What have you done today #7

[ClockworkDolly]

Oh haven’t been online in a bit.

How are you all hope you’re doing well x

I have decided to stop drinking for the next while as I was finding myself becoming far too reliant on it and even caught myself drinking throughout the day and have copped on that I need better ways to deal with my anxiety. I might even quit it for good as I don’t like the person I am whilst drinking. I can become nasty and all of my thoughts come out at once and because I do be drunk I can’t process them so I tend to attack people or hurt their feelings. I am definitely not an alcoholic but with the route I was taking and my family’s background with addiction, I could have ended up one. So that’s been my life for nearly a week. I just needed to let out some steam.

Well done for recognising your dependency and dealing with it. Good luck to you.

Anxiety is not easy to live with, I still have it in varying degrees, despite appearing confident around people. But anxiety is one of those things which is not easy to quantify, as if affects people in so many different ways.

It is very easy for society to place every anxious person into one box and labelling them.

I wish you a lovely weekend.

Been sat on a video call with my bank since 9.30am. I am DESPERATE for a wee. The advisor has picked his nose 3 times as well must have forgot I can see him too!! Most boring Saturday morning post ever

Boring? No quite funny actually.

OMG!! OMG!!

The best thing ever happened today. I am in shock. Absolute shock.
My husband works in from work at 4.55 at 5pm his phone rang. The council offering us a new property. Totally out of the blue, we've never bid on this house. It's like fate. We can't get a look inside yet as the council are working on it but we took a walk around (it's minutes from where we are now) and guys it's beautiful I have fallen in love. It's my forever home.
Seperate dining room, upstairs bathroom. Both of which we don't have here. This house is lovely but it's small and in 10 yrs time I'm going to have a 15,16 and 17yr old inhabiting the place

And the garden is HUGE.

I'm so happy right now.
I want to show you a pic of the house but not sure if i can

Lovely news for you and I hope you’ll be happy in your new home.

After a horrible OCD filled morning at work I typed out (and deleted) my thoughts about something over lunch and had a huge light bulb moment. The short version is... no matter what I do, I will always be the black sheep of the family, and I've internalised their constant, never-ending negativity and their tear downs to the point where, rather than try and risk possibly succeeding, I deliberately fail because I have so little self confidence in myself that I 'know' I'll inevitably fail anyway as I've been told my whole life what a failure I am and, every time I try and bring up something positive, I'm constantly reminded about past failures. Even about things that aren't that bad in the scheme of things, such as 'only' getting a 2.1 in uni instead of a first. Or if I mention that I've eaten an apple I'll get told for several minutes about how fat I am and how I'll always be fat even if I've eaten an apple.

It's like I spend my life deliberately jumping out of planes without a parachute because there's a chance that, if I wore a parachute, it might not open, so I might as well jump without, because then I'm choosing to fail instead of getting my hopes up.

I'm rambling, but I feel like I might have just turned a corner in understanding why I am how I am and I think that might be the first step towards changing it. I love this thread (and all you on it of course).


* I'd like to point out that I know there are millions of people in this country (and probably on this thread) who wish they had my family instead of theirs, so I probably sound like a whiny witch. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.

That makes for sad reading. I am sorry your family have treated you this way, your whole life. Trying to please others’ and get their approval is exhausting, both mentally and physically.

I really hope that you can find your own path and do what pleases you from now onwards.

 

[petitspois]

I met some friends last night and enjoyed but found myself a bit annoyed when I got in and couldn’t quite work out why for a while then I realised I was envious. They both earn very little in low paid part time jobs but have husbands that have very good jobs. This means they both have large detached houses that are going through renovations with all the bifold jazz etc.

I’m not proud of this but am being honest that I felt a bit ‘hard done by’ as I’ll never have that despite having ‘a good job’ as there’s only one income coming in. I felt like that for about an hour then got a grip of myself and realised I was being a complete f-ing cow and needed to get some perspective again.

I’m sharing this as I always think it’s important to reflect on your own shortcomings.

@AlanBanan Well done on stopping drinking. I’m nearly 10 weeks in now and feel much better and more in control. I’ve realised I need something to mark the end of work/parenting which used to be a cold peroni but is now a glass of tonic. It’s also often a twix but I’m working on that. I like that 'days since' app.

No plans for today other than pottering around. It looks lush out but is really windy. Happy weekend xx

 

[calmyourritas]

Hi guys didn’t check in yesterday because I felt so ill I pretty much got home from work and went straight to bed

I’m making the most of the weekend by not leaving the house lol. Cuddled up on the sofa with the cat, a packet of ginger biscuits (thanks for the recommendation @watermelon sugar) and catching up on a weeks worth of Classic Corrie!

Hope you’re all well xxx

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I met some friends last night and enjoyed but found myself a bit annoyed when I got in and couldn’t quite work out why for a while then I realised I was envious. They both earn very little in low paid part time jobs but have husbands that have very good jobs. This means they both have large detached houses that are going through renovations with all the bifold jazz etc.

I’m not proud of this but am being honest that I felt a bit ‘hard done by’ as I’ll never have that despite having ‘a good job’ as there’s only one income coming in. I felt like that for about an hour then got a grip of myself and realised I was being a complete f-ing cow and needed to get some perspective again.

I’m sharing this as I always think it’s important to reflect on your own shortcomings.

@AlanBanan Well done on stopping drinking. I’m nearly 10 weeks in now and feel much better and more in control. I’ve realised I need something to mark the end of work/parenting which used to be a cold peroni but is now a glass of tonic. It’s also often a twix but I’m working on that. I like that 'days since' app.

No plans for today other than pottering around. It looks lush out but is really windy. Happy weekend xx

But, are your friends really happy and content? Just because they have the trappings of perceived wealth, they may not be happy. They may have to make huge compromises in order to have that. Of course, many people look at though they have everything, but I bet if you were to delve deeper, you would find a few things which may rock the image they are trying to portray.

I wish you a lovely weekend and well done on stopping the drinking.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Hi guys didn’t check in yesterday because I felt so ill I pretty much got home from work and went straight to bed

I’m making the most of the weekend by not leaving the house lol. Cuddled up on the sofa with the cat, a packet of ginger biscuits (thanks for the recommendation @watermelon sugar) and catching up on a weeks worth of Classic Corrie!

Hope you’re all well xxx

You're welcome! Ginger biscuits saved me when I was nauseous all the time! Xxx

 

[LittleMy]

Hey everyone. Hope you’re all doing okay. Nothing much to report on here; was so tired last night that OH and I didn’t even watch anything on TV once kids went to bed. Ended up going to bed and sleeping through which I regret because I have work tonight and will likely not get any sleep in today meaning I will suffer for it later.

ETA: I ate ginger biscuits when I had morning sickness too. That and plain toast were the only things that helped and I felt worse the hungrier I was.

 

[petitspois]

But, are your friends really happy and content? Just because they have the trappings of perceived wealth, they may not be happy. They may have to make huge compromises in order to have that. Of course, many people look at though they have everything, but I bet if you were to delve deeper, you would find a few things which may rock the image they are trying to portray.

I wish you a lovely weekend and well done on stopping the drinking.

I agree. I want them to be happy tho- it was all me being a twit tbh but at least I knew I was- if you know what I mean!

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I agree. I want them to be happy tho- it was all me being a twit tbh but at least I knew I was- if you know what I mean!

I understand. But don’t beat yourself up about what they have and compare yourself with other people. Life really is too short to go down that road and you just end up making yourself miserable.

 

[Meangirl815]

Who remembers my wild school drop off yesterday? Hunting high and low for antihistamines for my 6yr old. Well we've woken up this morning and said child is ill. As in slept 12hrs woke up at 9 and now at 1.30pm she's had 2 naps, no food, has a bad cough and whilst sitting next to her sister who was eating jelly beans announced i can't smell them

She's already tested positive back in dec. LFT test negative but as she has symptoms not sure how reliable that actually is. However also very confused as if she could test positive a second time???

Urgh. This is like an eternal never ending circle of hell

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

@Meangirl815 oh god what a nightmare. I hope she is negative and it’s just a bad cold from the shift in seasons.
@petitspois
I think we are all guilty of this no matter what you have. For me social media is the worst but then I remember there’s always something behind the scenes. And I think you can be happy for someone but still envious so don’t beat yourself up.

how is it the afternoon already! I got up early and I have achieved nothing not even the fact my hair needs washing. Actually scrap that I remembered to order a new nectar card
I’m quite achy from carrying all that shopping so I guess I’ll just have to have another massage..

face still looks like a flakey swamp monster but has stopped itching so hopefully the cream is doing something. Never thought I’d be pleased for masks..
I’m sat in the garden so may treat myself to a Prosecco or 2. I weighed myself and I have exactly a stone to lose so time to up my exercise.
have a beaut Saturday y’all xx

 

[Renegadedancer]

Hope u lovelies are enjoying the weekend . I have the most exciting news ...I’ve got my washing machine back . I have done 6 loads already. On a sadder note the skip went yesterday, I was still trying to cram stuff in before it was taken from me . My kitchen is finally finished after nearly 6 weeks, so I need to make an excuse as to why a takeaway is a good idea tonight .

 

[bolimepipi]

Who remembers my wild school drop off yesterday? Hunting high and low for antihistamines for my 6yr old. Well we've woken up this morning and said child is ill. As in slept 12hrs woke up at 9 and now at 1.30pm she's had 2 naps, no food, has a bad cough and whilst sitting next to her sister who was eating jelly beans announced i can't smell them

She's already tested positive back in dec. LFT test negative but as she has symptoms not sure how reliable that actually is. However also very confused as if she could test positive a second time???

Urgh. This is like an eternal never ending circle of hell

i'm so sorry, that sucks i hope it's just an annoying cold and it goes away soon!

I met some friends last night and enjoyed but found myself a bit annoyed when I got in and couldn’t quite work out why for a while then I realised I was envious. They both earn very little in low paid part time jobs but have husbands that have very good jobs. This means they both have large detached houses that are going through renovations with all the bifold jazz etc.

I’m not proud of this but am being honest that I felt a bit ‘hard done by’ as I’ll never have that despite having ‘a good job’ as there’s only one income coming in. I felt like that for about an hour then got a grip of myself and realised I was being a complete f-ing cow and needed to get some perspective again.

I’m sharing this as I always think it’s important to reflect on your own shortcomings.

@AlanBanan Well done on stopping drinking. I’m nearly 10 weeks in now and feel much better and more in control. I’ve realised I need something to mark the end of work/parenting which used to be a cold peroni but is now a glass of tonic. It’s also often a twix but I’m working on that. I like that 'days since' app.

No plans for today other than pottering around. It looks lush out but is really windy. Happy weekend xx

you were not being a ''cow''! in my opinion it's perfectly normal to feel that way. at least i do sometimes!

Hope u lovelies are enjoying the weekend . I have the most exciting news ...I’ve got my washing machine back . I have done 6 loads already. On a sadder note the skip went yesterday, I was still trying to cram stuff in before it was taken from me . My kitchen is finally finished after nearly 6 weeks, so I need to make an excuse as to why a takeaway is a good idea tonight .

i'm honestly so excited for you and your washing machine

 

[jarv]

@AlanBanan as cliché as it sounds, acknowledging and understanding these things are a good chunk of the battle. Anxiety is a real bastard and I hope you can find a way of managing it that works for your overall health

@Meangirl815 i really hope your daughter just has something else, I think she'd be exceptionally unlucky to contract it twice in such a short time

@Renegadedancer thats fab news about your kitchen although RIP Skip

Been up since half 7, went to hairdressers and had a trim and a little long fringe putting in then my bf met me after for coffee and shared a cinnamon bun. Then we walked the hour over to the industrial estate with all the car shops on and looked at about 15 corsas 🥱 then by the time we were walking the hour back home it was coming up to 1. I started feeling a bit funny on the way home, think it's just lots of walking around on little fuel but I'm not hungry at all. Weird. Just lying down now, meant to be cleaning but I have zero energy so it'll have to wait until tomorrow. Getting some takeaway later on and binge watch some telly.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day

 

[watermelon sugar]

Oh haven’t been online in a bit.

How are you all hope you’re doing well x

I have decided to stop drinking for the next while as I was finding myself becoming far too reliant on it and even caught myself drinking throughout the day and have copped on that I need better ways to deal with my anxiety. I might even quit it for good as I don’t like the person I am whilst drinking. I can become nasty and all of my thoughts come out at once and because I do be drunk I can’t process them so I tend to attack people or hurt their feelings. I am definitely not an alcoholic but with the route I was taking and my family’s background with addiction, I could have ended up one. So that’s been my life for nearly a week. I just needed to let out some steam.

Not MD are you just kiddin x

 

[nbt]

Hello ma beauts!

We’ve had a nice day today considering I was in a right mood for an argument last night

Spent a lazy morning in bed, of course. Got up, had breakfast and then got ready to go for a bike ride. I borrowed one of OH’s zip ups and came down and did a couple of poses.

Him: what are you doing?
Me: posing
Him: oh, I thought you’d hurt your neck.

Would never make it as a model, clearly

Then I was trying on another jacket, the boy comes up and says “you look good” he’s so cute, he ought to give his dad a few tips!

Off we went on a bike ride, we did 10.1 miles so I’m happy with that. Was really nice to get out. We stopped off at a new cafe on the way home for a drink and cake outside there are also some wind turbines close to us and I wanted to get right next to them for a pic, so we went off the track and I walked up to one. Boy wouldn’t come because he was scared, little poppet lol. Anyway, it stopped rotating and OH was like, “it’s because there’s a camera and they can probably see you” is that even a thing?! Can you get in trouble for standing next to one? I honestly don’t know so then boy was like, “let’s go before the police come” and as I was walking away it started rotating again but made a whirring sound as it started and boy said it was an alarm haha, anyway all wind turbine knowledge gratefully received

Ooh also, I finished my book last night and it’s now my new favourite book. And I shared it on Insta, tagging the author and she replied and we sent a few messages back and forth and now I’m proper fan girling

Erm, think that’s all I’ve got to tell you. Gonna make a spag bol this evening and watch aaaall the telly.

Hope you all enjoy your nights!

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

Hello ma beauts!

We’ve had a nice day today considering I was in a right mood for an argument last night

Spent a lazy morning in bed, of course. Got up, had breakfast and then got ready to go for a bike ride. I borrowed one of OH’s zip ups and came down and did a couple of poses.

Him: what are you doing?
Me: posing
Him: oh, I thought you’d hurt your neck.

Would never make it as a model, clearly

Then I was trying on another jacket, the boy comes up and says “you look good” he’s so cute, he ought to give his dad a few tips!

Off we went on a bike ride, we did 10.1 miles so I’m happy with that. Was really nice to get out. We stopped off at a new cafe on the way home for a drink and cake outside there are also some wind turbines close to us and I wanted to get right next to them for a pic, so we went off the track and I walked up to one. Boy wouldn’t come because he was scared, little poppet lol. Anyway, it stopped rotating and OH was like, “it’s because there’s a camera and they can probably see you” is that even a thing?! Can you get in trouble for standing next to one? I honestly don’t know so then boy was like, “let’s go before the police come” and as I was walking away it started rotating again but made a whirring sound as it started and boy said it was an alarm haha, anyway all wind turbine knowledge gratefully received

Ooh also, I finished my book last night and it’s now my new favourite book. And I shared it on Insta, tagging the author and she replied and we sent a few messages back and forth and now I’m proper fan girling

Erm, think that’s all I’ve got to tell you. Gonna make a spag bol this evening and watch aaaall the telly.

Hope you all enjoy your nights!

I had this with an author I had loved for years. So nice when they do things like that!
Sounds like a banging day!

 

[AnderbeauJohnson]

Not much to update today - felt dreadful (just a bad cold I think, doesn't seem like anything more serious) and, apart from a brief five minutes where I tried to sit at my desk, I've been lying in bed since this morning. Phoned my mum and my nana first thing so that I could have a nap - managed more than four hours until the landlord came to fix some stuff. Not complaining though, at least this landlord actually bothers to fix things rather than just take the rent money and ignore everyone!

Watched the start of LOD season one last night - it looks like it'll be very interesting but my head was swimming and I think I'll need to be in a more focussed mood to appreciate it properly.

Hope everyone's Saturday is going well.

 

[Boredofthegram]

Hey everyone. Lovely sunny day here
I fell asleep by 9:30 last night which is unheard of for me so woke feeling refreshed. Went over to mums for lunch and enjoyed a pimms in her garden whilst son road around on his bike like a maniac singing at the top of his lungs. Caught up with my brother and his partner who also came over to chill in the garden with us which was lovely. Headed home then went straight out for a walk to the fields and woodland near ours for an hour. Just got back and nothing else planned today aside dinner, telly or reading.

Happy saturday

 

[under the ivy]

Hola mi amigos

What a lovely sunny day! It is here anyway. Been in the garden for a bit, planted some plants. Spoke to my neighbour who is looking to cut a tree down in our garden - I told her to sod off in so many words. She doesn’t like the buds/leaves falling in her garden, so I was like well I can’t stop nature can I, buy a sweeping brush. I don’t engage brain before mouth sometimes lol.

She annoyed me so I’ve had 80s tunes on all day. Just washed my hair and straightening it now for morning. Got a driving lesson tomorrow, excited for it. I’m doing roundabouts

Hope everyone is OK x

 

[Nolongerjustalurker]

Hi everyone,

my barre instructor has started doing outdoor classes so I went this morning! It was soooo nice to see her in person but omg I’m basically dead now. No lying on the floor out of the view of the camera when I don’t feel like doing a plank
Went to get a maccies breakfast afterwards and brought one home my bf who somehow got super drunk last night despite drinking the same as me, so a mcmuffin was just what he needed..

Then this afternoon we did some pottering in the garden, he built my new mini greenhouse for all the seedlings and I did some planting. a nice easy oven tea for dinner and then we are going to watch some more Lost - nearly on season 5 now and it’s defo getting weird...