I’ve never posted on this website before but feel like I’m at my wits end and just looking for a bit of advice. Also, I apologise if this isn’t the best thread to be posting this on but it’s the closest I could find to my issue.
I don’t want to alarm family or friends by asking them for advice as it may be me overreacting, but I doubt it.
I have been with my partner (fiance) for nearly 7 years (no kids). I am 28 and he is 29. We own a house together (for the past 2 years) and one of the rooms (our meant to be dining room) is his gaming room. Allowing him to have a gaming room was the worst decision I’ve ever made. He works part time and is a key worker, so is still going to work 5 days a week although his job is anything but stressful. Once his job is done it’s done and he doesn’t have to think about it until the following day. I on the other hand work full time in quite a fast paced, demanding and stressful job and am currently working from home 4 days a week (full time hours, condensed into 4 days due to a medical issue). Anyway, my partner is coming in from work any time between 1-3pm and jumps straight on his PS4 and talks ‘online’ to his friends. I am upstairs in my office working which includes Microsoft Team meetings/conference calls and all I can hear is him talking absolute crap on his gaming and it drives me mad. I can honestly hear the grass grow so shutting doors etc doesn’t block out the sound. I asked him today if he could hold off going online on his PS4 until I’ve finished work and he went off on one, saying I’m being controlling. I asked him for a bit of respect but he just went back on his PS4. Am I being unreasonable?? Also, just to add I’m classed as vulnerable so have to shield for 3 months so I cannot even leave the house to go on a walk (to get a bit of head space) which is also driving me mad as I know me working from home will most likely go on for a long time.
On another note (sorry, this will be a long message), I am absolutely sick of his gaming. He is never off it, and I mean never. It’s actually gotten to the point we schedule each night what time he will come upstairs to watch tv with me. He’ll be like “will I come up at 9pm?” which makes it feel more like a chore (him having to spend time with me) as I know he’d rather be on his PS4. I know every couple needs their own space and time to enjoy their own interests/hobbies but we hardly ever spend any time together due to his gaming. Why should my life revolve around him and his gaming?!! He is 30 in August and it’s about time he grows up. I do tell him this and it causes A LOT of arguments. There are times it gets VERY heated and he becomes quite aggressive with name calling etc. His most recent insult is calling me a lazy witch/cow/ar**hole when I’m the one keeping the house going not just financially but with cleaning etc (I have cleaning OCD which also causes arguments - plus I’m anything but lazy). I am no angel myself and do shout back at him, I can give as good as I get although not every time as I don’t have the energy anymore as nothing is ever resolved (his gaming has wrongly became the new normal). He basically calls me controlling and says “would you rather I was in the pub each night?” - that’s always his comeback. Sometimes I wish he was in the pub as at least there is a closing time!! It feels like he is a child and I’m the adult and it shouldn’t be like this. I also feel like I cannot speak to him about this at times because all his friends can hear what we’re discussing (arguing) about as he has his headset on, and makes out to them that I’m a maniac when quite frankly it’s none of their business. Please tell me there are other women who have men like this? If so, what do/did you do?