Alfie Deyes #3 Definitely NOT Gifted
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Watched the trailer for the "podcast". Even that was dull n boring.
Bloody hell he doesn't half fancy himself?????
For the love of spirit what are those socks he always prances around in!?
I thought those were just for girls lol.
He acts bi-sexual, wearing makeup, SITTING DOWN TO PEE!!! What other guy on this planet SITS DOWN TO PEE for christ sake.
He just needs to dump Z and get a boyfriend and have kinky ringworm sex
Those socks are great if you’re wearing shorts and shoes like converse, toms, vans, etc. And you don’t want a normal sock on show but still want to wear socks. Which is what I have those for. Would never wear them normally.
The sitting down to pee is weird, especially if he does it in public toilets, which is just ???. Nobody wants to sit on public toilets if they can avoid it (feel sorry for women).
I still think he is more asexual though, even if he acts like he loves Mark Ferris, his childish attitude to sex and laughing when somebody mentions it just feels like could never even have sex successfully.
Lol!!! They must have a really horrible sex life.
This may be over the top (apologies in advance) but I doubt little miss zoella has ever sucked his.... lol I just doubt it!!
Their sex life is definitely non-existent. Zoe wouldn’t be able to fit a dick in her little mouth - not even Alfie’s little dick. She is definitely very vanilla sex wise, only wanting to have sex to get pregnant probably. She is definitely a woman I don’t think will have a vibrator in her knicker draw.
Alfie I think would also be very vanilla sexually, I don’t think he would be at all into kinky sex, the way he behaves when sex is brought up isn’t the behaviour of somebody who is sexually confident. It’s one of the few things I think Zoe and Alfie have in common - a lack of sexual desire, and only liking simple, quick, vanilla sex when they do have sex.
Even the thought. ??
? they probably only do it in their bed too, nowhere else, if they actually even partake in the act. I think Zoe is trying to get on his good side by bouldering and going places with him more, hoping he will impregnate her. You’re right, vanilla and boring. I am so eager to see how this drama unfolds this year for them.
Even if Zoe were to get pregnant I don’t think she’d have a healthy pregnancy and as sad as it is i don’t think she’d be able to carry to full term.
They are both too immature to have a child anyway
I don't think he's a prude - just massively immature. He's one of those guys who would've shouted 'penis!' at random moments in school and thought it was the funniest thing ever, and just never grew out of it. Like the way he talked about sex in that one podcast he did and how hot and funny it would be to sleep with a teacher...to his very young audience.
I don't understand why he didn't just get braces and some gum work done? Especially on his bottom teeth - Invisalign could've fixed that!
He had Invisalign, he was just too lazy to put his braces on everyday.
He looks like he should be working the waltzer at a fair.
The Secrets Out #5
- The Secrets were boring AF too.
-I will list them all and only go into some
4. KISSED MY EX:
I honestly got bored.
I didn't mind Ali and Clare. Seem they've actually experienced life.
*OH IF YOU ARE A MEMBER YOU GET EXTRA SECRETS -- LUCKY THEM and there's TWO TIERS (£1.99 and £3.99) I HAVE PICKED TIER £:0 A MONTH
- The first secrets from Ali, Clare and Alfies were LAME AF
- Ali: I fancied the pantomime woman when I was younger and cried to sleep because I knew I would never be with her
- Clare: I didn't pass my driving test first time round (Ohhhhhhhhhh how saucy lol)
- Alfie: When I was 17 I went out with my colleagues who were much older than me with a fake ID, got proper drunk and passed out in a bush. I woke up at home and didn't remember anything until my sister told me my mum had picked me up.Hope I don't lose brands because of this!
- The Secrets were boring AF too.
-I will list them all and only go into some
- I let my grandad think he's going deaf
- I put a sweet up my bum then put it back
- I stole £20 from my grandparents when I was 13 and now 30 I still feel guilty
- I kissed my ex boyfriend
- Best mate asked best mate to keep an eye on her bf (Best mate and bf work together). Best mate sleeps with bf.
- I fed my goldfish to my cat and the cat died
- My parents are arguing because condoms are going missing and they think ones guessing. Really I'm taking them but they think I'm a virgin.
- Went camping when young we would drink apple squash in the morning. One day it tasted weird-- it was our Dad's piss
- Had 4 kids with 2 different men but now I'm a lesbian (Ali called BULLSHIT)
- I go through people's tit when alone
- Found a marriage certificate. Mum got married at 15 when my older brother was born meaning he's this other man's son. I don't know if everyone knows.
4. KISSED MY EX:
- Some decent points from Clare and Ali regarding their relationship (E.G. how they argue, how they sort things out)
- Alfie added nothing but did say "ITS GOT DEEP"
- Clare was cut throat "The trash took itself out" (Northern lass coming out lol)
- Alfie did say he would out a cheating couple
- Clare asked "have you ever gone through eachothers phone"
- Alfie said "No. We are super open" (okkurrrr)
I honestly got bored.
I didn't mind Ali and Clare. Seem they've actually experienced life.
*OH IF YOU ARE A MEMBER YOU GET EXTRA SECRETS -- LUCKY THEM and there's TWO TIERS (£1.99 and £3.99) I HAVE PICKED TIER £:0 A MONTH
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Quick, fetch me the smelling salts before I faint ??. Alfie is cooking an actual meal. Is the takeaway closed on Sunday???
Errmmm he’s not. I thought the same then it panned to his mate zach actually doing the cooking
Looks like Logan Paul is doing a flat earth video. It looks slightly better produced than Alfs
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Thought it was too good to be true ???. I can put the smelling salts away then??
Why do you think she wouldn't be able to carry to full term?? Whats wrong with her?Even if Zoe were to get pregnant I don’t think she’d have a healthy pregnancy and as sad as it is i don’t think she’d be able to carry to full term.
They are both too immature to have a child anyway
I can't stand these podcasts (youtube video) they are so boring I thought it would be more about the people and secrets about them not just random people.
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