Anyone else planning on asking for divorce as soon lockdown is over?

[Begborrowsteal]

I need to let off steam. Last year after me being Sherlock Holmes I found out my husband had been texting / calling another female , he did work for this women and her then husband, apparently they used to talk about life , I had been distant due to depression etc and he could talk to her he says there was no physical attraction on his behalf I won’t get personal to her but I would find astounded if there was, she definitely had a thing for him. He promised he would cut contact a month later he was still talking to her I lost the plot slashed all his tyres, but then we started to build our marriage back up , again I’ve not been myself lately I’m missing my family and I’m lonely I live 200 miles from my children and parents, last night I saw this women was selling a car so something rang bells as it looked like one mu husband sold last year.. he buys and sells cars as a sideline so I messaged her on a fake Facebook asking about then asked her why she was selling and you will never believe it she said she had just brought this certain car and you’ve guessed it my husband has just sold the exact same car I confronted him he admitted they bumped into each other a while ago again and sort of kept in. Touch I hit the roof and told her who I was but she wouldn’t reply! His twisted things to be my fault I honestly don’t know what to do it’s killing me and I self harmed through stress last night

Oh, love I wish I knew what to say, I found hundreds of messages my partner had been sending too. Its brutal. Can you seek out some support for depression & the self harm?

 

[Deedee88]

I have lived with my boyfriend for 3 years, my dad died in January and he had the cheek to argue with me when I said I thought he should wear a suit rather than a jumper. Can’t forgive him, there is now no affection or anything at all between us.
I have asked him to let me buy him out as I work from home, my widowed mum is round the corner etc but now he is saying he wont let me he wants to sell..what can I do?!

 

[Suzesnooze]

I have lived with my boyfriend for 3 years, my dad died in January and he had the cheek to argue with me when I said I thought he should wear a suit rather than a jumper. Can’t forgive him, there is now no affection or anything at all between us.
I have asked him to let me buy him out as I work from home, my widowed mum is round the corner etc but now he is saying he wont let me he wants to sell..what can I do?!

That seems petty to want you to sell rather than you buy him out? If you have it valued and you give him half then he's not losing out is he?

 

[Deedee88]

That seems petty to want you to sell rather than you buy him out? If you have it valued and you give him half then he's not losing out is he?

Thats exactly what I’ve offered and he’s now acting like a 5 year old!
The whole 3 years we have lived here I have gone for every food shop, done every washing, washed every dish etc and if I ever asked him to help I was told to “stop moaning” now I finally feel I have had enough and this is what I’m getting

 

[Raininvain]

I have lived with my boyfriend for 3 years, my dad died in January and he had the cheek to argue with me when I said I thought he should wear a suit rather than a jumper. Can’t forgive him, there is now no affection or anything at all between us.
I have asked him to let me buy him out as I work from home, my widowed mum is round the corner etc but now he is saying he wont let me he wants to sell..what can I do?!

Just sell it to get rid of him and then get another place yourself. x He sounds an oaf, what man would wear a jumper at a funeral?...

I need to let off steam. Last year after me being Sherlock Holmes I found out my husband had been texting / calling another female , he did work for this women and her then husband, apparently they used to talk about life , I had been distant due to depression etc and he could talk to her he says there was no physical attraction on his behalf I won’t get personal to her but I would find astounded if there was, she definitely had a thing for him. He promised he would cut contact a month later he was still talking to her I lost the plot slashed all his tyres, but then we started to build our marriage back up , again I’ve not been myself lately I’m missing my family and I’m lonely I live 200 miles from my children and parents, last night I saw this women was selling a car so something rang bells as it looked like one mu husband sold last year.. he buys and sells cars as a sideline so I messaged her on a fake Facebook asking about then asked her why she was selling and you will never believe it she said she had just brought this certain car and you’ve guessed it my husband has just sold the exact same car I confronted him he admitted they bumped into each other a while ago again and sort of kept in. Touch I hit the roof and told her who I was but she wouldn’t reply! His twisted things to be my fault I honestly don’t know what to do it’s killing me and I self harmed through stress last night

Honestly I'd go to the Drs and get some medication to calm me down and get some space from him, either you go or ask him to go.You are going to end up in a right state at this rate. You dont want your health to suffer or to get in trouble with the Police. Its not worth it. Can you get some support from your family or a friend?

 

[Deedee88]

Just sell it to get rid of him and then get another place yourself. x He sounds an oaf, what man would wear a jumper at a funeral?...


Honestly I'd go to the Drs and get some medication to calm me down and get some space from him, either you go or ask him to go.You are going to end up in a right state at this rate. You dont want your health to suffer or to get in trouble with the Police. Its not worth it. Can you get some support from your family or a friend?

To your father in laws at that?! He now denies ever doing this also which tells you everything..

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Thats exactly what I’ve offered and he’s now acting like a 5 year old!
The whole 3 years we have lived here I have gone for every food shop, done every washing, washed every dish etc and if I ever asked him to help I was told to “stop moaning” now I finally feel I have had enough and this is what I’m getting

It boggles my mind that women put up with this tit. How is that a partner?! It’s more like the worst possible flat mate you had at uni ! It’s good to know you’ve realised your worth and have called it quits. Good luck with the house — he sounds immature enough to make the process as laborious as possible.

 

[Deedee88]

It boggles my mind that women put up with this tit. How is that a partner?! It’s more like the worst possible flat mate you had at uni ! It’s good to know you’ve realised your worth and have called it quits. Good luck with the house — he sounds immature enough to make the process as laborious as possible.

Thank you, I’m so glad its not just me going mad! X

 

[Sabbie]

Thank you, I’m so glad its not just me going mad! X

Seek some legal advice about it before caving and agreeing to what he wants. You should absolutely have the right to buy him out. He'd get more money that way too.

 

[Deedee88]

Seek some legal advice about it before caving and agreeing to what he wants. You should absolutely have the right to buy him out. He'd get more money that way too.

I absolutely do not want to give in to him, he keeps saying he has to agree to me buying him out but I have to agree to sell also so I might end up stuck here forever haha!
i also forgot he did sign the transfer of equity form but is now saying I forged his signature and its fraud and as I’m a mortgage advisor it could cost me my job...which I absolutely did not do!!

 

[Sabbie]

Wow. What an hole. Yes, I'd definitely get some legal advice. I am sure you know plenty of people who can help you through your job. Good luck and good riddance to THAT. Sorry you have to go through tit first, though.

 

[Raininvain]

Yes go and see a good solicitor this week and get rid of that utter tool. Being on your own is better than someone as clueless as him.

 

[Suzesnooze]

I absolutely do not want to give in to him, he keeps saying he has to agree to me buying him out but I have to agree to sell also so I might end up stuck here forever haha!
i also forgot he did sign the transfer of equity form but is now saying I forged his signature and its fraud and as I’m a mortgage advisor it could cost me my job...which I absolutely did not do!!

It sounds like he's trying to create obstacles and delay you leaving him.

 

[Deedee88]

It sounds like he's trying to create obstacles and delay you leaving him.

I kind of thought this because he says he has somewhere else to live sorted..but won’t move out. He also says though once this is done he will be so much happier because its been so bad for a long time must be terrible getting everything done for you and not having to lift a finger!

 

[Suzesnooze]

I kind of thought this because he says he has somewhere else to live sorted..but won’t move out. He also says though once this is done he will be so much happier because its been so bad for a long time must be terrible getting everything done for you and not having to lift a finger!

His pride is probably hurt that you're the one to want to end it so that's his pride talking trying to make out he doesn't care and then throwing obstacles in your way but he's not exactly endearing himself to you by how he's acting or the things he's saying. Typical man!

 

[Caramel Latte]

Hey so it’s tik toks of other girls saved, porn videos and random girls just as selfies. The porn whatever I can deal with it’s the personal level of having random girls tik toks and photos on his camera roll. Not sure if I am being silly or not :/

Even if others would be okay with it doesn't mean u have to feel the same. If it's affecting you and your relationship then ofc you're not being silly.

 

[Justbehonest]

Could have written this post myself... I just dont know what to do. I have been with my husband for 15 years in august and I just feel like were two friends living together now. We haven't had sex in around 18 months and I know this as it was when we conceived our 2nd daughter... he makes 0 effort with me.

I dont even feel like he wants to be with me anymore and the arguing between us is just crazy...

The whole thing bloody terrifies me

Could’ve written this too Bex We’ve lived overseas for 8 years and don’t know what to do as leaving would mean taking the children away from their dad. As a mum I want to chose their happiness over my own but the thought of this just being ‘it’ for the next 40 years saddens me.
Sending love to all you ladies struggling just now x

 

[Raininvain]

Could’ve written this too Bex We’ve lived overseas for 8 years and don’t know what to do as leaving would mean taking the children away from their dad. As a mum I want to chose their happiness over my own but the thought of this just being ‘it’ for the next 40 years saddens me.
Sending love to all you ladies struggling just now x

You need to think about yourself as well, your life matters, theres flights he can get to see the kids if you come back here.Can you have some type of shared care arrangement with the kids?

 

[Justbehonest]

You need to think about yourself as well, your life matters, theres flights he can get to see the kids if you come back here.Can you have some type of shared care arrangement with the kids?

Thanks for replying
I think he’d be amicable in terms of the children, he really hasn’t been the best husband for the last few years (he cheated a couple of years ago and I found out 18 months ago).
I just worry so much that I’ll mess my children up by taking them away from their dad. I don’t want them to resent me but I don’t want to be miserable with him x

 

[Lurker4751]

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to check in on you all and update you on my situation... I mentioned earlier in this thread that I felt the same way as the OP... And I left my boyfriend!!!! A month ago I moved across the country to a new home, got myself a new job with a promotion and honestly couldn't be happier! To every one of you thinking you can't do this... YOU CAN! I did it, broke up during lockdown and made it to the other side and you guys can too