I've been thinking about that photo all morning. Didn't even notice the 5th one on the left at first. There's something about how 3 of them still just looking back at the camera, how she held those poses for so long, how she had another camera off to the side the entire time recording a video of the photos being taken... And how truly terrible and amateurish the end result looks. It's brutal
Beckiejbrown #4 Whether she’s bi or whether she’s straight, fake ADHD means love has to wait
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I have a friend who only ever hangs out with her boyfriend’s mates. Beckie would be the same I bet (only she’d hang on the edges pouting and moaning). Maybe I will see her about once every few months. Thing is her BF is alright and wouldn’t care if she went off with her mates. I worry about her if they ever split. Hopefully they won’t but she’d go from seeing his mates all the time to never seeing them
That was Ash!
I think she needs to be the most important person for other people. She was openly jealous about other ytubers meeting up without her and I think there must have been some sibling rivalty with her personality...I don't think she realises that probably a lot of what she craves (being loved, attention, spending time with someone) can be fulfilled through friendship. I think she'd be so much mentally healthier as well if she had other people around her to ground her. Then again, I'd imagine she'd be insufferable to have as a friend.
Also her northern lights pics are cracking me up. She's got all these fancy cameras and professes to love technology and photography but her photos of the northern lights are so tit
She is misery posting on her tiktok, so far migraine, adhd, autism and now a tiktok about buying a glass rose and how that is horrible because she is single…
Even if she had a partner she would misery post. Her problem is herself.
Infuriates me that while she’s sat crying about having a migraine she’s on her pissing phone and has the lights on!!
I’m so glad I unfollowed. My emetophobia cannot with her
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like how is filming yourself puking any better than filming yourself taking a tit
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like how is filming yourself puking any better than filming yourself taking a tit
The anger she has when she posts this tit. If you’re in that much pain your energy is literally drained from you, anger can come after but in midst of it you physically can’t. Something obviously triggers these attacks, not migraine attacks but attacks of angry over sharing. Does anyone actually believe this?!
does she really have to moan and writhe while throwing up in her braless skin tight crop top you can see her nips through? Who is this content for
Maybe shed meet someone as miserable as themselves and they could compete over who has it worse until they’re both old
You ever notice how she's went to the effort of cropping out the part of the video where she reaches over to the phone to hit record? You think she does the wee moans when she's editing too? Maybe she should set up another camera on the side so we can see the process. Let's get Behind The Beckie
Absolutely nothing she does is spontaneous, even the medical emergencies she fakes. Instead you're left with her voluntarily choosing to film, edit and upload a video of her lying in bed, nips out, moaning and breathing heavy, talking about herself as 'we' again. This is santa-bait, all of this is santa-bait
That felt like watching a weird fetish thing.
Also her latest story, goodness gracious me. She's so dramatic. Most people don't attempt social gathering while constantly vomiting. Just stay home. It sucks but it sucks for anyone- everyone on EARTH has had to miss out on things because of illness. She deliberately forgets that she regularly goes out and does a (fairly expensive) hobby that lots of people wouldn't have time or money to do. That's why her groups look like a lot of older men with a bit more time and money- I don't think I'm being over the top when I say that most women her age wouldn't have both the money and time to constantly go out kayaking/canoeing. She DOES have a life. But she has this idea of what life should be, and she seems to deliberately sabotage herself so someone notices and "saves" her and hands it all to her.
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Also, when I've had bouts of vomiting THAT frequent (I was in hospital and I was vomiting every 15 minutes and had to be hooked up to IV and anti nausea etc). I couldn't sit up, my eyes couldn't focus, and after a few goes (TMI WARNING) I was just retching up neon green acid bile. If she was throwing up in the shower, brushing her teeth, and apparently a few more times just in the bathroom, she'd be on the floor severely dehydrated and unable to stand up or speak. I bet she's just got like, a bit of acid reflux she's spitting out most of the time. Or it's just all complete bullshit.
Also her latest story, goodness gracious me. She's so dramatic. Most people don't attempt social gathering while constantly vomiting. Just stay home. It sucks but it sucks for anyone- everyone on EARTH has had to miss out on things because of illness. She deliberately forgets that she regularly goes out and does a (fairly expensive) hobby that lots of people wouldn't have time or money to do. That's why her groups look like a lot of older men with a bit more time and money- I don't think I'm being over the top when I say that most women her age wouldn't have both the money and time to constantly go out kayaking/canoeing. She DOES have a life. But she has this idea of what life should be, and she seems to deliberately sabotage herself so someone notices and "saves" her and hands it all to her.
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Also, when I've had bouts of vomiting THAT frequent (I was in hospital and I was vomiting every 15 minutes and had to be hooked up to IV and anti nausea etc). I couldn't sit up, my eyes couldn't focus, and after a few goes (TMI WARNING) I was just retching up neon green acid bile. If she was throwing up in the shower, brushing her teeth, and apparently a few more times just in the bathroom, she'd be on the floor severely dehydrated and unable to stand up or speak. I bet she's just got like, a bit of acid reflux she's spitting out most of the time. Or it's just all complete bullshit.
Does she work atm? Where’s she getting all this kayaking time? It’s such a luxury!
She really peaked when she was 15 and can’t get over it
She is so completely obsessed with herself. She studies herself in a very unhealthy way. She won't find peace or mental clarity by looking at herself SO intensely. She's looking too close and she's gone right past "knowing yourself and having self awareness". She needs to focus on other people. It might seem trite, but she needs to maybe start volunteering and purposely doing things for other people. She needs to do this in a BIG way to break her unhealthy obsession with herself.
Well hello there. Long-time lurker and GuruGossip veteran here. I’ve been watching this trainwreck from the sidelines, often in actual awe at what I’m seeing. Surely this can’t be real? At this point, it calls for sectioning?
I hope you’ll forgive me for being candid but I need to address some things. I was raised by a narcissist so I’m hyper-aware of coming across as one, so I hope you’ll understand that I’m sharing my personal experience to contextualise some of Beckie’s “struggles” rather than to trauma dump.
And because I know you read here Beckie, I’m going to speak directly to you.
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Dear Beckie,
I’m approaching 30. I have a career that I love which pays me well and brings me fulfilment. I have an active social life, a long-term partner who I adore, and lots of hobbies. We have a pet dog who is just the loveliest thing. I travel and see the world. We can’t afford our own place to rent (we live in one of the most expensive cities in the UK) so we live with my partner’s parents. Not ideal, but it works for us and we love them very much. On the surface, my life looks perfect.
But I also have borderline personality disorder, ADHD, C-PTSD, pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, depression, and chronic sleep disorder. I take 7 pills every morning. Under the surface, I’m kicking frantically and trying not to inhale the saltwater. Every day is a war with myself. But I fight it, because what else am I supposed to do?
Not to alarm you, but I don’t have an “official” diagnosis of ADHD. But my therapist has done diagnostic assessments and my GP agrees that it is appropriate conclusion. But they both believe that unless I want meds (which I don’t) there is little value in getting a diagnosis. I’ve gone through the painful process of realising how obvious the signs were when I was a child, but there’s no point dwelling on it now because it won’t help the present or future. Slapping a label on something and calling it a day doesn’t treat your symptoms. Which, incidentally, aren’t brought on by a diagnosis either - like your so-called autistic traits.
So I treat my symptoms. Head on. Even though I’ve been failed by the NHS, sat on stagnant waiting lists, and undertaken redundant treatments. At one point, I was even told that the only option on the NHS was group therapy, which they wouldn’t refer me for because it would make me worse off. You’re not the only one.
But guess what? I read books about my conditions to help me understand myself. I try online workbooks, journals, podcasts, and reading the experiences of others in my position to understand their journey and what I can learn from them to apply to my own circumstances. All small steps towards living a more meaningful life. I organise my finances to afford the private therapy I need. I make sacrifices to make it work. My parents aren’t able to support me financially - although they would in a heartbeat if they could. But we’re not that privileged.
I share my “complex issues” (as they’re referred to by my GP) with my family, closest friends and trusted colleagues. They’re the only people who need to know. As we emerged from COVID, I realised I had no friends and I felt totally alone. So I joined a two clubs and within weeks I had two new circles of incredible friends who are there to support me. I hold down my job. Even when it means calling my manager at 9am on a Wednesday morning to let her know I haven’t slept, or my PMDD is flaring up, and that I need to take some time or work flexibly that day. Which I’m entitled to do because I have a Wellness Action Plan. An occupational health report. Everything I need to flourish. But those things didn’t happen magically. I didn't wake up one day with this life. I worked for it. I took the initiative to make it happen. Just like you can.
I won’t deny that having multiple health conditions means that you have to work a bit harder than most people just to keep it together. But you’re not doing any work at all. Life doesn’t just happen to you. You are not passive. You are responsible for your own path.
Take accountability for what your life has become.
I hope you’ll forgive me for being candid but I need to address some things. I was raised by a narcissist so I’m hyper-aware of coming across as one, so I hope you’ll understand that I’m sharing my personal experience to contextualise some of Beckie’s “struggles” rather than to trauma dump.
And because I know you read here Beckie, I’m going to speak directly to you.
—
Dear Beckie,
I’m approaching 30. I have a career that I love which pays me well and brings me fulfilment. I have an active social life, a long-term partner who I adore, and lots of hobbies. We have a pet dog who is just the loveliest thing. I travel and see the world. We can’t afford our own place to rent (we live in one of the most expensive cities in the UK) so we live with my partner’s parents. Not ideal, but it works for us and we love them very much. On the surface, my life looks perfect.
But I also have borderline personality disorder, ADHD, C-PTSD, pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, depression, and chronic sleep disorder. I take 7 pills every morning. Under the surface, I’m kicking frantically and trying not to inhale the saltwater. Every day is a war with myself. But I fight it, because what else am I supposed to do?
Not to alarm you, but I don’t have an “official” diagnosis of ADHD. But my therapist has done diagnostic assessments and my GP agrees that it is appropriate conclusion. But they both believe that unless I want meds (which I don’t) there is little value in getting a diagnosis. I’ve gone through the painful process of realising how obvious the signs were when I was a child, but there’s no point dwelling on it now because it won’t help the present or future. Slapping a label on something and calling it a day doesn’t treat your symptoms. Which, incidentally, aren’t brought on by a diagnosis either - like your so-called autistic traits.
So I treat my symptoms. Head on. Even though I’ve been failed by the NHS, sat on stagnant waiting lists, and undertaken redundant treatments. At one point, I was even told that the only option on the NHS was group therapy, which they wouldn’t refer me for because it would make me worse off. You’re not the only one.
But guess what? I read books about my conditions to help me understand myself. I try online workbooks, journals, podcasts, and reading the experiences of others in my position to understand their journey and what I can learn from them to apply to my own circumstances. All small steps towards living a more meaningful life. I organise my finances to afford the private therapy I need. I make sacrifices to make it work. My parents aren’t able to support me financially - although they would in a heartbeat if they could. But we’re not that privileged.
I share my “complex issues” (as they’re referred to by my GP) with my family, closest friends and trusted colleagues. They’re the only people who need to know. As we emerged from COVID, I realised I had no friends and I felt totally alone. So I joined a two clubs and within weeks I had two new circles of incredible friends who are there to support me. I hold down my job. Even when it means calling my manager at 9am on a Wednesday morning to let her know I haven’t slept, or my PMDD is flaring up, and that I need to take some time or work flexibly that day. Which I’m entitled to do because I have a Wellness Action Plan. An occupational health report. Everything I need to flourish. But those things didn’t happen magically. I didn't wake up one day with this life. I worked for it. I took the initiative to make it happen. Just like you can.
I won’t deny that having multiple health conditions means that you have to work a bit harder than most people just to keep it together. But you’re not doing any work at all. Life doesn’t just happen to you. You are not passive. You are responsible for your own path.
Take accountability for what your life has become.
That is the perfect way to describe Beckie. She is still very much tapped in that teenager mindset at times with her moaning at the camera as if it will suddenly boost her back into relevancy.
I think that the trich made her unique as she was the first person alot of people would have come across with it and to an extent, a young person speaking about mental health in the 2010s before it was more acceptable to speak about it. I think that she's angry that her autism and being a 'migraine warrior,' 'chronic pain warrior,' doesn't give her that online relevancy and sympathy like to what she had years ago.
I'm absolutely curious about how much she actually films in a day at the moment. I'm wondering this as she has so many little clips of herself in situations like in a dance class and the camera is obviously Hidden by her bags. She has clips of her stimming by a kettle ect. She must have thousands of hours of footage of herself from over the years that won't see the light of day unless she needs it as 'evidence' for something. She is a real life Truman Show.
Beckie also makes me think of the topic of impact of social media on children, usually it's the children of mummy bloggers. She's been so impacted by being online from a young age. The only difference is, she's done this to herself than a parent.