Rbarb-bkini
Well-known member
These are three I distinctly remember hearing at primary school:
A man was taking his girlfriend to a party. Halfway up the driveway he gets her to climb onto his back, and he knocks on the door. The person answers and says to him, "Did no one tell you it was fancy dress?"
He says, "Yeah! I'm a tortoise, and this is Michelle."
-
Two nuns were driving through Transylvania when a vampire jumped on the bonnet of their car. The first nun said to the second nun "Quick, show him your cross!"
The second nun sticks her head out of the window and yells "Oi, piss off, you've made me very angry!"
-
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman stumbled across a pool with a slide. A sign told them it was a magic slide and that when you call out what you want as you're sliding down that is what they will find at the bottom. The Englishman slides down and yells "Beer!" and splashes into a pool of beer. The Scotsman slides down and yells "Whiskey!" and splashes into a pool of whiskey. The Irishman who hadn't been paying attention slides down and in that moment of enjoyment yells "Weeeeee!"
A man was taking his girlfriend to a party. Halfway up the driveway he gets her to climb onto his back, and he knocks on the door. The person answers and says to him, "Did no one tell you it was fancy dress?"
He says, "Yeah! I'm a tortoise, and this is Michelle."
-
Two nuns were driving through Transylvania when a vampire jumped on the bonnet of their car. The first nun said to the second nun "Quick, show him your cross!"
The second nun sticks her head out of the window and yells "Oi, piss off, you've made me very angry!"
-
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman stumbled across a pool with a slide. A sign told them it was a magic slide and that when you call out what you want as you're sliding down that is what they will find at the bottom. The Englishman slides down and yells "Beer!" and splashes into a pool of beer. The Scotsman slides down and yells "Whiskey!" and splashes into a pool of whiskey. The Irishman who hadn't been paying attention slides down and in that moment of enjoyment yells "Weeeeee!"
