Deeznutslol
VIP Member
BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FOCKIN BLINDERS
Who cares!! I only shave when I feel like it and that’s not very often... expecting adult women to shave is such a bullshit notion, really!
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Someone take Premiere Pro away from me.
"Call ambulance for grandma
"gossip_guy
VIP Member
Since Ruby's not going to offer up a half-assed video this week, please enjoy this crap I threw together and forgot about until today:
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Happy World Book Day!
There's a book out there for everyone!
(Forgive me.)
There's a book out there for everyone!
(Forgive me.)
gossip_guy
VIP Member
I've decided to have a VARRY productive 5 minute study break and put all of Ruby insightful annotation teachings to use!
I have attached this to my Oxford Master's application as part of my portfolio, so an acceptance letter will be here any day now.
I have attached this to my Oxford Master's application as part of my portfolio, so an acceptance letter will be here any day now.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
I'm shocked that the universe didn't collapse in on itself with that much smug, entitled narcissism in such a confined space.
Too soon?
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aplaceicantsee
New member
I'm all for some light criticism of Ruby but sometimes you guys project your own issues SO MUCH.
I'm genuinely sorry some of you had shitty childhoods / experiences at uni / whatever else but it doesn't mean that everyone else deserves to have a shit time to match it?! If she wants to go home whenever she wants to then so what? I know some people can't for money reasons / jobs or whatever which sucks - I've been there too and been so desperate to go home but if other people can and want to then I'm not fussed! Sometimes some of the posts on this thread deep everything so much - in the same way that we shouldn't and couldn't all live like Ruby, not everyone can or should live like you either.
Different people are different - some people love going to see their family, others aren't fussed. I've had times where I've gone home on back to back weekends (due to MH, but it literally doesn't matter why, doesn't need a reason) and others when I've spent whole terms away from home. I'm well-adjusted, doing my seconds degree, have plenty of friends and all that jazz, and still love to see my family. It's not a negative whatever you do as long as it suits you!
I'm genuinely sorry some of you had shitty childhoods / experiences at uni / whatever else but it doesn't mean that everyone else deserves to have a shit time to match it?! If she wants to go home whenever she wants to then so what? I know some people can't for money reasons / jobs or whatever which sucks - I've been there too and been so desperate to go home but if other people can and want to then I'm not fussed! Sometimes some of the posts on this thread deep everything so much - in the same way that we shouldn't and couldn't all live like Ruby, not everyone can or should live like you either.
Different people are different - some people love going to see their family, others aren't fussed. I've had times where I've gone home on back to back weekends (due to MH, but it literally doesn't matter why, doesn't need a reason) and others when I've spent whole terms away from home. I'm well-adjusted, doing my seconds degree, have plenty of friends and all that jazz, and still love to see my family. It's not a negative whatever you do as long as it suits you!
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Look, maybe we're all being a little too harsh regarding the PETA thing.
I know Ruby lies about everything. But maybe she's being sincere here.
I mean, when she says she's "never actively promoted it as an organisation" and that she "made a conscious decision a couple of years ago to never support the organisation directly", maybe she's telling the truth for once?
I mean, it's not like she's ever advertised gifted PETA merchandise, or worn and advertised PETA-branded clothing, right?
Oh.
Well...
This is a bit embarrassing, isn't it, Ruby?
I know Ruby lies about everything. But maybe she's being sincere here.
I mean, when she says she's "never actively promoted it as an organisation" and that she "made a conscious decision a couple of years ago to never support the organisation directly", maybe she's telling the truth for once?
I mean, it's not like she's ever advertised gifted PETA merchandise, or worn and advertised PETA-branded clothing, right?
Oh.
Well...
This is a bit embarrassing, isn't it, Ruby?
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Ruby "Sustainable Susan" Granger starts her video with a big "fuck you" to the planet by ditching her usual dark academia candles for a refillable gas lighter. Psst! Ruby! Rechargeable electric lighters are inexpensive and readily available. Oh, right, I forgot - no open flames with electric ones so they don't satiate your lust for arson.
She's also granted her lecturer the courtesy of blurring out their face. You might wonder why she does this for her teacher, but not for the dozens of people she films in libraries and cafes like some stalkery Victorian Jack the Ripper cosplay voyeur.
The simple answer is that all those common peons should be grateful for the exposure in Ruby's videos, while the teacher-student relationship should apparently be kept enigmatic and mysterious for that dark academia aesthetic, like priests in confessional, or Batman wearing a mask to hide his identity from Lex Luthor. Also it's probably wise from a legal standpoint, as this lecturer doesn't want to be associated with Ruby's continued attempts to burn down her house.
Next we're shown Ruby's lecture notes, and a glimpse into her twisted psyche, as she immediately links children to being:
A. A financial burden.
B. A possible food source.
As we begin to wonder how long it'll be before Ruby starts seasoning her porridge with the flesh of missing children in the Exeter area, Ruby distracts us by mentioning that she's annotating all her lecture notes on the Kindle app.
Perlego has Perlegone, apparently, and continues to never be used outside of paid ads, despite Ruby's excited claims that it's the best thing ever and she uses it constantly. "But 'A Chaste Maid in Cheapside' probably just wasn't available on Perlego," you might be saying. It is. Ruby paid £0.75 to buy it on Kindle rather than access it for free on her Perlego account:
After three hours of reading and annotating, Ruby decides to run. But she's not just running from responsibility and adulthood this time. No, apparently she's running for exercise.
She mentions that it's very cold, like Autumn has just appeared from nowhere. This despite Ruby mentioning how Autumn has been right around the corner since last December.
Ruby quickly gives up on her run and films some random strangers on the street without their consent and without blurring their faces, so I took the liberty of doing it for her:
After invading people's privacy, Ruby heads home to facetime her family for her mother's birthday.
Since Ruby was so consumed with all the reading, there was no time for more filming, so we cut to day two.
Ruby glares at the screen with vacant, bug-eyed intensity, while the flickering flame in the foreground foreshadows Ruby's impending burnout (and also her obsession with starting fires).
"And, again, I'm just taking notes using Kindle," Ruby says, as her Perlego account sits unused, gathering digital dust.
Ruby vlogs to apologise for not vlogging, she's just been so, so focused on reading. But not too focused to keep filming herself for this half-assed vlog.
She mentions that Oliver Twist is, at 400 pages, a comparatively long book. Because everything's comparatively long when you exclusively read 25 page children's books.
Ruby rewards herself for her stress and strife by drinking the blood of infants to gain their youthful vitality:
"The only character who comes in that inbetween state is young Master Bates."
Charley Bates. Just call him Charley.
"OF COURSE"
There's some major defensiveness going on, even in her lecture notes. There's massive "OF COURSE I want to give money to charity, but how will the poor learn to pull themselves up by their bootstraps if I keep bailing them out?" Tory energy here.
Ruby's stressing that she has to rush to get everything done in time, despite previously claiming to have done all the reading over the summer and telling everyone she was weeks ahead with everything. Now she's watching optional lectures and critical reading before the actual lecture has taken place? Also rushing to finish Oliver Twist, despite claiming to have read it at least once before.
Ruby's terrible grasp of the English language makes it seem like she was trying to edit a video she hadn't yet filmed. Cue me picturing her assembling non-existent footage from a blank SD card like the video editing equivalent of a child's tea party.
Ruby yet again does her 'sternly pointing at the camera' like she's rehearsing to be in a play about a malnourished Harrison Ford.
She's also wearing her first of many outfits for this "day".
Outfit #2:
Outfit #3:
After a "short run" and 20 minutes of awkward "ballafit" classes, which I assume are like ballet fitness classes but for the mentally enfeebled, Ruby's ready to strain her brain with reading again.
Ruby: "I'm not going to do as much unnecessary reading this year."
Also Ruby: "I'm reading six critical essays, some of them linked by my lecturer, but a lot of them won't be."
Outfit #4:
Ruby just isn't sure what to make of the critical reading regarding the Poor Law and Oliver Twist. Struggles to interpret the text for herself and can't come up with her own thoughts and opinions for any of it, probably because she's not properly read the book yet again, but also because it would out her hard Tory stance on it all, and suggesting that children be used as a cheap source of food and labour might negatively affect her grades.
It's the next day, and Ruby goes to uni, where she continues filming people without their consent and without blurring their faces, while she eats a small shaving of carrot.
Because Ruby's a total moron who puts the barest of bare minimum effort into everything, she managed to include her personal email on-screen for some of the footage. I've done her the courtesy of blurring it, but she's doing herself no favours by doxxing herself.
Note to Ruby: This is why editing doesn't just mean 'Slap some random footage together'. You're supposed to view the footage, check for errors and - god forbid - reshoot if you mess up.
Ruby's Desktop: "Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck."
Ruby:
Ruby continues studying hard for her Life & Death module, researching such relevant information as what the current time in Brisbane, Australia is:
After that, she's pretty tired, so gives up on studying and films some more people without their consent or knowledge:
And then the neglected step-child of Ruby's apps Perlego makes a surprise appearance!
Does this awkwardly shoehorned footage have anything to do with Ruby reading the Tattle discussions about Ruby's blatant non-use of Perlego in all her non-paid videos? Who can say? But absolutely yes. Now give back the charity money, Ruby!
After pretending to read for a while, Ruby meets Blakeney for lunch and a chat, but since someone else talking in Ruby's video would take focus away from Ruby and might actually be interesting content, none of that footage is included.
On the way home, she awkwardly zooms in on a storm drain for some reason...
And because Ruby's gonna Ruby:
"Signs of an Eating Disorder."
At this point, there's absolutely zero way Ruby's unaware of her ED habits, so this is clearly her just blatantly baiting people.
Join Ruby tomorrow for her final university vlog, where perhaps she'll shed some like on what she believes the word "daily" means.
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gossip_guy
VIP Member
Ruby, take a seat. As your official creative consultant, here's some suggestions:
It's been said here already, but stop calling them university vlogs. Uni has finished. You're not taking classes or lectures anymore. Clickbait is lazy. Sure, you're staying in a house physically closer to uni, but that doesn't make it a video about uni. I mean, Exeter also has a sewage treatment plant, that doesn't mean you're going to start including that in the title and thumbnail of all your videos now, does it?
No more routine videos. They're all interchangeable. Unless you've suddenly joined the navy or start working a night shift at the morgue (more video ideas?) then your routine hasn't changed in the past year or two, so we've already seen it. Please stop.
More Blakeney. She's cool, and when you're with her, you're more relaxed and having fun, and that translates to a more enjoyable video. Socialising is fun! I know, I know, you think other people are productivity vampires there to suck away your precious practice essay time and sabotage you, but think of it as self-improvement.
It's cool to take a break from studying to spend time with people your own age, you can learn and grow as a person by doing it and if you can get video content out of it, too, that's even better. It's also healthier for your impressionable fans to show them that taking time off and being social is fun, healthy and a core part of growing up. If they're calling taking a day off "brave" then this should be a massive red flag that you've been instilling unrealistic, unhealthy ideas in them for far too long. It's not too late to change that, for them and yourself.
You don't always need to cram everything into a short vlog and skim over things as fast as possible. If you're having a fun, interesting chat with someone, why not show that instead of a sped-up, 20 second silent clip? Seeing you as an actual person and not a joyless study robot makes you relatable and this makes for more enjoyable content. Everyone wins! 7 minute vlogs full of "we had fun times and then I did some stuff" is pointless content." You're an English Lit student, you should know the importance of "showing, not telling." And if you were too busy talking over your lecturer and correcting them that day to catch that lesson: Showing people something is more interesting than telling them about it. Show people what you did with your day!
Focused content. Pick a video idea, make the video just about that and give it a clear and accurate title. Right now all your content is the same, repetitive assembly line of random studytube clichés cobbled together with a lucky dip title of random, unrelated buzzwords shoved in the title. If you read the title of half your videos to me, I'd think you were trying to activate me as a Russian sleeper agent. "Study with me / Haul / Picnic / Cleaning/ Appendectomy / Daybreak / Furnace / Homecoming / Freight Car / Dark Cottage Soviet Winter Bronycore Academia #ad" should not be the title of a video.
Repetitive content is also dull as fuck. Dull as fuck does not translate to increasing amounts of cash. It leads to what we in the consultancy biz call "diminishing returns." You can hear more about that in my business lecture starting at 1pm. I've taken the liberty of signing you up for a VIP seat. It's in the front row and is slightly less wobbly than the rest. It's £2,000. You can't afford not to take it.
Separate your series and create new ones. If it's a vlog, put that in the title. Have haul videos be haul videos. Those are popular. Do not title a video "haul" video and then have the haul be a 4 second pitstop on a video journey of more unhealthy studytube tips and garden frolicking. More focused, clearly defined, complete video series on a more diverse range of subjects will broaden your audience and make your videos more interesting.
As people have said: Make booktube content. You're an English lit student and supposedly a bookworm. Make a book review series. Retool your book club disaster and have it be a monthly roundtable discussion video on your channel where you have more control over it and are more likely to stay involved. Make a book series comparing novels with their adaptations - there's new, popular adaptations coming out all the time and this is a chance for relevant, topical content. You're leaving money on the table by not broadening your audience.
Stop trying to sound like you're laughing/smiling the entire time you're recording narration. It's fake, transparent and kinda weird. I'm sure this is something you learned from an interview tips book or something, to smile when you talk, but if I started grinning like an idiot and giggling when talking about every mundane thing I do, like eating a sandwich, sitting in a chair or walking upright, I'd be locked in a padded cell. Regular human beings do not do this. You should be no different.
Put more effort in. YouTube is your main source of income. Have some pride in your work. Do a second pass of editing. Frame your shots (e.g., if there's a bedknob blocking your face for entire shots where you're talking to camera, this is a sign that you should have reframed for a second shot, or paid attention even slightly when filming and editing.) This is where watching a broader range of film, TV and YouTube content helps - you can learn all about shot composition, editing techniques and not having every video being an unchecked first draft tossed onto the internet (a lot like your book, but we'll get to that.)
Video content ideas for you:
"Ruby Reacts to Popular Culture She Missed While Shackled to a Desk for 21 Years." I'm serious. Make it. Include Blakeney as your guide to the native lands of "the real world." She's already introduced you to the "Serene" bar, The Queen's Gambit and clothes made for adults, imagine what other wonders await you! It could be fun for you and the audience. Reaction videos are hugely popular and this translates to cash. You know, cash: It's the stuff you've been getting from holocaust charities and spending on weird bonnets. No, Ruby, we didn't forget.
"Ruby Reads Erimentha Parker." Revisit your first published work and what you think of it in retrospect. Talk about what you regret and what you'd change. It's a chance to be self-aware and show people if you've grown as a person and an opportunity to poke fun at yourself. And you can think of it as one big ad for your book. We know you like those #ads.
"Ruby Deactivates Landmines" - Landmines are, like, the ultimate bully. Think of how heroic it'll be to stand up to them. And the element of danger will definitely bring in a crowd.
That'll be £40,000 and an 87% cut of your ad revenue for the next 10 years. Stick with me, Ruby, we'll get your floundering career back on track.
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gossip_guy
VIP Member
A suggestion for April's book if the book club still exists by then:
gossip_guy
VIP Member
It's anti-bullying week again, so naturally Ruby's back to milk her fabricated history of being bullied for more ill-gotten sympathy.
She starts her anti-bullying video with a demonstration of one of the many kinds of bullying - in this case, she abuses the English language itself with her inability to use proper capitalisation or punctuation in her video titles.
This video is titled "Life Lessons from someone who was bullied", but since Ruby evidently couldn't find anyone, we have to make do with her own bad life lessons instead. Why are both 'L's capitalised but no other words are? The answer is buried in one of Ruby's many planners, hidden under her floorboards beneath several feet of dust.
"I regrettably haven't been filming content this week for anti-bullying week," Ruby explains. Which is understandable, since she probably feels especially bullied this week considering her sister is leaving uni for the permanent comfort of home while Ruby has to endure the horrors of spending a few days on campus every couple of weeks.
But we can see that she's now back home yet again, making this pretty much every single week since starting the academic year that she's either run home or dragged her parents to see her.
"I'm right in the middle of deadline season," Ruby says, assuring viewers that the one cause that she constantly talks about is far less important than the "ass-ays" she's clearly not prepared for, despite constantly claiming to have all her work planned and finished ahead of time when she want to inflate her ego to young people on the internet. She's so busy, in fact, that she didn't even have time to say her full catchphrase, and there's a jarring cut after "Hello, it's Roobee!"
Ruby assures everyone that she'll still be uploading "con-tant" for the next few days (read: one video every 4-6 weeks) to raise awareness for the anti-bullying cause even through she's "not in school anymore". Ruby offers up the hot take that bullying doesn't just happen at school, but in adulthood, too. This is not news to anyone but Ruby, but since she talks about things like "the workplace" - which might as well be a fictional realm dreamt up by Tolkien as far as The Rubester is concerned - avoids all social interactions and lives in a world of childish fantasy, I guess it's no shock that she's only just discovering the concept of adult bullying, harassment and abuse.
Ruby mentions the shocking revelation that bullying can also happen in "Frenchips", which are like friendships, but exclusively with French people.
(Pictured: A Frenchip.)
She rambles incoherently, using endless sentences where one will do, and random, jarring edits proliferate as her babbling increases. "But also not negate from the fact that bullying affects so many children," Ruby says, not knowing how to use the word "negate" or what constitutes a complete sentence.
"I've had a lot of adults say to me, "But bullying just happens! It's just something that happens to kids!"," Ruby lies, because that obviously never happened. Ruby's about as likely to get a full-time job or build a Holocaust memorial as she is to have conversed with multiple adults who weren't her parents or teachers.
"We shouldn't just exc-apt that some people are going to be bullied," Ruby says, taking a firm stand against a notion that she's just invented to have something to rant about. Soon she'll say, "We shouldn't just allow AX-eter university to give less than stal-lar grades to child geniuses named Ruby just because it'll make all the other students feel bad if they do! That's the worst kind of bullying!"
(Pictured: A more-than-Frenchip.)
Ruby finally moves on from what seems like an endless preamble to say that she want to tell everyone some things she learned from being bullied. "You might know that I was bullied myself when I was at school," she says, and I'm not sure who wouldn't be aware of Ruby's claims of being bullied at this point, since she mentions it at the drop of a hat (or French beret).
Her claims are highly dubious, and her depiction of her own bullying experience has been purposefully vague and wildly inconsistent. Here she says it was "in a few different situations, but kind of mainly in like, year 8, year 9," she says, doing the now-trademark one-eyed squint she does when she's lying about dates, times or just in general.
Then a door loudly slams in the background. While Ruby couldn't be bothered to edit this out, she at least didn't pretend it was a home invader and run outside barefoot this time.
Previously she's claimed that she didn't realise that she'd even been bullied at school until years later, coincidentally after reading lots of fictional bullying books. Even then, she offered no actual details beyond people just not wanting to be friends with her - no great shock considering the pure disdain she showed for any people engaging in interests or hobbies outside academia and her tendency to remind teachers to assign homework. While offering no real details, she previously equated her bullying experience to life in a Nazi concentration camp, because an entire people being subjected to mass genocide in gas chambers is a fair comparison to someone imagining they've been called a dick by a fictional classmate at school.
"I have moved on from it," Ruby says, despite never shutting up about it. But apparently it made her a stronger person, as many imaginary experiences do. I mean, I'm slightly less afraid of sharks after dreaming that I punched one in the face.
(Pictured: French chips.)
Speaking of wild creatures, Ruby interrupts her own video to announce that it's "Wild Children's Day". The internet offers little information on what "Wild Children's Day" is, but it's presumably either a cause raising awareness for feral kids, or a day in which fans of 2008 Emma Roberts movie Wild Child celebrate the film's enduring relevance.
"World Children's Day" is also this week, which is an odd coincidence, but that's not until the 20th, and Ruby definitely says that "18th November is Wild Children's Day".
"This isn't sponsored by Unicef or anything," Ruby says, which makes sense, since they'd probably expect her to talk about World Children's Day on 20th November if it were, which definitely doesn't happen in this video.
"Unicef have done this "Changing Childhood Proj-ackt" which I wanted to tell you about," she says, although since Ruby hasn't changed as a person since childhood, she seems like an odd candidate to discuss this.
Apparently this "proj-ackt" is a mass survey that Unicef conducted amongst 20,000 kids on a variety of topics. Ruby is shocked that only 80% of children have heard of climate change - she expected more kids to be aware of it, since "everyone knows about it and everyone's rallying for it". That dumb, sheltered 20% of kids clearly didn't get the message that we're all out there "rallying for" climate change and hoping that the planet boils and the oceans consume us all.
Now that she's done shaming small children for not helping destroy Mother Earth, Ruby gets back to the lessons she learns from being pretend-bullied.
(Pictured: A French trip.)
Apparently the main thing she learned in year 8 and/or 9 was to adopt the worldview that she didn't become aware of until she was in year 10 and/or 11: Stoicism. What worked for Cicero, Aurelius and Epicurus was apparently just the ticket for the Ruby when she was of an indeterminate age between 12 and 15.
"Mind over matter" is the key lesson to learn from bullying; you can overcome anything if you simply choose to not be bothered by it. Which is very easy for Ruby - mind over matter is especially effective when your bullying experience is the product of her own imagination, like hers was. If you're getting the shit kicked out of you on a daily basis, using the mental techniques of dead Greek philosophers isn't a practical solution, and you should inform teachers, parents or the authorities.
Ruby squints her way through her smarter-than-thou nonsense that shows no awareness or consideration of other experiences or situations other than the one she made up for herself. She one-eyed squints her way though it, like she does any time she says things that don't add up.
In poker, they call this a "tell" - it means she's lying.
The most extreme example of "bullying" that she can conjure in her mind is someone pointing out that her jumper is ugly and that she shouldn't wear it. Most people welcome that kind of fashion advice from a friend, but anyway. She doesn't clarify if this is a hypothetical scenario or something she's claiming to have experienced, but it seems like an especially bizarre example if that's the case, since she went to a school where everyone wore the exact same uniform.
She also claims that she was bullied because she was academic and really into studying, but doesn't explain why she thinks this is the case and gives no actual examples. While she continues rambling unbelievable nonsense, her dog barks loudly and uncontrollably in the background, but Ruby refused to give into this canine bullying and record a second take.
(Pictured: A French ship.)
Ruby says that she recommends never changing who you are to placate bullies, which isn't bad advice, but then she follows that up by saying she steadfastly refuses to change anything she does based on "YouTube hate comments".
Considering the "hate comments" that Ruby swiftly and diligently deletes are usually constructive criticism that she really should acknowledge and take on board (shoddy editing errors, glaring language mistakes) or genuine comments of concern for herself and others (triggering ED content, toxic productivity advice), then she clearly has no idea what bullying actually is and has learned the wrong lessons from her "bullying" experience.
It only reinforces that she never experienced any actual bullying, but equates any genuine concerns or well-deserved criticism as a savage attack against her.
(Pictured: French dip.)
Ruby mentions that she's glad she embraces her own identity and is comfortable with her personality. Since her entire persona is Frankensteined together from the borrowed traits of friends, Emma Watson and fictional children, I'm not sure that counts as a identity. She cites Luna Lovegood as an example of someone to emulate for her "I am who I am and don't care what people think" attitude towards her personality. But Luna Lovegood never stole money from a charity and then lied constantly to avoid giving it back when people called her out for it, so it's probably not a fair comparison.
She claims that her pretend bullying experience taught her to be comfortable in her own skin and is so much happier being alone, which is plainly evident in the way she can't go more than a week without running off to her parents and practically handcuffs herself to Blakeney for every moment inbetween. Even she doesn't believe any of what she's saying is true:
Ruby believes that the most important lesson to learn is to be kind above all else. She quotes Socrates: "Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." She quotes Emily Dickinson: "If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain." Things like not depriving charities of much-needed funds and refraining from subjecting impressionable or vulnerable fans to endless torrents of triggering ED-baiting content despite tonnes of comments expressing clear concern apparently do not qualify as "kindness", since those people are evidently all just bullying Ruby.
"I think a lot of people will say "oh, ignore bullying and it will stop", but that isn't true," Ruby says, after spending several minutes rambling about how the best solution to bullying is to let it wash over you.
If you're going to tell someone, then it's apparently important that you present the teacher or police officer with a clear strategy to tell them what to do. Apparently Ruby once told a teacher about someone "bullying" her and the teacher only went and did their job and confronted the problem, which apparently Ruby didn't want - she merely wanted the teacher to make a note in their yearly planner about it, or reward Ruby's embellished and/or fictional torment with a private classroom and extra gold stars or something.
Teachers work for you and are essentially servants who are not beholden to any kind of school procedures or regulations, so if you provide them with a list of instructions when you have decided to invent a bullying scenario in your mind years after the fact, they'll get right on that for you.
(Pictured: A French clip.)
If you're being bullied, try to reframe their words and actions, Ruby says. If they insult you for being nerdy, be proud of your nerdiness and take it as a compliment. If they punch you in the face? Well, maybe consider that you are so attractive that they simply couldn't resist touching your cheek, at high speed and with a closed fist. Anything's an upside if you try hard enough. Again, it also helps if you fabricated the bullying itself and your response to it is equally fictional.
Also, don't forget that bullies are people, too. If they're calling you names or savagely beating you on a regular basis, consider their feelings in all of this. They might be going through a harder time than you are while they're kicking the crap out of you. At least, that's what Ruby read in the fictional stories whose events she pretended were her own.
Ruby finishes by mentioning to anyone being bullied: It is not your fault. And it's absolutely not. Unless you're a wealthy person taking money from charities, in which case, expect harsh criticism.
Speaking of charity scams, Ruby never mentions this in the video, but in the description, she claims that all ad revenue for this video will be donated to Unicef:
This will never happen, of course. It's another Holocaust Memorial scam.
Rubes, considering your storied history of taking money from charities and never giving it back, along with running scam contests, we're gonna need some receipts if you expect anyone to believe this blatant horseshit.
Remember, if you're the victim of imaginary bullying, please talk to a therapist. Do not, under any circumstances, write a bad children's book about it.
She starts her anti-bullying video with a demonstration of one of the many kinds of bullying - in this case, she abuses the English language itself with her inability to use proper capitalisation or punctuation in her video titles.
This video is titled "Life Lessons from someone who was bullied", but since Ruby evidently couldn't find anyone, we have to make do with her own bad life lessons instead. Why are both 'L's capitalised but no other words are? The answer is buried in one of Ruby's many planners, hidden under her floorboards beneath several feet of dust.
"I regrettably haven't been filming content this week for anti-bullying week," Ruby explains. Which is understandable, since she probably feels especially bullied this week considering her sister is leaving uni for the permanent comfort of home while Ruby has to endure the horrors of spending a few days on campus every couple of weeks.
But we can see that she's now back home yet again, making this pretty much every single week since starting the academic year that she's either run home or dragged her parents to see her.
"I'm right in the middle of deadline season," Ruby says, assuring viewers that the one cause that she constantly talks about is far less important than the "ass-ays" she's clearly not prepared for, despite constantly claiming to have all her work planned and finished ahead of time when she want to inflate her ego to young people on the internet. She's so busy, in fact, that she didn't even have time to say her full catchphrase, and there's a jarring cut after "Hello, it's Roobee!"
Ruby assures everyone that she'll still be uploading "con-tant" for the next few days (read: one video every 4-6 weeks) to raise awareness for the anti-bullying cause even through she's "not in school anymore". Ruby offers up the hot take that bullying doesn't just happen at school, but in adulthood, too. This is not news to anyone but Ruby, but since she talks about things like "the workplace" - which might as well be a fictional realm dreamt up by Tolkien as far as The Rubester is concerned - avoids all social interactions and lives in a world of childish fantasy, I guess it's no shock that she's only just discovering the concept of adult bullying, harassment and abuse.
Ruby mentions the shocking revelation that bullying can also happen in "Frenchips", which are like friendships, but exclusively with French people.
(Pictured: A Frenchip.)
She rambles incoherently, using endless sentences where one will do, and random, jarring edits proliferate as her babbling increases. "But also not negate from the fact that bullying affects so many children," Ruby says, not knowing how to use the word "negate" or what constitutes a complete sentence.
"I've had a lot of adults say to me, "But bullying just happens! It's just something that happens to kids!"," Ruby lies, because that obviously never happened. Ruby's about as likely to get a full-time job or build a Holocaust memorial as she is to have conversed with multiple adults who weren't her parents or teachers.
"We shouldn't just exc-apt that some people are going to be bullied," Ruby says, taking a firm stand against a notion that she's just invented to have something to rant about. Soon she'll say, "We shouldn't just allow AX-eter university to give less than stal-lar grades to child geniuses named Ruby just because it'll make all the other students feel bad if they do! That's the worst kind of bullying!"
(Pictured: A more-than-Frenchip.)
Ruby finally moves on from what seems like an endless preamble to say that she want to tell everyone some things she learned from being bullied. "You might know that I was bullied myself when I was at school," she says, and I'm not sure who wouldn't be aware of Ruby's claims of being bullied at this point, since she mentions it at the drop of a hat (or French beret).
Her claims are highly dubious, and her depiction of her own bullying experience has been purposefully vague and wildly inconsistent. Here she says it was "in a few different situations, but kind of mainly in like, year 8, year 9," she says, doing the now-trademark one-eyed squint she does when she's lying about dates, times or just in general.
Then a door loudly slams in the background. While Ruby couldn't be bothered to edit this out, she at least didn't pretend it was a home invader and run outside barefoot this time.
Previously she's claimed that she didn't realise that she'd even been bullied at school until years later, coincidentally after reading lots of fictional bullying books. Even then, she offered no actual details beyond people just not wanting to be friends with her - no great shock considering the pure disdain she showed for any people engaging in interests or hobbies outside academia and her tendency to remind teachers to assign homework. While offering no real details, she previously equated her bullying experience to life in a Nazi concentration camp, because an entire people being subjected to mass genocide in gas chambers is a fair comparison to someone imagining they've been called a dick by a fictional classmate at school.
"I have moved on from it," Ruby says, despite never shutting up about it. But apparently it made her a stronger person, as many imaginary experiences do. I mean, I'm slightly less afraid of sharks after dreaming that I punched one in the face.
(Pictured: French chips.)
Speaking of wild creatures, Ruby interrupts her own video to announce that it's "Wild Children's Day". The internet offers little information on what "Wild Children's Day" is, but it's presumably either a cause raising awareness for feral kids, or a day in which fans of 2008 Emma Roberts movie Wild Child celebrate the film's enduring relevance.
"World Children's Day" is also this week, which is an odd coincidence, but that's not until the 20th, and Ruby definitely says that "18th November is Wild Children's Day".
"This isn't sponsored by Unicef or anything," Ruby says, which makes sense, since they'd probably expect her to talk about World Children's Day on 20th November if it were, which definitely doesn't happen in this video.
"Unicef have done this "Changing Childhood Proj-ackt" which I wanted to tell you about," she says, although since Ruby hasn't changed as a person since childhood, she seems like an odd candidate to discuss this.
Apparently this "proj-ackt" is a mass survey that Unicef conducted amongst 20,000 kids on a variety of topics. Ruby is shocked that only 80% of children have heard of climate change - she expected more kids to be aware of it, since "everyone knows about it and everyone's rallying for it". That dumb, sheltered 20% of kids clearly didn't get the message that we're all out there "rallying for" climate change and hoping that the planet boils and the oceans consume us all.
Now that she's done shaming small children for not helping destroy Mother Earth, Ruby gets back to the lessons she learns from being pretend-bullied.
(Pictured: A French trip.)
Apparently the main thing she learned in year 8 and/or 9 was to adopt the worldview that she didn't become aware of until she was in year 10 and/or 11: Stoicism. What worked for Cicero, Aurelius and Epicurus was apparently just the ticket for the Ruby when she was of an indeterminate age between 12 and 15.
"Mind over matter" is the key lesson to learn from bullying; you can overcome anything if you simply choose to not be bothered by it. Which is very easy for Ruby - mind over matter is especially effective when your bullying experience is the product of her own imagination, like hers was. If you're getting the shit kicked out of you on a daily basis, using the mental techniques of dead Greek philosophers isn't a practical solution, and you should inform teachers, parents or the authorities.
Ruby squints her way through her smarter-than-thou nonsense that shows no awareness or consideration of other experiences or situations other than the one she made up for herself. She one-eyed squints her way though it, like she does any time she says things that don't add up.
In poker, they call this a "tell" - it means she's lying.
The most extreme example of "bullying" that she can conjure in her mind is someone pointing out that her jumper is ugly and that she shouldn't wear it. Most people welcome that kind of fashion advice from a friend, but anyway. She doesn't clarify if this is a hypothetical scenario or something she's claiming to have experienced, but it seems like an especially bizarre example if that's the case, since she went to a school where everyone wore the exact same uniform.
She also claims that she was bullied because she was academic and really into studying, but doesn't explain why she thinks this is the case and gives no actual examples. While she continues rambling unbelievable nonsense, her dog barks loudly and uncontrollably in the background, but Ruby refused to give into this canine bullying and record a second take.
(Pictured: A French ship.)
Ruby says that she recommends never changing who you are to placate bullies, which isn't bad advice, but then she follows that up by saying she steadfastly refuses to change anything she does based on "YouTube hate comments".
Considering the "hate comments" that Ruby swiftly and diligently deletes are usually constructive criticism that she really should acknowledge and take on board (shoddy editing errors, glaring language mistakes) or genuine comments of concern for herself and others (triggering ED content, toxic productivity advice), then she clearly has no idea what bullying actually is and has learned the wrong lessons from her "bullying" experience.
It only reinforces that she never experienced any actual bullying, but equates any genuine concerns or well-deserved criticism as a savage attack against her.
(Pictured: French dip.)
Ruby mentions that she's glad she embraces her own identity and is comfortable with her personality. Since her entire persona is Frankensteined together from the borrowed traits of friends, Emma Watson and fictional children, I'm not sure that counts as a identity. She cites Luna Lovegood as an example of someone to emulate for her "I am who I am and don't care what people think" attitude towards her personality. But Luna Lovegood never stole money from a charity and then lied constantly to avoid giving it back when people called her out for it, so it's probably not a fair comparison.
She claims that her pretend bullying experience taught her to be comfortable in her own skin and is so much happier being alone, which is plainly evident in the way she can't go more than a week without running off to her parents and practically handcuffs herself to Blakeney for every moment inbetween. Even she doesn't believe any of what she's saying is true:
Ruby believes that the most important lesson to learn is to be kind above all else. She quotes Socrates: "Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." She quotes Emily Dickinson: "If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain." Things like not depriving charities of much-needed funds and refraining from subjecting impressionable or vulnerable fans to endless torrents of triggering ED-baiting content despite tonnes of comments expressing clear concern apparently do not qualify as "kindness", since those people are evidently all just bullying Ruby.
"I think a lot of people will say "oh, ignore bullying and it will stop", but that isn't true," Ruby says, after spending several minutes rambling about how the best solution to bullying is to let it wash over you.
If you're going to tell someone, then it's apparently important that you present the teacher or police officer with a clear strategy to tell them what to do. Apparently Ruby once told a teacher about someone "bullying" her and the teacher only went and did their job and confronted the problem, which apparently Ruby didn't want - she merely wanted the teacher to make a note in their yearly planner about it, or reward Ruby's embellished and/or fictional torment with a private classroom and extra gold stars or something.
Teachers work for you and are essentially servants who are not beholden to any kind of school procedures or regulations, so if you provide them with a list of instructions when you have decided to invent a bullying scenario in your mind years after the fact, they'll get right on that for you.
(Pictured: A French clip.)
If you're being bullied, try to reframe their words and actions, Ruby says. If they insult you for being nerdy, be proud of your nerdiness and take it as a compliment. If they punch you in the face? Well, maybe consider that you are so attractive that they simply couldn't resist touching your cheek, at high speed and with a closed fist. Anything's an upside if you try hard enough. Again, it also helps if you fabricated the bullying itself and your response to it is equally fictional.
Also, don't forget that bullies are people, too. If they're calling you names or savagely beating you on a regular basis, consider their feelings in all of this. They might be going through a harder time than you are while they're kicking the crap out of you. At least, that's what Ruby read in the fictional stories whose events she pretended were her own.
Ruby finishes by mentioning to anyone being bullied: It is not your fault. And it's absolutely not. Unless you're a wealthy person taking money from charities, in which case, expect harsh criticism.
Speaking of charity scams, Ruby never mentions this in the video, but in the description, she claims that all ad revenue for this video will be donated to Unicef:
This will never happen, of course. It's another Holocaust Memorial scam.
Rubes, considering your storied history of taking money from charities and never giving it back, along with running scam contests, we're gonna need some receipts if you expect anyone to believe this blatant horseshit.
Remember, if you're the victim of imaginary bullying, please talk to a therapist. Do not, under any circumstances, write a bad children's book about it.
Last edited:
gossip_guy
VIP Member
It's a new week, which - shockingly - brings a new video from Ruby. We're apparently in for a real treat, if Ruby's Insta story is to be believed:
She's apparently been working on this video for a long while. The inference being that she doesn't put any effort into her videos usually, which, while obvious to anyone with eyes or ears, is nice to see her vaguely admit.
She throws up a 'see no evil' monkey emoji, which to Ruby could mean anything from 'I paid so little attention while editing that I haven't seen any of this video myself yet, I wonder how it turned out?' to 'I was pepper-sprayed moments ago'. The one thing it likely doesn't mean is that she's embarrassed by whatever she's crapped out onto her channel today. Self-awareness and shame elude Ruby like a greased ferret; maybe one day she'll get a firm hold of them.
The first thing we notice is that this video is sixteen fucking minutes long.
Ruby is constantly apologising for her vlogs being too long at circa 10 minutes in length and truncates them into pointless, half-assed montages and exposition as a result, but she's happy to make a video nearly double that if it's nothing but body-checking footage.
The insane battle cry of "HELLO IT'S ROOBEE!" comes in at twice the volume as usual, contrasted by the distracting static background noise. This might seem like inconsistent sound levels, but that can't be the case - Ruby said she'd put a lot of time into this video, unlike her others. With twice the effort comes DOUBLE THE VOLUME.
While it might seem to the untrained ear to be terrible audio production, the manic screaming of Ruby announcing that she has arrived in a video posted on a channel devoted entirely to videos featuring only her, over the crackling noise of static, is an aural metaphor for how we should all rise above the mundanity of life and be the main character in not just our own story, but everyone else's, too.
"This follows a lot of questions that I have?...GOT?...over the past year about the clothes that I wear," Ruby claims as she squints in pained confusion, seemingly suspicious of her own stilted words and alien cadence, as if her sentences were being spoken by at least four people inhabiting the same brain.
Who asked these questions? Other students? The fashion police? Concerned bystanders worried that there may be a roving, escaped mental patient roaming the streets when they see Ruby wandering Exeter dressed like a deranged, time-travelling Halloween skeleton? Ruby never reveals these secrets, and it's not just because nobody asked for this and it was borne of Ruby's narcissism and need to inflict her body-checking on people, not at all.
After a barrage of old, recycled footage of Ruby dressed like she's robbed the lost and found of several museums and put on stolen clothing items from multiple eras of history all at once, she shows herself knocking on the wall and listening for signs of life.
This is presumably Ruby checking that Blakeney is still alive after she was sealed in the crawlspace as punishment for defying Ruby's mandatory schedule for them both.
After a scattered glimpse into Ruby's insanity, it's time for her to reveal her outfit essentials.
But wait! "When I say essentials, it does NOT mean that these items are essential," Ruby says passive-aggressively, with a forced, cheerful grimace. She's quit the stern Harrison Ford finger-pointing, but like a smoker chewing gum to help them kick the habit, Ruby has replaced one compulsive hand gesture with another.
She now punctuates each word by grasping at the air, like she's catching the precious dust permeating her room, or rehearsing to play a cartoon Italian chef.
"These-a outfits, they so-a bella, no?Ahh, they just-a like-a my mamma used-a to make, eh? " Ruby probably said in her first, discarded take of this, as accordion music played in the background.
We never actually see the gun being pointed at Ruby's head by the person who forced Ruby to put the word "essentials" in her video title even though it is apparently so irrelevant to her video that she felt the need to snarkily pre-empt any negative comments, but this armed captor must be around there somewhere. Otherwise, why would she do it? Clickbait? The ego-centric need to assert the things she does, owns and wears as the ideal default that everyone should strive to imitate? Ruby would never... (Psst, it's totally that.)
I guess if she removed the word "essentials" from the title, nobody would know what the video were about, huh? I mean, "Outfit Ideas & What I Wear in a Week *dark academia*"? What's that video about? Lawn care tips? The history of Soviet Russia? Who knows? And how is Ruby supposed to know that there are words like "staples", "mainstays" or "basics" that are closer to what she claims she wants the word "essentials" to mean? It's not like she's a third year English lit student and self-professed bookworm or something. God, people, get off her back!
Ruby stresses that she was very hesitant to upload this video as she would never want to encourage anyone to buy clothes or things they couldn't afford or didn't need. This despite constantly advertising and lying about expensive products and clothes being her favourite things, even though she never uses them, in order to convince impressionable children and cash-strapped students to buy them.
Ruby even put up a disclaimer. See! So thoughtful and diligent. Ruby recognises that she's in a privileged position to be able to shop and pay for all the things she owns - the heavy implication being that she actually bought and paid for the things she owns, neglecting to mention that most of it was gifted to her by brands she advertises.
"I wouldn't say there's a name for my style," say Ruby, because she's unique and special, before immediately claiming that her style is totally
DARK ACADEMIA Ruby stutters over the word - "acad--d--EEmia" - as though having to remind herself not to keep pronouncing it wrong.
She then shows the wardrobe item that best showcases her "dark academia" style, and perfectly encapsulates the aesthetic: the long nights of obsessive studying; the murder, mystery and intrigue; the allure and danger of secret societies; the privileged decadence behind ivy-covered boarding school walls...
A tan-coloured kitty beret.
The epitome ofDARK ACADEMIAand not at all exactly the hat you'd expect the snooty rich girl bully in a middle school kid's movie to wear.
Ruby shows the full outfit, which is an ensemble worn only when you are scheduled to go fox hunting but desperately need to pay exorbitant amounts for your student food shopping first (Waitrose pictured in background).
Ruby claims she's been wearing the dark academia style since she was 12, which she proves by showing several outfits that are decidedly nothing like the aesthetic.
In Ruby's mind, a collared shirt, a cardigan, a blazer or some shorts makes any outfit fit the dark academia aesthetic.
Again, Ruby worked on this video for a long time. We're reminded of this by her inability to create any kind of suitable title inserts for the video, and learning video editing skills would take time and effort, so she just scribbles on a back issue of The New Yorker instead.
Oh, wait, she's not done...
Ruby got bored of ruining her prized back issues and decided to waste some blank paper, too, for a miss-matched style that looks both low effort and low quality. Lots of time and effort spent on this video, and it's all there to be seen on-screen.
From here on, it's just a lifeless Ruby fashion show, and I'm not going to give her the benefit of reposting all her body-checking bullshit images here, so we'll just focus on the standout stupidity.
Of all her daft tops, Ruby's favourite item at the moment is her Aesthetic London blouse, which was gifted to her, though she makes zero mention of this because she paid for everything, remember?
It's hand-made and "super sustainable", as opposed to regular sustainable - Ruby never clarifies the difference, but considering her definition of "sustainability" is "be as wasteful as possible", it's anyone's guess.
She loves it so much that she couldn't be bothered to iron it, or more likely just doesn't know how.
Although her undeclared free advertising is in vain, as she gets the name wrong and calls the company "Aesthetica London". Whoops! No more free blouses for you, Rubes! You're on the naughty list!
Ruby should have gotten the name right, since she saw fit to include them in the products list of her description, where she says they're non-affiliate links, but again avoids mentioning that it was a gifted product.
Onto the bottoms, and Ruby loves her "beige checked-shecked shhkirt" - has Ruby been supping upon that demon ethanol, or could she just not be bothered to rerecord the line after fumbling over her words? It can't be the latter - don't forget, she spent so much time on this masterwork!
She loves a tweed jacket as it's "so easy to throw on top of anything". That's generally how all jackets work, Rubes.
After filming most of her outfits in front of the same white wall in her house, Ruby's decided that this room isn't quite filthy enough, and her unwashed, unironed clothes weren't dirty enough, and decided to just throw her clothes on the dusty, unwashed rug in one of the many other grimy rooms of her house.
Ruby claims that all the items she shows are all of the same style, and all the same colour palette, which explains a lot about her always looking like she got dressed in the dark using clothes from the attic of disgraced Tory royal.
In Ruby's mind, a yellow rubber rain hat, a tweed jacket, a school blouse with half a cape hanging off it for some reason, a priest's stole with a cat on it, a pair of blue shorts and some Doc Martins would make a cohesive outfit.
Ruby spends what feels like five years rambling about how her choice to not wear jeans is fine and people should accept it, even though Ruby's the one who keeps going on about it. This insane diatribe is soundtracked by random, soothing piano music and is punctuated by some old, silent footage of Ruby yelling at the camera like a lunatic:
Thanks to the joys of lip reading, we can tell that Ruby says: "YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" Evidently her mother really wanted Ruby to start wearing jeans on the day in question, I guess.
Ruby constantly mentions that the clothes she insists on wearing "crease very easily". Unfortunately there are no inventions yet created to remove creases from clothes, but modern science and technology may one day provide a breakthrough.
While Ruby's trying on everything she owns, all of it unwashed and unironed, we hear heavy coughing in the background. Ruby put a lot of time and effort into this video, don't forget, so there must be a reasonable explanation for her including the distracting, disconcerting sounds of her mother hacking up a lung in an adjoining room.
Ruby stares ahead with cold, dead eyes, showing no visible concern that her mother is seemingly dying from the 'rona nearby. Maybe if Mother Granger hadn't pressured Ruby to wear jeans, she might be a bit more worried.
"YOU--and you will have a lot of these items, I think, in your wardrobe already." Sure, hold on Rubes, let me grab my Paddington Bear hat and Sherlock Holmes coat to pair with my kitten collar and random ascot. They're around here somewhere.
After Ruby's seemingly endless body-checking fashion show of creased, dusty shit she had in her wardrobe/attic, she runs out of footage and does her new favourite thing of grafting a completely different video onto it. It's time for a 'What I Wore in a Week' bonus video!
"It's important to normalise wearing outfits regularly," Ruby says, having clearly not interacted with a social group for any period of time to see that this is already completely normalised. Outside of celebrities, fashion shows and fictional TV shows, wearing the same outfits or items of clothing is completely normal, and almost everyone happily does it without judgment.
Most people can't afford to buy shit they never wear, or get endless clothes for free from brands. For all Ruby's lip-service disclaimers, she is clearly out of touch with reality and has no perspective outside her own bubble of privilege.
She punctuates her pointless, unwarranted ramble with her new favourite compulsive hand gesture:
"I cycle to campus," Ruby says smugly, despite this being something we've never seen her do, and her taking no bicycle to uni with her.
She must be telling the truth, though, as her Monday outfit to cycle to campus through the busy streets of Exeter includes what is most definitely a bike helmet:
Her Tuesday outfit includes her "ASS-thetica London" sailor neck top. Aesthetic London will most definitely stop sending Ruby things now for advertising this random brand instead of theirs.
It's important to wear something nice, Ruby says, because this means you're telling yourself that the day is worth something. Ruby rambles about normalising the things important to her own sheltered imagination, but if anyone else wear the things they like and are comfortable in, their day is meaningless.
If you're a labourer wearing jeans and a high-vis jacket or a nurse wearing hospital scrubs? Your day of stressful, hard work and back-breaking labour was a complete waste and served no purpose, because you weren't dressed like a quail-hunting French pirate. Learn from Ruby instead - we need to normalise wearing only the things that Ruby likes, so that everyone can feel as productive as her.
"I also ALWAYS wear this scarf, like, every single outfit I will wear this week I'll wear it with," Ruby says, because wild, embellished lies are second nature to her. She couldn't just say "I like this scarf a lot and wear it fairly often recently", it has to be "I ALWAYS [Insert thing Ruby never does]".
Out of curiosity, I looked over her Instagram, and this scarf that she ALWAYS wears is worn in zero outfits for at least the past several months. And contrary to her claiming to wear it with every single outfit that week, it only appears that one time.
Speaking of lies, Ruby bemoans that - before buying some expensive ones - her tights used to get ladders in them and she had to throw them away immediately. This despite her going through an embarrassingly long period of wearing torn, laddered tights in most of her sponsored posts. But if you're going to buy sustainable tights, they have to be wool. Because Ruby's definitely vegan, honest.
And because lies are the order of the day on Ruby's menu of life, note how she only has one outfit for each day, despite all her dubious claims that she changes her outfits numerous times a day whenever she makes a 'daily routine' video that's blatantly filmed across multiple days. Where are all the random mid-day outfit changes here, Rubes?
"Where do I get my clothes from?" Ruby asks herself.
"I buy my stuff second-hand," she lies, with an 'Isn't it obvious? Don't you wish you could be as wonderful as me?' smug shrug.
No mention of all the Miss Patina fast fashion. No mention of the John Lewis tights. No mention of the sheer abundance of gifted clothing, including the Aethetic London top that she tries to name-drop twice in this video.
Ruby preaches about sustainability while only lying about practicing it herself, and has and will continue to advertise clothing brands as long as they're willing to give her free clothes and/or money.
Her false preachiness causes her to fall off the stern pointing wagon as she stressed that we must take care of our clothes, just as Ruby does by soiling them, staining them, rubbing them all over the filth-covered floors of her home, then shoving them unwashed in a cupboard to be ravaged by dust and moths.
After an ad for gifted laundry soap, which Ruby clearly never uses, that's all for another video.
The effort on display here was definitely evident - no second takes, no consistent audio, all recorded in two locations across a couple of afternoons at most, all in a clothing video containing no cleaned, ironed clothes. Ruby's done it again! Another masterpiece.
The main takeaways:
She's apparently been working on this video for a long while. The inference being that she doesn't put any effort into her videos usually, which, while obvious to anyone with eyes or ears, is nice to see her vaguely admit.
She throws up a 'see no evil' monkey emoji, which to Ruby could mean anything from 'I paid so little attention while editing that I haven't seen any of this video myself yet, I wonder how it turned out?' to 'I was pepper-sprayed moments ago'. The one thing it likely doesn't mean is that she's embarrassed by whatever she's crapped out onto her channel today. Self-awareness and shame elude Ruby like a greased ferret; maybe one day she'll get a firm hold of them.
The first thing we notice is that this video is sixteen fucking minutes long.
Ruby is constantly apologising for her vlogs being too long at circa 10 minutes in length and truncates them into pointless, half-assed montages and exposition as a result, but she's happy to make a video nearly double that if it's nothing but body-checking footage.
The insane battle cry of "HELLO IT'S ROOBEE!" comes in at twice the volume as usual, contrasted by the distracting static background noise. This might seem like inconsistent sound levels, but that can't be the case - Ruby said she'd put a lot of time into this video, unlike her others. With twice the effort comes DOUBLE THE VOLUME.
While it might seem to the untrained ear to be terrible audio production, the manic screaming of Ruby announcing that she has arrived in a video posted on a channel devoted entirely to videos featuring only her, over the crackling noise of static, is an aural metaphor for how we should all rise above the mundanity of life and be the main character in not just our own story, but everyone else's, too.
"This follows a lot of questions that I have?...GOT?...over the past year about the clothes that I wear," Ruby claims as she squints in pained confusion, seemingly suspicious of her own stilted words and alien cadence, as if her sentences were being spoken by at least four people inhabiting the same brain.
Who asked these questions? Other students? The fashion police? Concerned bystanders worried that there may be a roving, escaped mental patient roaming the streets when they see Ruby wandering Exeter dressed like a deranged, time-travelling Halloween skeleton? Ruby never reveals these secrets, and it's not just because nobody asked for this and it was borne of Ruby's narcissism and need to inflict her body-checking on people, not at all.
After a barrage of old, recycled footage of Ruby dressed like she's robbed the lost and found of several museums and put on stolen clothing items from multiple eras of history all at once, she shows herself knocking on the wall and listening for signs of life.
This is presumably Ruby checking that Blakeney is still alive after she was sealed in the crawlspace as punishment for defying Ruby's mandatory schedule for them both.
After a scattered glimpse into Ruby's insanity, it's time for her to reveal her outfit essentials.
But wait! "When I say essentials, it does NOT mean that these items are essential," Ruby says passive-aggressively, with a forced, cheerful grimace. She's quit the stern Harrison Ford finger-pointing, but like a smoker chewing gum to help them kick the habit, Ruby has replaced one compulsive hand gesture with another.
She now punctuates each word by grasping at the air, like she's catching the precious dust permeating her room, or rehearsing to play a cartoon Italian chef.
"These-a outfits, they so-a bella, no?
Ahh, they just-a like-a my mamma used-a to make, eh? " Ruby probably said in her first, discarded take of this, as accordion music played in the background.We never actually see the gun being pointed at Ruby's head by the person who forced Ruby to put the word "essentials" in her video title even though it is apparently so irrelevant to her video that she felt the need to snarkily pre-empt any negative comments, but this armed captor must be around there somewhere. Otherwise, why would she do it? Clickbait? The ego-centric need to assert the things she does, owns and wears as the ideal default that everyone should strive to imitate? Ruby would never... (Psst, it's totally that.)
I guess if she removed the word "essentials" from the title, nobody would know what the video were about, huh? I mean, "Outfit Ideas & What I Wear in a Week *dark academia*"? What's that video about? Lawn care tips? The history of Soviet Russia? Who knows? And how is Ruby supposed to know that there are words like "staples", "mainstays" or "basics" that are closer to what she claims she wants the word "essentials" to mean? It's not like she's a third year English lit student and self-professed bookworm or something. God, people, get off her back!
Ruby stresses that she was very hesitant to upload this video as she would never want to encourage anyone to buy clothes or things they couldn't afford or didn't need. This despite constantly advertising and lying about expensive products and clothes being her favourite things, even though she never uses them, in order to convince impressionable children and cash-strapped students to buy them.
Ruby even put up a disclaimer. See! So thoughtful and diligent. Ruby recognises that she's in a privileged position to be able to shop and pay for all the things she owns - the heavy implication being that she actually bought and paid for the things she owns, neglecting to mention that most of it was gifted to her by brands she advertises.
"I wouldn't say there's a name for my style," say Ruby, because she's unique and special, before immediately claiming that her style is totally
DARK ACADEMIA Ruby stutters over the word - "acad--d--EEmia" - as though having to remind herself not to keep pronouncing it wrong.She then shows the wardrobe item that best showcases her "dark academia" style, and perfectly encapsulates the aesthetic: the long nights of obsessive studying; the murder, mystery and intrigue; the allure and danger of secret societies; the privileged decadence behind ivy-covered boarding school walls...
A tan-coloured kitty beret.
The epitome of
DARK ACADEMIAand not at all exactly the hat you'd expect the snooty rich girl bully in a middle school kid's movie to wear.
Ruby shows the full outfit, which is an ensemble worn only when you are scheduled to go fox hunting but desperately need to pay exorbitant amounts for your student food shopping first (Waitrose pictured in background).
Ruby claims she's been wearing the dark academia style since she was 12, which she proves by showing several outfits that are decidedly nothing like the aesthetic.
In Ruby's mind, a collared shirt, a cardigan, a blazer or some shorts makes any outfit fit the dark academia aesthetic.
Again, Ruby worked on this video for a long time. We're reminded of this by her inability to create any kind of suitable title inserts for the video, and learning video editing skills would take time and effort, so she just scribbles on a back issue of The New Yorker instead.
Oh, wait, she's not done...
Ruby got bored of ruining her prized back issues and decided to waste some blank paper, too, for a miss-matched style that looks both low effort and low quality. Lots of time and effort spent on this video, and it's all there to be seen on-screen.
From here on, it's just a lifeless Ruby fashion show, and I'm not going to give her the benefit of reposting all her body-checking bullshit images here, so we'll just focus on the standout stupidity.
Of all her daft tops, Ruby's favourite item at the moment is her Aesthetic London blouse, which was gifted to her, though she makes zero mention of this because she paid for everything, remember?
It's hand-made and "super sustainable", as opposed to regular sustainable - Ruby never clarifies the difference, but considering her definition of "sustainability" is "be as wasteful as possible", it's anyone's guess.
She loves it so much that she couldn't be bothered to iron it, or more likely just doesn't know how.
Although her undeclared free advertising is in vain, as she gets the name wrong and calls the company "Aesthetica London". Whoops! No more free blouses for you, Rubes! You're on the naughty list!
Ruby should have gotten the name right, since she saw fit to include them in the products list of her description, where she says they're non-affiliate links, but again avoids mentioning that it was a gifted product.
Onto the bottoms, and Ruby loves her "beige checked-shecked shhkirt" - has Ruby been supping upon that demon ethanol, or could she just not be bothered to rerecord the line after fumbling over her words? It can't be the latter - don't forget, she spent so much time on this masterwork!
She loves a tweed jacket as it's "so easy to throw on top of anything". That's generally how all jackets work, Rubes.
After filming most of her outfits in front of the same white wall in her house, Ruby's decided that this room isn't quite filthy enough, and her unwashed, unironed clothes weren't dirty enough, and decided to just throw her clothes on the dusty, unwashed rug in one of the many other grimy rooms of her house.
Ruby claims that all the items she shows are all of the same style, and all the same colour palette, which explains a lot about her always looking like she got dressed in the dark using clothes from the attic of disgraced Tory royal.
In Ruby's mind, a yellow rubber rain hat, a tweed jacket, a school blouse with half a cape hanging off it for some reason, a priest's stole with a cat on it, a pair of blue shorts and some Doc Martins would make a cohesive outfit.
Ruby spends what feels like five years rambling about how her choice to not wear jeans is fine and people should accept it, even though Ruby's the one who keeps going on about it. This insane diatribe is soundtracked by random, soothing piano music and is punctuated by some old, silent footage of Ruby yelling at the camera like a lunatic:
Thanks to the joys of lip reading, we can tell that Ruby says: "YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" Evidently her mother really wanted Ruby to start wearing jeans on the day in question, I guess.
Ruby constantly mentions that the clothes she insists on wearing "crease very easily". Unfortunately there are no inventions yet created to remove creases from clothes, but modern science and technology may one day provide a breakthrough.
While Ruby's trying on everything she owns, all of it unwashed and unironed, we hear heavy coughing in the background. Ruby put a lot of time and effort into this video, don't forget, so there must be a reasonable explanation for her including the distracting, disconcerting sounds of her mother hacking up a lung in an adjoining room.
Ruby stares ahead with cold, dead eyes, showing no visible concern that her mother is seemingly dying from the 'rona nearby. Maybe if Mother Granger hadn't pressured Ruby to wear jeans, she might be a bit more worried.
"YOU--and you will have a lot of these items, I think, in your wardrobe already." Sure, hold on Rubes, let me grab my Paddington Bear hat and Sherlock Holmes coat to pair with my kitten collar and random ascot. They're around here somewhere.
After Ruby's seemingly endless body-checking fashion show of creased, dusty shit she had in her wardrobe/attic, she runs out of footage and does her new favourite thing of grafting a completely different video onto it. It's time for a 'What I Wore in a Week' bonus video!
"It's important to normalise wearing outfits regularly," Ruby says, having clearly not interacted with a social group for any period of time to see that this is already completely normalised. Outside of celebrities, fashion shows and fictional TV shows, wearing the same outfits or items of clothing is completely normal, and almost everyone happily does it without judgment.
Most people can't afford to buy shit they never wear, or get endless clothes for free from brands. For all Ruby's lip-service disclaimers, she is clearly out of touch with reality and has no perspective outside her own bubble of privilege.
She punctuates her pointless, unwarranted ramble with her new favourite compulsive hand gesture:
"I cycle to campus," Ruby says smugly, despite this being something we've never seen her do, and her taking no bicycle to uni with her.
She must be telling the truth, though, as her Monday outfit to cycle to campus through the busy streets of Exeter includes what is most definitely a bike helmet:
Her Tuesday outfit includes her "ASS-thetica London" sailor neck top. Aesthetic London will most definitely stop sending Ruby things now for advertising this random brand instead of theirs.
It's important to wear something nice, Ruby says, because this means you're telling yourself that the day is worth something. Ruby rambles about normalising the things important to her own sheltered imagination, but if anyone else wear the things they like and are comfortable in, their day is meaningless.
If you're a labourer wearing jeans and a high-vis jacket or a nurse wearing hospital scrubs? Your day of stressful, hard work and back-breaking labour was a complete waste and served no purpose, because you weren't dressed like a quail-hunting French pirate. Learn from Ruby instead - we need to normalise wearing only the things that Ruby likes, so that everyone can feel as productive as her.
"I also ALWAYS wear this scarf, like, every single outfit I will wear this week I'll wear it with," Ruby says, because wild, embellished lies are second nature to her. She couldn't just say "I like this scarf a lot and wear it fairly often recently", it has to be "I ALWAYS [Insert thing Ruby never does]".
Out of curiosity, I looked over her Instagram, and this scarf that she ALWAYS wears is worn in zero outfits for at least the past several months. And contrary to her claiming to wear it with every single outfit that week, it only appears that one time.
Speaking of lies, Ruby bemoans that - before buying some expensive ones - her tights used to get ladders in them and she had to throw them away immediately. This despite her going through an embarrassingly long period of wearing torn, laddered tights in most of her sponsored posts. But if you're going to buy sustainable tights, they have to be wool. Because Ruby's definitely vegan, honest.
And because lies are the order of the day on Ruby's menu of life, note how she only has one outfit for each day, despite all her dubious claims that she changes her outfits numerous times a day whenever she makes a 'daily routine' video that's blatantly filmed across multiple days. Where are all the random mid-day outfit changes here, Rubes?
"Where do I get my clothes from?" Ruby asks herself.
"I buy my stuff second-hand," she lies, with an 'Isn't it obvious? Don't you wish you could be as wonderful as me?' smug shrug.
No mention of all the Miss Patina fast fashion. No mention of the John Lewis tights. No mention of the sheer abundance of gifted clothing, including the Aethetic London top that she tries to name-drop twice in this video.
Ruby preaches about sustainability while only lying about practicing it herself, and has and will continue to advertise clothing brands as long as they're willing to give her free clothes and/or money.
Her false preachiness causes her to fall off the stern pointing wagon as she stressed that we must take care of our clothes, just as Ruby does by soiling them, staining them, rubbing them all over the filth-covered floors of her home, then shoving them unwashed in a cupboard to be ravaged by dust and moths.
After an ad for gifted laundry soap, which Ruby clearly never uses, that's all for another video.
The effort on display here was definitely evident - no second takes, no consistent audio, all recorded in two locations across a couple of afternoons at most, all in a clothing video containing no cleaned, ironed clothes. Ruby's done it again! Another masterpiece.
The main takeaways:
- Buy "TARTLENECKS". These appear to be identical to turtlenecks, but Ruby never clarifies the difference.
- Buy wool! All vegans do it, honest!
- Rain hats are very useful. Umbrellas are for losers. Protecting only the top of your head is for the great and gifted, as that's where the knowledge is stored.
- Wear nice things or your life is a worthless waste of time.
- All items of clothing go well together, regardless of their individual size, colour and style.
- Berets are a suitable substitute for bike helmets and will definitely protect your forehead in the event of a deadly crash.
- Do not buy jeans. Jeans are for commoners.
- Do not buy an iron.
- Buy sustainable clothing. Sustainable clothing means "absolutely any item of clothing that you want to buy but also feel superior about wearing".
