ruby granger : Most liked Posts

Little tidbit from her new video - she mentioned having a therapy session in the evening/late afternoon. Good for her tbh.

Also very much OT and TW for death my mother passed away sometime this morning - I went to her place around noon because the nurse hadn’t been able to get hold of her, and she had dozed off on the sofa and just slept peacefully away. It was all we could have wished for, it was a long battle and cancer really does blow. I def don’t want to hijack the thread so reacts over comments pls, I just thought since I’m here a lot and have spoken about the situation before, I wanted to let you lovely peeps know. I plan to keep on snarking as usual.

Even though it's still two days away from Christmas, Ruby has decided to let us have a present early, gracing us with another 15 minutes of embarrassing cringe.



She establishes her festive scene, showing that her windows are as fogged with condensation as her brain, and the gifted flowers on her windowsill wilt away just as fast as her career prospects.

"Hallo, it's Roobee, and tyooday oiy'm gyowing tyoo bee dyooing some...Victorian Christmas traditional...things," she says with an unusually glum tone, having clearly put a lot of thought and effort into this video.

This lack of effort shows no signs of stopping as Ruby proclaims that "the Victorians are credited with creating the modern Christmas" without offering any further details.



Ruby has her own traditions, though, which include:

• Sitting in filth and squalor.
• Starting fires.
• Pretending to read.

She ticks all boxes at once as she scoots around in her pyjamas on the disgusting ash-covered hearth in one of her numerous, equally squalid living rooms, starts a fire burning and flicks through a book she'll never read a chapter of, let alone finish.

Ruby starts on a manic, wide-eyed, hand-waving ramble about how the Victorian Christmas was all centred around gathering by the fireplace and reading ghost stories (or "GO-sturries!", as Ruby calls them).

The Victorian practice of reading ghost stories isn't something that has really made the transition to modern Christmas and is no longer a widespread festive tradition, so whatever establishing point she was trying to set up is already abandoned entirely with her first example.



Evidently her parents restricted her usual arson attempts to her bedroom, as she moans that the fire in this room is gas, so it's not traditional.

To get into the spooky spirit of Christmas ghost stories, Ruby is reading...a locked room mystery collection.





"These aren't GO-sturries, but it's the closest thing I had in my coll-ack-shun," Ruby says.

Reminder: Ruby owns A Christmas Carol. She claims to have read it at least three times, including in October. She was a panel guest on a live Q&A after a virtual performance of A Christmas Carol literally the day she filmed this. Another reminder: A Christmas Carol contains no less than three ghosts.

But I know what you're thinking - it's not really a scary story, is it? You're right. If only there were a way for Ruby to buy or borrow a spooky Victorian ghost book from a place that she visits often, and then she could read it for this video...



But since nobody has created such businesses yet, I guess she just had to make do with a unrelated book of murder mysteries.





Sorry, I think my internet is playing up, I don't know how those unrelated images got attached.



Ruby complains about how weird it feels to be reading scary ghosts stories at Christmas and not Halloween, even though she's not reading scary ghost stories and doesn't read them on Halloween either.

"BUT...it's good," she says unconvincingly. "And I do like this COLLACK-SHUN."

M.R. James was right there, Ruby.

Sure, a lot of his work was published in the Edwardian period, but most was written and published in the Victorian era. His stories are also a rare example of Victorian-era ghost tales which have endured as a rare Christmas ghost story tradition to this day, which would've tied into the setup you failed to pay off.

The BBC even did a series of adaptations for Christmas over the years. There's even a new adaptation of The Mezzotint due to air on Christmas Eve this year. Hell, the guy who edited the locked room mystery book in your very hand also assembled collections of James's stories. I guess that all would've required a sliver of thought, effort and preparation on your part, though, which we know is never an option.

Ruby practically hurls the book into the trash as she mentions that she's just about to tune in to the live reading of A Christmas Carol.



"This it a prime example of a GYO-sturry which was read aloud around Christmas time. Of course, in A Christmas Carol, Scrooge is visited by three GHOSTS, and so it VERY MUCH incorporates those traditional stories of Christmas, but we also seeee [scrunches fist] MODERN CHRISTMAS STORIES enveloped within this tyoo."



I listened to this several times and it never made any more sense than it did the first time. What babbling fucking nonsense. Reminder: Ruby is in her third year of an English Lit degree.



Ruby sits down to watch the performance in another living room.

She huddles for warmth under several layers with a coat draped over her, while sat next to an open window in the middle of winter.



A true genius at work.

She rambles more nonsense about Charles Dickens being a public performer, but says nothing of merit or value and never approaches a point.

She does her Q&A guest appearance (The Dickens Museum never advertised its guests by name, so some poor bastards sat through the performance and were then assaulted by "HALLO, IT'S ROOBEE!" in return for their £15 fee), but she shows no footage of any of this. If her comments in this video about the story and Dickens are anything to gauge her contribution to the panel by, it was an unmitigated disaster.



Having completely given up on that book she was pretending to read, which had nothing to do with Christmas, Ruby has moved on to writing more Christmas cards. Ruby knows less than a handful of people and has already written 7.2 billion Christmas cards this year, but what's another dead tree in a barren forest?

She says she's already written this person a card, but she's going to write another, because harassment is for life, not just for Christmas. It's her old English teacher, and suddenly all her uni lecturers who were counting down the seconds until Ruby fucks off out of their life all just had simultaneous panic attacks.

Live footage of the Exeter University teacher's lounge:



Ruby rambles about how modern Christmas cards are too related to Christmas and don't have enough weird, unrelated shit thrown in, which explains her approach to this video.

She claims that very few early Christmas cards had traditionally Christmas-themed imagery.



After showing one example, she then struggles to find any more to prove her point, and uses the first Christmas card ever sent as a chief example of this.



Floral decoration. Festive cheer. Families gathered to enjoy food and drink. Vaguely biblical imagery.

Nah, nothing like a traditional Christmas card, eh, Ruby?

Ruby moans that she couldn't find out who coloured the first Christmas card. She wasted her Dickens lecturer's time asking them, because harassing her tutors with endless emails coaxing them into offering her essay ideas wasn't enough, she has to go off-book and bother them with completely irrelevant bullshit, too.

Her lecturer posited that someone probably would've hired a woman to do the colouring, probably telling Ruby the most obvious intuited conclusion to get Ruby to leave them alone. Ruby then treats this as a confirmed fact and goes off on a tangent about how this naturally shows that it's always women doing all the work. I mean, sure - it was the Victorian era. And things haven't changed nearly as much as they should in terms of gender equality even now.

But even a cursory bit of Googling pins down the person credited with the colouring of that first Christmas card to a professional artist/colourer by the name of William Mason. He could've taken the credit for the work of someone else, that's entirely possible. But Ruby said she looked for the details of who coloured it and came up completely empty - not even a name.



She goes on about how colour printing wasn't a thing, so she says she's made a black and white Christmas card and will colour it in. She then holds up her Christmas card components - two of which are printed in full colour.

"Christmas puddings were VERY COMMON on a Christmas card," she chirps smugly, even though she was just saying that most cards featured weird images unrelated to Christmas.

As she's droning on with poorly-researched drivel, we hear pained wailing in the background. It seems the Victorian spectres that haunt her gloomy home just want Ruby to shut the fuck up with this nonsense already. Ruby does not record a second take.



Ruby posts a lip-service disclaimer to sternly remind us not to over-romanticise and simplify Victorian history in this, the latest of numerous videos in which she over-romanticises and simplifies Victorian history.

She drones on about plum puddings for what feels like most of my adult life and never once approaches any kind of a point. Is this my Scroogian Christmas torment? Am I being tortured by the ghost of YouTube present? It sure feels like it.

After rambling about Christmas puddings for hours, she says, "Question: Do you actually like Christmas pudding? Because I think it's really disgusting."

"I think it's more a tradition thing than people ACTUALLY like it," she proclaims. Because if your tastes differ from Ruby's, you're just lying to yourself.

She starts lisping heavily, and like the research for this video, she gives up colouring her card partway through and calls it a day.



She mentions that traditionally, Christmas card messages were very basic and just had a sparse, festive greeting like "Happy Christmas".

So she writes an absolute fucking essay in hers.



What was the name of this video again?



I thought so. Just checking.

"I'm actually getting my byoostuh jab in an hour," she says.



To be eligible for a vaccine booster, you have to have had the first two, Ruby.

For the next tradition, Ruby says she's going to make a handmade Frankenstein-themed bookmark for her mother, because Victorian gifts were traditionally handmade. And this isn't at all just a flimsy means of turning some bullshit she was going to do anyway into content padding for an unrelated video.


(Pictured: Ruby "I don't dyoo art" "Granger" doing art with her art supplies.)



It looks like crap, and she's chosen a picture of Frankenstein's monster that looks more like John Snow with a big forehead.



Ruby rambles more barely-researched crap, this time about Father Christmas.

She's baffled at the idea that people used to leave offerings for Father Christmas instead of just getting things for free, even though this is still a thing.



The concept of giving things away almost breaks Ruby's greed-driven brain, but she powers through and leaves her poorly-made bookmarks on the Christmas tree:




(You and me both, weird ornament.)

She says ACTUALLY, she's going to take them down off the tree until Christmas morning so she won't spoil the surprise. The best way to not spoil anything for anyone is to just throw your children's art project away and give your mum the gift of moving the fuck out.

Ruby says she's going to try out a Victorian gift-wrapping "hack" for wrapping handkerchiefs. She puts on her "Did you know...?" voice and drones some more about some poorly-researched crap, but at this point, as soon as she slips into her pompous "educational" cadence, it just became white noise to me.



"I should have ironed this, I'm sorry," she says, holding up a handkerchief. "If it were an actual gift, I would have!"



Ruby has never ironed a single thing in her life. Clothes she wears. Clothes she advertises. Clothes she shows in professional videos. Clothes she sells on Depop. All crinkled and crease as fuck.



She struggles to figure out how to wrap the handkerchief and has to Google it again. She does, only to reveal that this isn't a Victorian thing at all, but an Edwardian technique. She also discovers that she didn't pay attention to the initial instructions and used thick wrapping paper instead of tissue paper, like she was supposed to.


"pape"

She fails to find any "tissue pape" and just uses the thick wrapping paper instead.

"I'm sorry, this is such a short video," she says, even though this video is 15 painfully long minutes of pointless drivel.

As her failures in this video start to mount up, Ruby starts having a mental crisis.

"I was hoping for this video to be more...formally done like the other Victorian videos I've done*, but I left it too late and so close to Christmas and...unfortunately I don't really have the time to put together a really elaborate video. And also--I guess I COULD, if I prioritised that, but...it's Christmas, and the most important thing at Christmas is being with your family. And I don't want to...NEGLACKT THAT for...making a video..."

(*They weren't.)

And suddenly, like a Christmas miracle, Ruby has convinced herself that this half-assed--nay, quarter-assed video, full of ineptitude, irrelevant bullshit and terrible research, is good enough. Because spending time with family at Christmas, as opposed to every single other week, is more important than putting any kind of effort into the creative endeavour that comprises your primary source of income.

There were other options, Ruby. You could have just not bothered. Or you could have just planned ahead and been better organised. But it's not like you sell stationary to help with that kind of thing.



"You're probably thinking why did I even included this segment of the video, because that did not work AT ALL," she says, holding up her wrapping failure. Don't worry, Ruby. We're thinking that about every segment.

"But the Victorians had so many cool ways to wrap presents!" she yells excitedly. She shows none of those, though, and abruptly cuts to her outro.

After threatening us with the prospect of yet another morning routine on Christmas, Ruby finally puts an end to this, her most woefully inept video in a long time. And that's saying something.

Blakeney, blink three times if you need help.

On the face of it, this is a cheerful, ad-filled home makeover video, but under the surface, there's a dark undercurrent of subtext which focuses on one unfortunate young woman trapped in a toxic, controlling roommate relationship with a wealthy lunatic with the mind of a child.

Ruby: "We bought this rug for £38.99, which is actually really good for a full-size rug!"
Blakeney:


That's the "Sure, Jan" look of someone who absolutely did not agree to overpaying for that cheap-looking, ugly-ass rug, if I ever saw one.

This is also by no stretch of the imagination a full-size rug.



That thing is tiny. We see that Ruby has no grasp of reality, while Blakeney's reaction to Ruby's claims of this tiny, cheap rug being "huge" and "a good deal" show that she knows these things not to be true. Ruby persists anyway. Gaslighting? Possibly. Stupidity? Absolutely.

Ruby: "You should explain this Grape Nuts poster!"
Blakeney: "Well, I quite like the cereal Grape Nuts, and--
Ruby: "--IT'S THE BEST CEREAL IN EXISTENCE!" (Translation: "I had never heard of it before Blakeney mentioned it, now it's part of my identity.")

So, in summary: Make a point of asking roommate to explain something that has a very simple explanation ("I like Grape Nuts so I bought this Grape Nuts poster.") Loudly interrupt roommate multiple times before they can finish a sentence, to assert dominance.
Usurp roommate's favourite foods and claim them as your own, but bigger!

I have included a very scientific diagram of Ruby's apparent relationship to Blakeney, based on everything we've seen of the two together:



Is this Ruby continuing to whittle away at Blakeney's individual sense of self until all she sees in herself is a reflection of Ruby, and vice versa, until the two become one single, inseparable entity in Blakeney's now fractured psyche? We may never know... But I'd say definitely.

In a moment of clarity, Blakeney ponders her escape:



"I could just run. I could just go, while she's distracted. She's too weak and frail to catch up to me. I'd be free. No more butchering of the English language. No more talk of "murials." No more colourful gruel for every meal. ...No...it's too easy... She'll have planned for that... There'll be other chances, Blakeney... Tomorrow brings new light, and with it, new opportunities for escape."

Later, Blakeney mentions how the candlesticks (not "candlestick holders" as Ruby constantly insists they're called) have a lot of heft to them. Blakeney is undoubtedly filing that away in the back of her mind as a potential murder weapon. "The cops would never believe a candlestick could be used as a murder weapon. If someone suggested it, they'd go, "What is this, Cluedo?" and laugh it off. I'd get off scot free."

Moments after Ruby proudly mentions that they'd gone for a chrome, black and red motif when decorating, conversation shifts to a very red utensil pot...
Blakeney: "Ruby doesn't like that red pot, so we had to replace it..."
Ruby: "Ugh, that PINK pot thing is the ugliest thing ever, it has to go!"
Blakeney: "Ruby is always complaining about that red thing."

The pot is clearly red. Blakeney knows that the pot is red. Ruby insists it's pink, despite being corrected. Is this another psychological gaslighting tactic for Ruby to try to mess with Blakeney's head? Is she colour-blind? Both are valid options, but we've already firmly established that Ruby's a moron, so it's also probable that she's just a moron who also doesn't know what colours are.

A hallmark indicator of a controlling relationship is when the dominant partner isolates the other from their friends and family. This can happen subtly over time. Here, Blakeney's family are represented by Fox Costume Girl and Watermelon Dude and their gang of colourful pals, who proudly adorn the fridge. When next we see this fridge following Ruby's enforced makeover, the focus is now a giant photo of Ruby and Blakeney, along with pictures of food and 19th Century randomness. Ruby has successfully pruned away swathes of Blakeney's life to the point where Ruby and her interests take precedence. Fox Costume Girl has been relegated to a back stairwell of Blakeney's life. The rest are gone. Only Watermelon Dude remains. But for how long...?

Stay strong, Blakeney! You can get through this!

Also:

Ruby: "Karma is a wonderful app that I've been using for years!"
Translation: "I've never heard of this thing until they inboxed me with an offer of cash and a video idea, and will never use it again unless further offers of cash are forthcoming, in which case I'll say I was using it all along!"

Ruby bought a child's bath mat/rug. She put it in the living room.

Ruby bought living plants and named them just hours before they moved out and left them alone and unwatered for months. Those plants are already dead.

Erimentha Parker's to do list
Chapter 4

Overview: Chapter 4 is a brief one so I thought I'd recap it today as I have nothing productive to do. It's generally an interesting insight into Erimentha's relationship with adults - her overfamiliarity with staff at the school and how she expects them to be dazzled by her brilliance despite the fact they have a heavy workload and are responsible for several other young people.

She's on her way to the library and mentions she wrote a pamphlet for a teacher and can also give it to Mr Aldridge as there is a historical element. Mr Aldridge needs to attend a support group, this burden is way beyond his remit. By the end of this chapter, I expect Erimentha is That Child discussed over breaded garlic mushrooms at the Slug and Lettuce on a Friday night staff outing.

Erimentha visits the library with a list of texts. Being a lower school girl, she's only allowed to take two books out at a time. Outrageous! Don't they know who she is? The librarian very reasonably asks if the books she has chosen are the right level for her.

Erimentha puts this bitch right in her place, it's the Pretty Woman, "Big mistake, huge!" moment. She tells the librarian she has read A Brief History of Time, making a mental note that she'll be among the first against the wall when the time comes.

It's class time and she decides to do some reading to ignore some of the things her classmates are saying about her in earshot. Mr Aldridge then has the audacity to enter the classroom and make a start. She's delighted at having a desk close to Mr Aldridge so she can converse with him about his Cambodia trip. Will you leave the poor sod alone, this is his private life!

He tells them they need to go to assembly and Erimentha 'stands abruptly' and asks if he's going to register the class?

Excuse me, lady, who put you in charge? If you don't set her right now, Mr Aldridge, this little madam will be responsible for your gastric ulcer. He tells her he has already counted, wishing he had thrown his passport into the Mekong river when he had the chance.

Erimentha briefly talks about how he'd get into trouble with administration for not doing so, but there would be no way of accounting for their bodies should they burn to death in a fire, apparently the most painful way to go. Not gonna lie, Erimentha is beginning to make me nervous, she seems to have thought about this a little too much...

Izzy and Kimberly make some jibes that Erimentha has no friends (this is not fake news) and ask what she's doing for the weekend. She wastes no time haughtily telling them she and a friend are going to be making a working model volcano and will have a much more enjoyable and productive time than them.

Again, I check who is bullying who here. Erimentha believes she's superior to her peers and is entitled to Erimenthsplain to her teachers how to do their jobs. Instead of any introspection into her behaviour over the weekend and maybe working on being a bit more humble, she decides to look up the definition of bullying to give the other's behaviour a label.

----------
Disclaimer: when I was in Year 7, weekends would be spent buying those little bath pearls from the Body Shop, it was the height of cool. I'm not going to yuck anyone else's yum, whatever floats your boat, or erupts your volcano, this isn't meant to be a mean interpretation of the book.

Sorry for been off topic but small human2 arrived at 4.20am Sunday morning she's absolutely beautiful and small human1 is besotted with his little sister

Remind me what month it is? It's January 2022, right? Okay, cool. Just checking. Because if you're exposed to Ruby's videos too often, between her stagnating life and lack of general progress in anything and her very loose grasp of how time works, it's easy to get confused.

I mean, take this video, for instance:



That was uploaded six months ago and filmed months prior to that.

In it, we're treated to the unfathomable stupidity of Ruby desperately trying to come up with ideas for her dissertation and failing miserably. This isn't helped by her...shall we say...unusual method of making a "dark academia aesthetic" the focal point of her dissertation so that she can really enjoy it. No, "unusual" isn't the right term. Utterly fucking moronic is more fitting.

And here we are, over half a year later and nothing has changed.



"I'm gonna call it 'The Dissertation Diaries'," Ruby says, even though that's not what she called it. She went with the title 'The Dissertation Diary (entry one)', showing she still struggles with something as basic as how and when to use capital letters properly and consistently. A good sign for a final year English Literature student planning their dissertation!

She went with the singular usage of 'diary', because let's face it, she'll give up on this shit after one entry.

"The dissertation allows us tyoo fully commit ourselves tyoo studying, lahrning, resaarching something that we're interASTed in?" Ruby says. Ruby isn't actually interested in anything but taking money from charities, pretending to be 12 years old and compulsively lying, which drastically limits her thesis options for an English Lit dissertation, which explains why she's still struggling.



It's in her desperation that she's forced to try new things, like being honest.



I know, I know! I was surprised, too!

Ruby admits to having made no progress since that last dissertation video she made. She also claims she filmed the video "back in the summer", even though it was filmed in spring and sat on her hard drive for months so Ruby could upload it as a "new" video to fill a content drought and obfuscate her drastic weight loss by mixing old and new footage. So she hasn't fully quit lying, but at least she's dipped her toe in an honesty puddle, I guess.

She says she's submitted a proposal and been assigned a dissertation tutor. "BAHHT!" she adds, she's still in two minds about what she wants to write about. She settled on Lewis Carroll's letters for her proposal but now really thinks she maybe wants to do Emily Dickinson's letters instead.



She says she settled on Carroll's letters following a chat with one of her tutors at the time, and because they're "syo inTRASTing" and there's "syo little written about them". She decided not to write about Dickinson's letters primarily because there is so much written already about then.

This is not a good decision for Ruby, of course. She wants to receive praise for bringing something new and original to the academic world concerning Lewis Carroll's letters and is clearly aiming unrealistically for a publishable dissertation. But she needs the opinions and work of other people to prop her up and provide material to cannibalise for her own essays. A dearth of content to steal from does her no favours, because she's incapable of forming insightful or even coherent ideas of her own, hence the crisis of faith.

To help make up her mind, she's going to rehash the questionable research she's already done and narrow down the Carroll letters she wants to focus on if she does "CHEESE" it as a dissertation. "CHOOSE", Ruby. Those circular letters are 'O's. They go "ooooh". That's that sound you make when you see charity money.



If she gets bored of researching, she says, she'll switch to "Ammily Dickinson". This is an unmitigated disaster of planning and preparation and showcases no common sense.

So far she's rambled about how excited she is about letters but has at not point offered up anything resembling a structured topic for her dissertation whichever author she "cheeses". It's just 'Lewis Carroll's Letters: A Dark Academia Dissertation by Princess Ruberculosis Philomopoles Constantinople "Granger"'.



She has to turn her clock around as it's facing out the window, so that the postman can see what time it is when he drops off all the zero replies to Ruby's letters, and be very impressed that Ruby is sat diligently at her laptop while time continues to move forward.

"It's COINDLY...QUARTER TO TAN," she says, and I have no idea if she was trying to say "currently" and failing worse than anyone ever has, or if she was trying to say "kindly", as though the clock she manually adjusted to make it seem earlier than it is granted her an additional few hours out of kindness. Either way, she butchers the word/s mercilessly. Her brain is sludge.

She can't even form sentences and somehow believes that she'll spend this morning tracking down the original manuscripts for Lewis Carroll's letters. What for? Who knows.

Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.


(This picture provides us with a visual metaphor for Ruby's brain: The lights are on and time's ticking away, but nobody's home.)

She points the clock at the camera again for some reason, and then spends half the time-lapse footage wandering her room aimlessly, or just dips out entirely. So productive!

After flicking through the book of Carroll's letters that she already has on her desk, eliminating the redundant need for manuscripts, she dog-ears pages, takes photos of pages and then gives up. She's earned a tea break, apparently.





Though a substantial breakfast would help her stagnant puddle of a brain, she elects to fill up on tea instead, treating us to a view of her nasty, unclean kitchen and kettle.

There's a spattered backsplash of god-knows-what all over everywhere, there's dirty stains all over the kettle and the sink basin is caked in unidentified detritus.

The kitchen counter is sprinkled with filth. Old crumbs and chunks of bread litter the surface. Grime fills every crevice. It's hard to tell with the warped angle of the glass, but there appears to be something in the bottom of her glass teapot.

It's pure squalor.

But we're not done yet!

Ruby pours tea into an unclean cup with has bits of filth in the bottom. I'll optimistically assume it's old tea leaf bits, but even then it's nasty.


We also see from the planner on display that this footage was filmed two weeks ago on Wednesday 19th January.



Ruby brings a baby-sized milk jar with her to add to her tea, only there's a long strand of white hair trailing out of the lid...

In the tiniest font ever, for a split-second, Ruby displays a note on-screen: "yes, there is a hair on the bottle which is slightly digusting haha"

Ahh, living in a swamp and displaying no sense of basic hygience - so funny and quirky, haha! Ruby notes that the hair on the bottle is "slightly disgusting", but all the other nightmarish, squalid filth we just witnessed and see from her on a regular basis is all fine and not worthy of mentioning. Commonplace stuff!


"earl grey *has* to be served with milk!" Ruby the Tea Police offers up a mandate, but mentions nothing about tea being served with a helping of leftover cup-filth and hair follicle additives as she pours the milk with the hair draping into her tea.

Why was this footage even included? What does making tea have to do with her dissertation? Ruby, you can cut things like this, especially when they make you look like a complete swamp troll, living in endless grungy mess. It is not "aesthetic".



Ruby has gone through her book of Carroll letters and "nyoted" (in "Nyotion", OF COURSE) the ones that interest her. The fascinating topics of insight for her include Lewis Carroll wanting people to spell his name correctly in letters addressed directly to him. Definitely worth planning a dissertation around!

This page was created/written on December 20th, so who knows what day this is supposed to be at this point.



Ruby has taken a book titled 'The Letters of Lewis Carroll' out from the library.

"It's got a...thingattheback WHAAAHR it says WAAAHR Cohen found all these letters." Ruby is hoping to track down all the physical locations or online archives of 4,000 of Carroll's letters (and she claims she's aiming to do this in less than two hours, showing that she has no concept of reality).



Why do you need that knowledge, Ruby? Infinitely smarter and more thorough people than you have done much more exhaustive legwork than you ever could to find and compile these original letters.

The smart thing for you to do would be to use the benefit of their work for your convenience. You have all the letters readily available and easily accessible.

What value or added information does finding the original contribute to your undergraduate dissertation, other than the superficial silliness of you acting out your dark academia library exploration adventures? The answer is: None.

I can't see any supervising tutor recommending or encouraging this nonsense. Ruby still has yet to explain why she's so obsessed with finding manuscripts or what she believes it will tangibly add to her dissertation. It's just dumb, needless busywork to make her feel like she's actually doing something productive and not completely floundering with no ideas.



Ruby subjects us to more timelapse footage of her gormlessly glaring at her laptop while Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy plays for the 676,747,893,415th time, because we haven't suffered enough, and it's not just her dissertation that Ruby's bereft of ideas for.



She forgets to point her clock at the screen to prove whatever she thinks she's trying to prove, so that magically appears at the tail-end of the footage.

Ruby explains that she's been unable to find the group of letters she wants to write about because they were sold at auction to an anonymous buyer in 1991. There aren't full manuscript scans, but there are full transcripts and partial scans of the original letters available online. Even though everything Ruby needs is available, she's intent on wasting more time trying to track down the originals.

At this point, it's abundantly clear that Ruby has no clue what the fuck she's doing. She's placed all her dissertation hopes on some wild, pie-in-the-sky dream of becoming a historical detective and being the first person to scan and document Carroll's full letter manuscripts.

Ruby is incompetent in all things. Even if in some magical alternate reality she found and came into possession of these, they'd be destroyed by the stupidity and lack of care she shows in all things. Carroll's letters would be covered in grime, dead flies and inky fingerprints. Ruby would annotate directly onto them with highlighter and pen. She'd spill something on them or burn them and would attempt to recreate them, and it'd be the literature equivalent of this:





In a dubious turn of events, in just half an hour, Ruby has tracked down one manuscript, contacted and spoken with "the people she needs to contact" and located it in Surrey. So with just three months to finish this dissertation and zero progress made, along with all the other work she's constantly behind on, she's proposing a 6 hour round trip to Surrey at some point to waste a day (for herself and her parents, who will be forced to chauffeur her, no doubt) for no reason.

For her "accomplishment", she's rewarded herself with "lunch":




Note the white nail polish. We'll circle back to this later.

After a little more deja-vu timelapse footage, Ruby interrupts for one of her obligatory undeclared ad segments:




The placement and regularity of these snack bar interruptions is so blatant and obvious that I have no doubt that they were gifted.

Ruby has done this before with Perkier bars - shown them as undeclared ads despite being gifted them.

If you were in any doubt, those nu+cao snack bars are £2 a bar. Even someone as irresponsible with her disposable money as Ruby isn't going to pay £2 for a tiny bar from a no-brand company.



The company that makes them also follows a suspicious selection of Sixteenth talent.

These were clearly gifted and this is an undeclared ad.

After a jarring detour into Ruby's ditch of shady undeclared advertisements, we're back on the winding, road of stupidity.



"Then HYAAAHR I was creatinggg a toiymloin of EPPISS-TOLLURY novels using Genia Lee!"



Ruby inserts another ad. She mispronounces "epistolary". She mispronounces the sponsor name by inserting weird pauses with her cringeworthy Emma Watson affectations and "Genially" becomes "Genia LEE!" and Ruby's made them sound like a company that sells low-cal frozen foods. She does not include the sponsor name on-screen to clear things up, because in her mind she hasn't done anything incorrectly.

I guess Genially is some kind of timetable template service. Ruby doesn't explain it well, and the whole idea seems ultimately pointless, since many other programs (which Ruby already claims to use) do this already and much, much more.

I'm not sure who would need this aside from pre-university students tossing together a last-minute presentation handout to make it seem like they'd done more work than they had (which, realistically, is Ruby's headspace all over). And, again, other programs do that already.

"It's really great because it means you can have something really proFASHional and not have to spend very long doing it."



Ruby chooses this point to slap a camcorder overlay on her videos, to show that she usually spends not very long making her videos look as unprofessional as possible.

Ruby wants to make her timeline interactive, for some reason, because she has the mind of a child and if things aren't popping out, making noises or flashing colourful lights at her, she quickly loses interest. Reminder: This is for a dissertation. Her tutor will not be looking at any interactive online timelines. Who is this for? Why is she wasting time on this?! It's yet another system for superficial busywork in a life filled with it.

She rambles for a while about how you can add "BAHTUNS" (buttons) and it's a flashback to that time she made an entire Notion video in which she droned on about "toggles".

So, remember that nail polish?




Her nails magically become unpainted and dirty.

How'd that happen, Ruby?





An outfit change occurs, in which her nails appear painted, albeit a paler, lighter coat.

She claims she created a timeline presentation straight after her dissertation research time-wasting extravaganza and then had a lecture for her dissertation so went to the library beforehand.

Then there's another outfit change as Ruby wanders the library in search of the second volume of the book she loaned before, but is incapable of figuring out how library organisation systems work.



Her nails have spontaneously regrown their thick coat of white paint:



After Exeter University and Ruby come the focal point for a strange temporal phenomenon that causes time to run non-linearly, it's time for a new day.



She starts this day with tea (OF COURSE) and the kettle somehow looks even grimier than before. She fills a cup, spilling hot water everywhere.

Then, more timelapse footage of clocks.



Ruby blurs out the bottom right of the screen - evidently she had something incriminating on display in the background.

She says she's spent the morning working on her dissertation by emailing Rugby School to enquire about their manuscript archives. Rugby is halfway up the country from Exeter. Basically, Ruby wasted another morning on shit that won't benefit her in any way.

Then, yet more timelapse footage! 80% of her videos are timelapse footage of clocks now.



Ruby neglects to put the date on her timetable to help obscure her lies about the timescales of the video.

She's not too careful though, as the time on her laptop lock screen shows that it's magically gone from around 10:30am to nearly 5pm:



Visibile on her homescreen to-do list is "personal goal: always have painting nails", which is a silly, superficial "goal" that's impossible to complete and especially ironic considering unpainted nails are so often the evidence of her video timescale lies. Plus, she immediately goes on to show her nails chipped, messy and covered inside and out in ink:



Ruby changes and goes for a walk to the Tory grocery mecca of Waitrose and films herself walking like a moron once again:



According to TimeandDate.com, the time of sunset in Exeter on the alleged day in question (20th January) was 16:45pm. Why's it still light outside, Ruby?


Back at her desk, Ruby says she's going to whip out her old year 7 standby technique of a mind map to help her figure out what the fuck she's doing with her directionless disaster of a dissertation. One of the important components, she says, is how her dissertation will "help future scholarship".

Ruby, you fucking donut, just focus on trying to write something that your dissertation tutor can read and understand. You are in no way, shape or form going to be able to deliver a dissertation of publishable quality that future scholars cite and look upon in awe.

This is like saying "My goal is to win the Pulitzer with my writing!" when you have zero idea and can't even come up with a title.

Again, she's been struggling for a whole year and has gotten no further than a vague, barely-relevant topic and she's still wasting all her time with meaningless busywork like timetables, mind maps and daydream academia detective adventures. This dissertation is a disaster.



Ummm, hey, Rubes? How did it get to be 11:37am again?





Ruby annotates and doodles all over a scanned version of a letter, offering such earth-shattering insight as noting that a letter was addressed "dearest", not just "dear", or that a short letter is referred to as "a little note". How will academia be able to compete once Ruby unleashes such incisive explorations of literature into the world?! Pack it up, professors - Ruby's coming for your careers!



Ruby goes to Boston Tea Party to take up a whole table to herself at 14:50, purely so that people can witness the majesty of her pretending to study in a non-academic public place. She's not like other students.

She writes yet another letter for someone to be unable to decipher and never reply to.

She blurs out some faces in the background but not all of them, for some reason.

And that's it for this latest glimpse into the mind of a flailing, lying, malnourished moron who still owes several charities money and has yet to prove that she's paid them a single penny of any of it.

Ruby might've finally found the thing that puts a stop to her critics: Releasing a video so long and undoubtedly full of such brain-melting drivel that nobody but Ruby will sit through this.

She's pulled a Machiavellian switcheroo on us, forcing us to walk a mile in her shoes; Ruby merely skims everything she ever claims to read, and now here we are, faced with a nearly feature-length display of stupid that even the bravest of people will be tempted to merely skip through.

Well, maybe not Machiavellian - like Sun Tzu, Ruby probably pretended to read Machiavelli once and was disappointed that her shrivelled grey matter couldn't find a way to apply any of it to her many scams and charity-swindling schemes.

This is apparently a video in which she reviews the 136 books she "read" in 2021. It's unfortunate that Ruby didn't go with the more accurate working title for the video:



Also for some reason she pretty much recreated the thumbnail from one of her last book recap videos because absolutely everything she does is a recycled, low-effort rehash:



Ruby kicks off the video by begging people to buy her Pumpkin Productivity stationery products. They're still in stock, y'all! Act fast! If you don't buy them now, well...they'll still be there to buy 11 months later!

Considering her other planners sold out in days with the same initial stock levels, the fact that most of her stock this year is still gathering dust in a warehouse isn't good news for ol' Rubes.

When showing off the "verrstahlll" (translation: versatile) notebook she sells, she provides yet another glimpse into the unquantifiable amounts of stupidity and insanity all vying for control of her feeble brain.


She shows off a page in one of her notebooks, which is falling apart despite very few pages being used. Such quality!

In it, she has written a schedule for her ideal Christmas. This is already weird enough, before factoring in that this is a schedule for an imaginary Christmas. This fictional Noel takes place in Heavitree, Exeter. Now, Ruby can't even spend a weekend at her uni house in Exeter, there's no fucking way she's gonna spend Christmas Eve there. And, of course, she didn't - she rushed back home as soon as uni ended on December 14th.

This magical, ideal Christmas Eve afternoon begins with a seminar. Because, for some reason, the most festive thing imaginable to Ruby is Exeter Uni imprisoning its students in mandatory study seminars on Christmas Eve, forcing them to listen to Ruby's incomprehensible filibusters about things she hasn't read or understood, leaving most of them unable to get home to see their families afterwards.

Merry Christmas, everyone!



She then notes that they'll walk into town to get food for Christmas dinner, but adds that they will already have food. So...they're just wasting money to hoard additional food that will go to waste? 'Tis truly the season of good will!


She will then walk around town with a Bird & Blend tea. If it is any other brand of tea, Christmas is fucking RUINED.

Blakeney writing her mandatory apology letter to Ruby and her parents after getting Tetley tea for Christmas Eve:



They will carry their drinks to High Street shops, advertising their Bird & Blend tea to everyone they pass. They have to be High Street shops, even though I'm pretty sure most of those are closed Christmas Eve. If they go to an independent retail location off the high street, Christmas is rendered a smouldering wasteland of festive disappointment.

They will soak everything in, including the icing(?).

After baking gingerbread and having a dance party, then it's time to decorate. Because December 24th is an appropriate time to be putting up Christmas decorations. Also sing carols.



Back home, they will make more Bird & Blend drinks. (As before: Not Bird & Blend = Ruined Xmas.)

They will go outside and assault the neighbours' ears with Christmas carols again for 30 minutes.

After hanging up stockings, Ruby will then write a letter to her favourite person (herself) to open next Christmas.

I don't know what's more strange and worrying: That Ruby actually spends time writing child-like plans like this for imaginary Christmases in her notebooks, or that the best Christmas she can dream up is basically a regular Christmas, only more dull and with sponsored ads.





After her desperate ad for her shitty products that nobody wants, Ruby appears, looking bleary-eyed, like she just woke up, even though it's daytime. Could it be that Ruby didn't wake up at the crack of dawn and actually had a lie-in?! Say it ain't so!

Also her freckles look faker than ever.



She rambles about how it feels like a long time since she filmed, possibly because the last time she filmed anything was a few minutes of footage a weeks ago and has since been laying low and reusing old footage.

Ruby didn't "read" as many books as last year, but she says that's okay, because she read some good books and that's the important thing!

Narrator: "She didn't."

She starts frantically grasping at the air as if she's going to snatch a coherent thought or anything meaningful to say about any of these books she hasn't read.

It's fruitless, of course, and so she warns us that she's probably not going to be saying too much about many individual books. For that, you can apparently go watch her older videos from earlier in the year, where she also gives vague recaps of books she only pretended to read.

And then we get a selection of recycled footage that she's used in many other videos:





That's three different videos with the same footage.

If this is supposed to be an intro montage, then why does she only use it sporadically once every few months in completely unrelated videos?

It's yet another example of Ruby being lazy as fuck and woefully incompetent, so she just grabs random, irrelevant footage from hard drives and sprinkles it in wherever, seasoning an already shitty video with extra pointless stupidity like fucking Salt Bae.



And onto the books:

• A Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett - Ruby reads a very basic cover blurb. "It's one of the myost famous... GARL'S... LITERATURE...BOOKS!"
• Elizabeth Gaskell by Mary Barton - Ruby reads a very basic cover blurb and a Sparknotes-level observation: "In this book she's really exposing just the, like, extAnt of poverty that existed in England, and she puts that NAXT to middle-class people and, like, the mill owners RIGHT BACK-TO-BACK to shyow just how distinct THAT distinction is." Reminder: This is a student who apparently gets consistent first-class essay grades. Weep for the reputation of Exeter University, for it is now in tatters.

Ruby keeps looking off to the side on her desk, and it becomes immediately obvious that she's reading pre-prepared notes/synopses from her laptop. And even then, this barely-coherent drivel is the best she could muster.

Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.

• The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick - Ruby points out that this is an illustrated book meant to resemble a silent film. That's it. She also claims she watched the film. I don't buy it.
• Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte - Ruby claims this was a reread of the book. She claims to have read it multiple times, but the most she has to say is, "I love the Brontes SYO MOCH. They were SYO ahead of their time, like, when you're reading them, you could easily be reading something that was POBlished five years ago." That's probably because she just read the Wikipedia plot summary which was written five years ago.
• The Conference of the Birds: Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs - All she has to say about this is that it's "the fourth book in the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children series". (It's not. It's the fifth. Says so right on the cover, Ruby.) She also says it's "like Harry Potter because you've got, like, the real wahrld and then this, like, fantasy wahrld".

At this point in the video, Ruby starts cranking the speed of her footage to around 1.25x normal speed. It's unbearable.

• "The Painter of Modern Life and Other ASS-ays by Charles Boulder-laire" - "This might be my favourite book of ASS-ays I've ever read." Since she's never read a complete book of essays and certainly didn't break the trend with this one, I'm not sure what her metric is for judging her favourites. Nicest cover, maybe?

She only has anything to say about the title essay (because that's likely the only one she glanced at), and raves about it with manic, wild-eyed, enthusiastic glee because she says it explored "how artists see the world through the eyes of children and how BASICALLY our MAIN GOAL IN LIFE is to GET BACK to that way of seeing things". Every syllable is punctuated by her grasping at the air with a claw-like grip, her head juddering around like a bobble-head strapped to the dashboard of a car driving off-road.

I have no idea if that's an accurate reading of the essay, but it's not surprising in the slightest that Ruby fucking LOVES an essay from a respected, famous philosopher that legitimises and provides any kind of justification for her desire to completely retreat into childhood and become 12 again, even though that doesn't seem to be the point of the essay. Ruby shows zero self-awareness about this, but she will undoubtedly whip out an "ACKSHUALLY...BOULDER-LAIR SAYS..." defence if anyone points out her intensely creepy Peter Pan/Michael Jackson obsession with being a child.

"The only difference between an artist and a child is that an artist is able to articulate that, whereas a child can't," says Ruby, who's never able to articulate anything coherently.

• Aurora Leigh by Elizabeth Barrett Browning - It was somehow only upon reading this poem that Ruby learned that the domestic lives of women have value, too. She offers no further insight other than "It's like the Iliad or The Odyssey".

• The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë - Ruby claims she read this again for the first time since she was 12, but I think she just got confused and meant that she read it for the first time ever and thinks she's 12. And by "read it", I mean "looked up a synopsis online". She says she fell in love with it all over again, and proves this by...um...reading a synopsis she read online (note that her eyeline keeps drifting to the off-screen laptop with the synopsis cued up, and she's unable to get out a complete sentence without several choppy edits). "I love the way it uses a diary narrative a--" Ruby cuts mid-sentence and skips to the next book.

• The Holocaust in American Life by Peter Novick - Ruby rants about how shameful it was that immediately following the holocaust, people didn't have entire days to commemorate and remember one of the most indescribably horrifying events in history moments after it happened. But how were people in the 1940s supposed to bilk people out of charity money if there were no holocaust remembrance charities? Shocking stuff, indeed!

• Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil by Hannah Arendt - Ruby rattles off a cover blurb/synopsis as her dog barks loudly in the background. Again, she has to read crib notes from her laptop, since she didn't read the book.

"I also read tyoo shortsturriesbyyaddgrallenpoe." Her sped-up video and slurred, rushed speech starts to turn her words into nonsensical slurry of colliding syllables. She apparently means to say she read "two short stories by Edgar Allen Poe", although it took at least three rewatches and at half-speed to decipher. YouTube's closed captioning found it equally difficult:

• Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allen Poe - Ruby evidently saw the memes surrounding this story going around online last year, since the only thing she mentions is that it's "GENUINELY syo wahrth reading NOW" because of its parallels to the Covid era. Reminder: When Ruby says "GENUINELY", it means she's lying about something. She didn't read this. She couldn't even recall the name of it and struggles to read the title even off her laptop screen.
• Hop-Frog; Or, the Eight Chained Ourang-Outangs by Edgar Allen Poe - "I also read Hop Frog." That's all she has to say. She gets the title wrong when she flashes it on-screen for an instant.
• The Cry of the Children by Elizabeth Barrett Browning - Ruby conspicuously notes that she "put down" this one on her list rather than read it, making it seem like she compiled a list of books in general rather than was reading a list of books she's actually read and remembered. Her reciting of a general, vague outline of the theme of the story provides no indication that she read this.

At this point, I looked at the runtime and realised there was close to an hour of this shit to go.



Like, why did Ruby make this video? Who did she think it was for? What's the value of a poorly-made, lie-filled video where she just parrots blurbs and study guide insights she read online for books she didn't read? Why not just point people to your Goodreads where they can get the same lies in a fraction of the time?



Generally, when people make a long video like this, it's because the content creator has a lot to say about a specific topic, like a video essay on a book or film. And it's usually done by someone entertaining who you actually want to watch for nearly 80 minutes straight, like Jenny Nicholson, RedLetterMedia or Lindsay Ellis - intelligent people with something insightful and enjoyable to say, or someone like Brutalmoose, who is one of the most talented and creative content creator/editors on YouTube.

This video from Ruby is the equivalent of someone filming themselves reading the phone book, getting most of the names wrong, and then telling you that you're wrong for mishearing her because she knows everyone in the phone book personally and they told her exactly how their name is pronounced, thankyouverymuch!

She brings nothing to the table. No intelligence. No talent. Just an endless rattled-off list of lies without any additional insight. And even removed from Ruby's lies, for most of these books she doesn't say enough for people to be able to think "Oh, that sounds interesting - this lying, puddle-brained fuckwit clearly didn't read it, but maybe I will!" It's just the most worthless video I think she's ever made, and I'm nowhere near done.

• On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong - I have no clue what the fuck she was trying to say about this one. This one seems especially sped-up. "Every single line makes you think about things in a new way." Ruby was apparently re-evaluating her life with every single sentence of this book, yet she can't say anything more than the back cover blurb. She provides no examples and expands on nothing.
  
  
• Bat Wings and Petticoats by Blakeney Clark - Now, this is one I'd believe she actually read. It's a children's book. It has pictures. It's short. That's Ruby's three literary interests all in one. It's also created by her roommate/best friend/stalkee. And Ruby still can't offer anything more than the back cover plot summary.

Reminder: Ruby has shoehorned multiple lie-filled undeclared ads for Vee's book into her videos over the past month. She wrote a glowing review on Goodreads even though she hasn't read the book, purely because her management team (who also represent Vee) asked her to. This isn't a friend of Ruby's, it's just someone who is repped by the same agency. And she got multiple free ads.

Blakeney, on the other hand, is her best friend and all proceeds from her book go to charity, so it's for a good cause, but Ruby had nothing to say about it and couldn't recommend a purchase.

• Sense & Sensibility - Jane Austen - Ruby rants that she fucking hates Jane Austen with a passion that burns so bright you'd think ol' Janey A. came between Ruby and some free gifted candles or something. Ruby says she "likes the idea of liking Jane Austen", which sounds like the kind of shit someone whose entire personality is a superficial, fabricated patchwork of borrowed traits and lies would say.

• Wonderful Adventures of Mrs. Seacole in Many Lands by Mary Seacole - Ruby rambles about how Florence Nightingale was a lazy, overrated shit who probably doesn't deserve the credit people give her. Then she repeats her dumb-as-fuck comments from one of her previous videos: She was disappointed with this memoir, because it didn't have a traditional narrative storyline... Ruby, it's a fucking memoir, not the latest James Patterson book.

• Feeling Sorry for Celia by Jaclyn Moriarty - Ruby didn't like this one because the story wasn't very compelling. Why? Who the fuck knows, Ruby doesn't elaborate. It's a YA book though, so Ruby not liking it probably means that there weren't enough scenes of bullying for her to borrow fake life stories from, or that there were three-dimensional characters and realistic teenage relationships in them, which she doesn't like.

Oh, god, we're only ten minutes in...

• Anne of the Island by L.M. Montgomery - Big shocker: Ruby loves the third book in the Anne of Green Gables series because Anne is at university and so is Ruby, and Anne retains her childlike spirit even at uni!
• Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll - "Don't need to give a synopsis for that; we read this for my Victorian module." Did we, Ruby? I can't believe we all forgot that we spent the past year at Exeter Uni! Your entire audience wasn't enrolled on your Victorian module, Ruby, you fucking donut. Ruby loves this book because of "Carroll's use of nonsense and his, like, use of illustration. He's syo attentive to the process of reading which is what I love about reading Lewis Carroll now."

• The Victorian Girl and the Feminine Ideal by Deborah Goreham - Ruby says she did A LOT of research on Victorian girlhood for her module but this was the only book she read front to back. Admitting you only skim all that critical reading and secondary research you keep bragging about doing is not quite the flex you intended, Ruby. She says, "If you want an overview of Victorian girlhood, then this is the book to read." But then she does that one-eyed squint thing that she always does when she's lying:

• The Nursery "Alice" by Lewis Carroll - Ruby mentions twice that she wrote an essay on this. She says this book is "qwooul" because it tries to teach morality to newborn babies.
• The Coral Island by R.M. Ballantyne - She mentions that this book (which she kept seeing in Waterstones, of course) should have a content warning because of the VARRY uncomfortable racist, colonialist, imperialist content of the story (it was published in 1857). Which is usually the kind of content that Ruby rushes towards, but whatever.

• Introducing Children's Literature: From Romanticism to Postmodernism by Deborah Cogan Thacker and Jean Webb - Ruby reads the back cover blurb, says a "LACK-CHUR-RUR RACK-UMMENDED IT" to her. She struggles to remember what even the basic content of the book is and has to read off the screen again. Definitely didn't read it.
• Health and Girlhood in Britain, 1874-1920 by Hilary Marland - Ruby gushes about this one because it explores the idea that age does not define the boundaries of childhood. Even if you're 21, you can still be a child! You might see a pattern emerging. Ruby just wants to be a child again and loves finding literature that encourages, enables and normalises her desire to live and act like she's 12.

Ruby after reading this book and being asked to act like a responsible adult and get a job:



She still clearly didn't read it fully though, and has to read her laptop screen to know what the rest of the book is about.

• Alice's Adventures Under Ground by Lewis Carroll - "Alice's Adventures Under Ground is a FACSIMILE of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland". Ruby has to stop to look up the pronunciation of "facsimile" (likely after all the criticism she's gotten on Tattle for mispronouncing it endlessly before). Unfortunately she didn't look up the actual meaning of the word while she was at it.

Christ, it's not even fifteen minutes into the runtime yet.



WHY IS THIS SO LONG BUT CONTAINS SO LITTLE?!

If this were any other Ruby video, it'd be over now. It still wouldn't be good, but at least it'd be short. Y'know, like dying in an explosion as opposed to being run over by a steamroller.

• Nature by Ralph Waldo Emerson - Ruby rambles about casual magic nature fetishism. Is it October yet? In Ruby's mind, always. And not just because most of her planners are defective.
• Film and the Holocaust: New Perspectives on Dramas, Documentaries, and Experimental Films by Aaron Kerner - This is a book about "cinematic adaptations of the holocaust". Add "adaptation" to the list of words Ruby doesn't understand. Ruby reads the cover blurb and nothing more.
• Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens - It's a 900 page book. Zero chance Ruby read this. Ruby continues suspiciously reading pre-prepared quotes off her laptop.
• Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami - Ruby positively butchers the author's name. Ruby's thoughts on "HAROOKU MOOROOKARMI"'s book: "IT'S VERY LYRICAL AND I LIKE LYRICAL BOOKS AND CHEESE LYRICAL BOOKS BECAUSE LYRICAL BOOKS ARE LYRICAL AND WHEN I SAY A BOOK IS LYRICAL I MEAN WOW THAT BOOK IS LYRICAL". She loves the book because it interweaves time and different people. Y'know, like every fucking book ever. She did not read this.
• Girlhood by Marianne Farningham - Learn how to be a girl, the Victorian way! Ruby says this is an instruction manual for how to be a Victorian girl and offers no further details.
• Midnight Library by Matt Haig - Ruby says she adores the "CON-SAPT" of this book about branching, parallel life paths and the choices we make, which is weird since in real life Ruby refuses to progress down any path at all that doesn't involve trying to forever be the spoilt child screaming for more presents at her 10th birthday party. "VARRY GUD. VARRY FAST-PACED."
• Alice Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll - Ruby gets the name wrong (she calls it "Alice's Adventures Through the Looking Glass") and has nothing further to say. Not even kidding. She literally just reads the title, gets it wrong and then she's on to the next book.
• The Trial of God by Elie Wiesel - Oh, look, another one about the holocaust.

• People Like Her by Ellery Lloyd - This book is apparently about a social media influencer who presents a fabricated image of perfection but is actually a massive liar who stages everything they show online in order to get more attention and clicks. Without a glimmer of self-awareness, Ruby groans that this character is the worst and a terrible person.
  
  
  

• Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid - Ruby recites the cover blurb and rattles off a couple of very soundbitey, robotic and clearly pre-prepared sentences about the book tackling systemic racism, but this is another case where it seems so rehearsed that, combined with every other aspect of her life and personality, I don't believe for a second that Ruby read this book or cares about racism in the slightest because it doesn't affect her.
• King Solomon's Mines by H Rider Haggard - And on that note, Ruby's entire summary of this is "Like Coral Island, I keep seeing it in the Children's SACK-SHUN at WATERSTONES! But it's VARRY PROBLEMATIC." And that's all.
• Mapping the Holy Land: The Foundation of a Scientific Cartography of Palestine. By Haim Goren, Jutta Faehndrich, and Bruno Schelhaas - Ruby says she read this because there was a map in King Solomon's Mines.

• The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde - "Oscar Wilde is the best writer of all time," Ruby declares. On the topic of Dorian Gray, she says, "It's the idea that when we do bad things, it imprints itself on our physical bodies. If I stole something, you'd be able to see that on my face..."

Okay, I've sufficiently amused myself enough for one day and this shitshow of a video isn't getting any better. I'm tapping out.

To be continued if I ever decide to torture myself for another 60 fucking minutes.

Godspeed to you brave souls who sat through this never-ending nightmare in full, I hope you had your adblock on so Ruby didn't get rewarded for this!

Ruby has new terrible planner and timetable products out, so what better way for her to celebrate than showcasing more than ever what an atrocious timekeeper she is?

We get an opening montage, which features Ruby hunched over her desk in a grandma shawl like a withering old lady.



Same energy:



Next, Ruby harasses Blakeney's study group by shoving a camera in their faces:



I get the impression that whenever Ruby finally leaves Blakeney alone with other people, they all turn to Blakeney and say, "God, you're so selfless to be that strange old lady's carer. Why did she keep saying "Hallo, it's Roobee!" to everyone? Does she have dementia and that's all she can say? That's so sad!"

Next they buy a mini Christmas tree from Waitrose.



This tree is undoubtedly dead now if it wasn't already when they bought it.



She starts her day by chugging a small lake's worth of water from a grimy-looking mason jar glass to repress her body's urge to do anything crazy, like eat food.



Then it's time to start studying before sunrise, even though Ruby likely recorded this footage after sunset to make it look like she woke up earlier than she did.

Ruby's doing "critical reading" because that's all she ever does, and it's easier to read and steal other people's opinions than read the assigned text and think of any yourself.

Ruby: "It's deadline season, so of course I'm struggling to stay on top of things because there's so much uni work!"
Also Ruby: "I'm just annotating poems and doing essay work that hasn't been assigned by uni."



Ruby: "Buy my planners so you can plan your time like me, Ruby Granger: Queen of Organisation!"
Also Ruby: "I'm slightly late."

She cuts a raw bagel in half, doesn't add anything to it, and shoves it in a tupperware tub. Sandy Cohen would not be impressed.



"I say I'm pretty organised," Ruby says, "but I'm always running late." Then you're not well organised, especially not to the point of being a suitable spokesperson for your own planners and timetables. That's just poor time management, Ruby. It's like saying, "I say I never start fires but I do burn down several buildings a week", while being the mascot for a company selling fire safety products.

"I tend to leave for places five minutes after I should and it's because I get distracted by the work that I'm doing." So you wasted a chunk of your morning on "work" that nobody asked for and were late for a uni session you were supposed to be at.

"We had a timetable change and I didn't realise," she says, as she "desperately tries to find the lecture". Room changes are briefed out ahead of time. Note how Ruby doesn't say she wasn't informed. She just didn't realise. And she might have less problems locating things on campus if she spend more than 5 days a month there.

Her life is a mess of disorganisation, that's not news to anyone who's watched her content, with its tantrums and fabricated timelines.

Ruby says she always fills up her water bottle before class because otherwise she gets thirsty in classes and can't concentrate. This isn't thirst. It's hunger. Malnutrition. Ruby's just filling up on water when her body wants food.

After her Life and Death "lack-churr", Ruby harasses Blakeney while she's trying to do work.



Blakeney gives an awkward, polite smile but looks frustrated as she tries to type while being hassled by the pappara-zero shoving a camera in her face.



After a "Yes? Can I help you?" look from Blakeney, Ruby is forced to fuck off and study by herself in the corner.

"Blakeney had something on..." Ruby says, in deep denial, "and I went and studied here instead..."

She points her camera at the sad table in the corner, which is reserved for social lepers and serial stalkers.



"I was just working on an ass-ay." By that she means she was now staring at the back of Blakeney's head like a scorned toddler who got yelled at for trying to piss on the sofa.

Ruby starts placing all her stuff down on the table as loudly as possible, probably to draw Blakeney's attention like a tantrum-throwing baby because she couldn't join in on the study session/work/extracurricular meeting that had nothing to do with her.

After slamming everything down, Ruby starts typing only for her camera to slowly veer to one side and fall over.


Cut to a different angle after Ruby retrieves it from the ground:



"Then I headed to meet Blakeney AGAIN." This is just getting obsessive now.



Blakeney awkwardly smiles at the camera, clearly getting annoyed again and shaking her head at Ruby.

Ruby says they were studying Hard Times and met Blakeney so the could "feed back" on the readings they'd done and had "a little discussion beforehand" so they'd "be ready for the seminar". In other words, Blakeney did a bunch of reading and Ruby copied her notes so she could shove her hand in the air in the seminar with lots of "Actually..." and "Did you know...?" as she parroted quotes from Blakeney's research.



Ruby films herself unzipping her bag for an awkwardly long time, because she's gotta show off that Kanken whenever possible.

Then it's time to cycle home.



Ruby complains about being cold again, surprising nobody. Again, malnutrition ain't helping, Ruby.

"When I get back, I ALWAYS tidy my room," Ruby lies, as she films herself aimlessly wandering around her room in sped-up footage, like that'll somehow hide that zero tidying is happening. She grabs her a tweed jacket from her dusty wardrobe because DARK MACADEMIA.



She "studies" some more then bares her teeth to chomp a small bite out of some overcooked toast.


After that, she cuts to later, where the tweed jacket is gone (probably because it's footage from a different day) and she's preparing a "simple veggie nyoo-dull dish".

"I've got to say, I think this clip is one of the most satisfying ones in the h'yowul video. I just love time-lapse clips syo much," she says with her fake-smiling narration, and it's clear she's lost her mind.



She looks like a bag-eyed corpse. If you saw her wandering at night, you'd likely grab the nearest heavy, blunt object and aim for the brain to send her back to the afterlife.

She clearly finds time-lapse clips satisfying because the element of speed makes it looks like she's doing far more than she is. It's her entire "productivity" routine in microcosm.

There's no evidence that she eats any of the sad swamp broth that she brews.



"After dinner." Note the completely different outfit and hairstyle.



Ruby gets some more arsonry tools. Note the middle finger on the right (her left).



Now note the same finger in footage from "earlier" that day. How did they get repainted and chipped in different ways so quickly, Ruby? *Cough*It'sadifferentday*Cough*

Ruby says that on Mondays, she and Blakeney usually watch films together, but not this day. Probably because it wasn't Monday. Instead Ruby pretends to watch Titanic alone in her "kyozy" room.

Suddenly it's daytime and Ruby's browsing Netflix for Titanic, which she's either pretending to have watched before or is still pretending to watch currently. Time is a jumbled jigsaw piece in Ruby's videos and none of the pieces fit.



It's supposedly one of her favourite films of all time, but she gave up watching less than half an hour through.



Ruby hugs her duvet like she didn't get the memo that Titanic isn't a horror movie.

She pretends to use NordVPN and drones on about its features, but clearly has no idea what they are and is just reading from an ad copy script. But you can access lots of "con-tant" and it's "so, so simple, it takes sack-unds".

After the ad break, it's "Tuesday".

Ruby doesn't get up and brush her teeth and take a shower in this day's "routine", she simply manifests fully dressed in her room at 9:30am.



Then, with a crack of Ruby’s magic sustainable gas lighter, she lights the candle that was already lit, and she's travelled back in time to 9:15am.



Ruby has a "YouTube-related call". It's probably the content police, issuing her a verbal warning for crimes against editing.

Then she reads through an "ass-ay" submission, and this is definitely the face of confidence:



Ruby notes that she "read it aloud to make sure it's coherent". That's never worked for anything else she's ever said out loud, but there's a first time for everything, I guess.

She complains that she's cold yet again. No breakfast is eaten.



Ruby heads into town where she shops at Bird & Blend yet again despite having a stockpile of hoarded teas. Then she shamelessly advertises Waterstones yet again, ever courting that elusive sponsorship that'll never come.



She films herself putting on a new jumper, as if this'll make it believable that she spontaneously changed outfits in the middle of the evening and this isn't just a different day entirely.

Then she claims to tidy. All she does is fumblr with her desk, check her phone and walk across the room, but Ruby's new obsession with time-lapse video makes her think this'll fool people into believing much busy stuff happened.



After pretending to properly clean the kitchen in another time-lapsed segment, she says she and Blakeney had a "kyozy" evening making "paper s'nyo-flakes" while sat all over their horrifically unclean floors and Ruby does her best Gollum impression.



Judging by her recent Google searches, this failure at arts and crafts was a major blow to her ego.

Then Ruby plays with a hot bottle and screams quotes from A Winter's Tale at Blakeney in her cringeworthy "acting" voice, but seems to mix up two completely different sections of the play ("Tyoo hot! Tyoo hot!" Ruby yells. "Over head and ears a forked one!")



At barely 21:30 at night, Ruby gives up for the day and it's suddenly "Wednesday".

Here we are in the next morning, Ruby says, even though it's clearly night and she's wearing the same outfit, with a hot water bottle shoved up her sweater.



Then Ruby's suddenly in another outfit, "making her bed" by just moving the duvet around a bit.



After another outfit change, Ruby sets up a camera on a wall to film herself walking to Tory-favourite supermarket Waitrose, because viewers would clearly be confused how she got from point A to point B otherwise and would burn her at rhe stake for witchcraft because of her powers of teleportation.

She claims Wednesdays are always a day for YouTube work, and that she "worked solidly" on a video. There's never been any evidence of solid work in a single one of her videos, though.



She shows herself recording narration in time-lapse, and grins and gurns through it like she's completely deranged.



Ruby complains that it's cold yet again. She shows the thermostat meter to prove it. It's a 12.5 degrees celcius, which ain't shit. Self-proclaimed child prodigy Ruby doesn't think to turn the fucking heating up.



Ruby shamelessly shills gifted product Manilife and talks about nut butter a lot, which if she'd ever been on Urban Dictionary she should stop doing.



Ruby meets some "friends", by which she means the study group partners whose grades she most likely tanked with the terrible Dickens escape room project she spearheaded.

Then it wouldn't be Christmas if Ruby weren't droning on about John Lewis endlessly. But since this is a weekly routine video, the suggestion is that Ruby does this every week if the year.

Ruby and Blakeney bought a house advent calendar to share between them, but chose a mini one for some reason. Ruby will only be at uni 2 days a week, max, so Blakeney will get to open most of the windows.



And because wearing gloves was interfering with her compulsive need to rub her grimy hands all over everything in sight, she Michael Jacksons it and goes one-gloved just to make sure she germs up everything.



She shoves her camera on a shelf to film herself, then panicks when a woman steps between it and her.



At this point the annoyance of the repeated Christmas music she's chosen to play several times in this video reaches critical mass.

After pretending to "work" on a YouTube video some more, the day's over.

On "Thursday" morning, Ruby flails about like she's possessed by a demon with no poise, or coordination. She calls this yoga.



And then she's back in this jumper yet again:



And while I definitely think there's nothing wrong with wearing worn clothes more than once if they're not dirty, dirt is a given with Ruby, and her aversion to basic hygeine, general cleanliness and inability to do laundry makes this a no-no.

Then Ruby is in "a Christmas shopping myood" so shops online, and finally learns the lesson to blur her laptop screen...in a shot where nobody could've made anything out anyway.



Ruby does some "AXE-tra" readings and drops the "fun fact" that she loves reading "salmons", but "especially early modern salmons." Although she seems to be showing sermons.


(Presented without comment, because Ruby's a parody of herself at this point.)

Ruby shows that this was the day she was recoding her "Overhyped Products" mess of a video, which makes all the talk of her working on it syooper dyooper hard for two days a pile of bullshit since the bulk of it was filmed months prior.



"I AM GYOWING TO GYO SWIMMING NAO!"



Ruby goes swimming, then posts what must be her 17th letter of the week to her mummy because it's not like she'll be seeing her that weekend or anything.



After going to Waitrose yet again to buy a mini Christmas tree, Ruby and Blakeney decorated the windows of their gloomy, dirty house with paper snowflakes.



After pretending to study, it's suddenly Friday.

First thing in the morning, Ruby harangues Blakeney into sharing her thoughts on their shared module so she can steal them for essay ideas. Blakeney tries to steer this into a general conversation, but Ruby classes this as a "distraction".



They head to campus, and Blakeney has a life to live, so she swiftly ditches Ruby, who huddles in a secluded corner, glaring at everyone nearby like a deranged psychopath while she piles on 12 extra layers because eating practically nothing in a week will make you cold.



Blakeney tries to lure unclean demonic goblin Ruby onto sacred ground to send her back to the fires of hell, but the cross is too much of a dead giveaway and she doesn't fall for it.



Ruby flees. "I'VE...just finished MY...final seminar of the week. I'M...now just walking back."

Blakeney's gone out, and because of course Ruby's buggering off home for the weekend, she has to pack. Although it hardly seems worth keeping anything at uni with how little time she spends there.

"Many of you will know that I do go home--JARRING EDIT--a lot of weekends." Every weekend, Ruby. It's been every single weekend.

"It's my cousin's 18th birthday, and so I'm going up for that," Ruby says, having clearly spent some more time reading Tattle. And you can tell she's defensively making shit up, because as she's saying it, she does all of this "I"m clearly lying!" awkward, disjointed-limbed, one-eyed squinting weirdness:





Lies confirmed.

Is it your cousin's 18th birthday every week, Ruby?

On the defensive warpath, Ruby sets out to prove Tattlers wrong by forcing herself to take the train instead of having mummy and daddy pick her up. She's this happy about it:



And she's so sad about having to get the train by herself at least one stop by herself that she swiftly ends the video, with an especially sullen outro.

Looks like we now know where the two new furniture additions have come from....

Deeznutslol said:

The vagueness is so strange, I really don’t want to straight up accuse her of lying about bullying but all of her depictions of bullying are just so unrealistic.
It’s like her ‘a day in the life of someone being bullied video’ as well, it just seems like what someone who has never really experienced bullying would think bullying is.
Also I’m bringing this back because I find it so funny, like if she cares about bullying so much why would she include this in her other video? It just makes it comical.
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Can "Millie Bobby Brown is gonna floor you for your sinful acts" be the next thread title?

I'm just gonna go ahead and suggest "Ruby Granger is a Bad Writer" as the next thread title...

I used Roofalo’s method to analyse this original manuscript. Can you see the contribution to current scholarship?

A_Generic_Bookworm said:

I just saw an article on signs of autism in adults and thought it was quite interesting to compare these with what we know with Roobee's personality (obviously I am not a doctor and am not trying to diagnose Rooberoy but I just saw some other people on here mention that Ruby could have autism and I kinda agree)
View attachment 915670Ok first of all, the issues with food. Don't need to elaborate just the thread title shows this. Now finding it hard to make friends - this has been something that Ruby herself has admitted she has difficulty doing. Obviously this in itself is not a sign of autism (I myself have a small group of friends and is not a social butterfly) but just attaching herself to one person (Blakeney) and not even making an effort to talk to people??? Ok now onto the indecisiveness element: sorry what was Roobee's dissertation topic again?

Eating issues in anorexia and autism are very distincts ones, even thought there is a comorbidity rate.

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1 - Just look at any of these previous threads to see the multiple word meaning that Rooberoy has butchered despite being an English student at uni
2 - Not sure about an example for this one but it seems like something Rooberoy would do
3 -100 percent (although this could just be becuase of a lack of nutrients)
4 - Just watch any video with Blakeney ever and see Roobee's accent have a heart attack every time she is with someone new
5 - Stealing Holocaust money, not understanding her privilege etc.
6 - This one's a no though
7 - Every day is deadline season, leaving the house like a maniac at random times
8 - Rooberoy's friends (kidnappees): Blakeney, .................... umm I can't think of anyone else
9 -Basically what Roobee's entire channel is built on - morning routines, night routines
10 - And now she's getting other people to comment their rituals on her newest video and mentions her tea 'rituals' in every other video
11 - Still living like a deluded 11 year old child because she doesn't want to be an adult
12 - Once again, has no understanding that other people may not be able to afford things, have a desk to study on like her etc.
13 -Living like a malnourished sick Victorian child
14 - Once again leaving the house because she thinks their mansion in the middle of nowhere is being ro(o)bb(e)ed - turns out it was just Mummy Granger falling down the stairs

Anyway, this is just my thought not diagnosing Roobee just thought it was interesting

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So I'm sure you didn't mean it but please don't do this.
Idk, people here (me included) often bring up that she has autistic traits but that's more in a "it could explain that thing or that other thing". This kind of stuff is unecessary (her obvious eating disorder causes harm, if she is autistic it's 100% her business and it's not our place to find that "interesting", autistic people are not a freak show to analyze for entertainment).
Also, as you said, you're not a doctor. The Internet is a very dangerous place for that since those "traits" kind be interpreted in a thousands way and you would not know if you're doing it right if you're not a doctor.

1 - This is absolutely not what it means. Autism doesn't make you "butcher" words. We can understand language just fine. Social aspects of language like tones, sarcasm, metaphors, etc. can be hard to understand. Like the article says.
3 - The way Ruby has issues "processing" stuff is not the same. Yes, it's probably because she's malnourished. As number 2 says, autistic people can have trouble understanding abstract concepts. Wich mean you may need to process information longer to understand other aspects than the litteral words attached to the sentence.
4 - I honestly don't understand what you mean with this one.
5 - This has NOTHING to do with stealing money or not understanding her privilege. Listen, autistic people tend to see the world in a more "factual" way. If you're autistic, you might say something "factual" like, I don't know, "your mixtape is not very good Kevin" or "wow, you sure do have a lot of acne", you may not see the harm into it, because it wouldn't hurt you if someone said it to you. This is not a lack of empathy, it's a lack of understanding what hurts people. It's subtle but different. Autism also makes you unaware of social cues, including facial expressions, like someone being sad or pissed. But we can still learn what hurts people. Autism doesn't make you do crime and not be aware of it or something. It's not how it works. Also, this is anecdotal, but pretty much every autistic people I know are very aware of class, gender and race issues. Being ostracized by society will do that to you.
6 - How would you know. We only see what she shows.
7 - Also not what it means. Taking social breaks. Like, in parties, in meetings, in class. Needing a break from people.
8 - Hard to developp friendship doesn't mean you have no friends. Eating disorders makes you reject people and that's most likely why she doesn't see many other people than Blakeney.
9 - Hustle culture, ocd, anxiety disorder, a million things can cause this behaviour.
11 - Autistic people don't act like "deluded 11 years old" and it's actually a huge problem, neurotypical people tend to infantilize us a lot. This is more about not disrupting routines than not wanting to grow up, even tho yes, it can present this way.
12 - I don't even understand what you're trying to say here. This is about sensory overload ?
13 - Special interests are a very specific autistic trait, and is usually expressed by a really deep fixation or obssession about something, like a tv show, a celebrity, bugs, birds, plushies... Not a lifestyle.
14 - Again, can be explained by other things like anxiety, ptsd...

You know, you wrote it's not a diagnosis and you're not a doctor, and it's obvious since you misinterpreted pretty much all of those things, but also, what was the point of this ? Why would you find that "interesting" ? Autistic people are not circus animals, I know we are portrayed a lot like "interesting" people in tv shows (for example The Good Doctor or The Big Bang Theory) in a very stereotypical way, but why would you find that interesting, why would you make a list like that of traits someone has, when you know nothing about them and really not that much about the person.
Also you basically took all of her defaults and associated them with autism.
Maybe this sounds rude and I'm sorry, I don't mean to be, but this was really insulting. And we don't need to know nor care about her having/not having autism.

ghostly_prince said:

"Tend to play chess in the evenings."

She's so pretentious...it actually hurts.

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Pffft, amateur. I only play chess on Tuesdays in leap years, when the moon is in the House of Aquarius and a three-legged sheep has been born in a very specific region of south Wales.

I'm putting further overviews behind spoilers, that way if Ruby is choosing to read this thread, she can walk on by. These are not intended as a personal attack on Ruby. I used to keep a diary, I once described Ronan Keating as, "incredibly talented."

Her latest IG story: *writes an essay which goes 3000 words over the limit* "This is what you get when you just keep writing and don't look at the word count! LOL! tYpIcAL mE!"

Uh no, Ruby, it's called bad planning and wasting your time. You now have to spend goodness knows how long cutting the thing down - and every time you do that you risk losing the points you're making. Conciseness is a skill that you desperately need to develop.

opal73 said:

Only the second time she's come home this term? She acts like she deserves an award. Must be soooo hard to stay away at yucky Exeter and work on her dissertation and prepare for becoming an independent adult instead of jumping in mud puddles on the grounds of the family mansion.

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Mud puddles? She must be Peppa pig...

Ruby: Oh hi Blakeney! I'm just at my parents. We got our dissertation marks back! I got a 71.



Blakeney: Oh that's great Ruby! Well done!

Ruby: I got a 71. Do you know what that means? It means all my hard work has paid off!

Blakeney: Well, yes-

Ruby: You just submit a really, really good piece of work and get a first! Do you know our grades are out?

Blakeney: Yes-

Ruby: You just go into your email and check! I got a first. I can't believe it. Can you believe it? I got such a good mark.

Blakeney: I got an 80!

Ruby:



Blakeney: Ruby?

Blakeney: Hello?

The biggest joke is her writing “I want it to have a dark academia feel” about her future dissertation…grow the fuck up

dear god is that a dead fly in the back