I'm sorry you are going through this you need to leave him. If it was me I'd be out pof the door now. Can you ring you parents and go there? if you don't want to then ring womens aid for some support and help. You shouldn't have to put up with this.I don't know why I'm writing this I'm just fed up. Been with my partner 8 years. No proposal or kids.
For some reason, he's increasingly become 'aggressive' and I write it like that because in no way (I think, anyway) he means it on an aggressive part. Mostly is just him trying to mess about. Which I know sounds ridiculous I'm complaining about this when there is so much domestic violence happening, but please bear with me.
So he started this thing of just slapping me round the face for no reason. Sometimes it's hard (not full on slap) sometimes it's just a touch of the face. He also comes up behind me too aggressively and sometimes I don't like it if I'm in the middle of doing something like sorting the dishwasher out or something. And he would be groping me and slapping my bum, but not in a nice way in a real hard aggressive way that I simply just don't like. No matter how much I tell him I don't like it, or it hurts he carries on. It literally feels sometimes like he's going to pull my boob off. It makes me feel uncomfortable when I can't get out of his grip. The slapping we started off as a joke thing but now it just seems constant. So far he's done it 3 times and it's 11am.
We argued real bad about this a few weeks ago. I asked him if there's any reason he has all this pent up aggression. He said he didn't realise how he was being and thinks lockdown has got to him a bit. Fast forward to now it's just the same. I'm fed up with it. I am a bit of a wimp too and have a low pain threshold so sometimes it just hurts. It has got worse since lockdown began. Maybe he's bored, frustrated I don't know.
I feel ridiculous sometimes complaining about this, he's not a bad person or aggressive natured. I just can't fathom why he's started being over the top, but my problem is he just won't stop it. I don't think he intentionally wants to hurt me. When we argued I said I was feeling a little neglected as most the contact we has was him'messing' about grabbing me and doing whatever, and I was missing the lovey hugs from behind,the unexpected little hugs and kisses. Doesn't seem to have taken what I said on board and respected that.
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I'm sorry you are going through this you need to leave him. If it was me I'd be out pof the door now. Can you ring you parents and go there? if you don't want to then ring womens aid for some support and help. You shouldn't have to put up with this.
Please don’t play down what is happening. Your boundaries are being violated in horrendous ways and it sounds like it’s escalating. I am concerned for you. Is there somewhere safe you can go?
Yes, I can go to my friends or sisters if needed.
Please pack a bag and go. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.
Don’t feel ridiculous this is totally out of order. It’s out of order anyway and the fact you’ve clearly told him you don’t like it is disgraceful. There’s no excuse for it, if you don’t want him doing it he shouldn’t be.
don’t ever put the blame onto yourself with low pain threshold etc
Please please don't except this kind of behaviour even if you think others are 'worse off'. It doesn't matter--you aren't happy and that's what matters in this situation. From personal experience, if he hasn't immediately modified his behaviour when you've told him you don't like it it will only get worse. My ex -( posted above) started with this kind of thing, it then esculated to the point he got angry and punched the headboard and broke his hand. He then ended up punching the wall next to my head. These are early signs that things aren't right, and I really hope you don't make the same mistake I did and put up with it until it gets worse. Pack a bag and get out. You are worth so much more. Big hugs, we are here if you need someone anonymous to talk to xxx
Leave. Please. As soon as you can xxx
Please leave. You partner should not think sexually assaulting you is ok. Slapping you is not ok. If there is anyone you can go to stay with please go
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Just grab a few things and go now. Your not even married to him or have kids so it will be a lot easier to get rid of him for good.I'd just say I was off to the shop or supermarket and then go. I wouldnt announce you were leaving him if its just you and him as he might get violent as hes violent anyway.
Sorry you are going through this! Can I just tell you that 35 is so not old to start dating and do it all again! I’d met complete douche bags my whole life. Was so jealous of others being happy and having children. When my cousin who is 10 years younger than me got Married and pregnant (and said she wanted to get married young because she didn’t want to end up like me) I had some sort of breakdown. I changed my whole mindset. Anyway At the age of 38 I met a man who was so not my usual type! Went on our second date to confirmhe wasn’t for me but ended up having a lovely time! 9 months later I was pregnant, had her 8 weeks before I was 40, she’s nearly 2 and we got engaged 2 weeks ago! You are never to old to be happy! Xx
This behaviour is not okay and you are not a wimp! You've asked him to stop it and he's continuing to do it. It will get worse. If it was just messing around he would have been mortified he'd made you feel that way and would have stopped immediately. Instead he's carrying on and trying to test you to see if you'll put up with it. Don't. Tell him one final time that if he touches you this way again you will report him and you will leave.
Honestly though, I'd leave without saying anything, just incase he becomes even more violent
Honestly though, I'd leave without saying anything, just incase he becomes even more violent
How are you feeling about things now? Hope you're okay!
I’m gonna cut to the chase because this had made me so bleeping angry. Get rid of him now why you still have the chance. It’s going to get worse.
mum so glad you have said something even if it is on here. My blood is boiling for you. Get out and get someone who listens to you and treats you with respect. Your wasting your life away
I would like to clarify that I meant to write ‘I’m’ not ‘mum’I’m gonna cut to the chase because this had made me so bleeping angry. Get rid of him now why you still have the chance. It’s going to get worse.
mum so glad you have said something even if it is on here. My blood is boiling for you. Get out and get someone who listens to you and treats you with respect. Your wasting your life away
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You need to tell him that unless he bucks his ideas up your leaving him and mean it.Also really spell it out what your expectations are as well so he cant say he wasnt sure or didnt realize what he had to do. Write a list of chores that you expect the kids to do.If they all dont go to the supermarket then its simple, they dont eat. Tell him to buy headphones for the T.V, they all have a socket at the back. Your husband sounds a right pig.
You need to leave him as hard as it maybe and dont apologise because there is domestic violence going on because what he is doing is domestic violence.
The things he is doing are subtle things which have clearly impacted your emotional and mental health over a period of time.
Listen to someone who's been there and after 4 years and a 3 year old found the courage to leave an abuser. I like yourself never thought my partner would be aggressive and always apologised to him after he hurt me. But they get in to your head. Please leave him. You can start your life again and be happy.
The things he is doing are subtle things which have clearly impacted your emotional and mental health over a period of time.
Listen to someone who's been there and after 4 years and a 3 year old found the courage to leave an abuser. I like yourself never thought my partner would be aggressive and always apologised to him after he hurt me. But they get in to your head. Please leave him. You can start your life again and be happy.
I hope she’s ok
Thank you I'm okay.
I'm okay.