Alfie Deyes #3 Definitely NOT Gifted

[boredjess]

He has dropped his merch

And in the promo clip, shows how you can DIY his basic as ass hoodie into a cropped hoodie, by cutting it up..

this is how Alf looks like now on his toilet without memes to look at

 

[Bythesea]

Looks like he’s on his way to do a spot of robbing

 

[Alightened]

This could be the new thread name...

Alfie Deyes #4 Half a brain and a half pipe, plus a big gob that spouts endless tripe.

 

[Wildbluemilk]

I don’t usually write in these threads (I lurk for the cleaning Instagram trainwrecks) but felt like I had to share that I saw Alfie and Zoe in Brighton today and he shouted at me as we passed each other in the street (I didn’t realise it was him til after it happened) to let me know he had the same t shirt as me?? He was so obnoxious and rude just shouting OH I HAVE THAT T SHIRT as if I actually cared. What a tool. You’d think he’d have learnt how to approach the general public by now ???

 

[cuzisayso]

What the.............?!

 

[Alightened]

Well even if he could spell consistent, which he obviously can't, when has he ever been consistent in anything he does

 

[cherry198]

Disappointed but not surprised?

 

[GossWhore]

VLOG: SUCH A FUN DAY...BUT THE END DIDN’T GO TO PLAN

Question, what fucking moron can’t tell the difference between a peacock and a pheasant? Answer: Alfie and his dumb mates. Even Zoe knew it was a peacock in the garden not a pheasant.

Alfie is doing some “arty” pick up shot style clips in the video to make it look more produced, it’s just a shame it’s intersperced with such uninteresting content.

They are spending the day going round different skate parks, Zach had to buy a new board because he left his at a friends house and that friend is now on holiday.

Moaning about the ulcer

Plugs his Instagram Spotify AD, that technically requires proper declaration of business relationship.

The boys skating is really not interesting content, it is boring. They don’t even do good tricks.

The car may not have had a spare wheel, it may have been bought without that option. Because many cars don’t come with spare wheels as standard these days to save weight and CO2 emissions.

While waiting for AA, went to a trampoline park and got #GIFTED coffees, which Alfie wa his usual passive aggressive self about saying whether he has to declare that or not. You do Alfie, and you know it!

When AA did arrive Sean was shocked how quickly, the man did the job. Well it was only a flat tyre, it wasn’t difficult for him.

Back home, moans more about the ulcer.
Zoe suggests it might be infected, I say he is just being a wimp. Swish some vodka, or at least mouthwash, around your mouth Alfie, that will kill bacteria and reduce the pain for a while at least.

Also, Alfie picking up blueberries and saying "All about the bloobs"

Like what kinda fucking idiot is he?

 

[black ripped skinnies]

Seem to have cut it really weird aswell ?[emoji23]

That's the Tory way of cutting pizza. It's proper sick yo, triangles are so basic

 

[cuzisayso]

Just leaving this here....

 

[Yel]

He's literally wearing that shit merchandise every day now - does he think hes subcontiously planting it into our minds so we're gonna be desperate to buy it when it's out.

One of the most infuriating comments on his feed was praising him for releasing a a Fjallraven clone bag at a much cheaper price.

Fjallraven's products are high quality, environmental, use cutting edge technology, sustainable, care about animal rights, worker rights and generally a very socially conscious company. Alfies copy would be bad quality, cheap materials and ultimately a bad investment.

People in Sweden talk of inheriting a kanken bag from their grandparents and it has a 30 year guarantee. Alfie doesn't even use his own bag design after the launch and instead uses a Gucci bag. Alfies bag is hideously expensive compared to the real thing.

He's still got lots of the old merch that he can't sell even discounted.

This new merch is nothing more than a typeface, he would get laughed out of shark tank.

 

[GossWhore]

• OMG the video started so cringe --him "bopping" in his car to that white fratboy rapper HoddieAllen --- Alfie going "yeah yeah yooo" was so cringe
• He tried explaining its Friday without mentioning its Good Friday "Its currently Friday, the Friday before a Bank Holiday" -- tbh I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know it was Good Friday, he's so simple
• That pizza oven was £200 or $260
• Its Friday and the only person he can find to hang out with is his Dad loooool
• He went to buy some stuff for the pizza oven "I got sourdough, I don't know what that means but it sounded good" -- when you have more money than sense
• Jumping on his trampoline on his own lol
• He needed wood for the pizza oven and was saying to Zoe "I don't know if the Garden centre will be open because it's Friday" ---- HI ALFIE GOOGLE EXISTS -- Also, some people actually WORK on Good Friday
• The conversation he had about gloves with Zoe as she gardened and he played with his cup/balls (no innuendo) sounded sooooo mundane ---- no wonder they always have people open
• He saw another Figaro car and said "ahh they have the same car" --- yeah they actually USE THEIR CAR
• Even Zoe commented he cut the pizza weird --- cutting pizza like a Tory lol
• They went to bed at 10pm because Zalfie had a video shoot together at 8am -- mm wondering what?
• Alfie ended the vlog with dumbass quotes -- Alfiestole talking about "99% of people don't know what the fuck goes on in your life, so let the judgment carry less weight" -- Youtubers need to stop this bs "you only see 10 mins of my life" but do you not pick which 10 mins we see????
• Ended vlog with some "unseen" kayaking clips

 

[cherry198]

I was just coming to post that comment after I seen it on insta.am I the only one who finds the wording of it a bit strange ‘I’m 25 now with a 29 year old girlfriend of 6 years’ it’s just how be brought up Zoe’s age and how long they’ve been together

 

[Ramblings]

iNabber comemnted on jaacks video saying they had a 4 hour discussion. Alfie edited down to show viewers what HE wanted, yet still showed himself as a dickhead.

 

[StephenTJackson]

Wouldn’t use their relationship for view? Can somebody send that message to Alfie then, his entire YouTube career is based on “ooh look Zoella in the thumbnail” or “ooh look Zoella in the title” clickbait.

They won’t do a couples channel because they are too lazy to even work their own channels properly. Let’s not add another channel for them to half-arse.

 

[Hallowmaiden]

Oh how times have changed

 

[bruhbrap]

What I think when I look at Alfie and Zoe’s lives...

 

[Youtubegossip]

Ladies and gentleman, Mr Alfred Deyes

9.10pm not bothered about the stats
10.10pm totally bothered about stats

 

[Horatio]

I've never met R Kelly but I can criticise him
I also never met Hitler

Yeah but do you even know how much his advance was for Mein Kampf? #relevant

 

[Oohthedrama]

I don’t know if anyone has posted this before.

His latest pointless knob vlog.
Acting like Gandhi quoting Winnie the fucking Poo.
The speed I clear my watch history lately I can’t be linked to that if I drop dead