Ashley Cain #3

geeforthetea · Sep 15, 2021

heretoreaditall2019 said:
I can definitely understand this point of view but this seems more a comment on the mechanics of gofundme than the family? I agree the platform as a whole is wildly unregulated and there are undoubtedly frauds happening on it daily. Were donors not offered a refund (honest Q)?

The average donation appears to be around £14. I’m aware there will have been a range of £1-£x0000 within that but I can imagine for that amount of money most contributors don’t feel as if the Cains need to provide immediate statutory reporting as to where their donations have been, currently are, and will be and are happy leaving it in a charitable trust in good faith.

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I get what you are saying, I donated a tenner, quite happy to let them do what they like with it. You say £ 14.00 on average but if you were someone who donated a few hundred pounds or even someone on a tight budget who donated £ 50 -100, it would still be nice to be given the option to have your money back to donate it to another cause, like I say perhaps another child who is waiting for treatment, you may not have another spare twenty, fifty or a hundred quid to donate again.
Exactly if go fund me allow people to spend the money out with the remit of their page then it is up to them to do more due diligence and regulate the money they release.
I still do think asking for money for urgent and lifesaving treatment is very different to setting up a foundation.
Look they live their lives in the public eye, we all pay bills and know how much monthly outgoings are, they both documented their struggled to pay for treatment and having to really tighten their belt when Azaylia was in hospital, I disagree with people accusing them of fraud but it's human nature people are going to start asking questions, where is the money coming from to pay their monthly bills on top of daily expenses of the bike tour.

Olgivy · Sep 15, 2021

brumbrum16 said:
I also hate when people say a babies funeral is OTT.

Well please don’t lose any sleep over it.

getmeoutofhere · Sep 15, 2021

geeforthetea said:
I get what you are saying, I donated a tenner, quite happy to let them do what they like with it. You say £ 14.00 on average but if you were someone who donated a few hundred pounds or even someone on a tight budget who donated £ 50 -100, it would still be nice to be given the option to have your money back to donate it to another cause, like I say perhaps another child who is waiting for treatment, you may not have another spare twenty, fifty or a hundred quid to donate again.
Exactly if go fund me allow people to spend the money out with the remit of their page then it is up to them to do more due diligence and regulate the money they release.
I still do think asking for money for urgent and lifesaving treatment is very different to setting up a foundation.
Look they live their lives in the public eye, we all pay bills and know how much monthly outgoings are, they both documented their struggled to pay for treatment and having to really tighten their belt when Azaylia was in hospital, I disagree with people accusing them of fraud but it's human nature people are going to start asking questions, where is the money coming from to pay their monthly bills on top of daily expenses of the bike tour.

The logistics of giving people money back would have been INSANE, cost a fortune and the funding page probably take a cut of each donation too, a logistical nightmare and it would be the minority asking for a charitable donation back. It’s just not possible, it will still be helping a sick child so will still do as intended just not as quickly.

brumbrum16 · Sep 15, 2021

Olgivy said:
Well please don’t lose any sleep over it.

Oh I won't darling.

Noonoosanne2 · Sep 15, 2021

To just run my home, just a normal 2 bedded family home, with the basics of mortgage, council tax, water, gas, electricity, food shop and our internet and mobiles we pay between £1700 - £1800 a month that’s without other bills so just the basics are £20k + a year. That’s a lot of money an I would definitely be worrying if I hadn’t worked for over a year so I can see where people come from wondering how they get by

getmeoutofhere · Sep 15, 2021

Noonoosanne2 said:
To just run my home, just a normal 2 bedded family home, with the basics of mortgage, council tax, water, gas, electricity, food shop and our internet and mobiles we pay between £1700 - £1800 a month that’s without other bills so just the basics are £20k + a year. That’s a lot of money an I would definitely be worrying if I hadn’t worked for over a year so I can see where people come from wondering how they get by

To be fair to them they have a massive family it seems. If each of them was helping with £100 a month it would soon add up. Plus they have done paid ads. I think people underestimate how much these ads pay influencers with 1 million followers. Thousands

I get why people are asking questions but they aren’t flying around first class and driving bentleys with a 7 bed detached house. They are hardly in the house so bills will be low. Half of the designer clothes will probably be from Turkey when ash got his teeth done

geeforthetea · Sep 15, 2021

getmeoutofhere said:
The logistics of giving people money back would have been INSANE, cost a fortune and the funding page probably take a cut of each donation too, a logistical nightmare and it would be the minority asking for a charitable donation back. It’s just not possible, it will still be helping a sick child so will still do as intended just not as quickly.

Not really I've heard of people offering refunds from go fund me before. I believe it's quite straight forward. Again many folk may decline it, my point again is it is other people's money, donated to urgently help a child in need and they may wish to redirect that money rather than wait it out and see what eventually happens with it.

Olgivy · Sep 15, 2021

I have to laugh at all of the people on this thread who are getting all bent out of shape because someone thinks differently to them.
How can you expect 7 billion people on this planet to have the same opinion as you? Crazy talk now.
You are on an opinion site. Don’t like opinions? Don’t read comments. Don’t post here. Eat chocolate. There. All will be well.

getmeoutofhere · Sep 15, 2021

geeforthetea said:
Not really I've heard of people offering refunds from go fund me before. I believe it's quite straight forward. Again many folk may decline it, my point again is it is other people's money, donated to urgently help a child in need and they may wish to redirect that money rather than wait it out and see what eventually happens with it.

There was 116,000 donators according to the page. You expect gofundme or ash and Saf to contact each one and ask if they want a refund, wait for a reply and then find the exact transaction and send it back? You are going to be quicker waiting for them to use it through the foundation.

At the very least they have got thousands of people more than usual on stem cell registers which no doubt will he already having an impact. I cannot stand Ashley but people obsessing about getting their tenner back is just strange. There will be sick kids in the coming months that will need money too, they aren’t going to be able to help every single one unfortunately.

ultimately they are two people. Grieving people trying to find their way through grief AND do some good.

I do still think Ashley is a dick however

Influenced · Sep 15, 2021

chocdip said:
Few pointers I don’t agree with regarding the new Ash fans.

Your saying their mortgage could already be paid off… it’s not Ashley’s words he still has a mortgage to pay for! Fact

Your saying they could have had savings, no Ashley said he sold his car and all of his belongings to raise money for Azaylia so why didn’t he donate it to the go fund me! Fact

He also said he had a shit car after selling his, this was a lie because only last month did he say goodbye to his brand new white BMW! Where was the shit car ? Fact

He said he spent his savings on a hotel and food while Azaylia was in hospital, ok this bit is true (ish) but let me tell you. For a start most of not all their food/coffee was free. The hotel you do know Birmingham children’s hospital offer families the Ronald McDonald charity house! Fact

You do realise they chose to stay at the £250 a night hotel with a gym not the £39 a night premier inn down the road! Fact

So let’s not all pretend he’s god

Wow, this is all really petty.

geeforthetea · Sep 15, 2021

getmeoutofhere said:
There was 116,000 donators according to the page. You expect gofundme or ash and Saf to contact each one and ask if they want a refund, wait for a reply and then find the exact transaction and send it back? You are going to be quicker waiting for them to use it through the foundation.

At the very least they have got thousands of people more than usual on stem cell registers which no doubt will he already having an impact. I cannot stand Ashley but people obsessing about getting their tenner back is just strange. There will be sick kids in the coming months that will need money too, they aren’t going to be able to help every single one unfortunately.

ultimately they are two people. Grieving people trying to find their way through grief AND do some good.

I do still think Ashley is a dick however

Honestly I think just think giving people the option would have went a long way, I know they did a brief update on the page but I'm sure there is an option to send a blanket email to all donors to explain where the money is going and stating if you want a refund to contact them. I'm sure people wouldn't have bothered. At the end of the day it's a lot of money, you have to be accountable. I think it was people being told that the money was being used for the funeral, then seeing how extravagant that was that first started some people questioning how their money was spent in that instance. I guess time will tell how much the foundation will donate to treatments. This is just pure personal opinion and I don't expect anyone to agree with me but I just think at that moment in time some poor child somewhere was needing that £ 1 million for treatment and would probably never get it, I'd have like to to have went to them or even a few kids needed a a few hundred thousands of pounds to get the treatment they needed, unfortunately they might not have time to wait for the foundation to start up. Again communication could have been sent out to donors in that instance as well, and is still going towards what people donated for in the first place, urgent lifesaving treatment, I stress urgent. Ashley could have donated the money and still set up the foundation separately without ring fencing those donation. Again just my opinion totally get folk wont agree .

Emzykins · Sep 15, 2021

Noonoosanne2 said:
To just run my home, just a normal 2 bedded family home, with the basics of mortgage, council tax, water, gas, electricity, food shop and our internet and mobiles we pay between £1700 - £1800 a month that’s without other bills so just the basics are £20k + a year. That’s a lot of money an I would definitely be worrying if I hadn’t worked for over a year so I can see where people come from wondering how they get by

They must be struggling, especially after his "earning pennies" post yesterday. I imagine they are living off of savings or something.

Noonoosanne2 · Sep 15, 2021

Emzykins said:
They must be struggling, especially after his "earning pennies" post yesterday. I imagine they are living off of savings or something.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they are and it’s nothing to be ashamed of if they are and totally understandable, a lot of people have struggled over the last 18 months. Also it’s been mentioned he sold his clothes on here but he didn’t he showed a story oh himself with racks of clothes that he said he was giving away to people which was a nice gesture

mrslh · Sep 15, 2021

Heretoread19 said:
No, that is where you are wrong.
They broke lockdown rules to have her party. I'm not saying funeral because it wasn't.

My son died just before Azaylia and we had 30 people at his funeral with just myself, my husband and my family afterwards for some sandwiches. We literally sat around in silence most of the afternoon.
I didn't want to dance and sing whilst mourning my son. Celebrate him yes, but we have many other ways to do that.

The whole funeral didn't sit right with me.

just because you didn’t want those things does not make them bad for wanting different . My partners family are mixed race and at funerals they also have a party why not . Your celebrating your daughters life . completely down to them what they do for they’re daughters funeral !

Olgivy · Sep 15, 2021

They aren’t struggling financially. Whoever made the point about a £250 a night hotel room vs £39 Premier inn or Travel lodge makes a valid point. If it was purely charitable reasons for setting up the foundation, and you didn’t “have any access to the 1.6M” you wouldn’t want to stay in a £250 a night hotel. You would stay in travel lodge only, at every single location you cycled to. I’ve never begrudged them taking a salary, they need to eat at the end of the day. But I’ll reserve my judgement for a few more months, it’s early days. The problem here, is people who donated to Ash & Saf will be empathetic up until a point. No one would begrudge a grieving mother a spa trip, but if there now becomes a pattern of low key begging for restaurant meals, and spa trips at every single cycling expedition, more people will start changing their tune. Just wait.

Heretoread19 · Sep 15, 2021

mrslh said:
just because you didn’t want those things does not make them bad for wanting different . My partners family are mixed race and at funerals they also have a party why not . Your celebrating your daughters life . completely down to them what they do for they’re daughters funeral !

I get that but there were lockdown rules in place too.
How disrespectful do you think that was to someone like me that couldn't even have a gathering of people if I wanted to?

Some of the people there didn't look comfortable...

Notredamn · Sep 15, 2021

More people who think they should be able to get a refund because the child they feel they invested into, went and died. Said without a hint of irony or shame.
Others thinking because they made a charitable donation, it entitled them to know the full ins and outs of family finances. Be interesting to know if they even donated but I know the answer. Black hearts like that don't do charity.

Noonoosanne2 · Sep 15, 2021

Just think if everything was done behind closed doors and not everything was plastered so publicly over social media nobody would be any of the wiser and nobody could comment or pass judgement, not everything needs to shown

getmeoutofhere · Sep 15, 2021

geeforthetea said:
Honestly I think just think giving people the option would have went a long way, I know they did a brief update on the page but I'm sure there is an option to send a blanket email to all donors to explain where the money is going and stating if you want a refund to contact them. I'm sure people wouldn't have bothered. At the end of the day it's a lot of money, you have to be accountable. I think it was people being told that the money was being used for the funeral, then seeing how extravagant that was that first started some people questioning how their money was spent in that instance. I guess time will tell how much the foundation will donate to treatments. This is just pure personal opinion and I don't expect anyone to agree with me but I just think at that moment in time some poor child somewhere was needing that £ 1 million for treatment and would probably never get it, I'd have like to to have went to them or even a few kids needed a a few hundred thousands of pounds to get the treatment they needed, unfortunately they might not have time to wait for the foundation to start up. Again communication could have been sent out to donors in that instance as well, and is still going towards what people donated for in the first place, urgent lifesaving treatment, I stress urgent. Ashley could have donated the money and still set up the foundation separately without ring fencing those donation. Again just my opinion totally get folk wont agree .

I do get where people are coming from and of course entitled to their opinions and agree a statement of some sort addressing some plans might have helped. We have to remember they are still grieving though

getting the foundation set up ASAP is paramount in it being a success in my opinion whilst Azaylia is the forefront of people’s minds because once another high profile sick child comes along people will be donating to that. It’s just the way these things work. The foundation needs to be kept in people’s minds and promoted.

Yes they could give a million to one child now but there is always going to be another child later down the line if the money is gone and the foundation didn’t make more, what then? Setting up the foundation and trying to get regular funds flowing in will ultimately help more children in the long run than maybe just a couple of handful immediately

mrslh · Sep 15, 2021

I think we can all agree to disagree . Comments on here saying those who disagree are “ fans “ and calling others trolls are wrong . Please show me when someone has called people trolls ….

this is a good thread nobody Are fans of them here . Some just disagree with others and that’s fine . Ashley is a complete twat but he definitely is not doing all this to profit for himself . I do think a lot will come from azaylias charity and help other families , unfortunately treatmeant is so exspensive that the funds they have won’t possibly save many children I believe that’s why he’s doing the bike ride to raise more money and awareness . How they celebrated they’re daughters life at the funeral is nobody’s business . It may be over the top to some people and others may have been happier having food at home and not having a party afterwards that’s also fine but also understand not everybody wants a low key funeral . When my Cousin died we had a party after and bloons and all wore purple because she loved purple she had horses and doves and we all celebrated her life afterwards so does that make us bad people aswell . Absolutely not . I don’t think judging people based on a funeral is ok at all they did what they wanted for they’re daughter .

Ashley Cain #3

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