If my husband is irritating me, I'll move the bookmark in his current book back a page or two just to watch him all confused re-reading the same page(s) again. 
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When I was really young I was dating a colleague but he cheated on me with another colleague, who I already really hated anyway, and started seeing her. I worked in the cash office (it was like an amusement place) and we would make up coin floats for the tills in like security bags and people would come and grab the bag for their till at the start of the shift. When she was working I always made her float up short so that her till would be short at the end of the shift, I was really subtle and would take a few coins out of each bag so it wasn't obvious and unless she emptied the bags and counted the coins (which no one would ever do) she would never have noticed.
She never got in any actual trouble but it would mean a manager would have to come over to recount it with her to 'authorise' it being short, and we didn't close until 2am so it always added time on to when she could leave!
I also did the payroll and we had clocking in cards, we were supposed to round up or down to the nearest 15 mins, I was kind and would always round the start time down and the finish time up....on everyone else. Did it the other way round for her obviously.
She never got in any actual trouble but it would mean a manager would have to come over to recount it with her to 'authorise' it being short, and we didn't close until 2am so it always added time on to when she could leave!
I also did the payroll and we had clocking in cards, we were supposed to round up or down to the nearest 15 mins, I was kind and would always round the start time down and the finish time up....on everyone else. Did it the other way round for her obviously.
A few years ago I was going through a really bad breakup with an abusive, gaslighting wanker. We were selling our house together so had to keep in touch regarding that for about a 6 months. During this time he had a few new ‘girlfriends’.
Anyway he came to me playing all emotional and asking for help because he’d got his new ‘gf’ of a month pregnant, and he had no money to support etc. Initially I told him to duck off as I knew it was bullshit. He kept going begging for sympathy so I said alright i’ll see if I can help.
I googled ITV sign up to Jeremy Kyle, got the number and gave it to him. It was some random name to ask for so I told him to ask for Sarah or Jeremy, told him that I’d explained his situation to them and that they were gonna help sort him out and give him his options.
It confirmed it to me that it was total bullshit when he didn’t ring for at least a week. When he did I got a nasty call telling me to duck off and what did I think I was doing. I kept really serious and said “I think Jeremy is the only person who can help someone like you at this stage” it gave me a good laugh after.
The ‘gf’ conveniently ‘fell down the stairs and lost the baby’ within a few days.
Anyway he came to me playing all emotional and asking for help because he’d got his new ‘gf’ of a month pregnant, and he had no money to support etc. Initially I told him to duck off as I knew it was bullshit. He kept going begging for sympathy so I said alright i’ll see if I can help.
I googled ITV sign up to Jeremy Kyle, got the number and gave it to him. It was some random name to ask for so I told him to ask for Sarah or Jeremy, told him that I’d explained his situation to them and that they were gonna help sort him out and give him his options.
It confirmed it to me that it was total bullshit when he didn’t ring for at least a week. When he did I got a nasty call telling me to duck off and what did I think I was doing. I kept really serious and said “I think Jeremy is the only person who can help someone like you at this stage” it gave me a good laugh after.
The ‘gf’ conveniently ‘fell down the stairs and lost the baby’ within a few days.
My brother was a bit mean to me this morning.
He's goes on and off about being on a diet, but was previously running every day before he got sick so he's already in an okay shape.
I bought a fresh packet of donuts and cinnamon rolls and left them on a table where I know he will see them.
He's goes on and off about being on a diet, but was previously running every day before he got sick so he's already in an okay shape.
I bought a fresh packet of donuts and cinnamon rolls and left them on a table where I know he will see them.
I wish you were my sister, I promise to be mean to you every day, if that means I will get donuts.
My thinking is, we all have to die one day, and I would rather die with a slice of pizza or donut in my mouth rather than a piece of lettuce.
When I’m bored I sign my exes phone number up to a load of callbacks, the Jehovah witness ones are great as you can schedule a call from them at 8am on a Sunday x
Gutted that I’ve deleted all my ex boyfriends phone numbers now as I’d love to do this to a couple
Same,wish I’d known this a few years agoGutted that I’ve deleted all my ex boyfriends phone numbers now as I’d love to do this to a couple
This is bloody genius.Next time MIL pisses me off, she'll be a getting a call
One of my sisters can be really mean and we still have petty squabbles even though we are adults. She made some comment about my weight so a few weeks later I encouraged her to get a buzz cut she wanted by saying it would really suit her.
It didn’t.
It didn’t.
One of my old managers was a right micromanaging hole. I used to smoke and it was one of her bugbears, she’d watch on the security cameras for folk going out out with official breaks for a fag. So I started wearing my coat to go to the toilet. I work 13 hour shifts. That’s a lot of toilet breaks. Took her about a week to crack and ask me why I was wearing my coat to go to the toilet. Whipped out a sanitary towel and said oh it’s where I kept my pads. Her face was a picture.
An ex bf had a really spoilt and obnoxious kid who was a little liar as well so I poured bleach onto his Venus flytrap plant. I was 50 at the time.....
I live right outside a primary school and there are markings on the floor outside the school stating not to park there during school hours for obvious reasons but you can between the hours of 6pm and 8am. So I used to just park there as I usually got home from work after 6 and left before 8 the next morning so never had an issue for three years.
However, one night it had snowed badly, so obviously I didn’t move the car from outside the school because it wasn’t safe and didnt really think it was an issue because I knew the school wouldn’t open in those conditions.
Two days later, the school is still closed but as the weather had improved I decided to move my car. As soon as I opened the door three dinner ladies came running out of the school and started shouting at me about “the harm I could do to children” and “the danger I was putting them in” by my actions. I was so bemused I just shook my head and drove away.
Anyway long story short, I now make a point of waiting every so often until 8:01 to drive to work and give the dinner ladies a little wave before I go
However, one night it had snowed badly, so obviously I didn’t move the car from outside the school because it wasn’t safe and didnt really think it was an issue because I knew the school wouldn’t open in those conditions.
Two days later, the school is still closed but as the weather had improved I decided to move my car. As soon as I opened the door three dinner ladies came running out of the school and started shouting at me about “the harm I could do to children” and “the danger I was putting them in” by my actions. I was so bemused I just shook my head and drove away.
Anyway long story short, I now make a point of waiting every so often until 8:01 to drive to work and give the dinner ladies a little wave before I go
My ex lived on a military base and had been difficult during a nasty break up. I had let him use my car during our relationship and he had taken it into the base where he thought I couldn't get it and tried to blackmail me with it.
Luckily for me, a guy I liked had a friend on the same military base who I gave the spare key to, and said man located it on the base, drove it out past armed security and passed it over to me.
I drove it home and took a picture of it inside a locked compound, with me and my things.
Luckily for me, a guy I liked had a friend on the same military base who I gave the spare key to, and said man located it on the base, drove it out past armed security and passed it over to me.
I drove it home and took a picture of it inside a locked compound, with me and my things.
Ahem… I might have done this
.I suppose it could be classed as petty but suffice to say when I was a child my father was very abusive and I’ve only been able to talk about what happened in the last year. My biggest regret is not coming forward earlier and telling people what had gone on.
One Christmas Day a few years after my parents had divorced I was driven over to spend a few hours with him. He was his usual unpleasant self. By this point he was in a relationship with an equally odious woman, who did her best to make me feel so unwelcome. There had been some cock up with the delivery of new sofas,
which hadn’t arrived in time for Christmas. Quite why my father hadn’t put a hold on the old ones being taken away until the new one had definitely arrived I don’t know. He was having my grandparents over for dinner. I wasn’t invited but that suited me given I resented having to spend time with him and them anyway.
To make up for the fact there were no sofas my father had bought inflatable plastic sofas. He and his odious girlfriend had both made unnecessary remarks towards me and had generally been spiteful during the time I was there. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted some drawing pins!
So while they were out of the room I used the pins to pierce holes in every inflatable sofa!!Somehow I got away with it but I was told that it had caused problems while my grandparents had been over and had led to a big argument between my father and the girlfriend.
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as soon as you said inflatable sofas this was where I was hoping this story would go!Ahem… I might have done this
I suppose it could be classed as petty but suffice to say when I was a child my father was very abusive and I’ve only been able to talk about what happened in the last year. My biggest regret is not coming forward earlier and telling people what had gone on.
One Christmas Day a few years after my parents had divorced I was driven over to spend a few hours with him. He was his usual unpleasant self. By this point he was in a relationship with an equally odious woman, who did her best to make me feel so unwelcome. There had been some cock up with the delivery of new sofas,
which hadn’t arrived in time for Christmas. Quite why my father hadn’t put a hold on the old ones being taken away until the new one had definitely arrived I don’t know. He was having my grandparents over for dinner. I wasn’t invited but that suited me given I resented having to spend time with him and them anyway.
To make up for the fact there were no sofas my father had bought inflatable plastic sofas. He and his odious girlfriend had both made unnecessary remarks towards me and had generally been spiteful during the time I was there. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted some drawing pins!
Somehow I got away with it but I was told that it had caused problems while my grandparents had been over and had led to a big argument between my father and the girlfriend.
I know it’s not the point of the story, but the thought of four grown adults sitting down for christmas dinner on inflatable sofas is absolutely hilarious. It’s giving peep show vibesAhem… I might have done this
I suppose it could be classed as petty but suffice to say when I was a child my father was very abusive and I’ve only been able to talk about what happened in the last year. My biggest regret is not coming forward earlier and telling people what had gone on.
One Christmas Day a few years after my parents had divorced I was driven over to spend a few hours with him. He was his usual unpleasant self. By this point he was in a relationship with an equally odious woman, who did her best to make me feel so unwelcome. There had been some cock up with the delivery of new sofas,
which hadn’t arrived in time for Christmas. Quite why my father hadn’t put a hold on the old ones being taken away until the new one had definitely arrived I don’t know. He was having my grandparents over for dinner. I wasn’t invited but that suited me given I resented having to spend time with him and them anyway.
To make up for the fact there were no sofas my father had bought inflatable plastic sofas. He and his odious girlfriend had both made unnecessary remarks towards me and had generally been spiteful during the time I was there. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted some drawing pins!
Somehow I got away with it but I was told that it had caused problems while my grandparents had been over and had led to a big argument between my father and the girlfriend.
I think you were clever, your ex was the one being petty
We had a phantom shitter in the office too, I never knew it was an actual thing until nowSeems to be more common than you would hope. We had a similar 'Poogate' saga at my office too. Poo smeared all over the toilet cubicle on more than one occasion. Emails were sent, pleading signs were put up, to no effect. It was so grim, after about the 4th or 5th time they called a whole-office meeting (with the clearly upset female cleaners present) to plead with whoever it was to stop doing it. It did stop after that though, thankfully.. We always suspected it was the male cleaner who had had previous non poo-related allegations brought against him.
. The culprit was never found, but who ever it was had a tit in the lift and wiped tit on the wall. Grim, just grim.We had a phantom wanker too - someone’s ‘pleasurable tones’ could be heard every day from a cubicle in the bloke’s bogs. A lynch mob was pulled together and the phantom wanker was identified. He claimed he was in his rights to do it! Weird but funny as duck
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