it is gross and scabby but I don’t care. Obviously if it was an actual friend I would but not for an obligation invite that I have to attend. I’ve already been to their day and congratulated them to their face.How grim, are they not friends of yours to invite you to their wedding? Imagine being so gross on purpose to not even provide a card giving friends well wishes
Hahaha I know.it is gross and scabby but I don’t care. Obviously if it was an actual friend I would but not for an obligation invite that I have to attend. I’ve already been to their day and congratulated them to their face.
side note: of the 2 threads, I love how this is where you draw the line
Yes! I totally agree with you. I recently attended a wedding and between the hen do, gifts, hair, hotel etc I added up I nearly spent £1000… I haven’t had a holiday for over four years. I would like to take my son on his first holiday abroad soon. They wrote a little poem in their invites basically asking for cash instead of presents. I just think it’s really vulgar to ask for money imo. They spent £25k on the wedding… and why not keep a little and pay for the honeymoon themselves?When I got married I told everyone I didn’t want any gifts money etc as attending was costing enough with outfits, hotel, travel etc but people were SO generous. My husband thinks it’s because we made a fuss about not wanting anything that people were more inclined to give. I absolutely detest the little poems in invites or a list of gifts.
Also just to add I think some people forget there’s a cost of living crisis going onYes! I totally agree with you. I recently attended a wedding and between the hen do, gifts, hair, hotel etc I added up I nearly spent £1000… I haven’t had a holiday for over four years. I would like to take my son on his first holiday abroad soon. They wrote a little poem in their invites basically asking for cash instead of presents. I just think it’s really vulgar to ask for money imo. They spent £25k on the wedding… and why not keep a little and pay for the honeymoon themselves?
they deserve it cause I fucking hate weddingsHahaha I know.
I think it was just because most times you do something Petty to someone is because they deserve it - not because they invited you to their wedding
A taxi driver said to me one time that he sees a wedding invitation in the same way as he sees an invoice or a bill of any sort, dropping through the letter box. Not really welcome. It's true, I guess.Yes! I totally agree with you. I recently attended a wedding and between the hen do, gifts, hair, hotel etc I added up I nearly spent £1000… I haven’t had a holiday for over four years. I would like to take my son on his first holiday abroad soon. They wrote a little poem in their invites basically asking for cash instead of presents. I just think it’s really vulgar to ask for money imo. They spent £25k on the wedding… and why not keep a little and pay for the honeymoon themselves?
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Also just to add I think some people forget there’s a cost of living crisis going on
I always give money too unless they have a tacky poem requesting money which I’ll then give a presentA taxi driver said to me one time that he sees a wedding invitation in the same way as he sees an invoice or a bill of any sort, dropping through the letter box. Not really welcome. It's true, I guess.
I have never received a money or gift request with an invitation, thankfully. I always give money and a card.
That’s mad, I was married a few months angk and our guests were really generous . We are Irish so money is the norm, we didn’t receive any gifts other than frames etc along side money from family.Years ago I was dragged to a wedding. The invite said no gifts just money please. The parents , when asked, suggested £25 a person. This is 20 years ago do quite a lot. Never got a thankyou or acknowledgement. They gloated that they didn’t have to pay for a holiday for a few years as they had hundreds of guest, never spoke to me again.
2nd wedding- I was the only person not allowed a plus one. Learnt my lesson with previous wedding so didn’t give money/gift/card. Made sure I was on a fair few photos to peeve the groom who had made it clear he didn’t like me. Never seen them since the wedding
Hate weddings
I think it's absolutely fine to ask for money rather than presents. I don't see the point of getting people random stuff they don't need and wouldn't choose themselves while contributing to the honeymoon for example makes sense. But it shouldn't be an expectation to always give something or to give a certain amount, especially when some people expect you're basically to give what they're paying to have you at the wedding which could even be like 100pp.Yes! I totally agree with you. I recently attended a wedding and between the hen do, gifts, hair, hotel etc I added up I nearly spent £1000… I haven’t had a holiday for over four years. I would like to take my son on his first holiday abroad soon. They wrote a little poem in their invites basically asking for cash instead of presents. I just think it’s really vulgar to ask for money imo. They spent £25k on the wedding… and why not keep a little and pay for the honeymoon themselves?
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Also just to add I think some people forget there’s a cost of living crisis going on
A friend of mine is South African but lived most of her life in Ireland having moved in her early 20s. Her sister did too but later moved to the UK. When my friend's nephew got married the wedding was mainly Irish and UK guests. My friend said before they even read the card that they could tell whether the guest was from Ireland or the UK just by the amount of money in the card. With the Irish always being more generous. She said some UK guest put coins in the card.That’s mad, I was married a few months angk and our guests were really generous . We are Irish so money is the norm, we didn’t receive any gifts other than frames etc along side money from family.
However, we have ordered (was waiting for photos back) wildflower seed thank you cards , and photos of the guests to enclose with them to show our appreciation. Immediately after the wedding we text each guest to thank them.
The same way I couldn’t imagine not providing a gift or card, I couldn’t imagine not thanking my guests. Terrible behaviour.
Coins???? Stop that!!!!A friend of mine is South African but lived most of her life in Ireland having moved in her early 20s. Her sister did too but later moved to the UK. When my friend's nephew got married the wedding was mainly Irish and UK guests. My friend said before they even read the card that they could tell whether the guest was from Ireland or the UK just by the amount of money in the card. With the Irish always being more generous. She said some UK guest put coins in the card.
We were so lucky a few family members and family friends gave us £500-£1000, we had some guests give is £10-£50 and that was appreciated just as much. We were really overwhelmed opening our cards. I’d also love to say we saved the money or spent it wisely but instead we used it as spending on our honeymoon and made the best memories drinking the best cocktailsA friend of mine is South African but lived most of her life in Ireland having moved in her early 20s. Her sister did too but later moved to the UK. When my friend's nephew got married the wedding was mainly Irish and UK guests. My friend said before they even read the card that they could tell whether the guest was from Ireland or the UK just by the amount of money in the card. With the Irish always being more generous. She said some UK guest put coins in the card.
Ya I feel bad giving her example as I know not everyone is like that. I'm Irish and my closest friend got married a few years ago. I was her chief bridesmaid. She paid for everything for us and even paid for a night in the hotel the night of the wedding. Between the physical gift and cash I gave her just under 500 euro. I think the going rate for regular guests is at least 200 euro where you have a plus one.Coins???? Stop that!!!!we got between 100 and 250 from each guest, but out of the English invited we got nothing, and 50-100 from those who were part Irish or lived there.
It’s not petty, it’s just rude in my opinion. Maybe I’m just brought up differently from you but even a card to say congratulations on getting married would be given even if I didn’t have money. Do you not want to say congratulations to them? It’s not a flex saying what you have put. Shows lack of class and decorum especially if you were invited to celebrate with them.I suppose this counts as petty - it I go to a wedding I won’t get them a card or a gift/money. My friend once offered to put my name on her card and I said no. I do not care to fund a decision you have made. you want a wedding, you pay for it
I agree. It's not mandatory to attend weddings, they could always say no if they don't want to congratulate the coupleIt’s not petty, it’s just rude in my opinion. Maybe I’m just brought up differently from you but even a card to say congratulations on getting married would be given even if I didn’t have money. Do you not want to say congratulations to them? It’s not a flex saying what you have put. Shows lack of class and decorum especially if you were invited to celebrate with them.
Maybe it’s just me but I think that’s cunty rather than petty.Right, which one of you is this
Not sure why you’re so offended by it that you’re willing to be insulting but honestly, I’ll take being rude and having no decorum or class on this one. No i don’t want to say congratulations because 9/10 I haven’t seen them in years and didn’t even know they were in a relationship until I got the wedding invite. Obviously if it was a close family member or friend then I would make an effort but a cousin who I haven’t seen in 10 years who has invited me to the evening party out of obligation. No, not wasting my money on it. I’ll say congratulations to their face if i attend, even though they won’t notice or care whether I’m there or not. I am one of 19 cousins. Some of whom are on their second or third marriages. Yes I could send a card but truthfully I don’t care enough to and it’s not like they will notice or care anyway.It’s not petty, it’s just rude in my opinion. Maybe I’m just brought up differently from you but even a card to say congratulations on getting married would be given even if I didn’t have money. Do you not want to say congratulations to them? It’s not a flex saying what you have put. Shows lack of class and decorum especially if you were invited to celebrate with them.
I could say no to the invite but social etiquette dictates you still have to send a card and present to say congratulations cause you haven’t attendedI agree. It's not mandatory to attend weddings, they could always say no if they don't want to congratulate the couple
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