sitkx
VIP Member
Hi everyone, and happy December 5th! 
I'm back with yet another VLOGMAS commentary that no one asked for
Today, we tackle a big one -- 24 min two-days-combined vlog:
- Niomi begins the vlog by telling us, "wow wow wow what a night the Fashion Awards was!" just to remind us plebs that she attended the Fashion Awards and we didn't. This will be a running theme through the video.
- She explains that she's going to Soho Farmhouse, aka "one of my favorite places in the whole entire world", lmao
(Pictured: well-traveled Niomi, whose favorite place in the entire world is Soho Farmhouse)
- "Feel totally spoiled being at the Fashion Awards last night, and now going to Soho Farmhouse [for 2 days]. I mean what even is my life? It's ridiculous and I love it", she says self-indulgently with fake humility. I'm not sure if you guys know, but she attended the Fashion Awards last night. Did you know? The Fashion Awards?
- "It's 10:30 and I'm in my dressing gown! This is unheard of! I'm normally up by or before 7, workout, and ready and working by 9!"
- Niomi says she got a text from Joe that there's a cupcake waiting for her at a cupcake place.
(Pictured: Niomi instructing Joe before his India trip to get her a cupcake on the 3rd of December...or else)
(Pictured: Niomi showing Joey where the cupcake place is)
- In a desperate attempt to appease his master, Joey ordered not one, but a whole box of cupcakes.
(Pictured: Joey in India dialing the cupcake place to order the vegan cupcakes)
- A very smug and satisfied Niomi tells us that this is deja vu, because last year Joey ordered her a cupcake that said "miss you" on it.
"This year, major upgrade, I got SIX! Wow, okay...I'm gonna have to...try to...have the willpower not to eat them all"
- Niomi then pretends to try one of the cupcakes:
- We get an undeclared #AD #GIFTED for a range rover with vegan interiors: "When my friends get in, they think it's leather, and I'm like, nope!"
(Pictured: Niomi pointing at all her friends)
- "I just had to edit the video of the Fashion Awards, it was really fun, such a fun evening"
- We get to witness her masochistic tendencies and lack of critical thinking skills when Niomi says she will be biking to the gym the next morning, on a bike that is quite literally frozen solid:
Nobody:
Absolutely nobody:
Niomi on Instagram, after she rides a frozen bike in December for no reason whatsoever:
- She eventually returns home from Soho Farmhouse, and immediately goes to an hour-long hot yoga session because "the thought of being hot and sweaty is really appealing right now"
- She comes back from yoga, which was dreamy (what a surprise), and:
1) tells us AGAIN that Joey sent her money for sticky toffee pudding
2) tells us AGAIN that he sent her a bouquet of flowers
3) tells us AGAIN that he got her vegan cupcakes
4) tells us AGAIN that he is doing 12 days of advent for her
- Niomi explains that today dreamy Joey donated money in her name to sponsor some turtles.
Also Niomi:
- She makes a random "buddha bowl" for dinner and pretends to watch an episode of the Crown.
The End
---------------------------------------------------
Until next time, my tattle friends! x
I'm back with yet another VLOGMAS commentary that no one asked for
Today, we tackle a big one -- 24 min two-days-combined vlog:
- Niomi begins the vlog by telling us, "wow wow wow what a night the Fashion Awards was!" just to remind us plebs that she attended the Fashion Awards and we didn't. This will be a running theme through the video.
- She explains that she's going to Soho Farmhouse, aka "one of my favorite places in the whole entire world", lmao
(Pictured: well-traveled Niomi, whose favorite place in the entire world is Soho Farmhouse)
- "Feel totally spoiled being at the Fashion Awards last night, and now going to Soho Farmhouse [for 2 days]. I mean what even is my life? It's ridiculous and I love it", she says self-indulgently with fake humility. I'm not sure if you guys know, but she attended the Fashion Awards last night. Did you know? The Fashion Awards?
- "It's 10:30 and I'm in my dressing gown! This is unheard of! I'm normally up by or before 7, workout, and ready and working by 9!"
- Niomi says she got a text from Joe that there's a cupcake waiting for her at a cupcake place.
(Pictured: Niomi instructing Joe before his India trip to get her a cupcake on the 3rd of December...or else)
(Pictured: Niomi showing Joey where the cupcake place is)
- In a desperate attempt to appease his master, Joey ordered not one, but a whole box of cupcakes.
(Pictured: Joey in India dialing the cupcake place to order the vegan cupcakes)
- A very smug and satisfied Niomi tells us that this is deja vu, because last year Joey ordered her a cupcake that said "miss you" on it.
"This year, major upgrade, I got SIX! Wow, okay...I'm gonna have to...try to...have the willpower not to eat them all"
- Niomi then pretends to try one of the cupcakes:
- We get an undeclared #AD #GIFTED for a range rover with vegan interiors: "When my friends get in, they think it's leather, and I'm like, nope!"
(Pictured: Niomi pointing at all her friends)
- "I just had to edit the video of the Fashion Awards, it was really fun, such a fun evening"
- We get to witness her masochistic tendencies and lack of critical thinking skills when Niomi says she will be biking to the gym the next morning, on a bike that is quite literally frozen solid:
Nobody:
Absolutely nobody:
Niomi on Instagram, after she rides a frozen bike in December for no reason whatsoever:
- She eventually returns home from Soho Farmhouse, and immediately goes to an hour-long hot yoga session because "the thought of being hot and sweaty is really appealing right now"
- She comes back from yoga, which was dreamy (what a surprise), and:
1) tells us AGAIN that Joey sent her money for sticky toffee pudding
2) tells us AGAIN that he sent her a bouquet of flowers
3) tells us AGAIN that he got her vegan cupcakes
4) tells us AGAIN that he is doing 12 days of advent for her
- Niomi explains that today dreamy Joey donated money in her name to sponsor some turtles.
Also Niomi:
- She makes a random "buddha bowl" for dinner and pretends to watch an episode of the Crown.
The End
---------------------------------------------------
Until next time, my tattle friends! x
sydneybarrett
Well-known member
Okay I was curious so I googled it & found a bunch of his OF posts. I don't even know if I'm allowed to post them but if people were able to post Forky's ugly ass from Mauritius I guess it should be fine? Idk lol maybe I'll get suspended or something but tbh I'm more concerned about government monitoring my online activity who'll think I'm into marky butt butt's nudes.. 
Nina2312
Active member
Ooops I did it again 
OMG hahaThank you for my avatar @Ramster93 !
No one:
Not a single soul:
Nimbobs: Feeling ever so pleased that I've successfully stashed away 12 jars of non organic peanut butter:
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She’s just happy it’s one less person married before her.
sydneybarrett
Well-known member
yeah no wonder she's been oversexualizing herself lately, when she had a normal boyfriend (Joe) she never felt the need to post thirst traps, even when she posted bikini photos they were never this tacky & cheap-looking; now she's dating her love who lives by the saying "sex sells" so we're forced to have her nonexistent ass all in our face 24/7. i mean, let's just look back at some of his events:
come on Jamie give us a rating of Niomi's t.i.t.s, do you reckon she'd be able to gain access to your party??
come on Jamie give us a rating of Niomi's t.i.t.s, do you reckon she'd be able to gain access to your party??
mitzy4ever
Member
Shutterbug99
VIP Member
Jelly Bean
VIP Member
Thank goodness I watched Niomi's video.
I was in Tesco this morning and somebody asked me the time. Normally I would ignore intrusions like this because people are so annoying and usually I'm doing something really important. But something about what she said clicked. I thought 'what would Niomi do'. The hairs on the back of my neck literally stood on end as I said 'it's half past ten'. Their eyes filled with tears as they said 'gawd bless you, miss, gawd bless you'. I don't think they were used to simple acts of kindness. Thank you for all you do Niomi. We don't deserve you
I was in Tesco this morning and somebody asked me the time. Normally I would ignore intrusions like this because people are so annoying and usually I'm doing something really important. But something about what she said clicked. I thought 'what would Niomi do'. The hairs on the back of my neck literally stood on end as I said 'it's half past ten'. Their eyes filled with tears as they said 'gawd bless you, miss, gawd bless you'. I don't think they were used to simple acts of kindness. Thank you for all you do Niomi. We don't deserve you
judgejohndeed
VIP Member
WHO the fuck is paying 1000 euro an hour to get life advice from a literal farmyard animal? Eat the rich I stg
Hey everyone. I never posted here but I read 
sorry about my English, I’m from Portugal.
Just wanted to say Im pretty sure I saw Niomi and Lordon on the street. Niomi was looking at her phone the whole time, and her hair looks so dry in real life. Lordon was looking around with his mouth open (looked like he was confused the whole time, as if he was seeing the world for the first time). This was only some minutes on the street, just thought it was interesting to share!
sorry about my English, I’m from Portugal. Just wanted to say Im pretty sure I saw Niomi and Lordon on the street. Niomi was looking at her phone the whole time, and her hair looks so dry in real life. Lordon was looking around with his mouth open (looked like he was confused the whole time, as if he was seeing the world for the first time). This was only some minutes on the street, just thought it was interesting to share!
ok so i’ve been a lurker of niomi’s thread literally since the beginning and finally felt compelled to make an account just to let you all know how much i appreciate the humour & commentary you’ve all been providing me for such a long time, but especially in this awful new Bali era
i’m an indigenous woman and, without providing too many personal details, come from a small country that has a violent colonial past & struggles to this day with cultural (and physical) erosion hugely exacerbated by uncaring tourists. it makes watching Niomi so ignorantly swan around Bali with zero understanding of or respect for the local culture and environment feel physically painful—i can’t even bear to watch her YT vids or Insta stories anymore, I just rely on you all to keep me updated
all this to say I became so emotional as I was catching up on this latest thread and saw many of you calling her out for her ignorance on the matter. i know this forum attracts a diverse set of people from all around the world with many different backgrounds, so it really moved me to see such an understanding of the impact tourists and digital nomads can have on local communities and environments if they don’t know or care to be mindful. i just wish it was people like you all who had the platforms and privilege to become the influencers and digital nomads of the world, not the smoothie bowl weather Niomis.
anyway, thank you all for the entertainment and the rants, back to lurking i go!
i’m an indigenous woman and, without providing too many personal details, come from a small country that has a violent colonial past & struggles to this day with cultural (and physical) erosion hugely exacerbated by uncaring tourists. it makes watching Niomi so ignorantly swan around Bali with zero understanding of or respect for the local culture and environment feel physically painful—i can’t even bear to watch her YT vids or Insta stories anymore, I just rely on you all to keep me updated
all this to say I became so emotional as I was catching up on this latest thread and saw many of you calling her out for her ignorance on the matter. i know this forum attracts a diverse set of people from all around the world with many different backgrounds, so it really moved me to see such an understanding of the impact tourists and digital nomads can have on local communities and environments if they don’t know or care to be mindful. i just wish it was people like you all who had the platforms and privilege to become the influencers and digital nomads of the world, not the smoothie bowl weather Niomis.
anyway, thank you all for the entertainment and the rants, back to lurking i go!
Mr.Mistoffelees
Chatty Member
