Can someone tell me if I am being unreasonable here.
It’s my birthday in 2 weeks, and since August my boyfriend and I have had a long weekend city break away booked (Thursday-Monday). We’ve made plans as to what we’re doing on each of the days and I was really excited for it. (It might be worth mentioning my boyfriend and I don’t live together and don’t get to see each other on a regular basis). We have been together for 2 years.
Yesterday my boyfriend told me that his manager has asked him to attend a conference in Switzerland which would overlap with our weekend away. He would have to leave on the Sunday as it starts on the Monday. He said he was considering going but hadn’t fully made up his mind and wanted to talk to me about it. His reasons for wanting to go are that it would be good for him to be mixing with the senior people in the business and would be good exposure for him and he would learn things at the conference, etc. Which I do understand. But I explained very clearly I was unhappy with the fact it would overlap on our weekend away and that it was my birthday and I felt a bit hurt he was even considering it, especially as we don’t get a huge amount of time together as it is. And he said that I’m being selfish and childish making it all about me and that I’m in my 30’s and I shouldn’t be so fussed about a birthday. Also that he is the one who booked the air b’n’b and would be doing the driving and that he has planned what restaurants, etc we would be going to so I have no right to be annoyed with him, and that in actual fact he should be annoyed with me because I’ve not done anything at all to prepare for this trip (but I’ve always made it clear I was really excited to go and that I’ve been really looking forward to it and have always shown appreciation for him arranging things when he has told me he’s booked a restaurant or an activity).
He said he could maybe fly out first thing on Monday morning as opposed to flying on Sunday, but even then I just know the fact he’s going to this conference will overshadow the entire weekend away. He will definitely be doing a lot of prep work for it because that’s just what’s he’s like. When we went abroad in the summer together we were in a lovely restaurant with gorgeous surroundings and he was sat there oblivious responding to work emails on his phone and complaining about work related matters. We took a trip to the coast earlier in the year and he bought his laptop with him and was doing bits of work during the evening (despite him promising me he wouldn’t).
He’s making me out to feel like I’m crazy and unreasonable and I don’t know what to think. I know his job is important to him and I know what it entails (we work at the same company but different departments). But equally I don’t think it’s outrageous of me to expect my boyfriend to actually make the most of the time off we have together, especially when it’s my birthday.
It’s my birthday in 2 weeks, and since August my boyfriend and I have had a long weekend city break away booked (Thursday-Monday). We’ve made plans as to what we’re doing on each of the days and I was really excited for it. (It might be worth mentioning my boyfriend and I don’t live together and don’t get to see each other on a regular basis). We have been together for 2 years.
Yesterday my boyfriend told me that his manager has asked him to attend a conference in Switzerland which would overlap with our weekend away. He would have to leave on the Sunday as it starts on the Monday. He said he was considering going but hadn’t fully made up his mind and wanted to talk to me about it. His reasons for wanting to go are that it would be good for him to be mixing with the senior people in the business and would be good exposure for him and he would learn things at the conference, etc. Which I do understand. But I explained very clearly I was unhappy with the fact it would overlap on our weekend away and that it was my birthday and I felt a bit hurt he was even considering it, especially as we don’t get a huge amount of time together as it is. And he said that I’m being selfish and childish making it all about me and that I’m in my 30’s and I shouldn’t be so fussed about a birthday. Also that he is the one who booked the air b’n’b and would be doing the driving and that he has planned what restaurants, etc we would be going to so I have no right to be annoyed with him, and that in actual fact he should be annoyed with me because I’ve not done anything at all to prepare for this trip (but I’ve always made it clear I was really excited to go and that I’ve been really looking forward to it and have always shown appreciation for him arranging things when he has told me he’s booked a restaurant or an activity).
He said he could maybe fly out first thing on Monday morning as opposed to flying on Sunday, but even then I just know the fact he’s going to this conference will overshadow the entire weekend away. He will definitely be doing a lot of prep work for it because that’s just what’s he’s like. When we went abroad in the summer together we were in a lovely restaurant with gorgeous surroundings and he was sat there oblivious responding to work emails on his phone and complaining about work related matters. We took a trip to the coast earlier in the year and he bought his laptop with him and was doing bits of work during the evening (despite him promising me he wouldn’t).
He’s making me out to feel like I’m crazy and unreasonable and I don’t know what to think. I know his job is important to him and I know what it entails (we work at the same company but different departments). But equally I don’t think it’s outrageous of me to expect my boyfriend to actually make the most of the time off we have together, especially when it’s my birthday.
