gossip_guy

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The video that was supposed to be uploaded this morning arrives! And while we can't rely on ol' Ruby to upload when she says she will, we can always count on her inability to use consistent capitalisation in her video titles.

"The Day before the End of Term" - why isn't that 'B' a capital, Rubes?

She forgoes the random emojis that she usually uses, to highlight the gravity of the situation. This is no time for laughter, random space emojis or monkeys hiding their faces. This is a disaster akin to a Roland Emmerich movie; uni is slowly ending, and the impending doom that Ruby faces at graduation is creeping ever-closer.

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"It's the penultimate day before the end of term," Ruby says, using words that she doesn't know the meaning of again. This would actually mean it's the day before the day before the end of term.

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Shockingly, Ruby must've finally decided to look up the meaning of one of the numerous words she keeps misusing. However, she didn't do this until she was haphazardly slapping random footage together during "editing". So she just throws a lazy correction on screen.

Ruby only has "tyoo classes left", neither of which require any prep work apparently. Which probably means that Ruby did several days of unnecessary prep work for each of them in a shameless attempt to impress the poor lecturers who're just counting the days until she fucks off for good and they no longer have to wade through dozens of unsolicited emails a day from her.

Ruby has screwed around with time so much in her "daily" vlogs, lying about the time, day, month and year that it is to give the illusion that she's accomplished more in a day than is physically possible. Now, time has simply had enough, and has decided to fight back. Ruby picks up a clock to tell us what time she's currently pretending it is, and pushes a random button when the clock starts loudly wailing an off-key nightmare tune at her to get her to stop.

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Ruby panics. Rather than apply basic logic, common sense or the problem-solving skills that even small children and household pets are equipped with to figure out how to turn the music off, Ruby just awkwardly bashes at it and attempts to twist it apart like some mindless, drooling caveman.

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Eventually she just pulls the batteries out.

"I don't know WHY that started playing music," Ruby huffs, annoyed that her musical clock did one of the things that it's designed to do. "I didn't even knyow that it could dyoo that."

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Because it's not like it's a clearly advertised feature on the product listing and the box and the manual or anything.

Ruby says she had to buy a new clock because her last one broke, and it's not hard to see why considering she immediately resorted to trying to tear the new one apart the second it made a noise.

Ruby's back yard is likely a graveyard for all the dead clocks she broke trying to turn off the alarm. She has to buy a new one every day because that 'off' button just proves too elusive for her and she has to destroy them each morning instead.

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(See if you can find the 'off' switch, or the several other options that Ruby failed to find that would've silenced the music or turned the volume off.)

She says she's going down to the café near campus to "do a bit of admin work". Now, she definitely has a lot of admin work to do, considering the multitude of complaints flooding in about her stationary company regarding orders not getting dispatched and the complete lack of response from customer service. However, Ruby's definition of "admin" is "quick things you want or need to do", so it's a given that she won't be doing anything business-related and will instead be ordering more clocks.

Ruby also mentions that she's had a shower, hence the soaking wet hair. She does not explain why she hasn't dried it. I mean, everyone washes their hair and then lets it air-dry in winter, soaking their clothes in the process, when it's supposedly always freezing cold in their room. Leaving it wet is definitely not her new attempt to try to hide her thinning, receding hairline brought on by months of malnutrition or anything.

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Ruby opens her tea advent calendar's offering for the day. She doesn't mention that day's 'act of kindness', but a little research reveals that it's to "back or cook something and share it with colleagues or neighbours". I weep for the poor bastards that Ruby's going to give the Christmas gift of cabbage porridge sprinkled with frozen peas.

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She leaves the house, her hair still wet. Genius approaching, please clear a path.

"I really rarely leave the house to dyoo wahhk, and I really want to start dyoing it more," she says, "because otherwise I just spend all my time at my desk."

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This you, Rubes?

If you find campus so noisy that you have to post passive-aggressive notes about it on social media, then what makes you think a public café is going to be quieter?

Ruby sets another goal for herself as she claims she's going to really start studying outside her house, even though uni's practically over at this point.

"I've read that changing study locations can help to keep you more focused," she says. Rather than realise for herself that she clearly never focuses in public spaces or when not at her desk, Ruby elects to just believe random factoids she read in fluff, faux-motivational Facebook posts instead.

There's nothing wrong with studying in your room if you find loud places distracting, or vice versa. But to set arbitrary goals for yourself to study in random public places when you already complain all the time that you can't focus in public places has nothing to do with finding a place you do your best work and everything to do with wanting to find a place where other people can see you pretending to study.

As in all things with Ruby, it's aesthetics over function. Why didn't you just go to a study space in the uni library, Ruby? Think of the 📚📖DARK MACADEMIA📖📚 vibes! The answer is that everyone in the library is there to study. In the coffee shop, she's a unique bookworm. It's the Instagram cliché that if you're not taking up space in a coffee shop when studying or writing, you're not doing it right.

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Ruby takes up space in the café, ordering no food or drinks. If you ever had any doubt that Ruby's ronaphobia and crocodile tears over it were anything but a performance so she could embrace the golden opportunity to run home for a year, observe the above photo.

Ruby claimed to be so terrified and anxious about Covid that she had no choice but to flee from university - leaving her roommate and apparent best friend to live alone - so that she could retreat into a world of childhood fantasy and forget that graduation and adulthood were coming.

Now, she's maskless in an enclosed public place. There's a big sign next to her telling her to open the windows to provide adequate ventilation. All the windows are closed. Ruby had zero intention of opening it for the safety of herself and others.

Not even the fact that everyone around her is wearing masks spurs her on to put one on herself. People sitting within arm's reach does not encourage self-proclaimed germophobe Ruby to put on a mask or wonder if she needs to be in this crowded, enclosed space during a rapidly-worsening pandemic.

Hospitality venues are exempt from the current legal requirement for people to wear masks in indoor public places, primarily because food and drink is consumed (although wearing a mask is still strongly encouraged in government guidelines when not eating or drinking). Ruby orders neither food nor drink, but still refuses to mask up.

Then this happens:

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What Ruby says to these strangers is unclear, but see seems threatened and confused. She's sporting a Karen face if I ever saw one, and multiple times points at her table as she seems to assert her claim over it.

She could be saying, "Excuse me, ruffians! You are encroaching upon my private study space! Please keepst thy volume to a minimum, lest I reportst thou to my mummy!"

She could be saying, "You there! You appear to be the manual-labouring, blue collar sort! Thankyou for your service!"

Who knows?

But if she were actually scared of Covid, would she have come to this crowded, public café where she doesn't need to be, where she orders absolutely nothing, and then refused to wear a mask or open a window?

Want to know what she did with most of her time in this apparently essential study/"admin" trip to this café?

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She was taking random photos for her Instagram, so that social media could see that she was "studying" in a coffee shop. So for the people who're still getting radio silence from Ruby's stationary company after your order failed to materialise, this is what Ruby does with her "admin" time instead of responding to complaints and queries. And when Ruby wonders why she's always late to finish her assignments, this is also partly why.

Everything about this scene should show how little Ruby is worried about Covid. She never was. It should also show how much Ruby cares about the aesthetics of studying over actually getting work done comfortably and efficiently.

After refusing to wear a mask in close proximity to many other people for a prolonged period of time, Ruby decides to make a show of putting one on just to swiftly walk to the exit...

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And then immediately removes it the instant she steps outside:

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Reminder: Ruby accepted money from the NHS to advertise Covid hygiene safety precautions, despite clearly being unable to understand or follow them herself.

"My call has been changed tyoo...TAN FORTY-FIVE," Ruby awkwardly says, "and so I'm just heading--[JARRING EDIT]--back for that!"

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While wearing a coat made from her grandfather's oldest, least favourite armchair, Ruby scribbles some random notes "as part of a friend's Christmas present". Ruby only has one friend. If Blakeney's had to suffer through this year of living with Ruby only to get some half-assed, illegible motivational notes written by a compulsive liar and taped to a card with hair-covered washi tape for Christmas, then she should just cut all ties.

And because Ruby has to shove an ad or sponsored segment into literally everything, it's time to unbox some tea, even though she has a mountainous stockpile already.

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It's another tea advent calendar. And if you're wondering what the point in a sponsor sending an influencer an advent calendar nearly halfway through December, or who they think it going to suddenly be inspired to buy it at this point, you're not alone.

Either Ruby was incredibly late to collect this parcel, or "teapigs" is run by the same business-savvy mastermind as Ruby's own company.

They also sent a discount code for "20 pre-cent off" for Ruby's followers.

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Each window has a random fact, which Ruby will no doubt memorise and then interrupt many lectures next year to parrot them off unprompted during completely irrelevant discussions.

As if reading my mind, Ruby interrupts her own video with a "Did you know...?" of her own.

"The 18th Century!" Ruby chirps, as she searches her Swiss cheese brains for facts regarding the 18th Century. "That's the time the tea tax was abolished!" As if to somehow prove whatever point she's trying to make, Ruby slaps a random, cited quotation on-screen which reveals essentially no information other than to point out that the tax on tea wasn't abolished at all, just drastically reduced:

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If this is the type of effort she puts into her "ass-ays" then it's going to be a rough dissertation season for ol' Rubert De Niro.

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Ruby says she's going to meet Blakeney, but is packing up a pile of presents to leave around town, because she evidently felt like she hadn't hit her stupidity quota for the day yet.

If you're thinking, "But that's a generous, selfless thought!" Well, not so fast. Ruby hasn't wrapped anything of any value or use to anyone. She's wrapped several of her overpriced, poor quality notebooks. Which is somehow worse than just getting coal in your stocking, or being eaten by Krampus.

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So, let's unpack this a little...

Ruby's idea of a wonderful gift for people: Her own shitty products. Because that's not egotistical at all.

Speaking of egotistical, if the fact that Ruby's own notebooks are inside the parcel weren't a dead giveaway that Ruby herself left these everywhere (because nobody else would inflict these on another person) then her filming herself wrapping them and leaving them places definitely will. This isn't an act of anonymous, selfless kindness. It's Ruby trying to get some staged good press to inflate her feeling of self-worth.

But most glaringly, Ruby is practically Typhoid Mary, and at this point (if you believe her timeline) had been to a London Covid spreader event just days before, shows that she regularly refuses to wear masks in enclosed public spaces, and lives in such a state of unhygienic squalor that the next pandemic will likely originate from her kitchen. Yet she thinks it's a great idea during an escalating pandemic to go and leave things she's touched in public for strangers to pick up.

Reminder: Ruby accepted money from the NHS to advertise Covid hygiene safety precautions, despite clearly being unable to understand or follow them herself.

This is all a moot point, of course.

Remember that there has never been a single, confirmed recipient of any giveaway that Ruby has ever done. Ruby doesn't show herself leaving any of these gifts anywhere, and I don't doubt for a second that Ruby wrapped them, filmed herself showing them off for the good press, then immediately unwrapped them and put them back on the pile.

After mentioning that she visited a vintage charity shop, but refusing to name it and provide any free publicity to a good cause...

(You know what's coming, right?)

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Of course she did. It's a shameless cliché at this point.

And to make her sponsor-chasing more blatant than ever before, Ruby lovingly films the Waterstones sign for the longest time to give them free advertisement, and then doesn't even fucking go inside.

She just turns and walks to her other favourite place to advertise for free: Bird & Blend.

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Ruby claims that these Christmas-themed tea pouches were bought for the tea giveaway she announced. I'll believe it when I see someone receive one. She picked "dozy girl", which seems especially apt. And it's a good job Ruby has no actual intention of sending these, since she never bothered to ask entrants if they have any allergies, while these teas all contain nut traces. Ruby's out here trying to kill her viewers with something other than boredom for a change.

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She meets Blakeney at a tasting café for a beetroot latté :)sick:) and a tiny sliver of cake (which is Ruby's first food of the day and she doesn't appear to eat any of it).

Ruby has decided to treat life like a Pokemon game - she's gonna catch that rare Omicron variant if it kills her, so after eating/not eating tiny cakes, they then spend an additional two hours occupying this small indoor space without masks.

But Ruby's going to pay it forward and make sure everyone gets sick for Christmas, as they write "anonymous" Christmas cards to lick, seal and leave around campus with the Rubola virus all over them.

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Again, this is not anonymous. When Exeter University's most notable fuckwit influencer films herself writing them, it's going to be blatantly obvious who wrote these. It's another ego-boosting bit of performative kindness carried out in the most senseless way, at the worst time, which only benefits Ruby.

Ruby, if you wanted to do something actually kind for Christmas that didn't risk spreading Covid to numerous strangers, why didn't you...
  • Donate money to charity (not including the money you already owe to several charities).
  • Donate money, time or food to a food bank.
  • Donate your stockpile of clothes to charity.
  • Volunteer at a homeless shelter.
  • Volunteer your time to a charity.
  • Spend the month of December using your Instagram and YouTube to make content raising awareness for needy causes.
There's endless amounts of actual, concrete ways to meaningfully give back. Ruby has never done any of them. She chooses the cheapest, most transparently self-serving way every single time.

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Continuing Ruby's weird trend of taking things that random strangers in academia say as gospel, she reveals that she never drinks caffeine after 3pm because a speaker at school said she shouldn't.

Ruby freaks out because there's TWO WHOLE COFFEE BEANS in her coffee-tea bag, and she reacts like she'd being offered heroin in a public park or something. Just ONE HIT of caffeine after 3pm will ruin your life.

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Blakeney resolves the situation by just taking the tea bag with two beans and giving Ruby the one-bean bag, placating Ruby like one would a small child.

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And after celebrating the almost-last day before Ruby runs home yet again by chatting in the gloomiest corner of the house, that's it for another vlog!
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
Ruby Granger Routine Video Bingo!

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Get yours made before the video goes up! I went with some obvious choices for mine but took some big swings to make things interesting - will she go for the cottagecore title, or has she moved on now she's back in the land of Dark Macademia? Will we finally see vermin in the house? Does she even have the energy to twirl anymore? Will she horrifically injure herself? Anything's possible!

(Site note: All online bingo card generators suck ass. I used BingoBaker.com for this one, and that was the best of a bad bunch.)
 
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Welshgal

VIP Member
The whole “I read xx books last year/last month” is so toxic and stupid. Reading is not something that should be compared. We all have different preferences, reading speed, time for reading etc.
 
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Her meal... can't be more 300 calories by my estimation. Tomatoes (20 cals), hummous (80 cals?), bread (100 cals), falafel balls (100 cals maybe?), idk what the rest is but mainly looks like veggies. She's so irresponsible.
Please please let's not count calories here 🙏
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
I watched Molly's latest video and it couldn't be more of a contrast to Ruby's recent readathon video.

Molly's readathon video:

A clear, honest title. ("My first readathon." - Video contains Molly's first readathon.)
Competent editing.
Likeable, unpretentious personality and manner of speaking.
Uses words that exist, with proper context and pronunciation.
Reads lengthy books aimed at adults.
No focus on hitting arbitrary book targets. (Molly is very clear and honest upfront that she'll read for the enjoyment of reading, switch books if she gets bored and isn't likely to finish any/all of them.)
Has interesting, articulate things to say about the books she reads.
Promotes healthy habits (reading, eating, self-care.)

Ruby's readathon video:

Title full of lies ("Reading 7 books in a day - cosy university readathon" - Ruby doesn't read 7 books and is on break from university. The cosiness is debatable.)
Incompetent editing. (Incapable of speaking a complete, unedited sentence.)
Awkward, pretentious and generally robotic delivery.
Mispronounces many words, invents many others.
Reads children's books, very short books or short stories.
Turns reading into a competition, which she has to lie and change the rules to win. (Ruby claims to read 7 complete books. These include short stories, very short books and many books she just didn't finish. She brags about her accomplishments anyway.)
Only offers bland, surface-level or completely incoherent insight into the books she reads.
Promotes unhealthy habits (reading as a box-ticking exercise, encouraging quantity over quality/enjoyment when reading, lying to achieve your goals, and encourages burning candles at 45 degree angles and possibly burning your house down.)

The only disadvantage to Molly's video is that she's adopted Ruby's 'reading while brushing teeth' habit, which is ridiculous by itself, but Molly does it after just putting on a lovely yellow dress and risking drooling toothpaste all over the book and dress.

Ruby's video, however, is an unmitigated shitshow of lies and incompetence. So, a clear win for Molly.
I just noticed that Molly has now changed the title from 'My first readathon' to 'my first readathon! 📚 enjoyment above "productivity"'

That seems directly aimed at Ruby and toxic studytuber productivity. Get her, queen! #teammolly
 
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gossip_guy

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For all the crap we give Ruby, I have to give her credit for how inclusive she is with her outfit options: She always includes a look for people who were just involved in a horrific car accident and their right leg is now mangled and bent at impossible angles. It's a very specific group of people, sure, but Ruby's got their backs.
 
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roundmidnight

Active member
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you just gotta love that drumkit in there. as we all know, the victorians were REALLY into rock n roll. yeah. ba dum tss. francious
 
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StatusWoe

VIP Member
I'm still finding this 'WRITING IS MY WHOLE IDENTITY' thing depressing. If I were Mother Granger I'd be doing an intervention by now.

I don't think Ruby has enough ideas to have a career as a writer.
Sadly, I agree. The assignment she posted (creepy illustrations kids' book) just wasn't that good. I hate saying this because it's not easy to put your creative work out there to face scrutiny. Also, writing is an evolving process, so it doesn't make sense to expect a perfect finished product from a relative beginner at the draft stages. That said, Ruby had been working on that assignment for a while and was presumably close to submitting it? The storyline is unimaginative (at least from the extract we've seen) and the writing doesn't flow or have a good rhythm. The use of 'big words' combined with deliberate repetition and very simple storytelling makes me wonder who the audience would be. There are also some odd choices in general: ''plain Mrs Chew'' wtf? I feel sorry for this imaginary woman who has just been insulted by Roobee. 😅 That's before I even get to depacle.

Hi Tattle! I am a writer now and this is my whole identity. I no longer have a body and currently exist as a floating, omniscient fountain pen. This is the blurb of my soon-to-be-published, HIGHLY REQUASTED debut book.

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qwikti

VIP Member
Are you a superfan? Or Ruby? Cause if so, you might be in the wrong place just saying
There we are! I was wondering when the nutters would come out of the woodworks. The trademark Tattle 'if I disagree with you, you're the person the thread is about'.

Don't accuse someone of promoting ED behaviour and being horrible for showing small portions of food, and then support posts that make stupid comments about the food she posts saying it 'makes their teeth hurt to look at'.

I don't care if you think she ate it or not, it's besides the point. The food was fine, it doesn't take being a superfan or being Ruby to think that.
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
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Just in case the other...

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...TWENTY-FUCKING-ONE morning routine videos weren't enough, Ruby's going back to the fucking well.

That's more entries than the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Jurassic Park franchises combined. But people actually worked on those, so...

Ruby has mentioned that she'd like to work in TV or film as one of her many pie-in-the-sky career dreams that'll never happen. And judging by her approach to her YouTube channel, she'd just try to make a TV show where they filmed one episode and then kept airing that same episode over and over again with a different episode title every time.

Ruby used a title with capitals in all the right places AND an emoji that's related to the video. Unfortunately, she clearly burned herself out with this rare exhibition of brainpower and then had no energy or motivation to put any kind of effort into the video itself.

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Her first order of the day is to chug a glass of stagnant, dusty water because the human body is 60% water and her room is 94% dust.

Next to her bed are some creepy pictures of young fictional children. And also what looks like a Ben & Jerry's tub.

"I wake up between 6 and 7, but on this particular morning, I woke up at 4:30," she says, which is probably a lie.

She also says she washes her face with cold water to wake up and uses carrot cleanser every morning, which she will probably count as one of her meals for the day.

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(Pictured: Ruby practicing to be her favourite emoji. 🙈 )

She also slaps some rice toner on her face, which is another meal done. Eating disorder who? Ruby's feasting every morning!

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Ruby has finally stopped her performative habit of pretending to read while brushing her teeth. Instead she's decided to just glare dead-eyed at the camera, challenging Tattlers to a staring contest for calling her out.

After losing her staring contest, she heads downstairs to cook "brackfast". She serves up the world's smallest serving of porridge while snacking on a tiny handful of pistachio nuts.

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"One of the hardest decisions in the morning is cheesing the mug," she says. I assume this is some strange ritual where she lines her dirty mug with a layer of nacho cheese. The decision process boils down to a simple "Should I?/Shouldn't I?" choice.

Ruby "cheeses" an Emma Bridgewater mug, for some reason avoiding the "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" mug next to it.

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"I start every day with a mug of green tea," Ruby says. And then she pulls a giant elephant urn out of the cupboard.

After that, she assembles the world's most ridiculously tiny and disgusting-looking breakfast.

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There's absolutely zero chance Ruby doesn't look at this and know that it's a blatantly ridiculous thing to have as a "meal" and a dangerously stupid thing to not just offer up as something she eats routinely, but to suggest it as a normal thing for all her viewers to eat, too.

This absolute cretin has not changed. She's been called out so many times, pleads ignorance, occasionally gives a fake "I want my channel to be a safe space, what can I change?" announcement and then goes right back to doing shit like this. She does not give one single fuck about the physical or mental well-being of a single one of her viewers. She is utter scum.

Even with this tiny serving, there's still no visible evidence that she ate any of it.

As if predicting the backlash she's bound to get, she starts some kind of strange Pagan arson ritual designed to protect her against people with valid and justified criticism bullies.



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She threateningly strikes a match and waves it at the camera lens and then films herself just waving the lit match around for the longest time. 1/16th of this entire video is Ruby waving fire around.

Having displayed a callous disregard for the health and wellbeing of her fans and a stunning ignorance of basic fire safety, she then decides to just go all in on showcasing her greed and stupidity.

First up, some shameless self-promotion:

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(Reading between the lines: "Of course I start by planning my day in my Pumpkin Productivity planner. But the rest of you common scum won't, because we never dispatched any of your orders! Thanks for the money!")

Ruby continues plugging her planner even after the PR wildfire surrounding it that burned through all the good will of most of her customers. It's a bit like saying, "Shop at BP petrol stations! They really care!" a day after the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Read the room, Ruby; nobody wants to hear about your terrible planners unless it's you announcing mass refunds.

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Ruby shows off her planner for that day. It's an ode to her fundamental stupidity and incompetence in many ways.

She still has zero clue what "admin" means, and shoves a bunch of random social plans and things in the "Admin Tasks" section, including "Blakeney Photos", which likely involves a telephoto lens and a lot of stalking, and something related to Margot - her dog who passed away.

Meanwhile, 'Expenses', which sounds very much like a business task, is just shoved in the general section.

I don't know what "Margot cups" are. They could be cups that are made of or containing her dead dog. But either way, it's not an admin task, and neither are plans with/involving friends. She insisted on putting an ill-advised 'Time to spend working' field, even though she never actually uses it, and nobody else should, either.

Ruby also keeps claiming time and time again that this planner was designed from the ground up to be the ultimate planner to suit her every need, yet every time she shows it, it doesn't seem to meet her weird purposes. There's sections without tickboxes where clearly she wants them. There's sections with tickboxes that she ignores and makes her own anyway.

And there's a reminders section, a main section, an admin section and an events section, all of which serve the same purpose and she uses interchangeably. It's the most profoundly stupid bullshit. But we're not done yet; the Ruby stupidity train will be making stops at several stations before reaching the end of the line.

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Ruby works on her dissertation. Note that she doesn't use a Pumpkin Productivity planner - even she's not stupid enough to use though.

She's still sticking with letter writing as a topic, even though it's barely related to literature and clearly a blatant excuse for her to ramble 10,000 words of nonsense about letter writing "etti-KAT" and "ASS-thetics" and shoehorn a bunch of poorly-researched Victorian bullshit into a degree dissertation where it doesn't belong.

She shows off the possible title: "The Sense of a Letter." It alludes to the superficial, aesthetics-first approach that Ruby is undoubtedly going to take with this.

But again, the puddle-brained lack of common sense is across the board - Ruby wastes a tonne of time handwriting a bunch of notes, even though she's only going to type this up in Notion and about 14 other places. This is the same dim-witted moron who keeps complaining that she doesn't have enough time to do important things and is always riding the edge of a deadline instead of being prepared. This kind of shit is precisely why.

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And then she continues wasting time by whipping out her Pumpkin Productivity timetable pad and using a pointless product for more redundant busywork. Note the 'transfer to tablet' task, where she can reward herself with a productivity placebo for her repetitious busywork, even though she's wasted time accomplishing nothing.

Again, this is another shitty, pointless product that does not suit her pretend needs. Each entry has one tickbox. Ruby crams it with additional tasks and has to create extra tickboxes. If you know you regularly need tickboxes for multiple tasks per session to pat yourself on the back for wasting time, why not build them into the design.

There's multiple possible explanations. Ruby has no real input in the design of her stationary and the low-rent company that Ruby's management team uses to manufacture and ship her products merely offers them minimal design tweak options for a very limited selection of products. Or they could have revised the design, but that would rob Ruby of the ego-boosting fuzzy feeling she gets when her abundance of busywork "productivity" can't be contained within the boundaries of even her own planners and timetables.

Also note that this timetable does not begin at 4:30, when she claims to have woken up. And there is no slot for "BRACKFSST" or any kind of food break at any point.

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(Outfit #2.)

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(Moments later...Outfit #3. It's supposedly not even 8am yet...)

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(Ruby's "made" bed.)

Her bedsheets have apparently had enough of these nightmarishly squalid conditions and try to escape the bed and flee the room while Ruby throws a random assortment of face products on. After plugging Glossier, because of course, she mentions that she puts on some "ASSPY-AFF" CC cream. Linguistics scholars believe that these alien words may derive from the human term "SPF", but opinions differ.

After she's gotten ready and travelled through time at least twice to change outfits, she subjects her parents to a horrifying "BRACKFSST".

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You'd get served better food in the fucking gulag. This doesn't even look like it's edible, let alone a meal. And I can't tell if that's a food tub or just a temporary toilet they keep in their kitchen - with the state of their home, anything's possible.

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Ruby heads back upstairs and takes an awkwardly long time trying to forcefully blow out her candle, to the point where her random "Polar ACKS-PRASS" ticket almost flies away in the gust of wind. Her candle snuffer is within arm's reach.

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After posing like a deranged fucking lunatic for no reason other than she is one, it's time for another outfit change:

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"It's really cold at the moment," she says, as she does at all times, regardless of the weather or location, "so I layered up and put an ACKS-tra tyoo jumpers on as well as my kyoat."

Ruby paints it like she just threw a jumper and coat onto what she already had on, even though there's a black t-shirt clearly visible that she wasn't wearing before and she cuts to a completely different outfit from top to bottom:

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She looks like she got dressed in the dark in a lost clothing warehouse.

Putting aside her wardrobe inconsistencies and lies, wearing a t-shirt, two jumpers, a scarf and a coat is by no means normal. It's no shock that she's always cold since she's been malnourished for a year, but also maybe try wearing the scarf under your coat and not lazily draped over it.

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She dumps her camera/phone in the mud to record herself walking away for some reason.

When she's back, it's time for more tea - rhubarb and custard flavour - and Ruby grabs her favourite mouldy-looking mug and is magically back in outfit #3 again.

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And then she buggers off into the sparse squatter's den of the "lounge".

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She pretends to read in the rubbery-looking chair with her bulky mug balanced precariously on the armrest, ready to spill all over her at any moment.

The wonky tree looks just as likely to drop on her. And to add to the safety hazards, a lava lamp burns away unattended in this room up the farthest corner where nobody will ever see it anywhere.

One layer of obnoxious royalty-free music just isn't enough, and an especially loud, sinister and weirdly oppressive rendition of Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy starts playing over the current track.

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And because subjecting them to her food nightmares wasn't enough, Ruby forces one of her family members to act as unpaid cameraman, film her pretending to read and no doubt shout encouraging praise when she reads an entire sentence.

And that's it!

Merry festivities and a happy Saturday, y'all! 🙈 💫
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member


I watched this out of morbid curiosity.

Main takeaways:

All comments praise Ruby for being so brave and that they're so proud and her words brought them to tears. All Ruby actually says in the video is "Bullying is bad, everyone should be kind." I didn't realise stating the obvious was brave?

Ruby claims she was bullied, but that she didn't realise it at the time. At no point does she say what this "bullying" entailed, but she alludes multiple times to it just being that people didn't want to be friends with her. Yeah, no shit. You left everyone in your class eyebrows-deep in homework they could've avoided because you wanted to suck up to the teacher.

"Having gone through this myself, I'm a lot more apt to help others." That's not what that word means. This after she says it's important to think about the things we say before we say them. That applies to basic English too, Ruby.



Here we see a day in the life of someone suffering a harrowing ordeal at the hands of bullies, but we're not told who.

Ruby wakes up huffing like a petulant child as the dogs bark downstairs. Are the dogs bullying her? Is she bullying the dogs? Are they all being bullied by someone else? It remains to be seen.

Ruby angrily puts her hair in a ponytail and then eats half a chocolate bar in a blind rage. The camera lingers on the wrapper, because bullying doesn't stand in the way of product placement.

She looks through texts from someone called Amber. Is this the bully? She seems to point out that Ruby had an ugly spot, so maybe?

She gets in the car with her mother, who's ready to drive her to school. Apparently this child is called Izzy, not Ruby, but the mother seems very unsure of the name. Early onset dementia perhaps?

Izzy/Ruby has trouble remembering the basic subjects she studies, so we can see she's not the brightest bulb. This seems to run in the family, as her mother starts the engine to drive to school, reverses 6 inches and then turns the engine off. They've arrived at school apparently! It's very convenient for Ruby/Izzy to attend school in her own driveway, but you have to ponder the environmental concerns of driving half a foot twice a day. Surely Izzy/Ruby could cycle instead?

Ruby/Izzy mills around the grounds of "school", closely guarded by the family dog. Is this the bully?!

She attends class(?) and scribbles a snail/sun instead doing any actual work. Since her class is only 1.4 seconds long and she's the only person in attendance, this doesn't seem like the best use of her time.

She flees the "classroom" and hides around the corner of her house school, where she checks for anyone following her, then reads a book, awkwardly defacing the corners with her fingernail.

She wanders to the house's school's "basketball court" which is comprised of one hoop, bend at a jaunty angle. One of the pitfalls of attending school in your own garden is that the athletic facilities aren't always state of the art.

A BASKETBALL FLIES AT HER OUT OF NOWHERE! It couldn't have been the dog, unless she's being bullied by Air Bud, which seems unlikely. Is her house/school haunted? Is she being bullied by poltergeists?! This is a trickier situation than we could have ever foreseen!

Back in her kitchen the school, she eats a sad sandwich, before talking to a bohemian hippy type who looks like her father but is actually her teacher, Mr Aldridge (Does the name sounds familiar? Because it should! That's Erimentha's teacher, too! Is Erimentha bullying Ruby/Izzy?! Or is Ruby only capable of coming up with one surname for a teacher?)

Mr. A is concerned that Izzy/Ruby's not been herself lately, but considering his career has reached the lows of teaching minute-long classes of one from a dank kitchen, it seems like he should be focusing on his own life right now.

Izzy/Ruby assures him, unconvincingly, that everything is fine and she has to leave as her mother's waiting for her. He should be able to see through her lies - the school day has only been in session for mere minutes, and he's sat in the same house/school as her mother.

After wishing Mr A. a good evening, Izzy/Ruby flees outside, where it's clearly early morning. Her mother is waiting in her car, presumably because the school day was 3 minutes long and she hasn't had chance to unbuckle her seatbelt since dropping Izzy/Ruby off at "school." Her mother doesn't even go through the charade of starting the engine this time. Izzy/Ruby just gets in, then they both immediately get out.

In her bedroom, Izzy/Ruby starts writing a letter. She starts halfway down the page, because wasting paper is good for the environment, but can only get as far as the letter 'I' - it's left ambiguous if this is because Izzy/Ruby is all that matters in the universe, or because she can't spell beyond that letter as her education takes place in 30 seconds-a-day sessions.

It's now nighttime, and Izzy/Ruby opens her chemistry textbook to find a note from Amber: "Just wanted to let you know that nobody likes you. :) - Love Amber. ❤"

It's tough to fault Amber's reasoning, or the friendly tone with which this information is offered. After all, we're shown just one day in Izzy/Ruby's life, and she doesn't bathe or brush her teeth at all, so she must be hard to be around. But since there's no other students in her house-school, and nobody has had access to her book besides her teacher-dad, her mother, the dog and the basketball-playing poltergeist, this is a true Agatha Christie whodunnit - who left the note? Who is Amber?! The dog? Her mother's split personality? A twisted figment of Izzy/Ruby's imagination?

Answers on a postcard, Tattlers: Who do you think it was?
 
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VeryFerociousDrama

Active member
Right, I've been umm-ing and aah-ing posting this for about a week as I wasn't sure whether I wanted to stoop this low or not, but what the hell:

Can Ruby and Blakeney's shipping name be Boobee?
 
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gossip_guy

VIP Member
(Apologies in advance - this might be the longest one yet...)

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"Before this video starts, this is just a quick reminder THAT the yehhly planner is still available on my website," Ruby says, sounding hoarse and ill. Wonder if that has anything to do with her running around several different cities maskless over the past week?

Her planner being available on her website isn't exactly the selling point she thinks it is. Last year, the planners sold out in a couple of days. Thankfully, most people have wised up to her scams and no longer wish to pay far too much money for a product that looks like something your great aunt would get you from Poundland for Christmas instead of chocolate as a punishment for not calling her ever.

In her rush to remind people that planners are still available for purchase, Ruby conveniently forgets to give the following, more important reminders:

  • Planners are not being shipped, and almost everyone who ordered planners weeks ago is still waiting for them to be sent out.
  • Customer service are ignoring all queries and refund requests.
  • Ruby, who claims to run the company (even though it's owned and run by he management company) is also ignoring most messages and comments, and offering lies and fob-off excuses to the few people she responds to.
  • That yearly planner that immediately starts decreasing in purpose and value on January 1st will not arrive before mid-January at the earliest.
  • No refunds will be offered, either partial or in full.
  • If you paid extra for tracked shipping, no tracking has been or will be provided. This was never mentioned to previous buyer and won't be mentioned to new buyers either. But don't worry, you don't need tracking - nothing's going to ship anyway. (Again, no refunds for shipping.)
Here's a couple of more helpful reminders:

If you were unfortunate to buy anything from Ruby and paid with PayPal, open a dispute for your purchase to get a refund. This can be done here:


If you paid by card, contact your card provider and advise them you want to file a dispute or initiate a chargeback for a purchase that hasn't been received or shipped and the retailer is not responding.

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After her shameless and dishonest self-promotion, she starts with the actual video.

Preparing for Christmas Vlog

Now, this time around, Ruby actually got all the capitals in the title in all the right places! Good job, Ruby! It only took you seven years of videos.

Unfortunately, she forgot some punctuation, so the title makes it seem like this is a video in which she prepares to make a Christmas vlog, instead of a vlog in which she prepares for Christmas.

Preparing for Christmas (Vlog)

See the difference that makes, Ruby? Maybe one day you'll get the hang of this whole English thing.

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Ruby makes Christmas cards, a process which apparently requires her to climb all over her desk while standing on a flimsy chair, because that's not a dangerous thing for a malnourished, easily-distracted person with no coordination to be doing...

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Ruby ran away from uni a couple of weeks ago to spend an entire day making Christmas cards with her mother and family friends. An entire fucking day. She also claims she's using her #gifted #sponsored Cricut to make all her Christmas cards this year, which is nowhere to be seen here. Ruby knows precisely four people. How many fucking trees do you have to offer up as sacrifice to make a mountain of Christmas cards you don't need, Ruby??

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Ruby reminds everyone how much she loves writing long cards and letters. There is no mention of anyone actually responding in kind.

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(Ruby's likely reaction when she sends a card with the wordcount of War & Peace, and gets a card in return that just says, "Regards, Blakeney.")

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She makes a point to show some affection to her dog, since it's a well-mentioned hallmark of Ruby's videos that she usually ignores her pets or seems annoyed by or afraid of them. The dog just gives her a confused look and goes back to sleeping.

"She's very tired," Ruby says. Yeah, tired of your shit.

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She grimaces awkwardly and twirls around the kitchen like a deranged lunatic.

A minute after the video has already begun, Ruby's unhinged battle cry rattles your ears: "HALLOO IT'S ROOBEE!"

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Ruby' apologises for not properly vlogging yet, even though it's SO LATE!

It's already ELEVEN THIRTY!

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And by "vlogging", she means "telling you at length all the same shit you just saw already in a much shorter timespan". Ruby says she's been writing cards and letters, which we already knew. Apparently she's been "negLACKting" this vital correspondence for too long.

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Remember, kids: Don't negLACKT your family and frANDs at Christmas! Show them you care by writing them a rambling diatribe all about yourself that'll take them until Easter to read!

Ruby's grandfather getting yet another one of her Christmas letters:

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Ruby shows off her room, and the bed which she ALWAYS makes.

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Whatever the fuck is happening with that duvet is a mystery to me. Either she's put on a duvet that's far too big for the bed, or she's put a single-size duvet on but it starts dead centre of her bed and then drapes all over the floor.

Either way, having a duvet touch the floor in that room, knowing how utterly filthy and encrusted in dust and dirt everything is makes me want to take a year-long shower.

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Ruby says she's just packing up her Depop orders and likes to include little notes in them. What she doesn't like, evidently, is sending orders out promptly - even though she went home from uni or saw her parents literally every week, a message that went up on her Depop said she'd only be shipping after October 20th, which was up long into November.

Along with her notes, Ruby includes, well...

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She says she likes to include a "washi tape sample" and smiles as though she's doing a good deed, and then coils this entire fucking length of tape around itself on the card...

So...she actually expects that someone will receive this, pry the washi tape away from the card and uncoil it, by which point it'll have lost its adhesive and won't stick properly anymore? What purpose or value does this have? Just put an unused roll of washi tape in the order as a freebie!

And you're thinking, "Well, maybe she includes on the note the name and details of the washi tape company, so this is just to show off the design?" But if that were the case, she could just put a 2 inch strip on the card. And also she doesn't include any mention of the tape on the card:

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Of all the weird shit Ruby does, this might qualify as one of the most absolutely insane.

You know what people would appreciate more than getting a hair-and-dust-covered length of unusable tape with their unironed, overpriced used clothes that arrived weeks late? A refund.

"It's currently TAN TO ONE," she says, and to celebrate, she's going to watch some "Christmas YouTube con-TANT". She also has a warm mug of tea, and I know the first thing I love to do with a hot beverage is shove my index fingers into it:

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After seemingly consuming tea through sponge-like orifices in her fingertips like some weird alien arachnid nightmare, she rambles about the "spiced paahh" tea, which I think is "spiced pear" in English. She said it's very spicy, and proves her refined palate and expert tasting skills by just naming every spice she can think of and saying it tastes like that. She recommends adding lots of maple syrup, or stewing it in apple juice or pear juice because, again, she's an alien.

Then Ruby swiftly moves on to some more ill-advised self promotion. She claims she's going to grab her current academic planner and make notes in it for ideas of things to change for next year's planner, even though the current planner only just came out. Because when your current product is an unmitigated disaster, just moving onto trying to sell something else to your dissatisfied customers is always a good plan.

She says she loves to look at feedback and see what they can improve or add. This is clearly bullshit. Nobody who paid for a planner is actually receiving their planners. How exactly do you expect people to believe you've already had feedback regarding the contents of the planner, Ruby?

Meanwhile, the major issues that plague every single product release - massive shipping delays, printing errors, customer service radio silence, lies from Ruby - all go unchanged.

It's all blatant lies and bullshit to make her seem like a productive and well-organised businessperson, and it couldn't come at a worse time.

And let's not forget, she says the same thing every year. After each new planner release, she claims to be hard at work on the next one, which doesn't add up at all. I mean, these are the last two yearly planners:

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Nothing changed but a tiny bit of text, a different bland, muted colour and a slightly different crappy doodle design on a few pages. Ruby would have you believe that this was a year of hard work and design revision. In reality, it was 5 minutes of adjustments to a design doc template by an underpaid intern on her management's staff.

And if she's had a year to plan it, it's especially damning when every product release happens far too late and they have countless issues.

Ruby continues her charade of lies anyway, and shows that her first step in pretend design revision is...a mind map:

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This planning technique that Ruby learned when she was 10 years old is her go-to method for absolutely everything, even though it's not at all suited or useful for most things, like plotting design revisions for an existing product.

"It's tyoo fifteen," she says. "I'm just going to keep going." She says there's three new spreads she wants to add for next year, so she's going to draft up examples. She does this by just scribbling some bullshit on her iPad, even though she should have access to the actual design templates for her planner.

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The one new section we see, aside from an index key, is a 'Self Care' section. This is an additional page where Ruby can remind herself to go outside, romanticise everything and not eat food, just in case she missed all the other sections where reminds herself to go outside, romanticise everything and not eat food. She does not show in full the three sections she mentions, so I'm not sure what the point in any of this footage was, besides the obvious attempt to look like she actually puts any work or effort into her business.

Again, all this performative time-wasting was time she could've spent responding to queries and complaints, offering refunds or partial refunds and reimbursing postage to make things right to her current customers and inspire them to stick around for the next one through good customer service. Instead, she ignored them, lied to them, did nothing to make sure the company with her name and face on does right by anyone and chose to film this woefully dumb and pointless preview for next year, even though most of her customer base will now, if they have any sense, never buy from her again.

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Ruby abandons her planner nonsense to wrap some Christmas presents.

She does this on the visibly dirty rug which has undoubtedly never come into contact with a vacuum cleaner. If I received a gift from Ruby, it would go directly into the incinerator. Why would you show yourself doing this on such a clearly filthy and disgusting floor? At least hoover first. Good lord.

To make matters worse, her duvet is now even further off the bed and has been half stuffed under it. I dread to think how much dust now covers the duvet that Ruby will just throw back on her bed and sleep on.

And then we see the end result:

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A haphazard mess of wrapping, bound in string, with a leaf cookie/ornament that looks like it'll crumble to pieces at any second stuck to it and a couple of sample packs of tea that Ruby had gathering dust in her cupboard for a year lazily shoved on the outside.

But wait, we're not done! Ruby pulls the tea out to remove that she's also folded up some random New Yorker clippings and included those, too:

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You know who also sends suspicious-looking grimy parcels and newspaper clippings to people? Serial killers.

Using advanced image enhancement techniques, I've been able to reveal the contents of this folded note:

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After taking the tea sachets out, Ruby can't even be bothered to try to put them back and just dumps them on top of the parcel:

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After moving this parcel from Ruby's filthy floor to her hands to her grimy windowsill, every inch of this shitty testament to Ruby's laziness now has so much contact bacteria on it that if you rubbed a Coronavirus test swab on it, it would detect every known variant of the 'rona along with 59 previously undiscovered new ones.

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Ruby says she's going to go to the "pyhost office" because she has lots of Christmas present parcels to send out to people abroad. She also lies and says she has "also got a giveaway of...some giveaway...THINGS tyoo send out..." Which is obviously bullshit. She refuses to send out things that people paid for, no way will she ever do it for free.

No parcels are shown, and then she's back home to do some bad yoga and ballet.

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(Pictured: Ruby practicing the 'Avoiding Responsibility' pose. The hands held outwards while looking in neither direction is symbolic of keeping all accountability at arms length, while ignoring multiple unhappy customers. The open trunk nearby symbolises the place where she'll keep all her ill-gotten planner and Holocaust charity money so the taxman doesn't take a cut.)

"YES, my room is a state," she sighs, as though this is a new thing that was unavoidable and isn't her fault.

"I've been using my trunk to store Christmas presents I bought for people."

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Wait, you mean this trunk, Ruby?

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You know, the one filled with mold...?

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I just can't. Why would you store presents (or anything at all) in there and then reveal this for the people receiving them to see?? "Merry Christmas, here's a shitty gift and a side order of ebola!"

She also reveals that she usually stores this swampy fungus trunk under her bed with the blanket of dust, but tonight she'll leave it in the open because she plans on doing more wrapping.

She then pulls her duvet up to shove some crap under her bed, but rather than adjust her draping duvet in any way, she just dumps it back on the floor.

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After that, Ruby has changed into her third outfit of this "day". She says she and Martha have made a Mexican feast, but as always, there's zero evidence that Ruby has eaten any of this off-screen food.

Instead she says she's going to taste-test a donut she got from London where she was the day before. Now, this vlog footage is supposed to be from Tuesday 15th December.

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Ignoring the fact that Tuesday was actually the 14th of December, Ruby was claiming on Instagram that she went to London on the Wednesday, yet here it's supposed to have been on Monday. Which begs the question, how many times last week did she fuck off to London with her family during a pandemic? Or just what lies is she telling about her schedule?

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Ruby eats two small bites of a giant stale donut and awkwardly cuts away. Her "review" amounts to "I should've eaten this when it was fresh".

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Next, it's "Wednesday 16th December", which is another date that didn't exist this year - Wednesday was the 15th of December.

In a bit of magical editing fuckery, Ruby goes downstairs to harass the dog, reappears upstairs to kick her rug under the bed (but not actually make the bed or change her now dusty and dirty sheets) as though she's going to put her yoga mat down, and then goes back downstairs to do bad yoga in one of the 183 dusty, unused living rooms in their house.

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After her dangerously uncoordinated yoga, she goes to the cluttered mess of a kitchen - where everything that should be in the cupboards is all over every usable surface because Ruby filled all the cupboards with tea and bullshit - to "bake lyoads of grunyohlah".

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Ruby apparently served this "grunyohlah" to her parents as breakfast, and why they never put her up for adoption is a mystery to me.

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(Pictured: Definitely not a meal. Certainly not breakfast.)

After leaving her parents alone so they could bin this slurry and eat an actual breakfast, Ruby says she's FINALLY going to change the pictures on the wall. That's right, after another outfit change, she's going to make a "Christmas Academia myood board". What the fuck is Christmas Academia, you may be wondering. I have no fucking clue, and neither does Ruby.

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And if you were relieved that Ruby had finally taken down her shrine to Anne of Green Gables and might be growing up and not idolising fictional children any more, well not so fast! This "Christmas Academia" prominently features stills of Mara Wilson in Miracle on 34th Street, Lisa Simpson and Kevin McCallister from Home Alone.

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And because nowhere is safe from Ruby's obsessive crusade to squeeze a sponsorship deal from Waterstones, the top left picture is just a photo of Waterstones' front window.

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Remember all those long nights of studying and academia on display in Home Alone? Remember that scene where Kevin couldn't defend his home because he was at the school library studying long into the night? Remember that subplot in Miracle on 34th Street where Mara Wilson got sent away to an elite boarding school? Me neither.

This is just a Christmas/Fictional Child Obsession Board. It has nothing to do with academia, and I'm increasingly convinced that Ruby genuinely thinks that "academia" is synonymous with "aesthetics".

When she's done patting herself on the back for her "myood board" which is "even better than last year's, and that's saying something", Ruby goes to awkwardly film herself walking outside in her third outfit of the "day".

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Remember when Ruby went on a tirade about how she doesn't like jeans and doesn't own or wear them? That was fun.

While out in the woods, Ruby says she wants to do some "fyoraging" for things to add to presents as decoration. As if mold, dust, filth and Covid bacteria wasn't enough, Ruby also wants to add leaves and holly sprigs that have been pissed on by wild animals or pinecones with deer ticks hiding in them to people's gifts to spread the festive joy of Lyme disease.

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Ruby's got friends coming over for a "Love Actually myoovie night" so she's decided to bake them some "PAPPERMINT dark chocolate brownies".

While her brownies are allegedly in the oven, Ruby's voice cracks and she seems exasperated as she explains that she's going to plan something that she needs to film today... Now, the way she's nervously prefacing it should say that this is gonna be good. And she doesn't disappoint.

"It's for two charity compan--[AWKWARD, JARRING EDIT]--I'm just going to PLAN THE CON-TANT and then I'll-will take out the browni--[AWKWARD, JARRING EDIT]"

So Ruby is partnering with/scamming money from charities again even after the NHS disaster, the Holocaust charity debaucle, the Unicef bullying video nightmare and so on. Another reminder that Ruby still hasn't returned the Holocaust charity money, nor has she shown any proof that her anti-bullying week ad revenue was donated to the causes she claimed it would when she was begging people to watch multiple times and sit through all the ads.

After dropping the charity bombshell, Ruby starts getting defensive about the outfit changes after reappearing in her fourth outfit of the day, which is also her second outfit of the day...

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"And I'm changed a-GANN, and I'm also planning on changing AGANN before by frands come over lyata!" she lies.

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"Syoo...AS PER USUAL, lotsandlotsofoutfitchanges--I JUST CHANGE OUTFITS ALOTTT."

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After lying her ass off like a big lying liar, Ruby heads to one of her many gloomy living rooms, this one looking like it was sparsely furnished with seating stolen from a Job Centre waiting room.

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Ruby says she's putting on some festive "vinyl RACK-ords", but we're then subjected to 'In the Hall of the Mountain King' yet again...

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After writing cards for her friends, she says she's going to mop the kitchen before they arrive, but looks completely confused and aggravated by this whole "cleaning" thing that she doesn't usually have to pretend to do.

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She rubs whatever cleaning fluids she found all over the kitchen floor with a mop and calls it a day.

She's also in her fifth outfit of the "day", which is identical to the first outfit of the previous day...

Ruby's friends allegedly come and then leave unseen, so they may be completely fictional.

She says they stayed for only half of Love Actually on this Love Actually movie night. So either they realised after reuniting with Ruby for the first time since school that only 45 minutes around her was more than enough and they bolted, or Ruby believes "movie night" is short for "myoove along, goodnight!" and threw them out into the street when she got bored of the movie.

She likely has a similar misunderstanding of a "movie marathon", and thinks that's when you invite people round to watch the first twenty minutes of a movie and then ask them to leave your house in the middle of nowhere to run 10 miles home.

After watching her mum put up some new light shades in a segment where Ruby's accent completely changes again, it's time for the next day.

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It's Thursday 17th December, or the 16th as it actually was.

"Here we are in the morning and I finally got around to changing my bedding for Christmas bedding!" Or, y'know, at all.

By "Christmas bedding", she means the same penguin duvet set she left on her bed unchanged for most of last year.

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It's time for more gift wrapping!

She bought Martha a single Glossier Balm Dotcom (the 'birthday' one, for some reason), and mentions that she "hasn't tried one of them before", so may not like or want one. She also got her the Gold Lip Gloss, which doesn't seem like Martha's thing.

She bought her Mum a Glossier Moon Mask and a Cookie Butter Balm Dotcom.

Ruby mentions that she's going to personalise her gifts for her mum and sister with "lots of little compliments".

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This is the family equivalent of giving a donation in someone's name at work for Secret Santa when they made the effort to get a thoughtful gift.

Not that monetary value is the most important thing with gifts, but Ruby is sitting on a shitload of money between all her lucrative, shady sponsor deals, stolen charity money, ad revenue, income from the house she owns, and so on. She had plenty of time to find a thoughtful, personal gift, or at least something that wasn't super cheap.

Martha's gift cost £22. Her mum's cost £28. And it was likely just crap she bought to bulk up her Glossier sponsor-begging order and not something she thought either of them actually wanted.

And she just shoves her written compliment cards in the standard ziplock delivery bag it came in rather than transfer them to a Christmassy gift box or something. Add to that the fact that the gifts were stored in a tomb of mold and disease and this is the most half-assed, thoughtless thing ever, especially when Martha seems to go the extra mile to buy Ruby thoughtful things.

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Ruby has a management call. Presumable they were collaborating on excuses to give to customers enquiring as to where their missing orders are.

"Just tell them we've sent them! That'll buy us a couple of weeks!"

Ruby rambles that she's going to write and sent some more letters and cards, including one to Sacha. Again, Ruby knows like four people. For someone so preachy about sustainability, she sure is wasting a lot of card and paper for no reason.

"Oh, and also! I never showed you..." Ruby says, as she shows us something she did, in fact, already show us:

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Is this the result of malnutrition-based memory loss, or just Ruby not paying attention while editing and failing to keep track of her fabricated schedule? I'll let you be the judge.

Ruby complains that she's cutting it fine by leaving it so late posting cards and letters. Even though all the people getting these apparently vital correspondence were only deemed worthy of 2nd Class stamps:

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She posts her stack of cards and awkwardly leaves them dangling on the edge for a while like a bizarre moron, apparently expecting some helpful post elf to grab them from inside or something. Eventually she pushes them in and you hear a loud, echoing thud as it hits the bottom of a clearly mostly empty postbox.

Ruby then rambles deliriously how she loves when you post letters at Christmas and you can't hear it hitting the bottom of the postbox, because this must mean that the postbox is full and that so many people must be receiving Christmas cards.

Because things like bills, housing, council, and business correspondence don't exist in Ruby's sheltered world of childish fantasy. It has to be Christmas cards. Also the postbox was mostly empty. And you could clearly hear it loudly hit the bottom.

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Another outfit later and Ruby is in another different living room to do yet more wrapping. This is for a friend of her mother's, which covers about 75% of the people Ruby knows, another 15% being her mother's friends' children, the other 5% being Blakeney.

This family friend is apparently so close that she feels to Ruby like a godmother, so she's going to re-gift her a wax seal from Note & Wish that was sent to Ruby for free, and only Ruby would want anyway.

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Ruby starts plugging Note & Wish, which is an "AT-SEA shop" that Ruby loves - she makes absolutely zero mention or disclaimer that Note & Wish have sent her gifted products.

She says she's going to make her own wrapping paper (by this she means she's just using brown packing paper instead of wrapping paper), then turns to sternly point at the camera:

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"I recycle MY paper as well," she says with pompous attitude, after showing herself wasting a small rainforest's worth of paper and card that could've easily been a few emails. But that wouldn't be "ass-thetic", would it Rubes?

And she neglects to mention all those times she had her parents drive back and forth across the country burning petrol and spitting out CO2 emissions unnecessarily because she couldn't go a few days without going home and wouldn't get the train herself because she's a big spoilt baby.

Or all those times she added to the postal service's carbon footprint by having her parents send parcels full of pointless crap that she could've collected from home in a couple of days anyway, all so that she could make believe she was getting care packages at a boarding school.

And what about all those times she praised companies for sending her tiny free food items in hefty, wasteful packaging even though she didn't need it and they could've easily sent an e-voucher for the same store-stocked items, like Manilife.

The list goes on. This ain't the hill to get self-righteous on, Ruby. Put your finger away and stop digging holes for yourself.

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This whole video is clearly just one long excuse to give the gift of gifted products or to advertise brands she hopes will sponsor her.

She mentions that she's going to add ink stamps to the wrapping paper, and gives a plug to the "AT-SEA" store who sent them.

Not content to confine herself to rubbing the gift all over the filthy floor of just one room, she takes it to a different room once she's done to pick up some dirt and grime from the floor there, too.

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By the time she's done, there's greasemarks and fingerprints on the paper as she turns it around, and it looks like something she found in the bin in an alley behind a butcher's shop.

But she's not done yet! There's also a card to violently smear across the dirty hardwood, and an additional gift!

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That's right, just what everyone want to find under their treat - a crappy granola bar.

Note the sleeve - outfit number three for this day. The footage here was also clearly filmed at night.

It's daylight again, and Ruby's gone with her mother to a charity shop that she refuses to name, because that would be too much like a good deed.

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Ruby beams about this doll because it apparently looks EXACTLY like she imagined Emily from A Little Princess to look. By which I assume she means 1.5 feet high and demonic, in which case add that to the list of books Ruby didn't read.

After that, they go to Hobbycraft, and she happily names them because they have money to potentially sponsor her.

She's there to get something to "go along with Martha's main gift" which Ruby can't tell anyone because she's scared it'll get back to her. She says we might be able to guess though, as she holds up a big jug/jar thing:

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Judging by the trend and quality of Ruby's given other people in this video, they fall into two categories:

1. Bacteria.
2. Things that Ruby likes or was gifted.

So if we assume that jar is a clue, Martha's main gift will either be a jar of sewage or those flowers that Ruby got from her management repurposed in a new jar.

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Ruby grabs some pens. She claims these are gifts for viewers, but they're clearly just for Ruby. She makes the point to show the prices, too, because leaving the price tag visible is always the proper thing to do with a gift. She happily shows that even when she's pretending to buy gifts for viewers, those common scum ain't worth spending more than £3 as far as Ruby's concerned.

And then they fuck off to John Lewis, because of course they did.

After torturing us with In The Hall of the Mountain King again, Ruby finds a musical card display which plays In The Hall of the Mountain King.

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Back home, Ruby says she has another gift for her mother, the audio is terrible (big shock) but she holds up a bag and says she bought her mother what sounds like "urinal balls", which would fit the bacteria trend.

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"It's an inside joke." Because those always make the best gifts.

She also got her a copy of Frankenstein, which Ruby says she's going to make a "literary gift box" out of. I mean, we've seen Ruby's creative skills. This won't end well. She's probably just going to glue macaroni and glitter all over the fucking book like a toddler.

"And her main gift I already wrapped." Following the trend, it'll just be a Miss Patina top covered in compost.

Ruby's family opening their presents from her:

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Putting all the gifts under the tree in their depressingly empty living room, Ruby turns it into a competition as she can't stop herself from pointing out how many of the gifts from her are under the tree compared to how few other people have put under.

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That might be because other people didn't just wrap a bunch of small re-gifted garbage and actually went and got something thoughtful, Ruby.

Ruby then giving a tour of the tree ornaments, but neglects to explain the touching festive family story behind the ornament with boobs all over it:

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And she finishes up by plugging the online Dickens Museum performance of A Christmas Carol.

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She slaps a disclaimer on-screen to say it's not sponsored, so you can take her word for it, even though moments before she was gifted tickets to this. What a fucking moron.
 
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