Aww thank you. I have ended it with him. I got the usually trying to turn it in me, wasnt getting enough attention since the baby come along, etc, I'm sorry for trying to raise your son. Then got it out of him that she knew about me all along. I'm just trying to work things out for myself and baby as hes adamant hes not leaving x
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Stay strong. God I am crying and I have had no Wine yet. Sending you so much love. x
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The cheeky bastard, can you ring Womens Aid for some advise or see a solicitor? I think you need some proper advise.X.
Surely he’s the one who’s done the dirty and your the one who’s going to be looking after your son so he should go?
also he clearly has somewhere else to go so why she he expect you to.
Stand your ground and stay strong, you’ve done the hard part
also he clearly has somewhere else to go so why she he expect you to.
Stand your ground and stay strong, you’ve done the hard part
Thank you. I'm definitely standing my ground no chance hes working his way back in. I will give them a call tomorrow x
How old is your baby? If he's been with this woman 2 years then surely it was before you had a baby so it's not like you weren't giving him attention the first year? Also, bit hard to give him any attention if he works away all week and every other weekend? Is he still working or is he at home during lockdown? If he's still working and works away then just tell him to go and live with the other woman.
Hes one next week. He's on lockdown, I've told him to go move in with her, he wont leave. I'm laughing at the stuff he is telling me, he needs to take his head for a serious wobble x
@Dollydiamond85 Sounds like he cannot move in with her because maybe she has another partner/kids/parents that she lives with? Please get legal advice on this asap.
And I am sorry you are going through this, but glad you are getting out of it. You can do this.
And I am sorry you are going through this, but glad you are getting out of it. You can do this.
Just caught up with your story. I'm so sorry for you. What a piece of work. He needs to get in the bin. Stay strong honey you got this xxx
It's good that your remaining so strong and firm and not being sucked in to what he is saying.
You and your boy deserve better.
I believe that lots of folks will split up due to all this CV and especially couples with no money and young kids who aren’t in nursery or school, can you imagine how that would go?!
I have been in your situ with no sex, we wTrent married but we were as good as, once the sex goes (when your ancient and dried up
)then it’s done imo.
I left a relationship of 7 years on the 26th of December 2019. We weren't married and didnt have kids but were literally one signature away from buying a house. The sale was agreed. Everything was done. Only for our Solicitor taking early holidays for Christmas I would have been committed to a mortgage with this guy.
The final straw after years of putting up with him was getting a call from him on Christmas Day listing 6 points of how I needed to change (clean the house more, be more focused on him than my family etc) and then he finished this rant with telling me he had met up with his ex girlfriend and planned to meet up with her again. This girl among the many that I had discovered him to be text flirting with in the early days of our relationship.
He was unemployed for a lot of our relationship and I would come home from work everyday to find him sitting on the couch playing xbox - the dog would be absolutely bouncing off the walls because she hadnt been walked. Everytime I put my key in the door after a days work I felt as though I was about to start a nightmare shift.
Reading all of the comments on this thread has just shown me how happy I am that I left him and everything else behind. I took the dog, my personal documents and clothes and never went back. As scary as it is to be 31 and now not sure if I will get to have kids or meet someone else I am so so happy I didnt stay with him.
As cliche as it is you are so much better off on your own than with someone who makes you not like yourself. I could not imagine being stuck with my ex during this lockdown period and my heart goes out to all of you that are in that situation.
I think everyone here needs to hear that you can manage on your own. You already are managing on your own. Just imagine how much easier it will be without the dead weight in the relationship constantly dragging you down, making you question yourself, thinking you are the problem.... The sooner you leave an unhappy relationship the sooner life gets better xx
The final straw after years of putting up with him was getting a call from him on Christmas Day listing 6 points of how I needed to change (clean the house more, be more focused on him than my family etc) and then he finished this rant with telling me he had met up with his ex girlfriend and planned to meet up with her again. This girl among the many that I had discovered him to be text flirting with in the early days of our relationship.
He was unemployed for a lot of our relationship and I would come home from work everyday to find him sitting on the couch playing xbox - the dog would be absolutely bouncing off the walls because she hadnt been walked. Everytime I put my key in the door after a days work I felt as though I was about to start a nightmare shift.
Reading all of the comments on this thread has just shown me how happy I am that I left him and everything else behind. I took the dog, my personal documents and clothes and never went back. As scary as it is to be 31 and now not sure if I will get to have kids or meet someone else I am so so happy I didnt stay with him.
As cliche as it is you are so much better off on your own than with someone who makes you not like yourself. I could not imagine being stuck with my ex during this lockdown period and my heart goes out to all of you that are in that situation.
I think everyone here needs to hear that you can manage on your own. You already are managing on your own. Just imagine how much easier it will be without the dead weight in the relationship constantly dragging you down, making you question yourself, thinking you are the problem.... The sooner you leave an unhappy relationship the sooner life gets better xx
This just brought back an awful memory!
Me and my husband have been together now for 14 years, married for 6. We brought our first house together in summer 2018 . I was working at a solicitors at the time dealing with property and there were so many purchases that fell through that I naturally felt quite anxious about my purchase. My husband didn't say anything until the day it completed. They let me finish work early to pick up the keys, and I met him at the new house. As I put the key in the door he blurted out that he thinks he has made a huge mistake buying this house with me as he doesn't love me anymore, that I was always worried about something and that I was not the person he married. That he had held it in since I was pregnant hoping it would get better. It was soooo awful. Our parents turned up shortly afterward to have a snoop and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife, but he said not to say anything.
After about a week of constant back and forth arguments about how this all came about, I noticed his phone was going off all the time and he said he was talking to his friends. I found out he was meeting two women for lunch every single day at work and going to cafes, parks, pubs etc but he never told me as he said he knew I would just be jealous. One day during these arguments he had skived off work and went to a country park with one of these women and didn't get home till midnight. Then he admitted that he wanted an open relationship as I was very prude and conservative (I totally am but I've been that way for the whole 14 years I've not changed) and he wanted to try new experiences with different types of women, and to be able to chat other women up without feeling guilty. When I said that the thought of it sickened me he said he could maybe do it, or visit paid women, and not tell me so that I wouldn't be upset about it!
We separated for a month but stayed in the house as we had literally just brought it and was moving in. We are now back together as I cannot face the prospect of not living with my little boy 24/7 as my husband said he would definitely fight for 50/50 contact at a minimum. I feel like a fool for staying and my friends and family make it clear I am one (and I lost my best friend in the process). So well done for all of these women who have the courage to start again!! I don't.
Omg thats awful! How can he put you through that, and your son? It wont be a happy home ffs!
.
Strewth!, its never too late to leave a bleep like this. A man I worked with, his Mum left her husband when she was in her 70s and she was pressured badly by the rest of the family to stay with him. She refused point blank and said that she wanted her half of the money tied up in the house to travel the world then go on yoga retreats etc and spent time with friends. She said there was no way she was being stuck with him any longer she hated him and wasnt going to look after him either!. She did leave. Could you go for therapy to help you work through things? your self esteem will be on the floor with him.
I’ve never posted on this website before but feel like I’m at my wits end and just looking for a bit of advice. Also, I apologise if this isn’t the best thread to be posting this on but it’s the closest I could find to my issue.
I don’t want to alarm family or friends by asking them for advice as it may be me overreacting, but I doubt it.
I have been with my partner (fiance) for nearly 7 years (no kids). I am 28 and he is 29. We own a house together (for the past 2 years) and one of the rooms (our meant to be dining room) is his gaming room. Allowing him to have a gaming room was the worst decision I’ve ever made. He works part time and is a key worker, so is still going to work 5 days a week although his job is anything but stressful. Once his job is done it’s done and he doesn’t have to think about it until the following day. I on the other hand work full time in quite a fast paced, demanding and stressful job and am currently working from home 4 days a week (full time hours, condensed into 4 days due to a medical issue). Anyway, my partner is coming in from work any time between 1-3pm and jumps straight on his PS4 and talks ‘online’ to his friends. I am upstairs in my office working which includes Microsoft Team meetings/conference calls and all I can hear is him talking absolute crap on his gaming and it drives me mad. I can honestly hear the grass grow so shutting doors etc doesn’t block out the sound. I asked him today if he could hold off going online on his PS4 until I’ve finished work and he went off on one, saying I’m being controlling. I asked him for a bit of respect but he just went back on his PS4. Am I being unreasonable?? Also, just to add I’m classed as vulnerable so have to shield for 3 months so I cannot even leave the house to go on a walk (to get a bit of head space) which is also driving me mad as I know me working from home will most likely go on for a long time.
On another note (sorry, this will be a long message), I am absolutely sick of his gaming. He is never off it, and I mean never. It’s actually gotten to the point we schedule each night what time he will come upstairs to watch tv with me. He’ll be like “will I come up at 9pm?” which makes it feel more like a chore (him having to spend time with me) as I know he’d rather be on his PS4. I know every couple needs their own space and time to enjoy their own interests/hobbies but we hardly ever spend any time together due to his gaming. Why should my life revolve around him and his gaming?!! He is 30 in August and it’s about time he grows up. I do tell him this and it causes A LOT of arguments. There are times it gets VERY heated and he becomes quite aggressive with name calling etc. His most recent insult is calling me a lazy witch/cow/ar**hole when I’m the one keeping the house going not just financially but with cleaning etc (I have cleaning OCD which also causes arguments - plus I’m anything but lazy). I am no angel myself and do shout back at him, I can give as good as I get although not every time as I don’t have the energy anymore as nothing is ever resolved (his gaming has wrongly became the new normal). He basically calls me controlling and says “would you rather I was in the pub each night?” - that’s always his comeback. Sometimes I wish he was in the pub as at least there is a closing time!! It feels like he is a child and I’m the adult and it shouldn’t be like this. I also feel like I cannot speak to him about this at times because all his friends can hear what we’re discussing (arguing) about as he has his headset on, and makes out to them that I’m a maniac when quite frankly it’s none of their business. Please tell me there are other women who have men like this? If so, what do/did you do?
I don’t want to alarm family or friends by asking them for advice as it may be me overreacting, but I doubt it.
I have been with my partner (fiance) for nearly 7 years (no kids). I am 28 and he is 29. We own a house together (for the past 2 years) and one of the rooms (our meant to be dining room) is his gaming room. Allowing him to have a gaming room was the worst decision I’ve ever made. He works part time and is a key worker, so is still going to work 5 days a week although his job is anything but stressful. Once his job is done it’s done and he doesn’t have to think about it until the following day. I on the other hand work full time in quite a fast paced, demanding and stressful job and am currently working from home 4 days a week (full time hours, condensed into 4 days due to a medical issue). Anyway, my partner is coming in from work any time between 1-3pm and jumps straight on his PS4 and talks ‘online’ to his friends. I am upstairs in my office working which includes Microsoft Team meetings/conference calls and all I can hear is him talking absolute crap on his gaming and it drives me mad. I can honestly hear the grass grow so shutting doors etc doesn’t block out the sound. I asked him today if he could hold off going online on his PS4 until I’ve finished work and he went off on one, saying I’m being controlling. I asked him for a bit of respect but he just went back on his PS4. Am I being unreasonable?? Also, just to add I’m classed as vulnerable so have to shield for 3 months so I cannot even leave the house to go on a walk (to get a bit of head space) which is also driving me mad as I know me working from home will most likely go on for a long time.
On another note (sorry, this will be a long message), I am absolutely sick of his gaming. He is never off it, and I mean never. It’s actually gotten to the point we schedule each night what time he will come upstairs to watch tv with me. He’ll be like “will I come up at 9pm?” which makes it feel more like a chore (him having to spend time with me) as I know he’d rather be on his PS4. I know every couple needs their own space and time to enjoy their own interests/hobbies but we hardly ever spend any time together due to his gaming. Why should my life revolve around him and his gaming?!! He is 30 in August and it’s about time he grows up. I do tell him this and it causes A LOT of arguments. There are times it gets VERY heated and he becomes quite aggressive with name calling etc. His most recent insult is calling me a lazy witch/cow/ar**hole when I’m the one keeping the house going not just financially but with cleaning etc (I have cleaning OCD which also causes arguments - plus I’m anything but lazy). I am no angel myself and do shout back at him, I can give as good as I get although not every time as I don’t have the energy anymore as nothing is ever resolved (his gaming has wrongly became the new normal). He basically calls me controlling and says “would you rather I was in the pub each night?” - that’s always his comeback. Sometimes I wish he was in the pub as at least there is a closing time!! It feels like he is a child and I’m the adult and it shouldn’t be like this. I also feel like I cannot speak to him about this at times because all his friends can hear what we’re discussing (arguing) about as he has his headset on, and makes out to them that I’m a maniac when quite frankly it’s none of their business. Please tell me there are other women who have men like this? If so, what do/did you do?
I didn't want to read and not reply this hasn't happened to me in regards to a partner but I would say he is becoming addicted to gaming and his online friends are maybe he sees as his real friends.
A hobby of gaming shouldn't cause arguments.
My son is 6 and I dont let him use computer games much of for long as I find it can completely change his behaviour.
I have two teenage sons who play on a playstation/xbox and it drives me mad as even with headphones on they shout so much and get aggressive with who they're playing with. They've gone from two kids who used to love been outside and one particularly sporty to just been obsessed with gaming and wanting to stay in. I've noticed a big personality change in my younger son since he started gaming.
However, I do find it odd that MEN are still gaming! I'm not sure I could cope if my husband was a gamer too! But there is always something about a partner that annoys us. Before we married, my husband didn't have much time for me due to a sport he played that took him around the country and I felt like he put that before me (he said he didn't). Once we bought a house together, I fell pregnant quite quickly (unplanned) and once our baby came along he was still going away most weekends and it pissed me off. We had huge arguments about it and I told him he was selfish and living his life like a single bloke and that he had a responsibility now and he needed to man up. He did give up his sport. For a while I felt that everytime we argued he would throw it in my face that I made him give it up but he didn't.
I think you're right in that your boyfriend needs to grow up. I would sit him down and explain how you feel and probably give him some kind of ultimatum.
I was with a guy like this for 7 years, we bought a house and the spare room was meant to be a dressing room/spare room but ended up as a games room. Including a ugly gaming chair he built himself (a real seat from a car). I felt like I was living on my own. He proposed thinking it was the right think to do.
I broke up with him 6 months later realising I couldn’t live with someone and feel on my own. He wouldn’t go for lunch, to the beach, leave the house as he’d rather play Xbox.
I was meant to get married September last year, instead I spent my first anniversary with my new boyfriend! If he’s being that inconsiderate and you feel he won’t change then you may be better with someone else more understanding. If you can talk it through that’s great but ultimately you have to do what’s best for you
(I’m 30 this year too and my ex is the same from what I’ve been told)
This sounds like a lot
. I’ll be honest - it sounds like he isn’t acting like a partner and instead acting like someone you have to parent (to a point). The fact that you’re WORKING and he’s playing yet distracting you by making loads of noise should not descend into an argument imo. It’s basic level of respect to listen to a partner and understand where they’re coming from (in this instance, keeping a roof over the games console!!! 
). As for the abuse etc - I don’t think you should tolerate this. It sounds like out and out emotional abuse. If it was me; I would question seriously whether the gaming etc is something I was willing to deal with long term and then go from there about deciding whether the relationship is worth working for 
. In my experience, online gaming only gets worse over time unless they make a concerted effort to manage time spent doing it.Thank you. I really appreciate your response. You’re right in everything you say and the fact you have a 6 year old that you monitor playing his computer games and notice too much of it can change his behaviour is such a good point. It does change their behaviour (although probably even more so in a grown man though). Thanks again