niomi smart : Most liked Posts

If a guy puts on a 15min timer and tells me "i'm going to touch your pussy", I would get my knickers back on so fast and bolt! LOLOLOL I ACTUALLY CAN'T, I'VE LOST IT, I AM LAUGHING SO MUCH I AM CRYING. I'VE DIED.

I just vomited in my mouth

'Sex yoga and the peen shadow' have to appear in a thread title

They've both lost the fucking plot haven't they?

Also look how parading Joe worked out for her - remember ‘he’s her lobster’ well that lobster is back in the ocean now and Niomi downgraded from seafood to farm creatures soooo if I were her I’d dial it down a bit

Love the comments

That dig about ‘western medicine’ has annoyed me so much…they’ve given you that oil because your lump isn’t anything nasty, if you needed chemo or something I don’t think you’d be dissing it then

That photo looked familiar to me so I went back to her engagement video and the thumbnail has pretty much the same photo lol hand in hand, the ring, the beach & the ocean...




It's okay Nims, I'm sure if you squint your eyes a little bit you can pretend it's Joey lol

It's telling she's dedicating more time to losing a suitcase than she did to losing her grandpa

No offense to anyone who went through a hard time and felt better after having kids, I'm glad it worked out for you. But for most people, if they haven't dealt with trauma, having kids only means perpetuating the cycle.

Maybe this is too serious for a gossip thread, but Niomi as she stands, were she to have a baby in 9 months would be far more likely to continue with her self destructive behavior, pass it on, raise that child with a host of emotional issues and eating disorders, and be the type of narcissistic parent that either raises another narcissist or creates an extremely insecure adult, than she'd be to grow up and become a better person.

Let's not use kids in lieu of therapy. Niomi right now would benefit from therapy, not from procreating.

This plays into her thinking of "oh, if only I moved here, it'd all work out", "oh, if only I were engaged", "oh if only I were starting my own family." Nope, she'd still be her. There's no magic wand to stop being one self. She's got destination addiction, both in the literal destination sense and the figurative destination sense.

Enjoying this comment on Forky's Paris pic

I don't post on this forum as much anymore because I unfollowed Dumbo several months ago now (my life has been so much better since!). But I do check the thread every now and again to catch up and have a laugh at how ridiculous this person is. All I have to say is: your break up was nearly a year and a half ago now. Just shut up and move on already. I swear this bitch has so little going on in her life she will keep dwelling on this for decades to come and acting like the biggest victim in the world. It's beyond embarrassing and frankly out of touch considering the state of the world right now. She brings EVERY little thing back to her breakup. Someone asks for general life advice, she gives them relationship advice. Someone asks for her favorite book, she mentions a book about being single. She buys her first house, she talks about how hard moving as a single person is. We get it, he dumped your ass. Now how about you focus on the million privileges you have in your life? Being able to own a house in London, traveling constantly, having a supportive/united family around you, not ever needing to worry about money, getting free shit every single day of your life, being healthy, having all the time in the world to yourself, not having to show up to a job every single morning, being a white/wealthy/conventionally attractive woman who will never have to face any form of discrimination or adversity in achieving whatever she wants. I could go on. If that guy is "so horrible," "so selfish," or whatever the fuck you're trying to convince yourself that he is, then you should be glad that he left you and is out of your life now! Sounds like he did you a favor. Now shut the fuck up and GROW UP.

Borrowing from @lilamay 's miso post here:

Niomi Smart #29: miso happy, miso thin, miso single, miso dim

That breakfast makes miso sad.

sarah17020661 said:

View attachment 361595View attachment 361596
Niomi “I’m totally zen and over it” Smart

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Ha erm...do any men actually do what in real life? Turn up and propose to someone they barely know? I mean...going by Niomi and Joe’s relationship I would say yes

Except she’s not princess diana and anyone who can take a bite of a raw unripened cucumber and look straight at the camera and say, “delicious” is a psychopath that can move on from a long term relationship without emotions.

Chocolate2008 said:

Msybe they had a chat the night they had the awful looking pizza on the balcony

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"Why would you serve me this? What even *is* it? The Pizza Gods are WEEPING--their misery is a river of mozarella and tears, one I must surrender and follow."

"But where does such a river lead, Joey? Surely only to a lactose-induced stupor of weight gain and shame."

"It, er...it leads to Dubai."

"Dubai. Right." A long silence. "I see." (She does not see, she who longs for country cottages and cashew cheese)

"Farewell, plant-based strumpet!"

"Wait, what? You're actually going?!"

"Yes. You can finish my abomination--sorry, pizza--if you like."

"Eat TWO pizzas?"

/Sound of door slamming

"Two pizzas...at once?" /fade out


(Does this count as fanfic? I feel like it does, weep)

I just keep laughing at the utter patronising dross Dim kept spewing out about how she and JAMIE WHITE had cracked having the paahfect relationship. Embrace being childish and silly! Dancing! Journalling! If you're feeling sad fly to Baahli!
And now she's trying to pretend he never happened. Hahahaha. She's so fucking up her own hole she can't acknowledge she fucked up massively. But anyone who says 'where's your LOVE? Who you loved?' is now a hater. She is utterly ridiculous.

I'm so mortified for her. "Never did I think I'd be a sculpture" as if Leonardo Da Vinci himself has hand-picked her rather than some Instagram spon-con.

He deleted all the comments on that YouTube video. This is the only one left!

I reckon an attempt at a fork reunion..she has already started to like his pics again on insta lol