“You speak good English” is one example because it implies that the person wasn’t born in this country (or indeed any English speaking country) or that you expect them to speak English badly because of the colour of their skin, their surname, where they were born.
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Mmmm yeah actually I’m gonna bow out of this convo before I get the lantern treatment
Uo long hair doesn’t look good on everyone and can make you look untidy
this, like i can understand being on a thread casually or watching them casually but some of these people are constantly on threads about tik tokers they hate - like block them if you are sick of their voice
depp wives are annoying as duck, so is the nickname "turd" grow up please
the way people on this website make fun of kids or judge others parenting it crazy - you'd think we're on mumsnet
stranger things is so annoying omg
Last edited:
I feel like this one doesn’t really count if the persons first language isn’t actually English tbf. It’s a skill to learn a new language and no one will be perfect so imo it’s just a compliment from a native speaker. Obviously it’s different if the person was born in an english speaking country!
I dislike Elphaba, you know the gal who sings the same song over and over, but also she’s very much a comfort TikToker for me even if her behaviour tends to annoy me 🫢
Though at least she tends to be at least a bit entertaining when she’s not singing. There’s that one guy who clearly has some very misogynistic opinions and tries to groom teenagers and all he seems to do is dance in his bathroom and I just don’t get the appeal with that
I think they were speaking of it being something you've said to someone just because they appear foreign, without it actually being known whether English was their first language.
yeah lol she annoys me as well. And are you talking about paul - who won't let his dad take a tit in his own bathroom
Everytime that George Ezra green green grass song plays I feel triggered because of that bleeping Paul
This is the only thread where people moan they are bored, you adhere to the title and then it’s handbags at dawn and a desire to return to the many conversational thrills of fig rolls and breastfeedingMmmm yeah actually I’m gonna bow out of this convo before I get the lantern treatment
Uo long hair doesn’t look good on everyone and can make you look untidy
Calling something exotic too. I think there was a thread on this sort of stuff on Tattle at one point and that was discussed
As a white person I didn’t really get the issue fully because I equated it with being unique - which in itself is a weird thing because the underlying implication is that it’s different. The counter point to that is of course that sometimes being different is beautiful but that has other complexities when applied to race.
I remember I met someone and they said my name was “exotic” and that they liked it. It was a weird thing to say, especially as it occurred after someone mentioned that I wasn’t British. I fully understand that she didn’t mean anything bad by it but the implication is still very much there and in the subconscious. She also very likely wouldn’t have said it to a British person with the same name - and I say that because my name is fairly basic and I know my neighbours daughter in law has the very same name. Really she could have just said I have a beautiful or nice name
that song played at work the other day I couldn't stop laughing. I tried to explain it to a co-worker but sometimes I think its best to just leave it - doing them a favour
Yeah an Asian friend of mine has had it several times. She was born here so she speaks with an English accent, yet she's still had people compliment her on her English.
Another one is people asking her where she's from. When she says the town she lives in, they'll often say "yeah but originally". When she says she's always lived there, they'll say "OK where are your parents from then?" etc. Some see it as idle curiosity, but it's a not-so-subtle way of saying "you must be from somewhere else as only white people are really from here".
Do you think that our experiences are somewhat less and we should suck it up because ‘it’s worse in other countries’ ?
Yes, exactly. If I was speaking to an Asian person I had just met and came out with ‘your English is really good!’ that would be seen as a micro agression because I don’t know if English is their first language? I don’t know where they were born? I know nothing about them to randomly make that assumption other than the colour of their skin.
Now if someone I was closer with had been telling me they had been studying English for x amount of years, giving them a compliment I think would be fine. I remember when I was at Uni and I met someone who said they had been studying English for 6 months intensively and I was shocked because they sounded like they had been speaking it as a second language all their life. I blurted out ‘wow, your English is so good!’ and they got quite emotional because they were so stressed with learning and for a native speaker to compliment them meant a lot.
…. So that makes it ok then?
I think those questions also depend on the relationship with the person. If you’ve just met them, then trying to find out their ethnic heritage like that is just cringey but if you are friends asking them about their heritage can be a really good way to get to know them more.
Or ‘oriental’. A guy said that to my friend on a night out and she said ‘I’m Chinese, not a rug’.
That's people just being thick. You'd have to be a special kind of stupid to do that.Yeah an Asian friend of mine has had it several times. She was born here so she speaks with an English accent, yet she's still had people compliment her on her English.
Yeah agreed, but I think you'd ask different questions if you were interested in their heritage. But that said, I've got Asian colleagues and I've never outright asked them, I've just learnt it through conversations where they've shared more about their life.
It's still classed as a microaggression, though, because it's making a silly assumption based on someone's ethnicity.
I think people get confused by the definition because it has the word "aggression" in, so maybe some assume it's going to be openly aggressive. They aren't, though, they're more subtle ways of treating people differently based on ethnicity.
Another example of obvious racism then, for context, I am mixed race, I consider myself to have light skin. My son, darker then me.
I went into work a while ago and naturally I am darker then in winter months due to how much I love to tan, and somebody walked in and said ‘bleeping hell peaches colour of you, you’re almost as dark as your son’ and everybody laughed. It was embarrassing, rude and made me feel really really uncomfortable.
Had I reported it, or spoke up, I’d have been seen as dramatic, so you suck it up and roll your eyes. These are things that happen daily, but of course it’s not white peoples issues it’s apparently the issue of the black person?
I went into work a while ago and naturally I am darker then in winter months due to how much I love to tan, and somebody walked in and said ‘bleeping hell peaches colour of you, you’re almost as dark as your son’ and everybody laughed. It was embarrassing, rude and made me feel really really uncomfortable.
Had I reported it, or spoke up, I’d have been seen as dramatic, so you suck it up and roll your eyes. These are things that happen daily, but of course it’s not white peoples issues it’s apparently the issue of the black person?
- Status