors and clapped and Putin phoned and said "fair do's you've inspired me to turn myself in" .

If I even try and show my daughter a tiktok that I think she would find funny she tells me to leave her alone and stop being a Karen.

 

[Allthecakes]

 

[Bluesilverfix25]

just nip upstairs to the top top Babs, he’ll be awake and scrolling Grindr!!

 

[Rags2Riches]

I think Babs got her following because people were tired of seeing the insta perfect mum which is why she calls them awful names, films herself doing activities with them looking bored af and posts photos of them having tantrums and people saw her as “real”

Then she clung on to bigger influences and got kicked to the curb and she’ll forever be chasing her past success down the road of all the destruction she’s caused her in life.

She’s like a tv show .. season 1-2 were ok, season 3 peak viewing, season 4 declining views - star of the show LP fucks off by season 5 and then by season 6 it’s an absolute train wreck that everyone knows should finished ages ago but because the writers aka babs are so greedy they keep on going.

 

[SugarSnapBam]

I bloody hope she isn't modelling this range... Be kind

Total transparency - I fucking HATE this "be kind" bullshit. Am I kind? Yes, I am. Am I considerate? Absolutely. Was I raised with manners and do I use them? Yes, yes, yes! Am I empathetic? Yes, & too much sometimes, it affects me emotionally and I can become invested. However, do I appreciate free speech and the ability to speak my mind if I'm pissed off, angered, triggered, down, humoured, entertained etc.,? 100%!!! & I'm sick to the back teeth of instawankers and people on the socials in general thinking they can do, say, behave the way they want to without anybody questioning them, discussing them, telling them. They use this "be kind" bullshit to gloss over what they put out. Twats.

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

She's actually called her kids idiots online for everyone to see? Wow. I hope they see it when they're older and tell her to fuck off.

oh, calling them "idiots" is nothing! her blog is littered with similar quotes, including labelling her toddler children as "gits", "cunning monsters", "sods", "utter arseholes" "pyschotic, unreasonable monsters", "utter bastards" and "master manipulators", referring to three-year old erin as "psychotic" and a "crazy ass naughty beast" and two-year ethan as "cruel"and" a tantrum throwing loon", detailing that getting thru his toddler years took "a lot of love and patience on her side" because he was "hard work" and generally a very stubborn and angry little boy - to the point that she had to "protect the world from his anger" by keeping him home and avoiding day trips and family celebrations - and explaining that her knew exactly how to "push her buttons", "lashed out" and purposefully manipulated situations in a way that he knew would upset her. presumably, her dislike of her son stems from the fact that "he was conceived to provide our beautiful girl with a BFF", and she fully expected him to be a girl, because the wet ones are "a family of girls". an instant disappointment.

she also clarifies that - on family days out - her toddlers" just ruin stuff" and "enjoy just pure fucking it up for the rest of us". loving descriptions, plastered all over the internet for them to stumble upon as they grow up, and learn how much she truly hated being their mother.

equally, there are quite a few references to the future TT, highlighting how awful she is at singing and dancing! "I am a bit of a drama queen. I love a musical. My girl has also acquired these 'skills'. Alas it generally is a nonsensical tirade of words and odd fit like dance movements. I sit and clap enthusiastically. All whilst making a mental note to NEVER let her apply for the X Factor."

although apparently - casually promoting violence as usual - "If Simon ever DARED tell my girl she couldn't sing? I WOULD SMASH HIS FACE IN!"

 

[chipstick]

When Emma and Ste leave the house:

 

[Bohooo]

Was it a mummy and toddler meet up or an evening do? How much does she mingle?

I went to a mummy one at John Lewis - my friend booked it (no checking police files ) as we had all recently had babies and it was free. We used to meet quite regularly at John Lewis for free cake on the app anyway but we went as she had always said previously about goodie bags so we went along to see if there was any good freebies but alas no freebies . It was just groups sat round tables chatting whilst she popped round the room, asking what other influencers we liked showing no real interest in anything tbh. Wet San was there and showed zero interest in our babies despite blabs claiming she loved kids. There was people who came without kids to see her too (weird) in the end we sacked it off and went for a nice pub lunch with the babies and then my friend introduced me to tattle and the rest is history

 

[JulieScoobyDoo]

How about getting up and making him a coffee, Babs? Or getting your children some breakfast. How many other parents have time to be making spreadsheets at 7am on a Wednesday?

 

[tigerlilly_xx]

Please tell me that these people are just taking the piss with their comments

If your child said that, you’ve failed as a parent for even letting your child look at content like that.

 

[Porkiepies]

Friday night 1998 Porkiepies too wore the bra and suit combo, Porkiepies preferred All Saints style to Spice Girls. Porkiepies wore big heels too, Porkiepies did all nighters too.
Porkiepies wasn't a sheep, she didn't get a Mel C tattoo.

Friday night 2022 Porkiepies looks back at her past self and smiles, she remembers the happy days of being a young adult but looks at her present and thinks. Thank fuck I'm not a frumpy 40's wannabe desperately trying to be relevant on social media by seeking attention pretending to be happy and body confident while constantly contradicting myself.

Life changes but Porkiepies is fully aware her children and their friends do not need to see my baps and flaps all over the Internet or read about how wonderful past Porkiepies was compared to present day Porkie.

 

[Memmy]

Thread suggestion #105

Menopause, allergies or is she just decomposing?

 

[ScrambledEggs]

Packing cubes are a good idea but not life changing Babs .


3 million people leaving their homes , their belongings, their pets and of course their loved ones who can't leave the Ukraine for health or enlisting in the Military.

That's fucking life changing.