I have an employee who won't deal with their mental health issues so we have to tread on eggshells all the time. Does the bare minimum as they can't cope with anything more that that. I've offered so much advice and bent over backwards for them. I'm drained.
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Yeah at some point they have to help themselves. You're not a professional service there to help them with their mental health problems.
I went through a tough time recently with various life events but am getting help for it. I told my manager and they were really supportive but I still feel bad that I am temporarily perhaps not as productive as I have been. I still try to pull my weight though and have covered at times parts of the team when they were going through hard times.
I get it, life sometimes throws a curveball and that's fine but when it seems unending and like the person doesn't want to help themselves it is tough on other team members.
I totally get it too. I'm really supportive to this person, more so than any other member of staff. I've spoke to them about getting counselling, medication, help etc....but they just say they don't want to go down that route. I personally don't think they should be in work. They are highly sensitive to things that are normal for everyone else. It's really affecting me.
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I'm glad you are getting help
Thank youI totally get it too. I'm really supportive to this person, more so than any other member of staff. I've spoke to them about getting counselling, medication, help etc....but they just say they don't want to go down that route. I personally don't think they should be in work. They are highly sensitive to things that are normal for everyone else. It's really affecting me.
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I'm glad you are getting help
. It just seems like the employee doesn't want to help themselves yet wants concessions at work which isn't fair on other people. Like you said, it can be draining if your suggestions are dismissed and they are having an effect on you at work now.
I used to work with someone who always did the absolute bare minimum and never helped the team out in terms of taking his turn to attend meetings or rotas. A colleague told me he’d had a tough time as his Dad had died so I accepted it. It turned out that was 20 years ago and he had never addressed his mental health, it had sort of become his personality.
I had a manager who was the female version. Never dealt with her father's death over 10 years earlier - it was a weird sort of limbo with her as in, yes, her father was dead but you got the impression that, if you never thought about it or spoke about it, then it might not be the case. The rest of of were walking on eggshells around the whole subject of death as she would, literally, take to her bed for a week because it was all too upsetting for her.
Not to belittle someone's issues but that is absolutely mindblowing. I have a whole host of deceased relatives, can I use that as an excuse to do duck all at work now?
I may sound like a cold-hearted cow but there are some coworkers who use mental health issues to draw attention and sympathy which can be so draining. It’s work environment and there is so much one can provide listening ear and emotional support to people who keep bringing up marriage woes and mental health battles but won’t follow up on advice to seek additional wellbeing support through the normal channels.
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I hate this time of year because you get a mix of colleagues who are already on their Christmas holidays in their head and can't be arsed to do anything, but also the opposite where others are working like mad to clear their inboxes and get as much done as they can before their leave.
Whereas I think you should just work as normal... that's what I do! If it doesn't get done before Christmas, no one's going to die.
Whereas I think you should just work as normal... that's what I do! If it doesn't get done before Christmas, no one's going to die.
Have a colleague who was demoted due to major issues. They cant fire him due to being terrified he will use him non national status and get them on that.
He is now supposed to be support but is so all over the place he flits from one thing to another and never finishes anything.
He ignores calls and emails.
I ended up getting backlash this morning as he hadnt come back to a client in days.
Now he is asking me why I do my job the way I do, because thats how its done was my answer. He has decided to go to his boss and see if we can change that.
Nothing to do with him but sticking his nose in.
If I were him I would focus more on actually doing his real job not a fictional one where he overseas everything. He has really annoyed me today.
He is now supposed to be support but is so all over the place he flits from one thing to another and never finishes anything.
He ignores calls and emails.
I ended up getting backlash this morning as he hadnt come back to a client in days.
Now he is asking me why I do my job the way I do, because thats how its done was my answer. He has decided to go to his boss and see if we can change that.
Nothing to do with him but sticking his nose in.
If I were him I would focus more on actually doing his real job not a fictional one where he overseas everything. He has really annoyed me today.
Thank you, this is really helpful advice
Getting a bit irritated with work at the moment.
Manager is very hot on the "check everyone's calendar to find a space and don't double book or overlap meetings, respect private appointments as these are probably medical/important". Fine, I am extra careful with it. I've got a meeting clearly labeled "private appointment" in my diary tomorrow and two separate team members including manager have booked a meeting that overlaps 15 mins at the start, then the other one the 15 mins at the end. It's also been assumed i'm on-site for one of these meetings (it's been specifically called out in an email "Oh, Kinder will be on site") when I clearly stated I am WFH fully this week.
I don't mind coming in but I am sick of the ad-hoc nature of it and being assumed last minute i'll be there. It's definitely not required that I work ad-hoc for business purposes, and they could just set me my two days to come in as the only real reason is to show our faces, but it seems they would rather blind-sight me at the last minute and now the train will cost a fortune (if I had known even as late as last week it's almost half the price). I can't even complain because they are so flexible with school runs and letting me out for an hour for stuff without putting it down as holidays (kids shows, parents evening etc) so I feel like a dick saying no, but at least give me some structure and warning?
Manager is very hot on the "check everyone's calendar to find a space and don't double book or overlap meetings, respect private appointments as these are probably medical/important". Fine, I am extra careful with it. I've got a meeting clearly labeled "private appointment" in my diary tomorrow and two separate team members including manager have booked a meeting that overlaps 15 mins at the start, then the other one the 15 mins at the end. It's also been assumed i'm on-site for one of these meetings (it's been specifically called out in an email "Oh, Kinder will be on site") when I clearly stated I am WFH fully this week.
I don't mind coming in but I am sick of the ad-hoc nature of it and being assumed last minute i'll be there. It's definitely not required that I work ad-hoc for business purposes, and they could just set me my two days to come in as the only real reason is to show our faces, but it seems they would rather blind-sight me at the last minute and now the train will cost a fortune (if I had known even as late as last week it's almost half the price). I can't even complain because they are so flexible with school runs and letting me out for an hour for stuff without putting it down as holidays (kids shows, parents evening etc) so I feel like a dick saying no, but at least give me some structure and warning?
If I were you, I’d decline both apps as clashing with a private app. Unless you are firm, they would assume you are always able to flex. The fact that work is flexible with you should not be too relevant as on the whole flexi goes both ways- I WFH and although my work are flexible, I’ve taken 0 special leave to take care of my child when she’s been poorly off school or sick leave when in the olden times I’d have called in sick so not to spread germs in the office.
The constant “gonna need you to start an hour early tomorrow / stay on late because someone else can’t make it” is starting to wear quite thin with barely half a day’s notice. We’ve all got bleeping plans, just some of us put in requests weeks ago (and don’t go out and get pissed and end up hungover “sick”).
December, eh? What a load of bollocks. Hate it.
December, eh? What a load of bollocks. Hate it.
That reminds me of a guy who works with a friend of mine. Apparently he's worked for the company for over 30 years. He was never much good, but he's gradually been "redeployed" (aka demoted) several times and is currently the lowest grade. I think they feel a bit sorry for him but he's also made a few comments about racism as a bit of a warning, so I think they're a bit scared of that.
He's in his 60s now and they're hoping he'll finally just retire. But like I said to my friend, why would he? He's getting a decent salary in a low stress job and knows they won't fire him regardless. He'll probably be there for at least another 10 years.
Absolutely this. Just say you can't make it as you have a previously scheduled appointment and (if you are joining partially) that you'll need to join online as you are WFH that week.
A director in work and I were emailing and he rang me to go through some points. I asked him a very basic question about something he emailed about. Answer was either Yes or No. He told me Yes. 20 mins later a colleague said he emailed her and said No.
We are accountants and this imapcts our budget.
This question has resulted so far in 4 different calls with 4 people and multiple emails. I suggested we all have a call tomorrow but this will be the 5th call on the matter which could have been avoided if the Director just did his job.
We are accountants and this imapcts our budget.
This question has resulted so far in 4 different calls with 4 people and multiple emails. I suggested we all have a call tomorrow but this will be the 5th call on the matter which could have been avoided if the Director just did his job.
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I started a new temp job a few weeks ago. I still need to be trained up on a few things but nothing seems to be overly overly complicated and I’m picking up the information and what I need to do fairly well once I have an opportunity to get stuck in
Problem is, I have gone through all of the work I can possibly do. Tasks pop up every day but I finish them within the hour if I try to be really really slow. I have asked to help others with their work as they seem to be struggling with their capacity but have basically been told it’s fine. The training for those tasks takes a couple of minutes at best
I’m just sick of it because there’s only so busy I can look. I feel bad complaining because I am getting paid to just sit there and answer some calls but also… I just don’t have the mental energy to do it for 6 hours a day. It’s not like I can watch Netflix on the side or play some game
The most annoying part is that the colleague then trained someone else to do the task, which I was very willing to help with in the morning, later in the afternoon
Problem is, I have gone through all of the work I can possibly do. Tasks pop up every day but I finish them within the hour if I try to be really really slow. I have asked to help others with their work as they seem to be struggling with their capacity but have basically been told it’s fine. The training for those tasks takes a couple of minutes at best
I’m just sick of it because there’s only so busy I can look. I feel bad complaining because I am getting paid to just sit there and answer some calls but also… I just don’t have the mental energy to do it for 6 hours a day. It’s not like I can watch Netflix on the side or play some game
The most annoying part is that the colleague then trained someone else to do the task, which I was very willing to help with in the morning, later in the afternoon
I work for myself, but on a couple of my clients, I work alongside a small agency.
Our biggest shared client has been complaining he's incredibly busy, stressed etc and so alleviate this, he's whipped the social media off of me, and given it to them 'so he only needs one meeting about it per week' and he assured me it wasn't a case of he was unhappy with my work.
I'm not going to lie, I took it pretty personally, and really re-examined everything I've done recently.
Shouldn't have bothered - they've AI'd everything and it's terrible. The content they're producing makes absolutely zero sense, it's corny and it's so obvious. The interaction rates and likes have also plummeted, which I've been looking at in twisted glee.
Urgh, it just makes me mad, as (quite rightly) that low bar wouldn't be ok from me.
Our biggest shared client has been complaining he's incredibly busy, stressed etc and so alleviate this, he's whipped the social media off of me, and given it to them 'so he only needs one meeting about it per week' and he assured me it wasn't a case of he was unhappy with my work.
I'm not going to lie, I took it pretty personally, and really re-examined everything I've done recently.
Shouldn't have bothered - they've AI'd everything and it's terrible. The content they're producing makes absolutely zero sense, it's corny and it's so obvious. The interaction rates and likes have also plummeted, which I've been looking at in twisted glee.
Urgh, it just makes me mad, as (quite rightly) that low bar wouldn't be ok from me.
@Jellycat369 are the other queries that come in at 11.47pm last night something like this?OMG! Do you work in my office? This is literally every other query that comes into the team!
'I immediately need unspecified 'data' for 'vague category' for the last seven years immediately (yes, the immediately was doubled) or ALL IS LOST AND WE WILL BE DOOMED, DOOMED, I TELL YOU (line manager copied in for good measure, along with three people in Admin who really aren't going to react well to this).'
1. Roll eyes because there's no indication of what exactly they need, why they need it and what they hope to achieve from it.
2. Ignore 9 additional emails that come in of the three other people all arguing amongst themselves that it wasn't their responsibility and they know absolutely nothing about this matter and to contact the other two people that are also arguing it wasn't them because it was definitely theirs to go and get a tit instant coffee (black, no sugar, I'm going to need it).
3. Ignore the subsequent 6 emails continuing this argument, the stomping down the corridor to have a go at the unfortunate line manager caught in the crossfire about how awful this is and the general atmosphere of handbags at dawn.
4. Decide after careful consideration not to light the blue paper by replying all with documentation from the last seven years showing that it was clearly the responsibility of the of the three that is the most vocal in declaring that they have absolutely no knowledge of this matter.
OK. So this will have been submitted to x external organisation and is probably going to be used for abc purpose. I wonder if the chatty contact there is in work today and feels like doing me a favour?
<puts on smiley face and picks up phone>
Contact provides incredibly useful data that saves me around 7 days of work trying to recover around 45% of the info from around 750 emails, nine spreadsheets and a defunct user account or five in a secure part of the network with the forensic skills of the long suffering IT department - and signposts additional resources, which are then also accessed and interrogated.
<Clicks send three hours later>
a. Here's some info as verified by the external organisation.
b. Here's a summary table in a format that is a key learning objective of the Primary Key Stage 2 Maths Curriculum (so somebody in their 40s with post graduate qualifications and is paid a shedload to know this type of stuff must be able to understand it?).
c. This is a precis of the implications of the data. It's good (and it actually reduces the overall workload to have this information up front, as it means recovering the original source isn't actually necessary).
d. These are the limitations of the data, the reason for disparities between the sets, the meaning of the terms used and frankly, is far more than you will ever need but you can use it as a baseline for the next set of data.
e. Here's a refined excerpt of the data. With the bits you are concerned with highlighted in pretty colours. And vital comparative data from others that wouldn't have been accessible were it not for the helpful contact at the external organisation.
f. Oh, and here's the email you were copied into six months ago giving you one of the datasets and the implications.
g. And you can access it for later periods on the in house database when it is possible to record it - as you can't provide data for 2024 when it's still 2023 (without a time machine travelling at 88 miles per hour and drawing 1.2 Gigawatts, at any rate). <omitting observation that it's literally one of their key competencies and a major factor in their absolute tit-tonnes of salary to know how to do this without some muppet in data (me) having to do it for them>
Three minutes before the end of the day
<ping>
'Generic comments to make clear that I haven't read it because it's data and I don't understand that kind of thing because it's numbers, innit, and I'm a girl'
<wonders whether that means I've been transitioned without my knowledge>.
'I'm coming to your office right now to keep you past your finish time trying to explain it to me when I'm only going to stare blankly and declare that it's all too complicated for girls and then demand that you don't just provide data that literally does not exist, you take on the admin role that is nothing to do with your job whatsoever and the others were arguing about because I haven't realised I've been responsible for the entire thing for a year and did nothing about it because it involved numbers and I'm a girl'.
<runs down corridor to see line manager entering their office>
'What can I do for you Dragon?'
'I need to hide.'
'Who from?'
'AbsoluteFuckingNumptie'
LM kicked the door open for me like The Sweeney.
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