Brummy Mummy #102 Should have gone to Spec.. sorry, Barcelona

[tahrah]

Cont.

Sometimes if I make plans with friends. And they cancel at the last minute. I pretend to be really disappointed but secretly I am OVERJOYED at not having to leave the house.

Sometimes if I see a raisin on the floor I give it a swift kick under the couch rather than picking it up.

Sometimes. I eat it.

Sometimes I say "LET'S HAVE A MCDONALDS FOR TEA!" and make out like it's a huge treat when in reality I am just desperate for a McFlurry.

Sometimes I say "amazing!" or "no way!" when I have absolutely no clue what my son is talking about.

Sometimes I tell the kids I will look after the contents of a party bag. And then proceed to eat it all after they have gone to bed terrified they will remember it exists. And Easter Eggs. And selection boxes.

Sometimes I pretend to be a bit cross my youngest wants to sleep in my bed at night when really I am happy to sniff him and escape my husband's snoring.

Sometimes I pretend I am on the toilet doing a really big poo. I'm not. I'm staring at perfect people doing perfect things on instagram.

 

[Memmy]

cont.

Cont.

Sometimes if I make plans with friends. And they cancel at the last minute. I pretend to be really disappointed but secretly I am OVERJOYED at not having to leave the house.

Sometimes if I see a raisin on the floor I give it a swift kick under the couch rather than picking it up.

Sometimes. I eat it.

Sometimes I say "LET'S HAVE A MCDONALDS FOR TEA!" and make out like it's a huge treat when in reality I am just desperate for a McFlurry.

Sometimes I say "amazing!" or "no way!" when I have absolutely no clue what my son is talking about.

Sometimes I tell the kids I will look after the contents of a party bag. And then proceed to eat it all after they have gone to bed terrified they will remember it exists. And Easter Eggs. And selection boxes.

Sometimes I pretend to be a bit cross my youngest wants to sleep in my bed at night when really I am happy to sniff him and escape my husband's snoring.

Sometimes I pretend I am on the toilet doing a really big poo. I'm not. I'm staring at perfect people doing perfect things on instagram.

Sometimes I pretend I'm having a fab time in Iceland when I'm f*cking miserable and miss my beloved Netflix and sofa

 

[BonBon27]

Sometimes I pretend that I’m really busy and important when in fact I have no value in the world.

Sometimes I say people have DM’d me because I am so popular but I actually get all my ideas from Tattle.

 

[Thisle]

Can I request a comma between "sorry" and "Barcelona", currently I'm reading it like an apology to Barcelona that she didn’t go there but I think we all agree Barcelona is relieved

I live in Barcelona and I was so relieved she didn't come and butcher it Would have been reporting back here if I'd have seen her in the wild though

 

[nosy_lurker]

Regarding holiday sleeping arrangements...

I have children similar age and boy/girl

I can see why at their age they wouldn't want to share a bed (mine wouldnt)

What I don't get is
A) why didn't Ste get the double bed-it was his bday trip and he is taller so prob needed the room
B) why didn't Babs share with Ethan given their cosleep situation
C) why didn't they look for a better sleeping set up (last family room we stayed in was 1 double and 2 single beds-took me a while but they do exist)

 

[LemonLife]

Sometimes I claim to be body positive! Even though I lie about my clothing size so obviously ascribe to the idea that thin = beauty

 

[tahrah]

Just because today's thread is a bit quiet I thought I would have a nosey around her blog.

I stumbled across this poem she wrote for "the boy".

Why must she exploit the most vulnerable in her life?

17/11/17

I OFTEN WATCH YOU WHILST YOU SLEEP


I often watch you
Whilst you sleep
I quietly open the door
And in I creep

I stand quite still
And stop and stare
Too scared to breathe
In case you know I'm there

You're so cross at the moment
And it's hard to see
You shout, you scream
And say you "hate" me

You row with your sister
And call her names
You start off playing nicely
But then ruin every game

You're so well behaved at school
And for that I am pleased
But when you're back at home
I can't quite work out what you need

You scream that you're hungry
Then won't eat your tea
You say you want a cuddle
Then try to wrestle me

I miss my baby boy
Who was fair and oh so sweet
So happy and content
Went shy for people that we meet

I know it's just a phase
And one day this time will go
You will start to say "yes!"
Instead of screaming "NO"

So inside your room
Each night I stand
I kiss your rose bud lips
And hold your chubby hand

You'll always be my best boy
Even when you can be quite cruel
I know that you're just tired
From all that fun in school

So each night I will hover
And quietly look and stare
You won't remember it
But please know I was always there.

 

[Spicegirl13]

Who does this sound like?!

 

[LaughingCow]

Sometimes I pretend to be a size 18, when I am actually a size 20.

 

[Allthecakes]

Just because today's thread is a bit quiet I thought I would have a nosey around her blog.

I stumbled across this poem she wrote for "the boy".

Why must she exploit the most vulnerable in her life?

17/11/17

I OFTEN WATCH YOU WHILST YOU SLEEP

Wow, she's excelled herself... connection and a parent who is present, which is why he is constantly seeking her approval and validation, always 2nd fiddle to the not-so TTT. Desperately sad. Hope she's saving for the kids to have better therapy than she's tried.

 

[Jade33]

Sometimes I pretend to be a size 18, when I am actually a size 20.

*minimum

 

[Allthecakes]

Sometimes I pretend the cashier suggested I brought 2 creme eggs to treat myself

 

[Noodlecat]

She is just the WORST! In that poem she's called her then four or five year old boy "cruel"! What is wrong with her? She's the one who is cruel. He was being a typical child. This is just depressing now!

 

[BonBon27]

Sometimes I pretend random people compliment me because I’m so insecure that even fictional validation and attention makes me feel good about myself.

Sometimes I pretend I’m super intelligent but I actually don’t know when to use a comma so I just chuck in full stops and hope for the best.

Sometimes I pretend I’m a super Disney fan but really I just like going there because I can show off as it’s really expensive, shop for loads of unnecessary tat first, take loads of Insta worthy photos and eat mountains of crap food.

Sometimes I pretend my followers are friends so that they like me and will pay me compliments and line my pockets buying my tit over priced merch.


(I need to stop but this is fast becoming my new favourite game )

 

[MrsJ2000]

She is just the WORST! In that poem she's called her then four or five year old boy "cruel"! What is wrong with her? She's the one who is cruel. He was being a typical child. This is just depressing now!

That was what upset me, when called him cruel! He wasn’t cruel at all! Thats what she is, saying those things about her lovely little boy

 

[tahrah]

Your children are having a meltdown at a restaurant you ...
A. Seperate your children and explain this behaviour is unacceptable and if they do not stop you will leave immediately.
B. Think to yourself ... Great content! ... and take a picture of your children at their most vulnerable.

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

According to a 2017 survey from the National Sleep Foundation, almost one in four married couples sleep in separate beds.

Who would've thought it was that high?

yeah, i was also surprised the percentage was that high - although i doubt that means that they make a point of never sharing a bed like babs and steve! it's probably more that they sometimes sleep in separate beds - i can see that may work better for some couples in terms of jobs and not wanting to disturb each other, co-sleeping with kids or due to snoring or insomnia or any number of reasons - but that's entirely the point. if it's 25% of couples, that means that some of the devoted babettes who adore babs must be included in that percentage - she literally has super easy, no-effort-required, "relatable" content at her fingertips! but she's so deeply ashamed, because in her case, the reason they don't share a bed is because steve cannot bare to be near her - just remember how desperate he was to get his hands off he rin that titanic pose - and that makes her painfully insecure, because she's built them up to be total #couplegoals in the eys of the babettes!

and whilst it's hardly surprising that babnocchio lies about where steve sleeps, her insecurity about their sleeping arrangements - and lack of "private part action" #bitrude - is obvious because - for somone who fabricates totally unbelievable stories on a daily basis - she isn't even comfortable to concoct a story about how steve's snoring forces them to sleep apart. ever since ethan started sleeping in his own bed, it's been a constant pretence of justifying that steve absolutely, definitely does share the double bed in the bedroom she literally refers to as HERS. i don't know who she thinks she's deceiving, because it's so obvious! yet of all the genuinely embarrassing private details about her life/body/past etc that she's happy to plaster all over SM, her loveless marriage and her clothes size are the two things she cannot bare to discuss.

 

[Rags2Riches]

Please don't worry. I checked too and this definitely had the most votes at the time I looked. And like i said, if people aren't happy then they could always do it themselves. It just derails the thread talking about it. But honestly, I think you do a great job

Oh puh-lease. If you’d like to @ me because I asked how the title works and seeing as how you’ve brought this up twice now then please do so.

 

[Another Longtime Lurker]

Sometimes I’m not a dick. Sorry, never happened

 

[AliceInWanderLost]

Sometimes I pretend random people compliment me because I’m so insecure that even fictional validation and attention makes me feel good about myself.

Sometimes I pretend I’m super intelligent but I actually don’t know when to use a comma so I just chuck in full stops and hope for the best.

Sometimes I pretend I’m a super Disney fan but really I just like going there because I can show off as it’s really expensive, shop for loads of unnecessary tat first, take loads of Insta worthy photos and eat mountains of crap food.

Sometimes I pretend my followers are friends so that they like me and will pay me compliments and line my pockets buying my tit over priced merch.


(I need to stop but this is fast becoming my new favourite game )

sometimes i share sly photos of my poorly dad without his knowledge, with the sole intention of garnering lots of sympathetic comments and a guaranteed increase in engagement.

sometimes i pretend that i'm spending time with my son because i actually want to do, but then prove my true intentions by labelling my post as a #gifted trip.

sometimes i reluctantly buy items of clothing that actually fit me properly, but manipulate it as an opportunity to dedicate a post to "admitting" i "sized up", because i know that my comments will be filled with people applauding me as brave.

sometimes i pretend to have invented basic words which are regularly used by people who speak english, because - despite my masters-level intelligence - i think it's endearing to present myself as ditzy.

sometimes i force my kids to get up while it's still dark outside to pose in photos for content just so i can post it on my grid as early as possible. #priorities

sometimes i pretend to suffer from health conditions i have never experienced, and refer to mental health struggles and therapy, because i know it will cause a flood of comments filled with sympathy and attention, which makes me feel validated.

sometimes i post content aimed at teenage ex-boyfriends, desperately hoping they'll see it and know what they missed out on! #crackingrack

sometimes i share photos of my kids as toddlers and claim i wish incould go back in time and sniff their heads, when actually i have made it publicly very clear that i hated being a mother when my kids were of baby/toddler age.

sometimes i body shame other women because their bodies aren't a mirror replica of my own, so i resort to skinny shaming and mocking anyone who exercises, because tearing other women down makes me feel better about myself.

sometimes i state that i am a "good mum" because i know i'm not, but i can rely on people responding with guarantees that i am a fantastic mother, which eradicates any flutters of guilt that i constantly exploit my kids.

sometimes i wish i could have another baby solely for content, but steve adamantly refused to engage in "private parts action", so i had to make do with a puppy.

sometimes i demand my husband buy me flowers so i can share photos on SM and recieve validation that my loveless marriage is #coulkegoals and inspirational, which makes me feel less secure about the fact that he's in love with another man.

sometimes i realise how utterly miserable i am trapped in a loveless marriage with two kids i actively avoid spending time with and no hope of ever returning to a career in teaching, so i fill the huge void in my life with a habit of compulsively over-spending on plastic tat, because it brings me a fleeting moment of happiness.

sometimes i am fully aware that i am not comfortable or confident in my body, but i continue to label myself as a body-confident role model to reel in more followers and then teach them to define themselves entirely by their clothes size, and hand out tips on how to conceal their insecurities.