caroline hirons : Most liked Posts

On one of Dr Natalia's recent posts

MY GOD ….. 39!!!!!!!! I honestly thought she was mid 50s … AVOID THE BLUE BABOON PEOPLE

NaFeTe said:

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How the actual fuck can being on a horse allow you to check a fb page yet not allow you to do a Google search, or the email, or the insta or the blog etc? This is from the fair pricing freaks page. I've had a scroll through the freaks page as I can't sleep and has anyone else noticed the increase in people diagnosed with cancer this evening, the same evening that the kits been released?

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Hahaha, this might be my favourite freak post of the year.

Actually, I'm in the middle of a skydive rn, could someone in Hirons HQ put a kit aside for me? I don't want to miss out and if I try and do it now I might not have time to deploy my parachute xxx
P.s. Re-applied my SPF after jumping

ETA OMG love you guys so much! Selfie is filter-free but I am flying through the air rn so jowls probably getting a lift from the windspeed lol. I'll review my SPF empties as soon as I've landed xx (I've got a lot of experience of high-altitude jumps so know how important it is when you are THAT close to the sun itself ).

Tattle Freaks I need advice!

I cleansed my face this morning and I had forgotten to cover my flannels last night so for a full 12 hours my flannels had been exposed to the bathroom environment.
Stupidly I still used one and the result is in the pic at the end of my post.

What do you suggest to rectify this please?
I need to sort it pronto because I work for the NHS (clap for me ) and I don’t want to scare the patients.
I’m currently wearing a paper bag on my head so that I don’t worry my 25 children (did I mention I’m also a single mother - the Radfords have it so easy - try doing it on your own!).

I’d love to try Blue Baboon but it’s out of my budget so recommendations for anything under 25p would be great. I’m thinking a strong acid followed by Tret.

Oh and to save time, my PO Box details are listed on my skincare blog: suckerborneveryminute-nowfundme.co.uk

Pic - no make up, no filter…

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Ready for the ultimate boast?


I am single and live with my cat. She doesn't have a skincare routine

On that live she actually said these words - and this is verbatim:
'People who put their mental health out there need a slap'.
She actually said that. According to her if anyone talks about their MH it isn't real as proper sufferers from it *always* internalise it.
Way to denigrate people feeling confident enough to verbalise their struggles, or try to seek help. If you talk about it it isn't real.
Well fuck her. And fuck her stupid kit launch. I hope it falls flat in its arse. She's disgusting.

There’s usually a kernel of legitimate concern/criticism when Caroline goes off on one of her tirades. But instead of stating her case she makes it so personal - it’s bullying and she becomes fixed on winning at any cost. It’s disturbing how much she seems to enjoy being nasty and seeing how far she can go to reduce someone.

Eg the Glossier toners were shit but it’s disgusting to publicly post “listen love I own bras older than you so you need to shut up” to the Glossier marketing woman.
Drunk Elephant were saying some questionable things about retinol (iirc) but there was no need to wage war against them. And on and on the list goes. It’s vile behaviour. Trinny is just the most recent chapter.

In fact the leaked DM from the Drunk Elephant guy (from the time of their spat) sums CH up: abject hostility about the world in general.

Bertha said:

Before you know it, your personal information discussed in any groups/safe spaces run by freaks would become a case study post on the Freaks group.

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Ah god yes.
Might pop this up.
“My good friend is going through menopause, and she’s got the lot - vaginal dryness, hot flushes and awful mood swings! Her husband also just left her for a 22 year old, and her son went to prison last week. She’s put on quite a bit of weight and has acne now. Thought I’d do her a little care package - what should I include? Please no expensive recommendations, I’m an nhs worker doing 138 hours a week for no money.”
#nhs #keyworker #iworkwithsickpeople #goodfriends

edited to add: #proudmum #autisticchildren #tired

She thought she could cut out the middleman and pocket their share too, but turns out middlemen actually do most of the work.

Really feel for this poor young lady being talked about so patronisingly, and I’m sure she’d be absolutely mortified to receive the bible and some unsolicited products. Thankfully a good proportion of the posts were indicating (politely) that it was a pretty bad idea, but who knows whether Lady Bountiful will take that on board

This person is leaving some excellent comments - not sure how she’s not been ejected from the group yet

She should be able to view orders within a date range, order by value high to low, and then refund anything above the cost of one kit. Even for say 2000 orders that should have taken an hour, maybe two, for her team of 5. Biggest problems solved. Then you contact all those who’ve been refunded and offer them a chance to repurchase additional (in case they were legit double orders) and give them a day’s grace to respond. Then you open it up to the masses again. Solved by Monday.
Shes also told a little fib. Companies absolutely do have access to PayPal and shopify revenue as soon as it’s cleared which for 99.99% is within 5 minutes. It is absolutely not only given to Caroline when the order is shipped. As a tech person who lives ans breathes this stuff, the idea that she thinks she can just spin up a dodgy little Wordpress site for £12m of revenue is insulting.

LyraBalaqua said:

Blue Tickers Matter.
#btm#boobloodyhoo

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Borrowed @LittleBirdie pic… (hope she won’t mind)

Traazers said:

That OCD post was ridiculous.

also, these below are the same person. How much money are we putting on her just buying herself this stuff? Why would such an ardent freak not have already had the book?

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Minus 50 Freak points for not already having a copy of THE BIBLE, it has been out for a year and a half, absolutely zero excuses, some fan she is.

10 Freak points for mention of a hapless-sounding husband.

Minus 20 Freak points for the Aldi skincare.

Minus 10 Freak points for not being "in the hospital".

Overall, -70 Freak points for this post. Could have had an extra 20 Freak points if the husband started telling the staff at Aldi to get a copy of The Bible, but he didn't. Poor effort.

Wobblehead said:

Jesus Wept

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What’s Gangsta gonna do , take the boys round and spray them to death with that gurning face mist?

DOODLELADY said:

Wellllll. New sticky at top of group “No cultural appropriation” is in the re written rules. So, that’s Ava banned

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But also place your bets on which version of Hirons will fall foul of this rule first:

Original Gransta Caroline "Wasteman" Hirons
Mississippi Caroline "My Mum's Got Black People Hair! If you know you know!" Hirons
L'Chaim Caroline "I'm the Best Jewish Mother and I'm Not Even Jewish!" Hirons
Begorrah Caroline "No-one's More Irish Than Me!" Hirons
Performative Liverpudlian Caroline "Scouse! Yes, Me! I'm Scouse! Listen to me put on the accent! I bet you can't understand me, I'm so Scouse!" Hirons
Cherokee Princess Caroline "My Ancestors are Native American, look at my cheekbones!" Hirons

...and all the rest of them (I'm sure I've forgotten some of her "Did y'all know I'm [insert random ethnic or racial group]!" twattery)

For someone who freely admits contacting Black businesswomen and telling them not to play the race card she really does like to shuffle her own (non-existent) deck.

What really really annoys me is the fact she has stated SO MANY TIMES how much she dislikes masks and they don’t really do much, do not spend your money here ... “ adds £105 mask to the kits”

how she doesn’t like anything gimmicky or unicorns, pink, girl marketing crap and yet adds “pink drink” to the kits ... couldn’t even explain what it did when she revealed it.

never said much about dermalogica other than “meh “ alright ... “ adds £125 serum to the kits” and raving about them ...

it’s all that kinda bullshit that annoys me and just takes away any integrity from her... she’s just not believable anymore!

Also, do I put my left leg in my knickers first or my right? And do I do this before or after my trousers and skincare?

ASA got back to me about the misleading Black Friday advert, they contacted her

Thank you to this freak for adding in the arrow, i'd never have known which product you were referring to otherwise.