gossip_guy
VIP Member
Ruby's back! After several months, Ol' Rubert has finally graced us with 16 more minutes of low-effort, recycled cringe.
Group Project Study With Me (this was fun)
And we can tell how enthusiastic she is by the lowercase, punctuation-free "(this was fun)" in the title. Rubes continues to show zero consistency in her punctuation and capitalisation, but in her defence, it's not like she's in her third year of an English degree or anything. ...Wait, what? She is? Oh. Well, that's embarrassing.
We can tell she's definitely excited though, by the very convincing, not-at-all-miserable 'thumbs-up' she gives in the thumbnail, where she looks like she's just been told that her dog died, shortly after Blakeney moved to New Zealand and the police arrested her father for tax evasion:
"Hello, it's Roobee, and today oiy'm gyowing tyoo bee sharing with yoo a particularly fun 'study with me' video", she says. I think we'll be the judge of that, Rubes...
It was filmed "over half term", because Ruby's still living her life by the primary school metric she used when she was 9. So far Ruby has claimed reading week is anything from "a holiday" to "half term" - anything to avoid the reality that she's actually in her final year of uni and about to be shat out into the real, adult world after graduation.
She's been working on a "group projACKT!", which seems to be like a group project, but hangrier and with more privilege.
Ruby starts by showing the comforts of home, where she's fled yet again, and his living her best life: Dressed for a Siberian winter and huddling around her sad porridge for warmth.
Ruby's working on a group project in which the world's unluckiest students are subjected to Ruby's Paris Geller-esque study regimes while they attempt to make Charles Dickens more accessible to the wider public and show why his writing is still relevant today. Ruby and herslaves study group decided on a Dickens-themed escape room, which accomplishes neither task.
Rubes claims that they did "a load of research" for this, including a load of market research. Unfortunately we've already been spoiled on the ending of this particular fiction (no thought, effort or research was done for this project and Ruby doesn't seem to know what an escape room actually is), and the end result of this project can be seen here:
But Ruby's clearly dipping into non-linear storytelling and we're getting the beginning after the end - she's the StudyTube Tarantino, only with zero talent and even more manic tirades about nothing.
Ruby has only just begun her project, but is already getting distracted by food fetish videos yet again:
Videos about eating and/or eating disorders are the only YouTube content she watches now.
She's also taped a random New Yorker clipping onto her laptop as a makeshift camera cover, which seems redundant as the thick film of disgusting dirt and grime that befouls her laptop would certainly obscure any view through said camera. But hey, aesthetics above all!
Ruby is a massive "reponent" of making studying fun. I mean, Ruby enjoyed every moment of her studies, and it very clearly helped her to learn words and their meanings! Be sure to make the classroom fun, so that kids can grow up enlaytonned and intellactually resplended!
Ruby claims she/her underlings made a fully-functioning escape room with clues and teachable experiences, which she proves by showing...
Some Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman quotes taped next to a Nutcracker doll and a picture of Ruby:
A sticker of No-Face from My Neighbour Totoro placed on a filthy, grime-covered window:
A 'Final Year' binder with a Van Gogh painting on (a grim portent of things to come, as this might be your final year if you don't escape Ruby's room of dust and death). Also, a teacup, a candle, and a view of the many vans that you could presumably win for escaping successfully:
And a random selection of books borrowed from several friends, relatives and libraries which Ruby claimed as her own. Also pictured are several random flowers and liquids from which you'll need to craft the antidote to the poison that Ruby gave you upon entering the room...
So, apparently the key to making Dickens fun and relevant today is to simply focus on many other unrelated writers, artists and intellectual properties from many eras of history, and assemble the escape room in your own bedroom to give a convenient excuse to run home from uni.
Ruby is as satisfied with the effort as she is with the work she puts into all her creative endeavours:
Ruby says she's making good headway and has spend around two hours on the project, so that past-tense "we designed and made the escape room!" talk was premature and all the stuff she showed was an irrelevant, shoehorned bunch of room tour footage to pad the video. That or she's continuing the non-linear narrative - with Ruby it's impossible to tell.
Ruby needs to get cracking, though - she's got a meeting in seven minutes precisely to discuss an "ASS-ay", which is presumably just what her tutors have collectively agreed to call Ruby's essays based on their overall quality.
Ruby shows a glimpse of one of her numerous, redundant planner systems, in which she reveals that she needs to remind herself when Halloween is (despite being obsessed with October) and celebrates Christmas with Blakeney in some fashion on November 2nd:
She also notes tutor meetings under just their first names, because Ruby always wants to feel like her teachers are her friends and equals. "Chloe Meeting" is filed under "University", but "Lauren Meeting" is filed under "Meeting". Is this some meeting Inception? A meeting to discuss the Lauren Meeting? Or is Ruby just a moron? Probably the latter.
Ruby says for any meeting she has, she always adds some notes on Notion beforehand for discussion topics. Only in this case, she says she didn't add anything, which she claims is unusual for her.
"As I say, I just made some quick notes of questions and things I wanted to bring up," Ruby says, immediately contradicting herself. Which is it, Ruby? Either you didn't make any notes this time, or you did.
Then we're shown Ruby's "quick notes", which comprised of several pages and very obviously weren't written in 7 minutes, and it becomes clear that Ruby's been lying yet again to make herself seem far more organised, but just forgot to keep her story straight.
(Pictured: Page 2 of Ruby's "quick notes")
Again we see the crux of Ruby's essay-writing technique - bombard a tutor with an absolute barrage of leading questions to get them to answer the essay question and write the skeleton of her essay for her. Combine that with Sparknotes and lots of secondary, supporting quotes, and voila!
Ruby quickly breaches the uni data protection and confidentiality rules by displaying email correspondence on-screen for the public to see. Ruby reveals that, after taking up her tutor's time with a meeting, she immediately started harassing her with follow-up emails:
Her tutor's office hours are limited, and Ruby has clearly monopolised all of that time this day. Good luck, other students!
Ruby types up her tutor's notes into Notion, which seems to take forever, then it's back to the group projACKT!
Ruby claims to be putting serious research into this escape room, and rambles incoherently about Thomas Carlyle to prove it.
Meanwhile, we see that her actual research is just watching interviews with Jim Carrey from the press tour for his adaptation of A Christmas Carol:
It's a fluffy interview with no academic merit and no real relevance to the task at hand, so naturally Ruby shoehorned it in.
And if we follow that pattern, we can surmise what the supporting material for her next Dickens essay is sure to be:
Ruby claims that Dickens is relevant today because workaholism culture was prevalent in both eras, never once mentioning that she herself is a massive "reponant" of toxic productivity and working yourself to death. In fact, she reads quotes about the drudgery of toxic labour in the time of Dickens with such fake whimsy and wistfulness in her voice that it's hard not to get the distinct impression that she believes borderline slave labour is a wonderful thing.
She also claims that as a culture, the first question that we ask people isn't "What's your name?" or "How are you?", but "What do you do?! What is your job?!", proving that Ruby's completely insane, entirely detached from reality and has never had an actual conversation in her life.
We're shown Ruby's Spotify, which includes such odd playlists as "Royalcore" and "regency vibes", because it's important that we romanticise the monarchy and its history of colonialism, shielding sex offenders from justice and leeching off the taxpayer.
Playlists also featured: "you're a student in a posh boarding school" and "emily dickinson would find these poetic" (a playlist containing 60% Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey).
Ruby lifts her candle snuffer to reveal a dead fly hidden under it like the world's worst magic trick:
Ruby goes for an extended walk in a depressing, barren field littered with the remains of rotting pumpkins. Ruby says it's so "autominal" and she "literally" loves October so, so much.
You might be wondering what this has to do with her study group project, and Ruby will take that particular secret to her pumpkin-covered grave.
Ruby gets set up in one of the many barely-used rooms in her house of squalor as multiple flies try desperately to escape through the closed window. Even flies have limits when it comes to filth.
(Not pictured: The LG Gram Laptop)
She explains that each member of her group recorded an intro video explaining why they chose an escape room for their project. She doesn't actually show these videos or actually explain how an escape room is in any way relevant to Charles Dickens, nor does she explain why any of her group agreed to let Ruby edit the whole thing despite her consistent proven lack of ability and effort when it comes to editing.
"Why would you trust me with this?" Ruby probably asks. "I edit my videos with a hammer!"
She rambles about how videos are a fantastic way to convey information in a compact, entertaining way, which begs the question why she didn't chose a YouTube feature, TikTok videos or a fake Netflix show as her means of making Dickens relevant to younger audiences instead of an escape room, which has no relevance and which Ruby clearly doesn't understand.
Ruby quickly mentions that she went with her family for her grandmother's birthday, which they evidently celebrated by watching films meant for small children and refusing to sit in chairs:
It's the next day, and Ruby continues her projACKT! by making a slide about Victorian print cultures. Because that's what everyone wants to be reading about on a fun evening at an escape room. For this single slide, she writes absolute fucking essay of information for some reason:
Rubes, you do realise that escape rooms are a timed experience, right? People don't have four hours to read through your inane, poorly-researched, historically inaccurate bullshit.
She photographs her parents' mouldy Dickens books, which she claimed as her own, because a crumbling old book surrounded by dead flies is emblematic of both the Dickensian era and Ruby's future prospects.
Ruby says that print culture was just too difficult to explain, so she just records a train announcer-style voiceover of herself shouting, "This next room will introduce visitors to the letterpress". Because Ruby appears to have confused escape rooms with museums.
The entire group project so far seems like an inconsistent, incoherent disaster that Ruby's taken the reins on and steered into a canyon after setting it ablaze. While we've already seen the shoddy end result and shouldn't be surprised, the lack of thought and sense from her regarding the project is still staggering.
Ruby inserts some footage of her short trip to London, which has nothing at all to do with her project, but she just needs to remind us yet again that she left the house without mummy holding her hand.
Ruby rambles endlessly about the benefits of "pour-age", which seems indistinguishable from porridge. Ruby, are you sponsored by porridge? If not, stop talking about porridge so much. Other foods exist, you should try some.
Rubes casually informs us that she's spent hours researching Victorian doorbells, which should've been a red flag to her group partners to seize back control of this projACKT! before Ruby completely tanks all their grades.
Ruby then talks about all the work she's been putting into a fake Instagram page as part of a marketing exercise for the escape room. Again, we've already seen the end result of this, but it's unfathomably lazy and was clearly just a way to weaponize her privilege and steer all her fans to follow the page to try to paint her marketing exercise as a success. It did not succeed based on its own merits and nobody would've followed it if it weren't for Studytube pseudo-celebrity Ruby Granger asking thousands of fans to follow it.
After attempting to turn her escape room idea into means of teaching people to use a "printing prass", Ruby gets bored of her disastrous trainwreck of a project and twirls outside like a lunatic, while wearing jeans (two weeks after claiming she hates jeans and never wears them) and subjecting us to the same "Smile, Smile, Smile..." song we've heard in every single video from her.
Ruby acts likes she put tonnes of effort and work into the escape room logo by showing timelapses footage of its creation, but the end result was clearly no more than two minutes of half-assed photoshopping.
In another of Ruby's ongoing attempts to burn down her house, she tries to snuff out a candle that's both broken and too big for the holder and the whole thing collapses:
Ruby's so #grateful that so many people followed her fake escape room Insta page, clearly not realising that this is the most transparent, unfair means of gaining an advantage over other students without a substantial social media following.
She desperately begs for praise for only running home for a week or so this time. Aren't you proud?!
Ruby rants about how bad "charll povertee" is, while displaying logos of child poverty causes. Ruby naturally only pays lips service to this cause and will not donate any money, food, time or action towards helping the cause or feeding the needy, but if any of these causes want to sponsor her, she'll happily take all their money.
After all that, the videos she kept talking about making were uploaded as unlisted ones to share with her group, there was no sign of any group interaction in this group study vide, and despite claiming to have designed a fully-functioning escape room, nothing is shown but flimsy, low-effort marketing and irrelevant research.
So, all in all, another incompetent, time-wasting shit-show of "tell, don't show" from Rubert.
Group Project Study With Me (this was fun)
And we can tell how enthusiastic she is by the lowercase, punctuation-free "(this was fun)" in the title. Rubes continues to show zero consistency in her punctuation and capitalisation, but in her defence, it's not like she's in her third year of an English degree or anything. ...Wait, what? She is? Oh. Well, that's embarrassing.
We can tell she's definitely excited though, by the very convincing, not-at-all-miserable 'thumbs-up' she gives in the thumbnail, where she looks like she's just been told that her dog died, shortly after Blakeney moved to New Zealand and the police arrested her father for tax evasion:
"Hello, it's Roobee, and today oiy'm gyowing tyoo bee sharing with yoo a particularly fun 'study with me' video", she says. I think we'll be the judge of that, Rubes...
It was filmed "over half term", because Ruby's still living her life by the primary school metric she used when she was 9. So far Ruby has claimed reading week is anything from "a holiday" to "half term" - anything to avoid the reality that she's actually in her final year of uni and about to be shat out into the real, adult world after graduation.
She's been working on a "group projACKT!", which seems to be like a group project, but hangrier and with more privilege.
Ruby starts by showing the comforts of home, where she's fled yet again, and his living her best life: Dressed for a Siberian winter and huddling around her sad porridge for warmth.
Ruby's working on a group project in which the world's unluckiest students are subjected to Ruby's Paris Geller-esque study regimes while they attempt to make Charles Dickens more accessible to the wider public and show why his writing is still relevant today. Ruby and her
Rubes claims that they did "a load of research" for this, including a load of market research. Unfortunately we've already been spoiled on the ending of this particular fiction (no thought, effort or research was done for this project and Ruby doesn't seem to know what an escape room actually is), and the end result of this project can be seen here:
Ruby Granger #18 Still no deal with Waterstones but half her food was mailed from home
I don't see her getting a real job after uni, at all. She'll probably turn this channel into a "history" channel and indulge her Victorian cosplays to her heart's content. I bet she has dreams of becoming a Bernadette Banner kind of character, who basically live for the aesthetics. But I...
tattle.life
But Ruby's clearly dipping into non-linear storytelling and we're getting the beginning after the end - she's the StudyTube Tarantino, only with zero talent and even more manic tirades about nothing.
Ruby has only just begun her project, but is already getting distracted by food fetish videos yet again:
Videos about eating and/or eating disorders are the only YouTube content she watches now.
She's also taped a random New Yorker clipping onto her laptop as a makeshift camera cover, which seems redundant as the thick film of disgusting dirt and grime that befouls her laptop would certainly obscure any view through said camera. But hey, aesthetics above all!
Ruby is a massive "reponent" of making studying fun. I mean, Ruby enjoyed every moment of her studies, and it very clearly helped her to learn words and their meanings! Be sure to make the classroom fun, so that kids can grow up enlaytonned and intellactually resplended!
Ruby claims she/her underlings made a fully-functioning escape room with clues and teachable experiences, which she proves by showing...
Some Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman quotes taped next to a Nutcracker doll and a picture of Ruby:
A sticker of No-Face from My Neighbour Totoro placed on a filthy, grime-covered window:
A 'Final Year' binder with a Van Gogh painting on (a grim portent of things to come, as this might be your final year if you don't escape Ruby's room of dust and death). Also, a teacup, a candle, and a view of the many vans that you could presumably win for escaping successfully:
And a random selection of books borrowed from several friends, relatives and libraries which Ruby claimed as her own. Also pictured are several random flowers and liquids from which you'll need to craft the antidote to the poison that Ruby gave you upon entering the room...
So, apparently the key to making Dickens fun and relevant today is to simply focus on many other unrelated writers, artists and intellectual properties from many eras of history, and assemble the escape room in your own bedroom to give a convenient excuse to run home from uni.
Ruby is as satisfied with the effort as she is with the work she puts into all her creative endeavours:
Ruby says she's making good headway and has spend around two hours on the project, so that past-tense "we designed and made the escape room!" talk was premature and all the stuff she showed was an irrelevant, shoehorned bunch of room tour footage to pad the video. That or she's continuing the non-linear narrative - with Ruby it's impossible to tell.
Ruby needs to get cracking, though - she's got a meeting in seven minutes precisely to discuss an "ASS-ay", which is presumably just what her tutors have collectively agreed to call Ruby's essays based on their overall quality.
Ruby shows a glimpse of one of her numerous, redundant planner systems, in which she reveals that she needs to remind herself when Halloween is (despite being obsessed with October) and celebrates Christmas with Blakeney in some fashion on November 2nd:
She also notes tutor meetings under just their first names, because Ruby always wants to feel like her teachers are her friends and equals. "Chloe Meeting" is filed under "University", but "Lauren Meeting" is filed under "Meeting". Is this some meeting Inception? A meeting to discuss the Lauren Meeting? Or is Ruby just a moron? Probably the latter.
Ruby says for any meeting she has, she always adds some notes on Notion beforehand for discussion topics. Only in this case, she says she didn't add anything, which she claims is unusual for her.
"As I say, I just made some quick notes of questions and things I wanted to bring up," Ruby says, immediately contradicting herself. Which is it, Ruby? Either you didn't make any notes this time, or you did.
Then we're shown Ruby's "quick notes", which comprised of several pages and very obviously weren't written in 7 minutes, and it becomes clear that Ruby's been lying yet again to make herself seem far more organised, but just forgot to keep her story straight.
(Pictured: Page 2 of Ruby's "quick notes")
Again we see the crux of Ruby's essay-writing technique - bombard a tutor with an absolute barrage of leading questions to get them to answer the essay question and write the skeleton of her essay for her. Combine that with Sparknotes and lots of secondary, supporting quotes, and voila!
Ruby quickly breaches the uni data protection and confidentiality rules by displaying email correspondence on-screen for the public to see. Ruby reveals that, after taking up her tutor's time with a meeting, she immediately started harassing her with follow-up emails:
Her tutor's office hours are limited, and Ruby has clearly monopolised all of that time this day. Good luck, other students!
Ruby types up her tutor's notes into Notion, which seems to take forever, then it's back to the group projACKT!
Ruby claims to be putting serious research into this escape room, and rambles incoherently about Thomas Carlyle to prove it.
Meanwhile, we see that her actual research is just watching interviews with Jim Carrey from the press tour for his adaptation of A Christmas Carol:
It's a fluffy interview with no academic merit and no real relevance to the task at hand, so naturally Ruby shoehorned it in.
And if we follow that pattern, we can surmise what the supporting material for her next Dickens essay is sure to be:
Ruby claims that Dickens is relevant today because workaholism culture was prevalent in both eras, never once mentioning that she herself is a massive "reponant" of toxic productivity and working yourself to death. In fact, she reads quotes about the drudgery of toxic labour in the time of Dickens with such fake whimsy and wistfulness in her voice that it's hard not to get the distinct impression that she believes borderline slave labour is a wonderful thing.
She also claims that as a culture, the first question that we ask people isn't "What's your name?" or "How are you?", but "What do you do?! What is your job?!", proving that Ruby's completely insane, entirely detached from reality and has never had an actual conversation in her life.
We're shown Ruby's Spotify, which includes such odd playlists as "Royalcore" and "regency vibes", because it's important that we romanticise the monarchy and its history of colonialism, shielding sex offenders from justice and leeching off the taxpayer.
Playlists also featured: "you're a student in a posh boarding school" and "emily dickinson would find these poetic" (a playlist containing 60% Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey).
Ruby lifts her candle snuffer to reveal a dead fly hidden under it like the world's worst magic trick:
Ruby goes for an extended walk in a depressing, barren field littered with the remains of rotting pumpkins. Ruby says it's so "autominal" and she "literally" loves October so, so much.
You might be wondering what this has to do with her study group project, and Ruby will take that particular secret to her pumpkin-covered grave.
Ruby gets set up in one of the many barely-used rooms in her house of squalor as multiple flies try desperately to escape through the closed window. Even flies have limits when it comes to filth.
(Not pictured: The LG Gram Laptop)
She explains that each member of her group recorded an intro video explaining why they chose an escape room for their project. She doesn't actually show these videos or actually explain how an escape room is in any way relevant to Charles Dickens, nor does she explain why any of her group agreed to let Ruby edit the whole thing despite her consistent proven lack of ability and effort when it comes to editing.
"Why would you trust me with this?" Ruby probably asks. "I edit my videos with a hammer!"
She rambles about how videos are a fantastic way to convey information in a compact, entertaining way, which begs the question why she didn't chose a YouTube feature, TikTok videos or a fake Netflix show as her means of making Dickens relevant to younger audiences instead of an escape room, which has no relevance and which Ruby clearly doesn't understand.
Ruby quickly mentions that she went with her family for her grandmother's birthday, which they evidently celebrated by watching films meant for small children and refusing to sit in chairs:
It's the next day, and Ruby continues her projACKT! by making a slide about Victorian print cultures. Because that's what everyone wants to be reading about on a fun evening at an escape room. For this single slide, she writes absolute fucking essay of information for some reason:
Rubes, you do realise that escape rooms are a timed experience, right? People don't have four hours to read through your inane, poorly-researched, historically inaccurate bullshit.
She photographs her parents' mouldy Dickens books, which she claimed as her own, because a crumbling old book surrounded by dead flies is emblematic of both the Dickensian era and Ruby's future prospects.
Ruby says that print culture was just too difficult to explain, so she just records a train announcer-style voiceover of herself shouting, "This next room will introduce visitors to the letterpress". Because Ruby appears to have confused escape rooms with museums.
The entire group project so far seems like an inconsistent, incoherent disaster that Ruby's taken the reins on and steered into a canyon after setting it ablaze. While we've already seen the shoddy end result and shouldn't be surprised, the lack of thought and sense from her regarding the project is still staggering.
Ruby inserts some footage of her short trip to London, which has nothing at all to do with her project, but she just needs to remind us yet again that she left the house without mummy holding her hand.
Ruby rambles endlessly about the benefits of "pour-age", which seems indistinguishable from porridge. Ruby, are you sponsored by porridge? If not, stop talking about porridge so much. Other foods exist, you should try some.
Rubes casually informs us that she's spent hours researching Victorian doorbells, which should've been a red flag to her group partners to seize back control of this projACKT! before Ruby completely tanks all their grades.
Ruby then talks about all the work she's been putting into a fake Instagram page as part of a marketing exercise for the escape room. Again, we've already seen the end result of this, but it's unfathomably lazy and was clearly just a way to weaponize her privilege and steer all her fans to follow the page to try to paint her marketing exercise as a success. It did not succeed based on its own merits and nobody would've followed it if it weren't for Studytube pseudo-celebrity Ruby Granger asking thousands of fans to follow it.
After attempting to turn her escape room idea into means of teaching people to use a "printing prass", Ruby gets bored of her disastrous trainwreck of a project and twirls outside like a lunatic, while wearing jeans (two weeks after claiming she hates jeans and never wears them) and subjecting us to the same "Smile, Smile, Smile..." song we've heard in every single video from her.
Ruby acts likes she put tonnes of effort and work into the escape room logo by showing timelapses footage of its creation, but the end result was clearly no more than two minutes of half-assed photoshopping.
In another of Ruby's ongoing attempts to burn down her house, she tries to snuff out a candle that's both broken and too big for the holder and the whole thing collapses:
Ruby's so #grateful that so many people followed her fake escape room Insta page, clearly not realising that this is the most transparent, unfair means of gaining an advantage over other students without a substantial social media following.
She desperately begs for praise for only running home for a week or so this time. Aren't you proud?!
Ruby rants about how bad "charll povertee" is, while displaying logos of child poverty causes. Ruby naturally only pays lips service to this cause and will not donate any money, food, time or action towards helping the cause or feeding the needy, but if any of these causes want to sponsor her, she'll happily take all their money.
After all that, the videos she kept talking about making were uploaded as unlisted ones to share with her group, there was no sign of any group interaction in this group study vide, and despite claiming to have designed a fully-functioning escape room, nothing is shown but flimsy, low-effort marketing and irrelevant research.
So, all in all, another incompetent, time-wasting shit-show of "tell, don't show" from Rubert.
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gingerteacup
Chatty Member
Thread suggestion; I’m a little tea pot, a leg is my spout. Posting triggering content and getting called out.
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poppystark
Member
And she has unfollowed.. Ruby. Good for you Molly, stay strong 
Attachments
gossip_guy
VIP Member
I can't wait to see the amount of in-depth research she puts into her AncientEgyptcore phase!
"Hello, my name is Ruby and today I'm going to be showing you an Ancient Egyptian study routine.
"The day starts with some power poses - the ancient Egyptians were the inventors of yoga, and you can see many, many examples of their poses enscribed on walls and pyramids - these beautiful drawings are known as "hyroglyphians.""
(Ruby does her usual backyard yoga routine, with added 'walk like an Egyptian' poses.)
"Now it's time to get washed up and ready for the day. The only water source available to the Ancient Egyptians was the Nile river, so they all bathed in this and washed their clothes in there, too. This was also a social activity as all the villagers would get the chance to meet up and talk while washing up, and I just find that so, so inspirational, the idea that even in Ancient Egypt, people found time to take a break from life and talk to their neighbours. I think that's something we can learn from even today.
"Since I don't have the Nile river available to me, I'm just going to have a shower in my bathroom, but I've covered the floors of my house with sand to recreate the experience, and because it's just so aesthetic. If you're looking to recreate the AncientEgyptcore aesthetic, then covering your floors, windowsills, furniture, food and loved ones in lots and lots of sand is essential. I also put this miniature camel ornament on the windowsill, and if I glance at it and squint when I get out of the shower, I'd like seeing a regular-sized camel off in the distance, and I'm instantly transported to another time, it's just so, so breathtaking."
(Cut to Ruby's outfit-of-the-day: A child's Indiana Jones costume.)
"Now that I'm dressed in the traditional clothes of the era, it's time to read for a while. Ancient Egyptians had to be very careful when reading because most of their textbooks were cursed by the god Anubis, and if they read those books, they might be cast into the eternal hellfires of damnation or may unleash undead mummies on their village. Such an interesting time to live in.
"Since the worst thing we have to worry about in the 21st Century is bullying, I'm just going to recreate the Ancient Egyptian reading experience by closing my eyes and picking a book at random from this stack, but I've included some grown-up books in there, to add an element of danger; those adult books have sex and violence in them, so I'll have to be very careful not to pick one of those."
gossip_guy
VIP Member
One day, Ruby will realise that "fit" is short for "outfit". Today is not that day.
slamvs27
VIP Member
Ask and you shall recieve:
https://www.airbnb.co.uk/users/show/218965950
In other words, both selfish, disgusting cretins who only spout kindness when it benefits them.
teflonpanda
Chatty Member
Ngl when I read the line "I set the Roomba off downstairs" I automatically assumed she was referring to Ruby and then got very confused until I figured out she meant a type of vacuum cleaner.
Look what you people have done to me with all your nicknames for Ruby!
Look what you people have done to me with all your nicknames for Ruby!
Satisfying Click
VIP Member
Starting a new thread for Ruby.
Congratulations to @Griftwood on the thread title, your prizes include a Waterstones gift voucher, a subscription to Nord VPN and a ribbon for your planner.
Have a productive thread!
Congratulations to @Griftwood on the thread title, your prizes include a Waterstones gift voucher, a subscription to Nord VPN and a ribbon for your planner.
Have a productive thread!
GoinDowntown
Well-known member
A lot of people here have been wondering and speculating about her misuse and misspelling of words and if it can be possible that no one ever corrects her or deducts marks for it, or if she just ignores the remarks or gets offended.
Well, here we have it folks:
Someone in the comments wrote that etc is pronounced et cetera, not exetera, and she replied:
"It's so funny and cool how words change and evolve through use. Et cetera sounds so weird to me because I've always said it the other way -- but, as Wittgenstein says, language is use x "
Basically, refusing to ackowledge she's saying it wrong, because that's how she's always said it. Implying she has no intention to change it.
Then passive-agressively whipping out Wittgenstein to support her decision to pronounce words any way she damn well pleases, thank-you-very-much.
Hypocrite that she is, I bet she corrects other people's grammar and pronounciation with great relish.
Well, here we have it folks:
Someone in the comments wrote that etc is pronounced et cetera, not exetera, and she replied:
"It's so funny and cool how words change and evolve through use. Et cetera sounds so weird to me because I've always said it the other way -- but, as Wittgenstein says, language is use x "
Basically, refusing to ackowledge she's saying it wrong, because that's how she's always said it. Implying she has no intention to change it.
Then passive-agressively whipping out Wittgenstein to support her decision to pronounce words any way she damn well pleases, thank-you-very-much.
Hypocrite that she is, I bet she corrects other people's grammar and pronounciation with great relish.
juliadniwe
New member
I wish I never found out about Ruby threads. I thought that Ruby lives the way she shows us. But she is more like an imaginary character. She was my motivation and even motivated me to go to one of the best Universities in my country (for free). Because of her I started waking up at 6-7 am, enjoying mornings and nature, planning my day, reading books. I though she is real. And now I’m just disappointed and have realised that she has mental and self-esteem issues. And that’s all mostly a lie. She’s not clever or kind at all and doesn’t even a true bookworm. I’m so upset... Sometimes it would be better without knowing truth. Now can’t watch her videos, it seems too unrealistic... what have you done guyssssss (sorry for my English)
buflesse
Chatty Member
I think I'm going to have to step back from this thread (and Ruby) for a bit. I don't have and have never had an ED, but I do have body dysmorphia and I've found myself thinking a lot about her food habits and the fact that she is clearly ED baiting and getting thinner & thinner, and it's not healthy for me. Sending love to everyone, keep calling her out on her bullsh*t
whatamievendoing
Well-known member
Kind of off topic but just wanted to say I've seen a few comments the past couple days with you guys apologising because English is not your first language - just wanted to say I would never have known that if you hadn't said and you all sound amazing to me, definitely put the British foreign language "education" to shame - keep doing your thing xxx
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Oh, I think you know, Ruby. We all know.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Because life is short and time is precious, I've decided to only recap the new content in Ruby's latest routine video:
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Ruby's kicking off the New Year with her latest attempt to sweep this whole "Being a terrible businessperson and terrible person in general" thing under the rug without consequence. It's a new year! A time to forgive and forget the money she owes her customers and various charities!
As the famous song goes: "Should auld monetary pilfering be forgot and never brought to mind?" In Ruby's mind, absolutely. Ruby's a Tory, and they're not supposed to deal with annoying things like comeuppances.
Ruby starts the year as she means to go on: By clinging to the past and living in squalor.
This is a vlog covering the last few days of the year, Ruby claims. The flowers on her windowsill were delivered to her mid-December and looked near death then. Rub keeps them proudly on display still, even though they look pathetically wilted.
She starts the day by "making her bed" - i.e., pulling a throw over her bed to avoid having to change the sheets or adjust their sloppy hanging-off-the-mattress fit in any way. It's an approach she uses in every aspect of her life: Toss a metaphorical rug over anything messy or unfortunate, like criticism and requests for planner refunds, and hope it magically fixes itself.
"I always use the last few days of the year to REE-SAT and RE-FLACKT," she says, and I assume she means "Reset the Pumpkin Productivity order system to purge all refund requests and complaint emails to avoid dealing with them, and reflect on all the new money in the bank".
"I'm basically trying to do things that will set me up well for the new year," she says, then aptly cuts to a shot of her running full-sprint away from responsibility and consequences.
Ruby says her morning walk through a muddy field is the highlight of her day, which doesn't sound like a good thing, and she can't have enjoyed it too much since she spent 85% of this walk setting up her camera to film herself walking back and forth from an embarrassing amount of different angles.
Most of the later shots in the video are the same angle as earlier ones, but Ruby's walking in a different direction. Nothings says "Mindfully enjoying a carefree walk in nature" quite like setting a camera up on a fence, walking twenty feet, turning around and then walking back to collect the camera and then doing this all again multiple times throughout the walk.
She trails off on one of her now-obligatory "walking through fields" casual magic nonsensical diatribes.
"I'm SO aware right now of why I love winter so mOch? I always think it's because I love Christmas aaaand I always think, 'Oh, after Christmas I'm gyowing to bee syooo down in the dumps because Christmas will be ovah, but...gyowing on this walk now, I remember just like I love just...I love winter." (Take a break here to down your headache pills of choice because Ruby's mangling of the English language feels like a violent verbal assault on the cerebral cortex.)
She claims January and February are her new favourite months, but since she says every single month is her new favourite month when it rolls around, this means nothing - it's merely her brain telling her mouth to make sounds just to confirm she's still conscious.
Ruby twirls around in the wind and mud and rants how much the weather reminds her how much she loves Winter. Only...this isn't Winter weather. This is British weather. Wet, windy, cloudy and muddy? That's the weather you get in the UK most of the year.
"Last January when I was just going on these walks every morning, I got into the habits of going on these walks every morning."
Rubes, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
When you don't eat for long periods of time, the speech centre of your starved, barely-functional brain offers up shit like, "Back when I was doing that thing I was doing, I was doing that thing I was doing!" And the now-impaired judgement centre of your brain thinks, "Sounds good to me! Lets say that out loud and share it online!" The end result is this embarrassing video.
Ruby says that taking a walk in December reminds her of all those walks she took in January. No fucking shit. You were walking in the exact same field, because you never leave home. It's a guaranteed recipe for déjà vu.
She says the walk is "really meditative" because she doesn't listen to music and lets herself think. And if this is the level of insightful thoughts she comes up with, she should really start taking headphones to drown that nonsense out.
After more footage of her walking through fields that goes on for far too long (Ruby resorts to time-lapse for half of it, and even then it drags on pointlessly), she's back home.
"LOOK how muddy my legs got." You aimed for every muddy puddle like a hyperactive 4 year old, what did you think would happen?
And those can't be jeans, right, Ruby? Because you made a preachy point in a recent video about how you don't own and never wear those, so this must be some kind of mistake, surely?
Ruby's going to get changed because her clothes are wet and "moddy", but first she points out that she's listening to The Cinematic Orchestra.
Rather than just telling people what album it is, she awkwardly just shows her screen. Strange, no? Almost as if she's conspicuously showing her screen to display the date. Y'know, the date on your phone that you can very easily change to pretend it's a different date...? That or she saw French on the album art and wisely didn't attempt to pronounce it, even though the English translation is right there.
As sloppy editing causes her sentences to overlap each other, Ruby says one of the things she does at the end of every year is to compile a memory video of the best things that happened that year.
Since Ruby never steps outside her comfort zone or try anything new whatsoever, she can (and probably will) just recycle last year's video. Contents will include:
She makes more tea, because in Ruby's mind it's a great substitute for food.
Then Ruby tries to place her tea strainer back on its holder thing. I say "try", because somehow even placing a light tea strainer in a clearly visible holder proves taxing for her. She misses by inches, acts confused, then has to try again.
There's major "Fry misses the big red button" vibes from Ruby failing at the most simple hand-eye coordination task:
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
When you don't eat for long periods of time, the part of the brain that controls coordination of visual perception and fine motor control starts failing to work as well. This means your eyes see something, your brain tells your hands, "Sure, dude, it's right there! Go for it!", when really it's not "right there" at all. It's 6 inches west of "there".
The thing you definitely want to see a person with impaired motor functions and non-existent attention span doing is playing with fire.
Ruby has almost set herself and her desk on fire several times before, by spilling nail polish all over a desk with burning candles on it, or by waving her sweater over naked flames because she wasn't paying attention to her immediate surroundings.
Here, she lights a match and while holding it in the air, burning, she gets distracted and starts reading the matchbox.
Ruby mentally adds an achievable goal to her 2022 goals list:
Though this isn't a 'What I got for Christmas' video, Ruby randomly starts mentioning things she got for Christmas. A candle from her cousin. Gold tea cups (because Ruby loves gold, in case her willingness to do or say anything for more money didn't give that away).
Apparently her parents bought her multiple of these for when she has tea parties for her friends, which she claims happens often.
It's assumed that this is a children's tea party situation and all the guests are imaginary.
While Ruby's pulling out random gifts that she got, she posts a lengthy disclaimer on-screen.
She's not doing this to show off, but lots of people asked what she got for Christmas, apparently. So...make a video about that if it's in high demand, Ruby. That's what a content creator does: Give their audience what they ask for.
If you don't want to, or feel conflicted, don't do that. If you couldn't be bothered, make an Instagram story or post. But be consistent. This isn't a gift haul video. Interrupting an unrelated video that's supposed to be about you preparing for the New Year to show off expensive trinkets you were given is especially blatant, and the very definition of showing off.
It's like if you were talking to someone about their plans for the weekend, and then mid-conversation, apropos of nothing, they just opened their wallet and just showed you their wads of cash, mentioned that there's a lot more where that came from, then defensively said "I'm not showing off."
Christmas isn't about gifts, she stresses in her disclaimer, it's about family. But she didn't veer this video off-course to tell viewers about what she did with her family over Christmas, did she? She did it to show off her gold-covered gifts.
Her mother got her another beret. She mentions that she never considered herself a hat person until Blakeney pointed out that she wears a lot of hats. Note that Blakeney did not say this was a flattering habit, only that she wore them a lot.
Wearing a beret, pearl necklace and holding a gold china tea cup, she could not look more like a pampered rich girl cliché. And she keeps rattling off gifts she got. Hot water bottles, sewing machines, tea light holders.
She says her sister Martha got her the sewing machine because Ruby wants to make her own clothes. Ruby can't even iron her own clothes, there's no chance she'll bother learning make them from scratch. Ruby's mother got her an embroidery kit last year, and that still goes unused.
Ruby also mentions that Martha got her a shark adoption/tracking gift so she can GPS track a shark in the Bahamas. Because, as you know, Ruby's a STAUNCH PROPONENT of shark conservation. You can tell by the way she made one slapdash video about it a year and a half ago, never mentioned it again until she got this gift and then quickly reposted someone else's shark conservation Insta story a couple of days ago.
After briefly considering work for another Dickens essay that's due in two weeks, Ruby decides to write some meandering essays in thankyou cards instead.
Pro tip, Ruby: If you want to thank someone, don't do it by giving them even more pages of your inane drivel to wade through to start the new year. Give them the gift of leaving them the fuck alone for a while.
In her third outfit for this "day", Ruby goes for a run to the post box. Because if anything's a good idea when you're malnourished and haven't eaten all day, it's subjecting your body to strenuous exercise.
When she's back, it's time to clear old SD cards. Doesn't seem very efficient, since Ruby regularly needs access to all that old footage to recycle it in videos and try to pass it off as new, but anyway.
When she's done with that, she says she's going to help her mum tidy "the snug", which is apparently their name for one of their 473 living rooms, and then--
Umm... Hey, Rubes...? The fuck is this?
Ruby casually pans around the "snug" to reveal she owns a child's primary school desk and it's kept up the corner so she can pretend to be a nine year old in detention.
If that weren't unsettling enough, Ruby opens the fucking thing to reveal that she's adorned it with Harry Potter clippings and stocked it with childish items such as a Matilda pencil case.
Without a trace of irony, sarcasm or self-awareness, she proudly says that her new desk organisation "genuinely looks SO good".
Ruby is a twenty-one year old woman. She bought a child's bed. Dresses like a child most of the time. Reads children's books exclusively. She idolises fictional children and tapes their photos all over her walls. And now this. Adopting the lifestyle of a prepubescent child is not a fun personality quirk. It's a creepy-as-fuck sign of serious mental instability.
Ruby claims that some of the desk's contents are her mum's. Not buying it, Ruby.
It's suddenly a new day, but old habits burn bright - quite literally - as Ruby goes pyro again.
After narrowly avoiding setting something on fire again, she says she's finishing off Vee Kativhu's book 'Empowered'. It's taken her so long to (pretend to) read it because she was simply too busy with (pretending to read) Christmas literature and poetry, which can only be read in December. According to Goodreads, the only other thing Ruby read (or pretended to read) in December besides Vee's book was A Tale of Two Cities.
But let's go back to Goodreads for a second.
Firstly, this review is terrible, and if this is the level of critical skill she applies at university, it's a wonder she hasn't failed out by now.
Now, obviously, a Goodreads review doesn't need to be an in-depth critical essay, but this vague, incompetently-written "review" tells almost nothing about the book, and like all Ruby's reviews, seems written by someone who read no more than the cover blurb.
Ruby makes grand, sweeping statements about the book, but gives zero examples.
"She gives practical advice, but also (and more importantly) shares kind and encouraging words."
This sentence could apply to almost any self-help book, and no examples or further details are given, because Ruby clearly didn't read it.
"Elements are heartbreaking (especially since we know and love Vee so much)..." Do we, Ruby? Not everyone knows who Vee is. You might know her because you share the same management team, which is likely the only reason you've written this "review" (and your relationship to Vee is also something you should absolutely be declaring in a glowingly positive review, but you clearly left that part out). But you are not the focal point of the universe. Most people have no idea who Vee is, as evidenced by her book having almost no reviews.
"...and show's why..." And which year of an English lit degree are you in again, Ruby? What's that apostrophe doing there?
"...Vee shows how she turns everything into lemons and then lemonade."
Ruby, the expression "turning lemons into lemonade" is a metaphor for taking a bad situation (a bitter lemon) and turning it into something positive (sweet lemonade). If Vee "turns everything into lemons and then lemonade", you're saying she's taking a good situation, creating her own problems and then fixing them. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Have you considered taking an indefinite vow of silence? Clearly the whole language thing is an uphill struggle for you.
"All young people should read this." That's a bold statement, Rubert. Literally every single young person should read it? Yet you only rated it 4/5? It's almost as though...you didn't read the book, had nothing to say because you didn't read the book, gave the book an overwhelmingly positive review which made no mention of the obvious bias and conflict of interest you have since you know the author, and then took a star off (without anything in the review to justify this lower rating) to pre-empt any claims of this being a shady, fake positive review.
The book could be great, I have no idea. I don't know anything about Vee other than she's an influencer repped by the same agency as Ruby, Jack Edwards (who also gave it an even-more-vague 5 star review without declaring his link to Vee), Eve Cornwell and Jade Bowler.
But I'm instantly suspicious of any book where the cover pull quotes are all from the author's friends/influencer pals. And when all talent repped by the same agency as her, who were all invited to a launch party event and gifted free books, are out there dropping positive reviews without declaring their relationship to her, this makes this whole affair and everyone involved look suspicious as fuck. Vee's book currently has only ten reviews. Two are from her agency peers. They're both glowingly positive, and neither mention their ties to Vee.
That said, this is a Ruby video recap, so let's get back to that.
Ruby marked the book as complete at 3:46am on December 29th...
Now, putting aside the fact that Ruby ain't going to be awake and reading at nearly 4am even if she did read things, here she is, still reading (or pretending to read) the book's final chapters at sunrise on December 29th:
The sun rises between 07:00 and 08:00 in the UK currently.
Make it make sense, Ruby.
Also, please note the "framed" picture to the right of her. Ruby not only seems to think pictures go on the outside of already occupied picture frames, instead of, y'know, inside them...but she's also just slapped a bit of tape in only a couple of corners, so the picture's hanging off. So aesthetic!
After another outfit change, there's footage of Ruby putting her coat and hat on that goes on forever.
And then she goes trudging around in the muddy fields again.
(Pictured: Ruby with all the Pumpkin Productivity customers who received their planners on time.)
And since she's back in the field again, of course we get an obligatory casual magic ramble.
"I LOVE mist. Mist might be my favourite weather, maybe even more than snow. Probably even more than rain, and THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING because I love rain." Why does Ruby do this? Why does every new thing she encounters have to be her FAVOURITE? Same reason she constantly claim she ALWAYS does things she never does: Narcissists and compulsive liars often exaggerate and lie about the tiniest things for attention or just for no reason at all. Everything's a competition, and Ruby always has to win, even if the only other opponent is her last remaining brain cell.
After another outfit change (her third outfit of the "day"), Ruby shows off a sad, tiny piece of toast and a small, Shrek-green smoothie.
She manically points and flails her hand around like she's trying to perform a magic trick. It's partially effective: She's made her integrity disappear.
She eats her tiny, portion of toast and then reveals she's drinking three drinks at once, because that's entirely normal and not at all a bizarre substitute for actual food. In addition to her smoothie, she also has a cup of tea and a glass of water.
Then it's time for her to work on that Dickens essay she cast aside the day before.
"It's nine thirty...let's get cracking," she says, with zero enthusiasm.
She eats a tiny orange/satsuma and makes a point to shove a clock in the frame for a time-lapse.
Why would anyone do this, unless they're trying to prove something or impress someone? They wouldn't. It also means nothing, since clocks can be easily adjusted to show whatever time you want. But clearly Ruby's been reading Tattle and getting defensive.
"I've responded to some emails," she says. Only a month late with those Pumpkin Productivity emails, huh?
She's also going to subject another family member to a meandering thankyou card.
Ruby's family every time they get post:
This time she's going to pad out the card by sending her granddad a framed photo. Now, remember the part where she displayed a baffling inability to use photo frames?
Well, she hasn't exactly improved with time.
She places the frame face-down on the desk. Takes off the back of the frame. Puts the photo in. So far so good!
Now all that's left is to pop the back cover back in, and--
For some reason, instead of doing that, Ruby decides the pick the entire thing up by its unsecured glass pane. Why? I have no fucking idea. But the whole thing collapses in her hand and falls apart and then she abruptly cuts away.
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
"I wrote a card to a...com-pany THAT..."
"I wrote a card to a...com-pany THAT...parcel to my granddad."
Ohhh, "accompany"...
You really out here just using language any which wrong way you feel like, huh, Ruby?
Ruby inserts bizarre pauses and alien cadence into her sentence and still pronounces it "a-com-panny", not "a-cum-panny".
After mangling the English language some more, she moves on to just general stupidity.
So...Ruby apparently has essays to write. And she also keeps going on about how much she values time with her family. And here she is, alone in her room, writing up notes in Notion for Vee's book for herself. A book she didn't actually read.
She appears to be flicking through the pristine, unread book, grabbing random passages and transcribing random "thoughts"/quotes into Notion. Who is this for? What purpose does this serve? I mean, her Goodreads review certainly didn't benefit from any of this. Why's she treating the random book she was gifted and pretended to read like it's an essay?
She even whips out the clock to show off how much time she claims to be wasting on this performative insanity. It's staggeringly stupid.
Then she moves onto her "New Year's Resolutions", which she wrote in November.
As a tribute to Ruby, I'll recycle my comments for this page from back when she first unveiled it. Although, since I'm being honest about it, that's not very Ruby at all. Whoops.
She evidently has no clue what the word "yearly" means, since two thirds of this "yearly planner" section is taken up with space to detail your wish list for life in five years or just the distant future.
Ruby has filled hers with goals that are either laughably unattainable (for her, at least) or where the bar is so low that it'll be hard not to accomplish ("Publish an article "somewhere"" - y'know, like a blog. Done! "Read Emma by Jane Austen" - Ruby will read the Sparknotes summary and mark this done.)
She's also set herself up for disappointment by expecting a first for her degree, even though she's struggling to meet deadlines or come up with even a basic foundation for her dissertation. Good luck with the Masters thing, Ruby!
Ruby thinks she can get a book deal, even though her dwindling popularity and vanishing relevance takes her out of the running for a vanity book deal, and no way can she get one on her own merits. Considering her lack of talent, her inability to use language coherently and the book she self-published being a major red flag to publishers, I wouldn't count on this happening, if I were her.
"Work with an anti-bullying charity."
Why this is still on her list after the anti-bullying week disaster (any proof that any of the ad revenue for those videos went to charity yet, Ruby?) and her own fabricated history of bullying is a mystery, but she should probably avoid walking through that PR minefield again.
"Tangibly promote letter-writing"? What nonsense is this?
After the old resolutions, she adds some more.
"Fully enjoy my last term." This year, Ruby has avoided campus as much as possible, complained about how much she hates studying on campus, is constantly falling behind with uni work and has generally appeared miserable at uni. Off to a great start, Ruby! Remember the "academic resolutions" she set (go home less, embrace uni culture, etc.) and gave up on in a day? This is that again.
"Send articles to magazines and competitions." Ruby employing the "If I send my drivel literally everywhere, someone will eventually read and publish it!" desperation approach.
"Work with Royal Mail." This doesn't mean Ruby will actually do any work or attempt to get a job at Royal Mail (or anywhere). She will just try to court a partnership deal for them to pay her to made shit-quality paid ads where she offers "Did you know?" historically inaccurate facts about the postal service and letter writing.
"Get a first for my degree." Why? This is out of your control, Ruby. Just put "Work to the best of my ability" and be happy with what you get instead of peddling this nonsense to people. And since you regularly cut every corner you can to avoid doing the work, a first isn't something you're entitled to or deserve.
Her 'Things to Do in 2022' list is a similar mix of 'can't fail' tasks, obvious shit that she needs to do anyway ("Complete my dissertation"? You need to do that anyway to graduate, Ruby) and pie-in-the-sky bullshit that will never happen.
"Publish a book"/"Release an audiobook". Never going to happen unless she self-publishes again.
"Solo travel to Rome". This will be like that "solo trip" to Devon, where she'll go with her family and do everything she can to hide their presence on social media to make herself seem more independent.
"Sort out library in full"/"declutter the loft" these are both rooms in her parents' home. Not only will she not bother doing these, but it's a sign that she has zero intention of even considering moving out after graduation if she's planning on claiming two more rooms as her own.
And then another walk in a field, this time with her cousins, mother and aunt.
Ruby shouts to get their attention. "Wooooo! Smile everyo--"
As everyone but her mother glares at her with confusion, she abruptly and awkwardly cuts away.
The video's almost over but the stupidity's not finished yet!
After yet another outfit change, Ruby mentions that she takes lots of screenshots to remind herself of things on her phone. I'm not sure how this is supposed to work as a reminder system, and evidently neither is Ruby, as she forgets about all the screenshots she's taken. So now she's going through over a month's stockpile of forgotten screenshots and transcribing what she thinks they might've been for into Notion.
So alongside her complex, pointless busywork system of using dozens of concurrent paper and digital planners and so on alongside Notion, Ruby also uses this screenshot system that clearly doesn't work. Isn't there reminder sections in your planner for this, Ruby?
Note that Ruby is always obsessed with finding a new morning and night routine (even though they always stay the same) yet never once considers streamlining her bullshit system of numerous redundant planners that wastes most of her day with busywork. And then she wonders why she's always late for things, always falling behind on work and never has time for anything.
What a fucking dipshit.
Happy New Year, everyone!
As the famous song goes: "Should auld monetary pilfering be forgot and never brought to mind?" In Ruby's mind, absolutely. Ruby's a Tory, and they're not supposed to deal with annoying things like comeuppances.
Ruby starts the year as she means to go on: By clinging to the past and living in squalor.
This is a vlog covering the last few days of the year, Ruby claims. The flowers on her windowsill were delivered to her mid-December and looked near death then. Rub keeps them proudly on display still, even though they look pathetically wilted.
She starts the day by "making her bed" - i.e., pulling a throw over her bed to avoid having to change the sheets or adjust their sloppy hanging-off-the-mattress fit in any way. It's an approach she uses in every aspect of her life: Toss a metaphorical rug over anything messy or unfortunate, like criticism and requests for planner refunds, and hope it magically fixes itself.
"I always use the last few days of the year to REE-SAT and RE-FLACKT," she says, and I assume she means "Reset the Pumpkin Productivity order system to purge all refund requests and complaint emails to avoid dealing with them, and reflect on all the new money in the bank".
"I'm basically trying to do things that will set me up well for the new year," she says, then aptly cuts to a shot of her running full-sprint away from responsibility and consequences.
Ruby says her morning walk through a muddy field is the highlight of her day, which doesn't sound like a good thing, and she can't have enjoyed it too much since she spent 85% of this walk setting up her camera to film herself walking back and forth from an embarrassing amount of different angles.
Most of the later shots in the video are the same angle as earlier ones, but Ruby's walking in a different direction. Nothings says "Mindfully enjoying a carefree walk in nature" quite like setting a camera up on a fence, walking twenty feet, turning around and then walking back to collect the camera and then doing this all again multiple times throughout the walk.
She trails off on one of her now-obligatory "walking through fields" casual magic nonsensical diatribes.
"I'm SO aware right now of why I love winter so mOch? I always think it's because I love Christmas aaaand I always think, 'Oh, after Christmas I'm gyowing to bee syooo down in the dumps because Christmas will be ovah, but...gyowing on this walk now, I remember just like I love just...I love winter." (Take a break here to down your headache pills of choice because Ruby's mangling of the English language feels like a violent verbal assault on the cerebral cortex.)
She claims January and February are her new favourite months, but since she says every single month is her new favourite month when it rolls around, this means nothing - it's merely her brain telling her mouth to make sounds just to confirm she's still conscious.
Ruby twirls around in the wind and mud and rants how much the weather reminds her how much she loves Winter. Only...this isn't Winter weather. This is British weather. Wet, windy, cloudy and muddy? That's the weather you get in the UK most of the year.
"Last January when I was just going on these walks every morning, I got into the habits of going on these walks every morning."
Rubes, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
When you don't eat for long periods of time, the speech centre of your starved, barely-functional brain offers up shit like, "Back when I was doing that thing I was doing, I was doing that thing I was doing!" And the now-impaired judgement centre of your brain thinks, "Sounds good to me! Lets say that out loud and share it online!" The end result is this embarrassing video.
Ruby says that taking a walk in December reminds her of all those walks she took in January. No fucking shit. You were walking in the exact same field, because you never leave home. It's a guaranteed recipe for déjà vu.
She says the walk is "really meditative" because she doesn't listen to music and lets herself think. And if this is the level of insightful thoughts she comes up with, she should really start taking headphones to drown that nonsense out.
After more footage of her walking through fields that goes on for far too long (Ruby resorts to time-lapse for half of it, and even then it drags on pointlessly), she's back home.
"LOOK how muddy my legs got." You aimed for every muddy puddle like a hyperactive 4 year old, what did you think would happen?
And those can't be jeans, right, Ruby? Because you made a preachy point in a recent video about how you don't own and never wear those, so this must be some kind of mistake, surely?
Ruby's going to get changed because her clothes are wet and "moddy", but first she points out that she's listening to The Cinematic Orchestra.
Rather than just telling people what album it is, she awkwardly just shows her screen. Strange, no? Almost as if she's conspicuously showing her screen to display the date. Y'know, the date on your phone that you can very easily change to pretend it's a different date...? That or she saw French on the album art and wisely didn't attempt to pronounce it, even though the English translation is right there.
As sloppy editing causes her sentences to overlap each other, Ruby says one of the things she does at the end of every year is to compile a memory video of the best things that happened that year.
Since Ruby never steps outside her comfort zone or try anything new whatsoever, she can (and probably will) just recycle last year's video. Contents will include:
- Spent 90% of the academic year with parents.
- Spent 98.5% of time in Exeter with Blakeney.
- Frolicked in fields behind house.
- Got lots of money through questionable means.
- Browsed Waterstones. Touched everything. Bought nothing.
She makes more tea, because in Ruby's mind it's a great substitute for food.
Then Ruby tries to place her tea strainer back on its holder thing. I say "try", because somehow even placing a light tea strainer in a clearly visible holder proves taxing for her. She misses by inches, acts confused, then has to try again.
There's major "Fry misses the big red button" vibes from Ruby failing at the most simple hand-eye coordination task:
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
When you don't eat for long periods of time, the part of the brain that controls coordination of visual perception and fine motor control starts failing to work as well. This means your eyes see something, your brain tells your hands, "Sure, dude, it's right there! Go for it!", when really it's not "right there" at all. It's 6 inches west of "there".
The thing you definitely want to see a person with impaired motor functions and non-existent attention span doing is playing with fire.
Ruby has almost set herself and her desk on fire several times before, by spilling nail polish all over a desk with burning candles on it, or by waving her sweater over naked flames because she wasn't paying attention to her immediate surroundings.
Here, she lights a match and while holding it in the air, burning, she gets distracted and starts reading the matchbox.
Ruby mentally adds an achievable goal to her 2022 goals list:
Though this isn't a 'What I got for Christmas' video, Ruby randomly starts mentioning things she got for Christmas. A candle from her cousin. Gold tea cups (because Ruby loves gold, in case her willingness to do or say anything for more money didn't give that away).
Apparently her parents bought her multiple of these for when she has tea parties for her friends, which she claims happens often.
It's assumed that this is a children's tea party situation and all the guests are imaginary.
While Ruby's pulling out random gifts that she got, she posts a lengthy disclaimer on-screen.
She's not doing this to show off, but lots of people asked what she got for Christmas, apparently. So...make a video about that if it's in high demand, Ruby. That's what a content creator does: Give their audience what they ask for.
If you don't want to, or feel conflicted, don't do that. If you couldn't be bothered, make an Instagram story or post. But be consistent. This isn't a gift haul video. Interrupting an unrelated video that's supposed to be about you preparing for the New Year to show off expensive trinkets you were given is especially blatant, and the very definition of showing off.
It's like if you were talking to someone about their plans for the weekend, and then mid-conversation, apropos of nothing, they just opened their wallet and just showed you their wads of cash, mentioned that there's a lot more where that came from, then defensively said "I'm not showing off."
Christmas isn't about gifts, she stresses in her disclaimer, it's about family. But she didn't veer this video off-course to tell viewers about what she did with her family over Christmas, did she? She did it to show off her gold-covered gifts.
Her mother got her another beret. She mentions that she never considered herself a hat person until Blakeney pointed out that she wears a lot of hats. Note that Blakeney did not say this was a flattering habit, only that she wore them a lot.
Wearing a beret, pearl necklace and holding a gold china tea cup, she could not look more like a pampered rich girl cliché. And she keeps rattling off gifts she got. Hot water bottles, sewing machines, tea light holders.
She says her sister Martha got her the sewing machine because Ruby wants to make her own clothes. Ruby can't even iron her own clothes, there's no chance she'll bother learning make them from scratch. Ruby's mother got her an embroidery kit last year, and that still goes unused.
Ruby also mentions that Martha got her a shark adoption/tracking gift so she can GPS track a shark in the Bahamas. Because, as you know, Ruby's a STAUNCH PROPONENT of shark conservation. You can tell by the way she made one slapdash video about it a year and a half ago, never mentioned it again until she got this gift and then quickly reposted someone else's shark conservation Insta story a couple of days ago.
After briefly considering work for another Dickens essay that's due in two weeks, Ruby decides to write some meandering essays in thankyou cards instead.
Pro tip, Ruby: If you want to thank someone, don't do it by giving them even more pages of your inane drivel to wade through to start the new year. Give them the gift of leaving them the fuck alone for a while.
In her third outfit for this "day", Ruby goes for a run to the post box. Because if anything's a good idea when you're malnourished and haven't eaten all day, it's subjecting your body to strenuous exercise.
When she's back, it's time to clear old SD cards. Doesn't seem very efficient, since Ruby regularly needs access to all that old footage to recycle it in videos and try to pass it off as new, but anyway.
When she's done with that, she says she's going to help her mum tidy "the snug", which is apparently their name for one of their 473 living rooms, and then--
Umm... Hey, Rubes...? The fuck is this?
Ruby casually pans around the "snug" to reveal she owns a child's primary school desk and it's kept up the corner so she can pretend to be a nine year old in detention.
If that weren't unsettling enough, Ruby opens the fucking thing to reveal that she's adorned it with Harry Potter clippings and stocked it with childish items such as a Matilda pencil case.
Without a trace of irony, sarcasm or self-awareness, she proudly says that her new desk organisation "genuinely looks SO good".
Ruby is a twenty-one year old woman. She bought a child's bed. Dresses like a child most of the time. Reads children's books exclusively. She idolises fictional children and tapes their photos all over her walls. And now this. Adopting the lifestyle of a prepubescent child is not a fun personality quirk. It's a creepy-as-fuck sign of serious mental instability.
Ruby claims that some of the desk's contents are her mum's. Not buying it, Ruby.
It's suddenly a new day, but old habits burn bright - quite literally - as Ruby goes pyro again.
After narrowly avoiding setting something on fire again, she says she's finishing off Vee Kativhu's book 'Empowered'. It's taken her so long to (pretend to) read it because she was simply too busy with (pretending to read) Christmas literature and poetry, which can only be read in December. According to Goodreads, the only other thing Ruby read (or pretended to read) in December besides Vee's book was A Tale of Two Cities.
But let's go back to Goodreads for a second.
Firstly, this review is terrible, and if this is the level of critical skill she applies at university, it's a wonder she hasn't failed out by now.
Now, obviously, a Goodreads review doesn't need to be an in-depth critical essay, but this vague, incompetently-written "review" tells almost nothing about the book, and like all Ruby's reviews, seems written by someone who read no more than the cover blurb.
Ruby makes grand, sweeping statements about the book, but gives zero examples.
"She gives practical advice, but also (and more importantly) shares kind and encouraging words."
This sentence could apply to almost any self-help book, and no examples or further details are given, because Ruby clearly didn't read it.
"Elements are heartbreaking (especially since we know and love Vee so much)..." Do we, Ruby? Not everyone knows who Vee is. You might know her because you share the same management team, which is likely the only reason you've written this "review" (and your relationship to Vee is also something you should absolutely be declaring in a glowingly positive review, but you clearly left that part out). But you are not the focal point of the universe. Most people have no idea who Vee is, as evidenced by her book having almost no reviews.
"...and show's why..." And which year of an English lit degree are you in again, Ruby? What's that apostrophe doing there?
"...Vee shows how she turns everything into lemons and then lemonade."
Ruby, the expression "turning lemons into lemonade" is a metaphor for taking a bad situation (a bitter lemon) and turning it into something positive (sweet lemonade). If Vee "turns everything into lemons and then lemonade", you're saying she's taking a good situation, creating her own problems and then fixing them. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Have you considered taking an indefinite vow of silence? Clearly the whole language thing is an uphill struggle for you.
"All young people should read this." That's a bold statement, Rubert. Literally every single young person should read it? Yet you only rated it 4/5? It's almost as though...you didn't read the book, had nothing to say because you didn't read the book, gave the book an overwhelmingly positive review which made no mention of the obvious bias and conflict of interest you have since you know the author, and then took a star off (without anything in the review to justify this lower rating) to pre-empt any claims of this being a shady, fake positive review.
The book could be great, I have no idea. I don't know anything about Vee other than she's an influencer repped by the same agency as Ruby, Jack Edwards (who also gave it an even-more-vague 5 star review without declaring his link to Vee), Eve Cornwell and Jade Bowler.
But I'm instantly suspicious of any book where the cover pull quotes are all from the author's friends/influencer pals. And when all talent repped by the same agency as her, who were all invited to a launch party event and gifted free books, are out there dropping positive reviews without declaring their relationship to her, this makes this whole affair and everyone involved look suspicious as fuck. Vee's book currently has only ten reviews. Two are from her agency peers. They're both glowingly positive, and neither mention their ties to Vee.
That said, this is a Ruby video recap, so let's get back to that.
Ruby marked the book as complete at 3:46am on December 29th...
Now, putting aside the fact that Ruby ain't going to be awake and reading at nearly 4am even if she did read things, here she is, still reading (or pretending to read) the book's final chapters at sunrise on December 29th:
The sun rises between 07:00 and 08:00 in the UK currently.
Make it make sense, Ruby.
Also, please note the "framed" picture to the right of her. Ruby not only seems to think pictures go on the outside of already occupied picture frames, instead of, y'know, inside them...but she's also just slapped a bit of tape in only a couple of corners, so the picture's hanging off. So aesthetic!
After another outfit change, there's footage of Ruby putting her coat and hat on that goes on forever.
And then she goes trudging around in the muddy fields again.
(Pictured: Ruby with all the Pumpkin Productivity customers who received their planners on time.)
And since she's back in the field again, of course we get an obligatory casual magic ramble.
"I LOVE mist. Mist might be my favourite weather, maybe even more than snow. Probably even more than rain, and THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING because I love rain." Why does Ruby do this? Why does every new thing she encounters have to be her FAVOURITE? Same reason she constantly claim she ALWAYS does things she never does: Narcissists and compulsive liars often exaggerate and lie about the tiniest things for attention or just for no reason at all. Everything's a competition, and Ruby always has to win, even if the only other opponent is her last remaining brain cell.
After another outfit change (her third outfit of the "day"), Ruby shows off a sad, tiny piece of toast and a small, Shrek-green smoothie.
She manically points and flails her hand around like she's trying to perform a magic trick. It's partially effective: She's made her integrity disappear.
She eats her tiny, portion of toast and then reveals she's drinking three drinks at once, because that's entirely normal and not at all a bizarre substitute for actual food. In addition to her smoothie, she also has a cup of tea and a glass of water.
Then it's time for her to work on that Dickens essay she cast aside the day before.
"It's nine thirty...let's get cracking," she says, with zero enthusiasm.
She eats a tiny orange/satsuma and makes a point to shove a clock in the frame for a time-lapse.
Why would anyone do this, unless they're trying to prove something or impress someone? They wouldn't. It also means nothing, since clocks can be easily adjusted to show whatever time you want. But clearly Ruby's been reading Tattle and getting defensive.
"I've responded to some emails," she says. Only a month late with those Pumpkin Productivity emails, huh?
She's also going to subject another family member to a meandering thankyou card.
Ruby's family every time they get post:
This time she's going to pad out the card by sending her granddad a framed photo. Now, remember the part where she displayed a baffling inability to use photo frames?
Well, she hasn't exactly improved with time.
She places the frame face-down on the desk. Takes off the back of the frame. Puts the photo in. So far so good!
Now all that's left is to pop the back cover back in, and--
For some reason, instead of doing that, Ruby decides the pick the entire thing up by its unsecured glass pane. Why? I have no fucking idea. But the whole thing collapses in her hand and falls apart and then she abruptly cuts away.
Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.
"I wrote a card to a...com-pany THAT..."
"I wrote a card to a...com-pany THAT...parcel to my granddad."
Ohhh, "accompany"...
You really out here just using language any which wrong way you feel like, huh, Ruby?
Ruby inserts bizarre pauses and alien cadence into her sentence and still pronounces it "a-com-panny", not "a-cum-panny".
After mangling the English language some more, she moves on to just general stupidity.
So...Ruby apparently has essays to write. And she also keeps going on about how much she values time with her family. And here she is, alone in her room, writing up notes in Notion for Vee's book for herself. A book she didn't actually read.
She appears to be flicking through the pristine, unread book, grabbing random passages and transcribing random "thoughts"/quotes into Notion. Who is this for? What purpose does this serve? I mean, her Goodreads review certainly didn't benefit from any of this. Why's she treating the random book she was gifted and pretended to read like it's an essay?
She even whips out the clock to show off how much time she claims to be wasting on this performative insanity. It's staggeringly stupid.
Then she moves onto her "New Year's Resolutions", which she wrote in November.
As a tribute to Ruby, I'll recycle my comments for this page from back when she first unveiled it. Although, since I'm being honest about it, that's not very Ruby at all. Whoops.
She evidently has no clue what the word "yearly" means, since two thirds of this "yearly planner" section is taken up with space to detail your wish list for life in five years or just the distant future.
Ruby has filled hers with goals that are either laughably unattainable (for her, at least) or where the bar is so low that it'll be hard not to accomplish ("Publish an article "somewhere"" - y'know, like a blog. Done! "Read Emma by Jane Austen" - Ruby will read the Sparknotes summary and mark this done.)
She's also set herself up for disappointment by expecting a first for her degree, even though she's struggling to meet deadlines or come up with even a basic foundation for her dissertation. Good luck with the Masters thing, Ruby!
Ruby thinks she can get a book deal, even though her dwindling popularity and vanishing relevance takes her out of the running for a vanity book deal, and no way can she get one on her own merits. Considering her lack of talent, her inability to use language coherently and the book she self-published being a major red flag to publishers, I wouldn't count on this happening, if I were her.
"Work with an anti-bullying charity."
Why this is still on her list after the anti-bullying week disaster (any proof that any of the ad revenue for those videos went to charity yet, Ruby?) and her own fabricated history of bullying is a mystery, but she should probably avoid walking through that PR minefield again.
"Tangibly promote letter-writing"? What nonsense is this?
After the old resolutions, she adds some more.
- "Read more selectively." Ruby doesn't read anything as it is, aside from children's books. That's about as selective as it gets already.
- "Try and declutter significantly." This is on her list every year. Her home is always a shithole and nothing changes.
- "Develop a better night routine." What is her obsession with night routines?
- "Donate 10% of everything I earn." This has been suggested to her countless times on here whenever she gets all preachy about charity while doing nothing charitable. She won't even give charities back the money she took from them. She ain't going to give them her own money, too. The fact that she's put this as a future goal instead of just doing it right away with nothing stopping her is as big a sign as any.
- "Do more charity work/volunteering." Another suggestion that's been thrown at her on Tattle. She won't actually do this. She will move the goalposts, consider a reposted Insta story to be "charity work" and consider this done.
"Fully enjoy my last term." This year, Ruby has avoided campus as much as possible, complained about how much she hates studying on campus, is constantly falling behind with uni work and has generally appeared miserable at uni. Off to a great start, Ruby! Remember the "academic resolutions" she set (go home less, embrace uni culture, etc.) and gave up on in a day? This is that again.
"Send articles to magazines and competitions." Ruby employing the "If I send my drivel literally everywhere, someone will eventually read and publish it!" desperation approach.
"Work with Royal Mail." This doesn't mean Ruby will actually do any work or attempt to get a job at Royal Mail (or anywhere). She will just try to court a partnership deal for them to pay her to made shit-quality paid ads where she offers "Did you know?" historically inaccurate facts about the postal service and letter writing.
"Get a first for my degree." Why? This is out of your control, Ruby. Just put "Work to the best of my ability" and be happy with what you get instead of peddling this nonsense to people. And since you regularly cut every corner you can to avoid doing the work, a first isn't something you're entitled to or deserve.
Her 'Things to Do in 2022' list is a similar mix of 'can't fail' tasks, obvious shit that she needs to do anyway ("Complete my dissertation"? You need to do that anyway to graduate, Ruby) and pie-in-the-sky bullshit that will never happen.
"Publish a book"/"Release an audiobook". Never going to happen unless she self-publishes again.
"Solo travel to Rome". This will be like that "solo trip" to Devon, where she'll go with her family and do everything she can to hide their presence on social media to make herself seem more independent.
"Sort out library in full"/"declutter the loft" these are both rooms in her parents' home. Not only will she not bother doing these, but it's a sign that she has zero intention of even considering moving out after graduation if she's planning on claiming two more rooms as her own.
And then another walk in a field, this time with her cousins, mother and aunt.
Ruby shouts to get their attention. "Wooooo! Smile everyo--"
As everyone but her mother glares at her with confusion, she abruptly and awkwardly cuts away.
The video's almost over but the stupidity's not finished yet!
After yet another outfit change, Ruby mentions that she takes lots of screenshots to remind herself of things on her phone. I'm not sure how this is supposed to work as a reminder system, and evidently neither is Ruby, as she forgets about all the screenshots she's taken. So now she's going through over a month's stockpile of forgotten screenshots and transcribing what she thinks they might've been for into Notion.
So alongside her complex, pointless busywork system of using dozens of concurrent paper and digital planners and so on alongside Notion, Ruby also uses this screenshot system that clearly doesn't work. Isn't there reminder sections in your planner for this, Ruby?
Note that Ruby is always obsessed with finding a new morning and night routine (even though they always stay the same) yet never once considers streamlining her bullshit system of numerous redundant planners that wastes most of her day with busywork. And then she wonders why she's always late for things, always falling behind on work and never has time for anything.
What a fucking dipshit.
Happy New Year, everyone!
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Ruby needs herself some new money for rainhats, so it's time for yet another sponsored ad video!
Ruby's Notebook is clogging up the Pumpkin Productivity warehouse and they can't even shift that overpriced junk even with a discount. Ruby's going to give you the hard sell, though, and really pitch that bad boy with renewed vigor. It's an academic essential! Built from the ground up by Ruby, for Ruby! It has dotted pages, which are the best for taking notes! Which is why she doesn't touch that shit herself and uses a Rhodia lined notebook instead:
Ruby starts her weekend by writing letters to her mum, dad, granddad and "friend". Either she's slipping notes under Blakeney's door every morning or her "friend" is the same person she sent her "autominal" card to: Herself.
She'll be seeing her parents in mere days, went on a Devon holiday with them days before this video and sent her mother letters only days before that. Ruby claimed she'd be spending less time at home this year, but clearly doesn’t realise that spending the majority of your time away from home in direct communication with the people at home all day every day isn't much different than just going home.
I'm not sure what eventful things Ruby believes happen to her in the scant 48 hours between letters, but I hope she includes these riveting adventures in her videos one day as opposed to the half-assed recycled crap she usually throws together. Evidently her parents don't actually talk to each other as Ruby feels the need to sent them separate update letters.
Her grandfather has precious little time left on this earth, and I'm sure there's much better things for him to do with his dwindling lifespan than suffering through Ruby's indecipherable handwriting and inane drivel before he shuffles off this mortal coil.
Ruby writes exactly zero letters to Martha.
"Today's video is kindly sponsored by NordVPN," Ruby says, wagging her finger in the internet's face. According to Rubes, NordVPN "allows you to change your VPN address", which misexplains the service and assumes people have VPN connections by default. Don't go off script when talking about things you clearly never use, Rubert.
"It's currently...(Ruby takes a short break to figure out what time she's supposed to be pretending it is)...nine o'clock," she says, surprising herself.
Ruby informs us that she has decided to start cycling to campus, or at least pretending to. "And YES," Ruby snaps, she did go see her parents after saying she'd be avoiding rushing home every 5 seconds. But this was only because it was on their way. It's just a complete coincidence that "on their way" was to a place just next door to Ruby. And it was for an important family birthday gathering! So important that Martha didn't get an invite.
Not only did she drag her parents to Devon for a holiday to keep her separation anxiety at bay, she made them drag a hefty bike with them so she can make believe that she uses it.
It's time for outfit two already, and Ruby makes sure to show off the bike helmet that was conspicuously absent from every 'outfit of the day' in her last video where she pretended to have cycled to uni.
Her dark macademia/Victorian chambermaid aesthetic has gone right out the window: No vintage basket-fronted cycle, no penny farthing - she rides a mountain bike.
She also has no clue what she's doing or where she's going. Perhaps if Ruby had spent more than a week in Exeter without fleeing home, she might know the way to campus. Instead she proposes just taking random turns at every junction until she magically arrives at uni, which is a great way to end up mired in a ditch by a roadside several towns away from your intended destination.
Ruby manages to make it back home, but not without injury. Her nails look disgusting and bloodied, and evidently she was kidnapped and subjected to torture by bamboo shoots under the fingernails until she gave up her bank details (she presumably eagerly offered up Martha's money and/or life in place of her own).
She also pulls that pained squinting face that she now makes whenever she needs to remember what time she's supposed to be pretending it is or how long she needs to make-believe that she did something. It's become like a gambler's tell.
In this case she lies that she cycled for "about twenty minutes?", which doesn't line up with her claim that she went on an exploratory journey of blind turns through undiscovered streets to wind up a street away from campus and then travel back. So clearly she just filmed herself riding to the end of her street then turned straight back.
And since the lies flow like wine in Ruby's vineyard of deceipt, Ruby claims to be on her third outfit of the "day".
As she shows off in her grime-covered mirror, Ruby wears her favourite nun blouse with a half-cape hanging off the back of it like she's the world's lamest, preachiest superhero. It's from "ASS-thetic-a London", which still isn't the right company name, but she's at least consistent in getting it wrong.
Ruby drones about how super-duper sustainable and amazing it is, recreating her comments almost word for word from her last video. And like last time, at no point does she mention that this shirt she's gushing over is a gifted product.
Ruby claims she's going to get started on work in a second. You'd be forgiven for collapsing with shock at the thought of Ruby getting a job, but she just means she's going to copy the Sparknotes for David Copperfield into Notion and pretend she read it for herself.
But she needs to set the mood first, so she creates some fire hazards with her super sustainable gas-filled lighter:
Ruby says that it's nice to change up music choices rather than listen to the same things on repeat. She says this while subjecting her viewers to the same three songs she's used in every video for the past few years.
It's been a while since Ruby tried to convince everyone that her nails aren't always a chipped, dirt-encrusted mess, so she tries that again. Since she's very out of practice and malnutrition has ravaged her coordination, she immediately knocks nail polish remover all over the place.
As the fumes consume her already addled brain, Ruby attempts to mop up the spill with a towel and then with her laptop for some reason.
Eventually insanity completely takes hold, and she starts polishing the top of her laptop with nail polish remover applied to a soiled, disgusting rag:
Minutes after knocking highly flammable liquids everywhere, Ruby finally blows out the candles that are burning.
Ruby then pretends to do laundry, since her constantly showing off dirty, unironed clothes was apparently generating too much Tattle discussion to go unchecked. Rubes fumbles with the controls and opens and closes the washing machine door, then gives a thumbs-up to signify that she's happy with her charade and she won't have to pretend to do that again for a while:
You might be wondering what happened to last video's claim that she hand washes everything in uber-sustainable laundry soap. Stay tuned for the next video, where Ruby yells, "And OF COURSE, I ALWAYS hand-wash my clothes" while pretending to hand-wash clothes in a kitchen sink full of dirty dishes and discarded carrots.
Just a few videos ago, Ruby was claiming that vlogging in public is too awkward for her, but apparently she got over that as she's now ignorantly walking through Exeter's busy town centre not looking where she's going, narrowly avoiding slamming into people and subjecting the city to her shrill "Look at me!" insanity.
It's just a matter of time before the townsfolk gather their torches and pitchforks and chase her back to her parents.
Ruby explains that she had brunch with a friend who she met when she was 14, but hadn't realised that the friend in question also went to "AXE-eter". It's painfully clear that this friend had successfully managed to avoid Ruby for years up until they outran their luck and bumped into Ruby on campus. Now they'll be stalked and harassed endlessly by her. Ruby optimistically/threateningly says they'll get together again soon. Meanwhile this friend is currently fleeing the country or planning to fake their death.
After rambling manically about Bird & Blend, Ruby crams in some more undeclared advertisements, this time for Perkier bars, which she claims are her favourite, and she (big shock) neglects to mention were a gifted product.
Ruby shows off her schedule for the day, in which she's rewarded herself for things that clearly haven't happened:
After that, all the recent talk on Tattle of Ruby's abysmal hygiene, lack of cleanliness and love of filth and germ hit a nerve, so it's time for her to feign being clean with some half-assed "chores". These do not involve cleaning her disgusting mirror or dusting anything whatsoever.
Ruby shows off her YouTube window and the recommended/partially watched videos are nothing but dieting/thinspo videos.
She says she loves David Copperfield because she loves the sections about childhood, because of course she does. She also loves the use of "superperlatives" which are apparently like superlatives, but extra super.
Ruby lies about how long she was doing something for again and has another seizure as a result:
And then in a new feat of editing laziness, Ruby inserts a title card with no title on it. Just a random, blank green screen for no reason:
After that, Blakeney appears and they are making butternut squash soup for a "kyozy" movie night and eating squash skin, which sounds rancid, but to each their own, I guess.
Blakeney has bought a mini pumpkin and named it Gavin. She keeps trying to place it on its side on the windowsill, but Ruby isn't having any of this nonsense. This is no time for whimsy, not when "autominal" aesthetics are on the line. Remember, it's important that we normalise embracing our inner child and doing silly things, but not when it clashes with Ruby's decor. After editing out a rant at Blakeney, she rants at the audience about the proper way to display a pumpkin.
Ruby also bought Blakeney some sushi, because she thought she'd never tried it before. It turns out she has, and Ruby can barely hide her wounded betrayal, and almost snatches the sushi away and bins it.
Remember in the last video where Ruby claimed she always dresses like she's going for a job interview in the 1800s, even on a lazy Saturday?
Here we see what utter bullshit that was, as she wears regular pyjamas, and a house coat seemingly pilfered from the corpse of her dead great-grandmother.
Ruby seems almost like a normal person when she's with Blakeney, which is a shame, since Ruby always makes sure to edit out or talk over anything Blakeney has to say so that nobody else claims the spotlight but Ruby.
"I never used to watch television," Ruby says in a fake pensive voice. And she still doesn't, but this video is sponsored by NordVPN and she has to pretend to use Netflix to advertise it, after which, she'll never watch TV again until the next sponsored video.
Ruby's Notebook is clogging up the Pumpkin Productivity warehouse and they can't even shift that overpriced junk even with a discount. Ruby's going to give you the hard sell, though, and really pitch that bad boy with renewed vigor. It's an academic essential! Built from the ground up by Ruby, for Ruby! It has dotted pages, which are the best for taking notes! Which is why she doesn't touch that shit herself and uses a Rhodia lined notebook instead:
Ruby starts her weekend by writing letters to her mum, dad, granddad and "friend". Either she's slipping notes under Blakeney's door every morning or her "friend" is the same person she sent her "autominal" card to: Herself.
She'll be seeing her parents in mere days, went on a Devon holiday with them days before this video and sent her mother letters only days before that. Ruby claimed she'd be spending less time at home this year, but clearly doesn’t realise that spending the majority of your time away from home in direct communication with the people at home all day every day isn't much different than just going home.
I'm not sure what eventful things Ruby believes happen to her in the scant 48 hours between letters, but I hope she includes these riveting adventures in her videos one day as opposed to the half-assed recycled crap she usually throws together. Evidently her parents don't actually talk to each other as Ruby feels the need to sent them separate update letters.
Her grandfather has precious little time left on this earth, and I'm sure there's much better things for him to do with his dwindling lifespan than suffering through Ruby's indecipherable handwriting and inane drivel before he shuffles off this mortal coil.
Ruby writes exactly zero letters to Martha.
"Today's video is kindly sponsored by NordVPN," Ruby says, wagging her finger in the internet's face. According to Rubes, NordVPN "allows you to change your VPN address", which misexplains the service and assumes people have VPN connections by default. Don't go off script when talking about things you clearly never use, Rubert.
"It's currently...(Ruby takes a short break to figure out what time she's supposed to be pretending it is)...nine o'clock," she says, surprising herself.
Ruby informs us that she has decided to start cycling to campus, or at least pretending to. "And YES," Ruby snaps, she did go see her parents after saying she'd be avoiding rushing home every 5 seconds. But this was only because it was on their way. It's just a complete coincidence that "on their way" was to a place just next door to Ruby. And it was for an important family birthday gathering! So important that Martha didn't get an invite.
Not only did she drag her parents to Devon for a holiday to keep her separation anxiety at bay, she made them drag a hefty bike with them so she can make believe that she uses it.
It's time for outfit two already, and Ruby makes sure to show off the bike helmet that was conspicuously absent from every 'outfit of the day' in her last video where she pretended to have cycled to uni.
Her dark macademia/Victorian chambermaid aesthetic has gone right out the window: No vintage basket-fronted cycle, no penny farthing - she rides a mountain bike.
She also has no clue what she's doing or where she's going. Perhaps if Ruby had spent more than a week in Exeter without fleeing home, she might know the way to campus. Instead she proposes just taking random turns at every junction until she magically arrives at uni, which is a great way to end up mired in a ditch by a roadside several towns away from your intended destination.
Ruby manages to make it back home, but not without injury. Her nails look disgusting and bloodied, and evidently she was kidnapped and subjected to torture by bamboo shoots under the fingernails until she gave up her bank details (she presumably eagerly offered up Martha's money and/or life in place of her own).
She also pulls that pained squinting face that she now makes whenever she needs to remember what time she's supposed to be pretending it is or how long she needs to make-believe that she did something. It's become like a gambler's tell.
In this case she lies that she cycled for "about twenty minutes?", which doesn't line up with her claim that she went on an exploratory journey of blind turns through undiscovered streets to wind up a street away from campus and then travel back. So clearly she just filmed herself riding to the end of her street then turned straight back.
And since the lies flow like wine in Ruby's vineyard of deceipt, Ruby claims to be on her third outfit of the "day".
As she shows off in her grime-covered mirror, Ruby wears her favourite nun blouse with a half-cape hanging off the back of it like she's the world's lamest, preachiest superhero. It's from "ASS-thetic-a London", which still isn't the right company name, but she's at least consistent in getting it wrong.
Ruby drones about how super-duper sustainable and amazing it is, recreating her comments almost word for word from her last video. And like last time, at no point does she mention that this shirt she's gushing over is a gifted product.
Ruby claims she's going to get started on work in a second. You'd be forgiven for collapsing with shock at the thought of Ruby getting a job, but she just means she's going to copy the Sparknotes for David Copperfield into Notion and pretend she read it for herself.
But she needs to set the mood first, so she creates some fire hazards with her super sustainable gas-filled lighter:
Ruby says that it's nice to change up music choices rather than listen to the same things on repeat. She says this while subjecting her viewers to the same three songs she's used in every video for the past few years.
It's been a while since Ruby tried to convince everyone that her nails aren't always a chipped, dirt-encrusted mess, so she tries that again. Since she's very out of practice and malnutrition has ravaged her coordination, she immediately knocks nail polish remover all over the place.
As the fumes consume her already addled brain, Ruby attempts to mop up the spill with a towel and then with her laptop for some reason.
Eventually insanity completely takes hold, and she starts polishing the top of her laptop with nail polish remover applied to a soiled, disgusting rag:
Minutes after knocking highly flammable liquids everywhere, Ruby finally blows out the candles that are burning.
Ruby then pretends to do laundry, since her constantly showing off dirty, unironed clothes was apparently generating too much Tattle discussion to go unchecked. Rubes fumbles with the controls and opens and closes the washing machine door, then gives a thumbs-up to signify that she's happy with her charade and she won't have to pretend to do that again for a while:
You might be wondering what happened to last video's claim that she hand washes everything in uber-sustainable laundry soap. Stay tuned for the next video, where Ruby yells, "And OF COURSE, I ALWAYS hand-wash my clothes" while pretending to hand-wash clothes in a kitchen sink full of dirty dishes and discarded carrots.
Just a few videos ago, Ruby was claiming that vlogging in public is too awkward for her, but apparently she got over that as she's now ignorantly walking through Exeter's busy town centre not looking where she's going, narrowly avoiding slamming into people and subjecting the city to her shrill "Look at me!" insanity.
It's just a matter of time before the townsfolk gather their torches and pitchforks and chase her back to her parents.
Ruby explains that she had brunch with a friend who she met when she was 14, but hadn't realised that the friend in question also went to "AXE-eter". It's painfully clear that this friend had successfully managed to avoid Ruby for years up until they outran their luck and bumped into Ruby on campus. Now they'll be stalked and harassed endlessly by her. Ruby optimistically/threateningly says they'll get together again soon. Meanwhile this friend is currently fleeing the country or planning to fake their death.
After rambling manically about Bird & Blend, Ruby crams in some more undeclared advertisements, this time for Perkier bars, which she claims are her favourite, and she (big shock) neglects to mention were a gifted product.
Ruby shows off her schedule for the day, in which she's rewarded herself for things that clearly haven't happened:
After that, all the recent talk on Tattle of Ruby's abysmal hygiene, lack of cleanliness and love of filth and germ hit a nerve, so it's time for her to feign being clean with some half-assed "chores". These do not involve cleaning her disgusting mirror or dusting anything whatsoever.
Ruby shows off her YouTube window and the recommended/partially watched videos are nothing but dieting/thinspo videos.
She says she loves David Copperfield because she loves the sections about childhood, because of course she does. She also loves the use of "superperlatives" which are apparently like superlatives, but extra super.
Ruby lies about how long she was doing something for again and has another seizure as a result:
And then in a new feat of editing laziness, Ruby inserts a title card with no title on it. Just a random, blank green screen for no reason:
After that, Blakeney appears and they are making butternut squash soup for a "kyozy" movie night and eating squash skin, which sounds rancid, but to each their own, I guess.
Blakeney has bought a mini pumpkin and named it Gavin. She keeps trying to place it on its side on the windowsill, but Ruby isn't having any of this nonsense. This is no time for whimsy, not when "autominal" aesthetics are on the line. Remember, it's important that we normalise embracing our inner child and doing silly things, but not when it clashes with Ruby's decor. After editing out a rant at Blakeney, she rants at the audience about the proper way to display a pumpkin.
Ruby also bought Blakeney some sushi, because she thought she'd never tried it before. It turns out she has, and Ruby can barely hide her wounded betrayal, and almost snatches the sushi away and bins it.
Remember in the last video where Ruby claimed she always dresses like she's going for a job interview in the 1800s, even on a lazy Saturday?
Here we see what utter bullshit that was, as she wears regular pyjamas, and a house coat seemingly pilfered from the corpse of her dead great-grandmother.
Ruby seems almost like a normal person when she's with Blakeney, which is a shame, since Ruby always makes sure to edit out or talk over anything Blakeney has to say so that nobody else claims the spotlight but Ruby.
"I never used to watch television," Ruby says in a fake pensive voice. And she still doesn't, but this video is sponsored by NordVPN and she has to pretend to use Netflix to advertise it, after which, she'll never watch TV again until the next sponsored video.
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