Aww they are lovely!!!just back from my walk to visit the geese babies and here they are today.
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Back later with my riveting day update
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hahaha this reminded me... i was talking to my mom on the phone earlier and she's at work. someone walked in there and she told me to wait a second and then went: WHAT DOES IT SAY ON THE DOOR? DOES IT SAY CLINIC?? NO?? SO CAN I MAKE YOU AN APPOINTMENT?? NO HA??, and then came back to the phone and said: 'yes honey sorry continue', that's how i imagine you switching between the office visitors and tattle
but sorry you're having a tit day!! hopefully the little geese baby photo by @Boredofthegram cheered you up! they are so cute!
@OutrageouslyScarlet poor helios
i hope it's nothing and he recovers quickly 
@Boredofthegram omg 
@jarv ah jaysus. You get yourself a treat tonight. Im getting Mc Nuggets tomorrow
Im only awake since 1. Off work still until I get transferred. Off due to anxiety and stress in the area I work in.
Im getting soppy with Scotland.
Have a good day gang. Remember youre all awesome
@jarv ah jaysus. You get yourself a treat tonight. Im getting Mc Nuggets tomorrow
Im only awake since 1. Off work still until I get transferred. Off due to anxiety and stress in the area I work in.
Im getting soppy with Scotland.
Have a good day gang. Remember youre all awesome
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Omg your mum sounds so funny @bolimepipi that's the energy I need today!
@OutrageouslyScarlet i totally missed that about Helios, poor thing - I really hope he is okay
x
@PepsiCherry I am trying not to stress eat but it's hard I resisted a choc orange brownie in the canteen just now though, well chuffed with myself! Considering a large gin and tonic when I get home though 
and your chap is a right cutie I love reading your messages sorry if that's weird
that's the energy I need today!@OutrageouslyScarlet i totally missed that about Helios, poor thing - I really hope he is okay
x@PepsiCherry I am trying not to stress eat but it's hard
I resisted a choc orange brownie in the canteen just now though, well chuffed with myself! Considering a large gin and tonic when I get home though and your chap is a right cutie I love reading your messages sorry if that's weird 
Well so far today Ive been for a 2km walk, hoovered and polished now Im about to make some lunch then I will mop the floors and I might make some more flapjacks later.
It's beautiful outside so I decided to go for a walk on my lunch break, wish I hadn't have bothered as I've been tit on Bloody seagulls
Bloody seagulls
New pic who dis... 
Hey gang!
Thought I’d pop in for a little update.
@bolimepipi your mum sounds very funny! That made me laugh I think @jarv could do with your mum’s help today to tell a few people to do one!
@Meangirl815 i hope your MIL will be okay. I am with you on the water intake today - constantly weeing!!
@OutrageouslyScarlet i hope Helios will be okay
@Boredofthegram living for pictures of these cuties
@PepsiCherry these moments are so exciting, keep the updates coming
@coconochanel flapjack
God it’s hard work tagging everyone
This morning after the school run I spent an hour procrastinating... updating my pic (heyyyy), dropping by the Tattlers Transformation thread (getting my arse in gear) and generally wasting time.
Since then though, I’ve hoovered the house, dusted the living room, washed and dried some towels, colour coordinated the boys t-shirt drawer
ironed and put away the kids clothes, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen and had some dinner.
Just having a cuppa and then I’m going to put mine and OH’s ironed clothes away and tidy/dust the bedroom before the school run.
I’ve also had Marcella S3 on in the background and no clue whatsoever about what’s going on
Hey gang!
Thought I’d pop in for a little update.
@bolimepipi your mum sounds very funny! That made me laugh
I think @jarv could do with your mum’s help today to tell a few people to do one!@Meangirl815 i hope your MIL will be okay. I am with you on the water intake today - constantly weeing!!
@OutrageouslyScarlet i hope Helios will be okay
@Boredofthegram living for pictures of these cuties
@PepsiCherry these moments are so exciting, keep the updates coming
@coconochanel flapjack
God it’s hard work tagging everyone
This morning after the school run I spent an hour procrastinating... updating my pic (heyyyy), dropping by the Tattlers Transformation thread (getting my arse in gear) and generally wasting time.
Since then though, I’ve hoovered the house, dusted the living room, washed and dried some towels, colour coordinated the boys t-shirt drawer
ironed and put away the kids clothes, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen and had some dinner.Just having a cuppa and then I’m going to put mine and OH’s ironed clothes away and tidy/dust the bedroom before the school run.
I’ve also had Marcella S3 on in the background and no clue whatsoever about what’s going on
Doing my research interview soon 
I’m so anxious!!! I’ve been practicing all morning ( and spent my time on here lol) and I’m shaking. I know once I’ve done my first one, I’ll know what to expect. Argh!!
hope you’re all having good days x
I’m so anxious!!! I’ve been practicing all morning ( and spent my time on here lol) and I’m shaking. I know once I’ve done my first one, I’ll know what to expect. Argh!!hope you’re all having good days x
Best of luck!Doing my research interview soon
hope you’re all having good days x
The date of our date and little text screenshots 
After a horrible OCD filled morning at work I typed out (and deleted) my thoughts about something over lunch and had a huge light bulb moment. The short version is... no matter what I do, I will always be the black sheep of the family, and I've internalised their constant, never-ending negativity and their tear downs to the point where, rather than try and risk possibly succeeding, I deliberately fail because I have so little self confidence in myself that I 'know' I'll inevitably fail anyway as I've been told my whole life what a failure I am and, every time I try and bring up something positive, I'm constantly reminded about past failures. Even about things that aren't that bad in the scheme of things, such as 'only' getting a 2.1 in uni instead of a first. Or if I mention that I've eaten an apple I'll get told for several minutes about how fat I am and how I'll always be fat even if I've eaten an apple.
It's like I spend my life deliberately jumping out of planes without a parachute because there's a chance that, if I wore a parachute, it might not open, so I might as well jump without, because then I'm choosing to fail instead of getting my hopes up.
I'm rambling, but I feel like I might have just turned a corner in understanding why I am how I am and I think that might be the first step towards changing it. I love this thread (and all you on it of course).
* I'd like to point out that I know there are millions of people in this country (and probably on this thread) who wish they had my family instead of theirs, so I probably sound like a whiny witch. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.
It's like I spend my life deliberately jumping out of planes without a parachute because there's a chance that, if I wore a parachute, it might not open, so I might as well jump without, because then I'm choosing to fail instead of getting my hopes up.
I'm rambling, but I feel like I might have just turned a corner in understanding why I am how I am and I think that might be the first step towards changing it. I love this thread (and all you on it of course).
* I'd like to point out that I know there are millions of people in this country (and probably on this thread) who wish they had my family instead of theirs, so I probably sound like a whiny witch. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone.
Whine all you want
we're all here to listen xNever let anyone make you think you’re not good enough. I’m pleased you’ve had an understanding of things now though and are ready to move on. We are all here for you!
I don't think you'll have upset anyone and I certainly don't think you're a whiney witch!
Anybody who is putting you down is probably doing so because of their own insecurities. It says far more about them as a person, that they could say those things to you, than it does about you. Do not let somebody elses negativity make you feel like you're not good enough. We're always here to listen if you need a rant. x
good luck!Doing my research interview soon
hope you’re all having good days x
hey, sometimes just writing about it can make you feel better, or make you understand something as you said
that's what this thread is for so whine away! i don't think anyone minds, sending you hugs 
I completely agree with you. Building those walls you talked about before will do you no end of good. You need to focus on just you now, it's your life. That sounds like something someone with 'live, life, love' on their wall would say but, you know what I mean!
You’re not whiny at all @AnderbeauJohnson, rant away all you want on here 
Did my interview... why was I nervous it went so well. so that’s my first bit of data for my PhD woohoo! I’m debating ordering a Five Guys tonight as a treat after reading the food chains thread 
Going to chill for the rest of the day now, after I’ve taken Amber for a walk
Did my interview... why was I nervous
it went so well. so that’s my first bit of data for my PhD woohoo! I’m debating ordering a Five Guys tonight as a treat after reading the food chains thread Going to chill for the rest of the day now, after I’ve taken Amber for a walk
Glad it went well @under the ivy i knew it would! 
@AnderbeauJohnson it sounds like lately you've made some really useful observations about your own thoughts and behaviours and sometimes that really half the battle in making positive life changes and you know this thread is always open if you need to talk! We love to listen!
@Meangirl815 sorry in my rage earlier I totally missed your post and what you said about MIL. That must be so hard for all of you, I really hope that she is okay and that it isn't cancer
@AnderbeauJohnson it sounds like lately you've made some really useful observations about your own thoughts and behaviours and sometimes that really half the battle in making positive life changes
and you know this thread is always open if you need to talk! We love to listen! @Meangirl815 sorry in my rage earlier I totally missed your post and what you said about MIL. That must be so hard for all of you, I really hope that she is okay and that it isn't cancer
Thanks so much guys.
I'm feeling really confused all afternoon and I have no idea what to think anymore. On the one hand my parents have helped me out of some very tough binds, especially financially and I'd have been homeless without them a few years ago. I do believe that they love me and I feel awful for even thinking about criticising them after they've raised and looked after me but some things aren't sitting right. I've been remembering bits and pieces all afternoon, how I'd often hear "I love you but I don't like you" from my mum as a kid and how I wrote a report on 'what you want to be' when I was in year one that ended with 'because then my dad will like me.'
I don't want to be too tough on them because they've gone through horrible things in life (way worse than me) but I feel like I'm such an embarrassment to them - they said (when I was an adult) that they refused to let me be tested for autism as a child because they didn't want the neighbours to think they possibly had an autistic child. When my GP at 14 said that I urgently needed therapy/anti-depressants I was forbidden from having either. As an adult I've been told multiple times that if I ever go to therapy they'll 'never speak to me again', even if I promised not to talk about them. Even now I'm not 'allowed' to be out of the closet to my grandmother, not because her homophobia would upset me, but because my parents say they 'don't want to be gossiped about' by the broader family as having raised a gay daughter.
I grew up in a tiny village and I've always thought of their behaviour as normal but now I'm wondering if it isn't. I don't even know where I'm going with this train of thought, everything feels like it's been thrown up in the air. I guess I'll just have to take each day as it comes and try and keep a bit more distant while I figure things out.
I'm feeling really confused all afternoon and I have no idea what to think anymore. On the one hand my parents have helped me out of some very tough binds, especially financially and I'd have been homeless without them a few years ago. I do believe that they love me and I feel awful for even thinking about criticising them after they've raised and looked after me but some things aren't sitting right. I've been remembering bits and pieces all afternoon, how I'd often hear "I love you but I don't like you" from my mum as a kid and how I wrote a report on 'what you want to be' when I was in year one that ended with 'because then my dad will like me.'
I don't want to be too tough on them because they've gone through horrible things in life (way worse than me) but I feel like I'm such an embarrassment to them - they said (when I was an adult) that they refused to let me be tested for autism as a child because they didn't want the neighbours to think they possibly had an autistic child. When my GP at 14 said that I urgently needed therapy/anti-depressants I was forbidden from having either. As an adult I've been told multiple times that if I ever go to therapy they'll 'never speak to me again', even if I promised not to talk about them. Even now I'm not 'allowed' to be out of the closet to my grandmother, not because her homophobia would upset me, but because my parents say they 'don't want to be gossiped about' by the broader family as having raised a gay daughter.
I grew up in a tiny village and I've always thought of their behaviour as normal but now I'm wondering if it isn't. I don't even know where I'm going with this train of thought, everything feels like it's been thrown up in the air. I guess I'll just have to take each day as it comes and try and keep a bit more distant while I figure things out.
Great day for a huge walk here in Dublin 
I live at the coast. This park & our local beach 5 mins from me.
I live at the coast. This park & our local beach 5 mins from me.
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