This has been cracking me up all afternoon Doreen my doll
. Early nomination for next thread title. Zoe Sugg 10, cleanest bumhole in Brighton
Zoe Sugg #9 Orangella needs A new fella! #autumnal
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. Early nomination for next thread title. Zoe Sugg 10, cleanest bumhole in BrightonEven when/if they do break up, it will take a solid few months to legally sort out the sharing of all their assets/businesses. They just need to get on with it sooner rather than later.
I feel like he will organise a trip to Paris and then do something similar to that jewellery shop present
She's not getting a proposal anytime soon and serves her right. The amount of things she has done in the past, lying and scamming her fans, it's karma. I don't care how much she whines about bullying, she brought it all on herself. She's almost 30 and her life is tragic. Money and things aren't everything, she has little friends and never does anything. She needs to sort herself and that chimp of a boyfriend out.
If he does this again then he deserves all the backlash. It is not cute or funny to string along your girlfriend into thinking a proposal is coming only to do all the grand gestures but not the actual proposal itself.
He is very much over Zoe. The way he treats her from 2014 to now is night and day. Heās absolutely over it. 100%. If that āsheās not the oneā wasnāt a clue... Heās just milking it along because of the money and sheās keeping his relevancy somewhat alive (hello video thumbnails).
THIS. Sums up everything about her perfectly.
I bet part of the reason neither have broken up with one another is also cause of the legal stuff, the businesses etc, and also Nala. She might only be a dog but that can be a real sore spot in a relationship, as to many they really are family.
Didnāt she completely flop on celebrity bake off? Pretty sure Paul Hollywood told her her cake was over baked and dry [emoji1787] not worth the calories.
Possibly they are both incapable of imagining life without the other and a bit scared of it even. In the time theyāve been together theyāve gone through some things that for most people take decades at very best - Earning 7 figures, buying and selling several houses, being the heads (in name at least) of businesses. None of that is normal twenty something stuff. They are so unrelatable to most people their age I think they would both struggle to have a relationship with a regular person in their twenties living pay check to pay check and slowly paying off the student loan. Like how actors date each other.
I could honestly imagine Alf proposing to Zoe on her 30th just for all the attention he would receive for that - he would make a big YouTube video and IG post and who knows what else. Then months and months will pass without them actually setting a wedding date until eventually one of them breaks it off.
I think Zoe in particular would struggle being with someone else. Sheās used her anxiety as such a shield over the years and an excuse to avoid doing so many things.
By the time youāre in your 30s, you sort of need to be getting a bit real - particularly if you want kids.
Alfie is bored to death of her but he just gets on with doing whatever he wants anyway. And she puts up with his man child behaviour.
Who normal would want to saddle themselves with a 30 something woman who doesnāt want to do anything but stay on the sofa and makes excuses to avoid basic normal human interactions? It would be boring as sin.
That said if she was thrown out of her comfort zone and actually got a life it would be the best thing for her, but sheād have to be prepared to change.
By the time youāre in your 30s, you sort of need to be getting a bit real - particularly if you want kids.
Alfie is bored to death of her but he just gets on with doing whatever he wants anyway. And she puts up with his man child behaviour.
Who normal would want to saddle themselves with a 30 something woman who doesnāt want to do anything but stay on the sofa and makes excuses to avoid basic normal human interactions? It would be boring as sin.
That said if she was thrown out of her comfort zone and actually got a life it would be the best thing for her, but sheād have to be prepared to change.
Apart from when Mark pops round and offers him a sneaky suck
I agree with this to a certain extent, her lifestyle is not one that many people in the real world would put up with. It would be a culture shock for her to have a boyfriend with a "normal" job.
Having said that, I wouldn't be surprised if her anxiety reduced significantly if she wasn't with Alfie though. I think there is a massive link between her sedentary life (anxiety) and their relationship.
I know Alfie is a complete and utter twit, but I think he deserves a medal for putting up with Miss I'm Frightened of Everything. It must piss him off that she won't get out of her comfort zone though. Maybe that's why he's always out with other people while she stays at home and festers away like her pumpkins are probably doing. He's obviously gone off her now because he realises that she's never going to change how she is.
I despise the both of them, but Zoe irritates me more
I despise the both of them, but Zoe irritates me more
I hope they do stay together tbh as it seems unfair to make two other people unhappy. The last time they had any chemistry was years ago when Zoe had that seafront flat. She always seemed to have the upper hand in the relationship then which for some reason suited them. Now she seems needy and a bit pathetic around him and he definitely is in charge being openly nasty about her. Does he ever call her 'lickle one' any more 
? He is only staying with her because of the stupid 'brand' that nobody gives a tit about anyway.
? He is only staying with her because of the stupid 'brand' that nobody gives a tit about anyway.Yeah remember when she had panic attackās at a few conventions like Playlist circa 2014/2015? Alfie genuinely seemed very supportive and caring. I didnāt even like him back then but I couldnāt help but acknowledge that, I recall. He was a real strong source of support to her it was clear.
I think he was probably a bit in awe of having this good looking girlfriend, older than him too. He was still very innocent seeming back then. As the years have gone on, his ego has hugely expanded and their dynamic shifted. He clearly thinks heās better than her now and likes to make it known with subtle digs. Her age is now something to tease her about rather than something which makes him look like the man. And as so often happens with a partner acting like a twit, itās meant sheās become far more needy towards him.
I think he was probably a bit in awe of having this good looking girlfriend, older than him too. He was still very innocent seeming back then. As the years have gone on, his ego has hugely expanded and their dynamic shifted. He clearly thinks heās better than her now and likes to make it known with subtle digs. Her age is now something to tease her about rather than something which makes him look like the man. And as so often happens with a partner acting like a twit, itās meant sheās become far more needy towards him.
I go back and forth on who I despise more. They're both awful in their own ways. They really do bring out and enable the worst in each other. They have such a destructive and barely functioning relationship at this point. If I'm being honest, I think I hate Alfie just a bit more because his face is harder to stomach especially when he does his modelling poses for his "not a merchandise" Future's Elf or the fact he can never shut his mouth properly after getting those dentures. Constantly poking fun at Zoe or his friends, you know he would never let anyone take a shot at him the same way.I know Alfie is a complete and utter twit, but I think he deserves a medal for putting up with Miss I'm Frightened of Everything. It must piss him off that she won't get out of her comfort zone though. Maybe that's why he's always out with other people while she stays at home and festers away like her pumpkins are probably doing. He's obviously gone off her now because he realises that she's never going to change how she is.
I despise the both of them, but Zoe irritates me more
It's interesting to see two people who are in a long term relationship wanting very different things in their relationship as more time progresses. Esp w/ Zoe boasting about it on social media what a 'gent' Alfie is or even in her recent Grazia interview how happy she is to be in a relationship. I think she's been staring at too many photos from 2014 and refuses to see the sorry state her relationship is at currently where the power dynamic has shifted all onto Alfie for some reason. Alfie clearly wants to be a kid as long as possible, playing with his endless toys while Zoe wants a ring and a baby. Either way she better lower her expectations a whole lot come her 30th birthday and afterwards. It's only going to keep going downhill at this rate.
Yes, I think she has the upper hand where looks come into it
. Alfie is definitely no oil painting
. To be honest if she was to get pregnant I can't imagine how she'd cope, she'd be bedridden for the whole 9 months lying in bed surrounded by pizza boxes and soggy doughnuts
. Hasn't she also got that phobia where she's terrified of throwing up (emetophobia), because imagine if she suffered from morning sickness
. Then also there's the thing that would worry me most, what if it looked like Alfie- Status