I mean she barely posts on youtube anywya does she? I think she needs to do something as a career that revolves less around social media tbh, it just seems to give her anxietyJust watched Venetia's latest YouTube video... in it, she says she will be leaving YouTube in the not too distant future to basically protect her privacy. I will miss watching her videos but it does seem like it would be best for her mental health. I also wonder if it's because she's pregnant or planning to get pregnant as I cannot imagine her ever putting her child on social media - it probably coincides with a big life shift? She also definitely seems a lot less fun loving than she was in the old days, I hope she gets her spark back soon
Oh my goodness, I wouldn't have recognised her here. Can't help but think that the baggy clothes are her attempt to hide it, tooView attachment 1557192
She looks so gaunt it’s worrying
I like her, it’d be hard not to I think. But I just watched her latest video and the way she said “fertility privilege” as a new privilege she hadn’t heard & basically must embrace asap irked me. Probably moreso because I listened to the podcast. I very genuinely think that infertility is one of the hardest things anyone can face. I understand that Elizabeth Day feels highly emotional about her own struggles. But it annoyed me when she said that she wants parents to acknowledge that they wouldn’t be without their children when having a moan. The truth is that some people regret having children & some people realise that they aren’t cut out for the responsibilities of parenthood, some people have financial & mental health issues or just plain can’t cope. I dislike the constant talk of “privilege” because it shuts down conversations. Does the poverty striken 16 year old in the council flat who gets knocked up also suffer from “fertility privilege”.On her instagram she said she was going on BBC Radio 4 show You and Yours - I have also been on this show and did not get paid.
How does she pay her bills???
I agree, being born lucky you can have children isn't the same as being born lucky you are rich/white/ in a rich country.. I think the term "privilege" will start to lose its meaning if we are not careful. Soon it will end up with absolutely everything being considered a privilege, moving away from the real sense of itI like her, it’d be hard not to I think. But I just watched her latest video and the way she said “fertility privilege” as a new privilege she hadn’t heard & basically must embrace asap irked me. Probably moreso because I listened to the podcast. I very genuinely think that infertility is one of the hardest things anyone can face. I understand that Elizabeth Day feels highly emotional about her own struggles. But it annoyed me when she said that she wants parents to acknowledge that they wouldn’t be without their children when having a moan. The truth is that some people regret having children & some people realise that they aren’t cut out for the responsibilities of parenthood, some people have financial & mental health issues or just plain can’t cope. I dislike the constant talk of “privilege” because it shuts down conversations. Does the poverty striken 16 year old in the council flat who gets knocked up also suffer from “fertility privilege”.
I also find the people that won’t shut up about privilege are often the most privileged of all. Venitia’s greatest privilege isn’t her whiteness, it’s the fact that she’s bloody rich. She can afford to do a fun job chatting about her passions & hobbies - reading, cooking etc, and clearly someone is keeping a roof over her head while she’s doing it and has done for years.
I do admire her for trying & I do think she genuinely cares about the causes she speaks about. I also hope she is ok.
I do like her but at the end of the day if she wasn’t as financially privileged as she is she wouldn’t be able to do what she does. It’s easier to talk about white privilege than acknowledge that.I agree, being born lucky you can have children isn't the same as being born lucky you are rich/white/ in a rich country.. I think the term "privilege" will start to lose its meaning if we are not careful. Soon it will end up with absolutely everything being considered a privilege, moving away from the real sense of it
I agree, it is impossible to talk about anything positive and then say "... priviledge" I would love to have children and don't, and I do find it awful seeing people on social media with their children etc, but at a certain point you do have to accept that you need to be able to live in society and feel difficult emotions.... just my opinion though. There are times when I look at some things on social medial with "trigger warnings" and just wonder how people cope tbhI do like her but at the end of the day if she wasn’t as financially privileged as she is she wouldn’t be able to do what she does. It’s easier to talk about white privilege than acknowledge that.
Elizabeth Day I’m a bit hmmm about. I want to cut her some slack as she’s had such a hard time on her fertility journey. She comes across a bit entitled or something. I agree with a lot of what she says eg I think scan pictures must feel like a punch in the gut, and I think baby showers are unnecessary. One thing she said I didn’t agree with that parents talking about parenting being hard has gone too far. I think “gin o clock” is a bit silly but I think Elizabeth is viewing things from the perspective of her own grief - parenting is hard and people should be able to talk about it without having to constantly declare they are lucky to be parents. That said, I defiantly wouldn’t have a moan about parenting to a friend struggling with infertility, that would be inappropriate & grossly insensitive. Elizabeth didn’t feel the need to acknowledge that the conversation she & her friend were having was about a middle class experience.
Anyways sorry for the aside!
I’m so so sorry, my heart goes out to you.I agree, it is impossible to talk about anything positive and then say "... priviledge" I would love to have children and don't, and I do find it awful seeing people on social media with their children etc, but at a certain point you do have to accept that you need to be able to live in society and feel difficult emotions.... just my opinion though. There are times when I look at some things on social medial with "trigger warnings" and just wonder how people cope tbh
Sorry mods for going a bit OT
I agree I think a lot of the problem is language. The way V said that she hasn’t heard of “fertility privilege” before. I’d say she has heard or could think of the points raised before but just not the label. A lot of the points seem perfectly valid, but I don’t know if the label helps in any way. It was a conversation between two middle class white women who have a middle class experience of parenting & infertility. I follow Jody Day/Gateway Women and for whatever reason I find her so much more engaging, she also uses some labels like “pro natalism.” Elizabeth Day seems like a women who is understandably caught up in grief and anger. I’m not sure I’d recommend it as listen for anyone struggling.So totally agree with the points raised earlier. Tacking on the term "privilege" to everything just shuts down the conversation and excuses everything. It's kind of the same with the term "problematic." It's so overused by the people who use it that it doesn't really mean anything. I saw that one of Venetia's besties is pregnant (Lottie Murphy) - I wonder if all her friends getting pregnant (she has mentioned that in a couple of YT videos) has sparkled a lot of her thoughts around fertility.
So sorry you are feeling that way! Definitely take a break, it's not healthy for most people to look at- let alone those struggling with a disorder. I hope taking a break makes you feel betterFinding myself not wanting to look at Venetia's stories anymore, which is a shame because I enjoy the fashion sustainability content
But each time I see her she appears thinner. It's highly triggering to me. I'm feeling myself getting jealous she seems to be losing weight so frequently - which is a huge red flag for my own disorder.
Hope anyone else feeling the same looking at her stories is doing okay
I feel the same sometimes, I want to unfollow her cause I get so triggered and feel like she body checks a lot. I can’t believe how thin she is right now- what is going on?! Anyways, I’ll stay getting triggered for now because it confronts me with my own issues, and I do enjoy her sustainability messageFinding myself not wanting to look at Venetia's stories anymore, which is a shame because I enjoy the fashion sustainability content
But each time I see her she appears thinner. It's highly triggering to me. I'm feeling myself getting jealous she seems to be losing weight so frequently - which is a huge red flag for my own disorder.
Hope anyone else feeling the same looking at her stories is doing okay
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