So its you doing all the running then?.If he was that bothered about seeing you, then he would give you money for petrol if that was the issue. It sound like you are making excuses for him. I still think you are wasting your time with him.
Argument with boyfriend- advice needed please
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My boyfriend does all the travelling to mine so I balance that out in other ways... I swear some people don't know what a healthy relationship is and it makes me sad
I think thats fine if it balances out in other ways. Everyones relationship is different however....
OP always goes to his.
Travels there and partner refuses to go out as must watch F1 live. What the hell? Is he a child?
If the OP was fully happy with all of this the thread would never have been made. We're outsiders and can only go on the information provided and Im not in the dump him category but from what Ive read I wouldnt be overly happy.
In the beginning of a relationship of any Ive ever had you cannot wait to see each other. In this instance when you cant see each other loads because of other valid commitments youd put your emails away in a restaurant and record the F1. Its just rude and to me red flags/concerning.
The OP doesn’t have a healthy relationship. That much is obvious. I think calling it a relationship is a bit of a leap actually- they are casually dating/seeing each other. They aren’t in a full
Blown relationship.
You've been together 2 years yet you feel uncomfortable about him being in your home. Isn't that a red flag? You can't have the shadow of your ex hanging over you. At some point you'll both move on with new partners. He's also probably gotten used to you making all of the effort in driving to see him. Sorry but it sounds like he's walking all over you.
He has offered to give me petrol money but I don't want to take it. The house should be sorted by January and then he can come to mine - but this thread wasn't about that. Anyway, thanks for your comments. I'll update how the weekend away goes if anyone is interested
Let’s re-cap
you’ve been “in a relationship” for 2 years but
- He’s never been to your home
- You always drive 90 minutes to his which based on what you’ve posted seems to be an issue for you because of the price of petrol
- He’s never met your children
- you don’t see eachother regularly
- he would rather sit in and watch cars driving round a track than take you out on the rare occasion he does see you (I notice you didn’t answer the question someone asked regarding if you slept with him that night, the answer to that question would have been very telling)
- he’s made you feel tit regarding your birthday weekend because he’s thrown back in your face that HE has organised everything etc
- now he’s trying to wriggle out of said birthday weekend because he’s all of a sudden got a work conference he just had to attend
you’ve been “in a relationship” for 2 years but
- He’s never been to your home
- You always drive 90 minutes to his which based on what you’ve posted seems to be an issue for you because of the price of petrol
- He’s never met your children
- you don’t see eachother regularly
- he would rather sit in and watch cars driving round a track than take you out on the rare occasion he does see you (I notice you didn’t answer the question someone asked regarding if you slept with him that night, the answer to that question would have been very telling)
- he’s made you feel tit regarding your birthday weekend because he’s thrown back in your face that HE has organised everything etc
- now he’s trying to wriggle out of said birthday weekend because he’s all of a sudden got a work conference he just had to attend
- He’s never been to your home
* this is my decision because it's still jointly owned by my ex
- You always drive 90 minutes to his which based on what you’ve posted seems to be an issue for you because of the price of petrol
* he has offered to give me money towards the cost of this but I refuse to accept it
- He’s never met your children
* he has asked to meet them but I am reluctant to introduce him to them until stuff with my ex (the house) has been sorted - should be in Jan
- you don’t see eachother regularly
* we work around when my ex has the kids
- he would rather sit in and watch cars driving round a track than take you out on the rare occasion he does see you (I notice you didn’t answer the question someone asked regarding if you slept with him that night, the answer to that question would have been very telling)
* no we didn't sleep together that night
- he’s made you feel tit regarding your birthday weekend because he’s thrown back in your face that HE has organised everything etc
* yes agreed
- now he’s trying to wriggle out of said birthday weekend because he’s all of a sudden got a work conference he just had to attend
* he is no longer thinking of going and is happy to still be sticking to our original plans for the weekend
I don't feel there is anything more to discuss until the weekend itself - but thanks for your input
* this is my decision because it's still jointly owned by my ex
- You always drive 90 minutes to his which based on what you’ve posted seems to be an issue for you because of the price of petrol
* he has offered to give me money towards the cost of this but I refuse to accept it
- He’s never met your children
* he has asked to meet them but I am reluctant to introduce him to them until stuff with my ex (the house) has been sorted - should be in Jan
- you don’t see eachother regularly
* we work around when my ex has the kids
- he would rather sit in and watch cars driving round a track than take you out on the rare occasion he does see you (I notice you didn’t answer the question someone asked regarding if you slept with him that night, the answer to that question would have been very telling)
* no we didn't sleep together that night
- he’s made you feel tit regarding your birthday weekend because he’s thrown back in your face that HE has organised everything etc
* yes agreed
- now he’s trying to wriggle out of said birthday weekend because he’s all of a sudden got a work conference he just had to attend
* he is no longer thinking of going and is happy to still be sticking to our original plans for the weekend
I don't feel there is anything more to discuss until the weekend itself - but thanks for your input
You EX sure has an awful lot of influence in your life….!
He should go to the work thing, its good for his career and if he says no now, maybe next time his manager doesnt even bother to ask him. Would be stupid for him to not go.
If someone is really properly into you then nothing is too much trouble, they put you first and are attentive and thoughtful. They don't act in a very ignorant way. I'd say he just isn't that into you. I'd have told him to duck off a long time ago.
Honestly this is like talking to a brick wall I fear - anything we say is just going to be met with another round of excuses and chat about the ex….
Don' t piss the OP off too much, or we'll never know how the weekend turned out! But seriously OP, I hope you have a nice weekend.
i'm curious as to why you refuse to accept this? you're taking time out of your day, making the effort to drive to him, can't you split fuel costs? it's equal. you both want to see each other, so why can't he pay sometimes? i don't think there's anything wrong with having money off him for this. it's for his benefit as well if he really wants to see you!! don't let him reap the benefits of not having to move an inch while you're making the long, probably tiring drive
Yes it’ll be like the birthday party thread where they disappeared for ages and we made our own endings to it
Really though OP I hope you have a nice birthday too. I can personally promise not to ask whether you had sex or who paid for the petrol
I’d have been out of there when he binned off date night to watch cars drive round in circles
Curious, when you do actually go on dates, who pays? Does he at least treat you to dinner or drinks?
Probably can’t go on dates or out for dinner yet mate - yknow, because of the EX. Have to wait until January that!