What do you want to rant about today? #10

[taleoftittletat]

I have no advice because if my husband spoke to me this way I'd tell him to duck off and that's not the well rounded, reasonable advice I think I should give but I would feel exactly the same as you. I would then probably resort to only doing things for me and the kids (& dog) and doing nothing for him, but I'm petty like that x

Funnily enough that is the route I went down this morning . I told him to duck off and that I’d immediately stop doing everything that I do directly for him and see how he gets on. When he said ‘well you cook for everyone’ I said don’t worry I’ll make sure your portion goes in the bin .
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Are you me?
I would also add in there who the duck do you think you're speaking to, make your own bleeping lunch, I'm not your mother.
Petty AF too and he wouldn't have clean clothes or a cooked meal until he at least apologised!

I forgot to add reminding him he’s a grown man capable of seeing to his own lunch was in there too

 

[WeHadFunRight]

My husband has decided to unleash on me this morning because I haven’t been making pack ups for his lunch. This has escalated into me doing ‘nothing’ for him, ‘don’t women show their love by looking after their man’ and caring about everyone else over him.

I’m annoyed because this man never has to put a wash load on, doesn’t make dinner, washes the pots maybe once a week but that’s as far as his household tasks go. We have 3 children that I would say I’m the primary carer for and a dog. I’m absolutely sick to my back teeth of his only point being that he works all week. SO DO I. It’s worth bearing it mind that his job doesn’t entail having to factor in childcare drop offs/pick ups or just generally where the kids will be. He just gets up and goes to work but wants a gold medal for that.

He does a manual job but then when he’s home clocks off, how lovely that must be. There are times granted where if I need him to run to the shop etc he will just go he’s not bone idle but this packed lunch shite gets on my nerves. In the back of my mind I’m thinking I should just do it if it’s so important to him but at the same time I really don’t think my worth or how much I care should be down to packed lunch.

Maybe I’m wrong, but his shouting at me at 7am has thoroughly fucked me off.

Tell him to grow up. My brother was making his own lunch at 12; there’s no stopping him wielding a butter knife and two pieces of bread ffs.

 

[Melian]

The thermostat in my hotel room is broke and there's no air conditioning. It's 26 degrees in there! I'm in Manchester and it's not *that* cold here.

 

[Rxt156]

God I hate these men that have outdated views on women and their ‘role’ in the household.

Women used to do all the jobs coz they didn’t work.

Women cannot do all the jobs in current times AS WELL AS work and raise a family and other things hobbies/have pets/socialise

My FIL does zilch around the house. I feel bad for MIL but also she has put up with up since she was 20 so if you haven’t made him lift a finger for the last 50 years he isn’t going to do it now

 

[jojida]

God I hate these men that have outdated views on women and their ‘role’ in the household.

Women used to do all the jobs coz they didn’t work.

Women cannot do all the jobs in current times AS WELL AS work and raise a family and other things hobbies/have pets/socialise

My FIL does zilch around the house. I feel bad for MIL but also she has put up with up since she was 20 so if you haven’t made him lift a finger for the last 50 years he isn’t going to do it now

My MIL/FIL are the same. FIL has the better job of the two (but MIL has always worked too, used to work 40 hrs a week before having some health problems but still does 20 hrs a week now) so expects his wife to cook, clean and run around after him. Will complain like hell if the hoovering isn't done or the dinner is late but won't think to start it himself, even on weekends. Drives me mad, can't imagine how she feels!

 

[taleoftittletat]

He’s sent me a message to apologise and he recognises how much I do. Says he’s stressed at work with deadlines and hates going everyday. Just say that then, instead of behaving like a cave man!

 

[Mamacita]

My MIL/FIL are the same. FIL has the better job of the two (but MIL has always worked too, used to work 40 hrs a week before having some health problems but still does 20 hrs a week now) so expects his wife to cook, clean and run around after him. Will complain like hell if the hoovering isn't done or the dinner is late but won't think to start it himself, even on weekends. Drives me mad, can't imagine how she feels!

I think unfortunately, while men should just do it, women allow it so there's no incentive for those men to change. That's how it always was with women in my family- quietly complaining but would never actually ask the men to pick up the slack

 

[FenellaTheWitch]

I remember reading ages ago that the only thing feminism achieved was that women now have to do all the housework and go to work. I still think that's partly true.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

My husband has decided to unleash on me this morning because I haven’t been making pack ups for his lunch. This has escalated into me doing ‘nothing’ for him, ‘don’t women show their love by looking after their man’ and caring about everyone else over him.

I’m annoyed because this man never has to put a wash load on, doesn’t make dinner, washes the pots maybe once a week but that’s as far as his household tasks go. We have 3 children that I would say I’m the primary carer for and a dog. I’m absolutely sick to my back teeth of his only point being that he works all week. SO DO I. It’s worth bearing it mind that his job doesn’t entail having to factor in childcare drop offs/pick ups or just generally where the kids will be. He just gets up and goes to work but wants a gold medal for that.

He does a manual job but then when he’s home clocks off, how lovely that must be. There are times granted where if I need him to run to the shop etc he will just go he’s not bone idle but this packed lunch shite gets on my nerves. In the back of my mind I’m thinking I should just do it if it’s so important to him but at the same time I really don’t think my worth or how much I care should be down to packed lunch.

Maybe I’m wrong, but his shouting at me at 7am has thoroughly fucked me off.

I know the reasonable and assertive thing is to ask him why and what and how to find out why he's so upset and then come to a solution.
Whereas in reality the urge to turn into a screaming banshee in response would be quite tempting.
Which is why I suppose my boss walked out on her husband and children for a fortnight and only her boss knew where she was but wasn't allowed to say. We all thought she was on holiday.
Shouldn't have to get to that level, though where men don't value things women do.

 

[Ensay]

Delivery men. I was expecting a parcel today from Royal Mail. Saw the van pull up, so I was expecting a knock at the door. Several minutes passed and I realised the van had gone.

He'd just left it on the doorstep outside. I'm glad he didn't take it away, but how hard is it to knock the door/ring the doorbell before getting back in your van? Amazon always do. Rant over.

 

[Reality_tv_lover]

Let's face it, if there was no such thing as school, and had to have them full time until like 13 (when they're old enough to have a little independence)hardly anyone would have kids.

I'm with you, I love my kids but 2 under 5 home full time for 6 weeks is hard. I need some time to myself and some time to get one with stuff without yelling kids. The bad weather has made it harder too.

I also have 2 under 5
We are both working, no money and no car and it's been horrible
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I remember reading ages ago that the only thing feminism achieved was that women now have to do all the housework and go to work. I still think that's partly true.

What's that quote that goes around
We expect women to work like they don't have children and raise children as if they don't work

 

[Ensay]

I think unfortunately, while men should just do it, women allow it so there's no incentive for those men to change. That's how it always was with women in my family- quietly complaining but would never actually ask the men to pick up the slack

Agreed. Worse still the generation before that would often defend the men in their lives from any criticism.

I always remember a tale a friend told me that, when her mum met her future in laws for the first time (think this would have been in the 1970s) she made a passing remark about their son being a bit lazy around his flat and his mum went into a rant at her. Instead of saying "yeah he should do more", she basically said "why do you want to marry my son if you're going to complain about him?"

I was shocked, but women of that generation were basically raised to serve men and they didn't like any criticism towards their husband, sons, etc. You still see it today, though it's not quite as bad as it was.

 

[peachesandcreamz]

My rent has just gone up and my take home pay has just gone down (because of taxable benefits like bloody dental insurance which is the ONLY OPTION BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET AN NHS DENTIST!!!).

When can I win the lottery

 

[know1seep]

Family! I am the youngest of a large family ( 6 children))
Few of the siblings have children. I currently do not.
First of all, I can't remember the last time anyone in my family checked in on me and asked me something about me or my life. It's all about them and their kids.
My mother would be the last to notice if I went missing or dropped off the earth as she never so much as sends me a text or whatsapp. If i didnt call her she wouldn't ring me from one end of the year to the next. And when I do call, it's just to talk about ' insert sibling here'
Like why have children if you're not going to show ANY interest in them?

I dunno, I suppose I'm just in need of a rant at the minute.
Does anyone else have families that genuinely don't give a tit about them? Feeling deflated

 

[Ingognito.Queen]

My Monday rant is travellers. Our estate is over run with them in the summer and they are absolutely vile. They steal from the local shops, literally crap in full view of people on the side of the roads and are intimidating

Wow - do they really do this?!!!!

Vile

 

[Avenged7Fold]

Family! I am the youngest of a large family ( 6 children))
Few of the siblings have children. I currently do not.
First of all, I can't remember the last time anyone in my family checked in on me and asked me something about me or my life. It's all about them and their kids.
My mother would be the last to notice if I went missing or dropped off the earth as she never so much as sends me a text or whatsapp. If i didnt call her she wouldn't ring me from one end of the year to the next. And when I do call, it's just to talk about ' insert sibling here'
Like why have children if you're not going to show ANY interest in them?

I dunno, I suppose I'm just in need of a rant at the minute.
Does anyone else have families that genuinely don't give a tit about them? Feeling deflated

Yes. My Dad never calls me. He’s elderly, but he calls his friends, goes on holiday and out walking with his friends. When I call it’s all about him and my brothers tribe of children and grandchildren. He hardly ever asks about my family. I’ve been having some health problems and I’m due to have a 24 hour heart monitor fitted next week. I haven’t told him because he’ll derail to how many tablets he takes etc etc.
I’ve unfollowed all my brothers kids on FB because I’m sick of seeing them. They invited my daughter and her husband on a big family holiday, but not me and my husband and son. I think it’s because we are a bit different from them and they think we are weird
They are always inviting my ex husband to go see them, but I don’t get so much as a happy birthday. I think they have done the same to my brothers wife’s family because I don’t see them on wedding or christening photos. They are happy living in their little cult bubble. Once my Dad has passes away I don’t think I’ll ever see any of them again.

 

[InkHeart]

When one person in the friend group mysteriously doesn't like you, and everyone except you is at their birthday party right now

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

Breaking a very short run of a diet with a massive, chippy tea.

 

[Hastaggifted]

When one person in the friend group mysteriously doesn't like you, and everyone except you is at their birthday party right now

Arseholes.

I have had a group of mum friends from my sons school since they started in year R, they are just now going into year 6. One of the boys was relentlessly bullying mine. I sent a message to his mum and nicely told her what was happening. I'm now the bad guy, she hasn't spoken to me in over a year now. Ignores me on the school run, I now ignore her too. I've got no time for it. They all ignore my messages on the group chat and have seen them out together pictured at the pub and days out which we would usually all do as a group. duck em. I left the group chat and out of the group of 6, only 2 reached out the rest can duck off. Not about that pathetic childish life. Teach your kid not to be a little prick.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Arseholes.

I have had a group of mum friends from my sons school since they started in year R, they are just now going into year 6. One of the boys was relentlessly bullying mine. I sent a message to his mum and nicely told her what was happening. I'm now the bad guy, she hasn't spoken to me in over a year now. Ignores me on the school run, I now ignore her too. I've got no time for it. They all ignore my messages on the group chat and have seen them out together pictured at the pub and days out which we would usually all do as a group. duck em. I left the group chat and out of the group of 6, only 2 reached out the rest can duck off. Not about that pathetic childish life. Teach your kid not to be a little prick.

I was watching something psychological recently and they said that kind of behaviour is a sign of emotional immaturity. I also remember them saying that between the ages of 3 and 4 children exhibit narcissistic behaviour - it's all about them.
It was fascinating. Wish I'd had time to sit down and listen to it.
ETA we have some psychologists on Tattle who unbeknown to them have changed my life, just because they got fed up with us not understanding their point about a celebrity or whatever (well we're not all psychologists ), and they let slip some jargon which was quite illuminating when I looked it up.
Wish they would speak more about situations like yours as it is interesting to hear an expert revealing the psychology behind everyday interactions.