Unpopular Opinions #25

[HoGi]

Yep I agree with that. This is a general comment that doesn't apply to anyone here, more from my 'real life' experience, but sometimes people have a big downer on the NHS because of a bad experience they had, and then they slate all of the NHS and run it down at every opportunity.

While I fully understand why they may feel that way, it can sometimes be unfair. I've got an uncle who thinks nothing of doing it in front of my sister in law who's a nurse. My SIL keeps quiet, but I know she's been hurt by a few things this relative has said/implied. It's like he sees her as "the enemy" because she works for an organisation whose name is mud in his house.

I sometimes see it on local Facebook groups as well - especially about our local doctors surgery who do a good job IMO - and the ones complaining are the hypochondriacs who clog up the phone lines and don't have much wrong with them, yet seem to get an appointment at least weekly. They can't see they're part of the reason why it's not easy for others to get appointments.

So, like I say, it's not aimed at anyone here - just more me having a rant!

BIB I think a lot of people are tone deaf in general

My aunt who is 86 and generally lovely was really whinging about people who work from home the other day especially people who work in public sector, to me who works from home (3 days a week) in the public sector.

My sister who works from home but private sector tried explaining how the lazy sods will always be lazy sods. But those who work hard, work hard regardless of where they are working and some will do more from home to "prove" they aren't lazy. But she wouldn't have any of it.

ETA she didn't seem to grasp that she knows my character and that I wouldn't waste company time but I am one if the bad guys she hates and thinks is swizzing the public

 

[nicalibres]

While I do agree that it’s good for children to learn about boredom and ways to amuse themselves, some children are absolutely chaotic without structure and cannot “play” on their own. I’ve mentioned it loads (sounding like a broken record now) but my young children are neurodivergent and require a lot of adult support in playing both on their own and in a group. It’s not as easy as just letting them outside to do what they like. Times have also changed, parents are less trusting to just let their children come and go like we used to and there isn’t that same sense of community as there was back in those days.

This is so true. I grew up in the late 90s/00s in a scheme with loads of other kids my age and most of us had family dotted about as well. We were never bored cos there was so many of us and none of our parents bothered that we were roaming about all day because there was a sense of security in being part of a community like that. Not everyone has that, especially now. I’m so grateful for the childhood I had looking back.

 

[ordinaryjelly]

Well why are they complaining then

For attention probably.

 

[FenellaTheWitch]

I also agree though that it doesn’t have to be expensive. We do a lot of park days, trips to the beach when the weather is good, even getting the paddling pool and toys out in the garden - all at little to no expense. We do enjoy cinema days and days out when we can afford it because we don’t always go on holiday so it makes it feel a bit more special.

Once when my daughter was small and had a friend over they were complaining of being bored. I got a bucket of water and two paint brushes and told them to paint the shed. They loved it.

I am an only child and I had a key to the front door at 8. I used to let myself in after school and from about 10 I spent most of the school holidays on my own in the house with the instruction not to open the front door. My mum literally worked around the corner so popped in regularly. My saving grace was the record player. I cannot tell you how many concerts I put on in the late 70's. Then we got video recorders which were a game changer.

It's all very different now.

 

[Catlady1]

I suppose to medical professionals an illness that doesn’t show up on tests and therefore has no treatment as such is not an illness? They can try to treat the symptoms but what else can they do. Set up a whole new laboratory to set up a research programme into that persons individual set of symptoms? Hardly on the state funded nhs. An individual’s opinion of the nhs will be coloured by whether their treatment has worked ,partially worked or not worked at all ? Having said that in my involvement with the nhs I’ve met good nurses/doctors bad ones and just plain meh ones.

 

[thegirlscout]

If you have plastic grass in your garden you deserve to be shot.

 

[Prefrontalmedialcortex]

There is no excuse (the majority of the time as childhood adversity can be a factor) for rude, ill-mannered, lazy children.

It is not the responsibility of childcare practitioners, teachers or society to teach children all of the above or to try and ‘fix’ children.

It should begin from the home environment.

 

[jackolantern]

I suppose to medical professionals an illness that doesn’t show up on tests and therefore has no treatment as such is not an illness? They can try to treat the symptoms but what else can they do. Set up a whole new laboratory to set up a research programme into that persons individual set of symptoms? Hardly on the state funded nhs. An individual’s opinion of the nhs will be coloured by whether their treatment has worked ,partially worked or not worked at all ? Having said that in my involvement with the nhs I’ve met good nurses/doctors bad ones and just plain meh ones.

From my experience with my partner who has an undiagnosed chronic illness, it's not really that where the issue is. He can accept that current science may not be able to find out what is wrong with him and if they were honest about that, then fair enough. But it is the way that doesn't happen and instead, the patients are often made out to be liars who are dramatising things, have hypochondria or it is "all in your head". Many (not all) NHS workers treat people as hassles once they establish there isn't anything they can cut out, or give you a pill for. I cannot tell you how demoralising it is for him to be in constant pain and suffering, with very little life quality, only to add further insult to injury by being made to feel like that. For example, he is unable to gain weight and is constantly told he should be grateful and just "eat a burger".

For me alot of the issue with the NHS is that, an absolute lack of empathy and patient manner. I can fully accept that it is grossly underfunded and staff are overstretched, but I cannot accept treating people with so little care in the most vulnerable times of their lives. That's my issue with the NHS. Everything else e.g. delayed results, lack of appointments etc I totally appreciate isn't the fault of those on the frontline, but the above is.

Again, not all, so if you are an NHS worker who isn't like that, don't take it personally, but in *my* experiences, a good 90% I've ever come across, are.

 

[FenellaTheWitch]

From my experience with my partner who has an undiagnosed chronic illness, it's not really that where the issue is. He can accept that current science may not be able to find out what is wrong with him and if they were honest about that, then fair enough. But it is the way that doesn't happen and instead, the patients are often made out to be liars who are dramatising things, have hypochondria or it is "all in your head". Many (not all) NHS workers treat people as hassles once they establish there isn't anything they can cut out, or give you a pill for. I cannot tell you how demoralising it is for him to be in constant pain and suffering, with very little life quality, only to add further insult to injury by being made to feel like that. For example, he is unable to gain weight and is constantly told he should be grateful and just "eat a burger".

For me alot of the issue with the NHS is that, an absolute lack of empathy and patient manner. I can fully accept that it is grossly underfunded and staff are overstretched, but I cannot accept treating people with so little care in the most vulnerable times of their lives. That's my issue with the NHS. Everything else e.g. delayed results, lack of appointments etc I totally appreciate isn't the fault of those on the frontline, but the above is.

Again, not all, so if you are an NHS worker who isn't like that, don't take it personally, but in *my* experiences, a good 90% I've ever come across, are.

A couple of years ago, my husband was suffering with severe fatigue and generally feeling unwell. He was sent for some blood tests and one came back sky high saying there was some kind of inflammation/infection in his body (can't remember what it's called) He was put on one those two week cancer referral things they do and over the next couple of months had just about every scan, blood test and referral known to man. It was thought it was something like inflammatory bowel disease or an adrenal gland issue. After 12 months he started to feel better and we never did get a diagnosis. The human body is weird thing.

 

[lozzapaloozza]

I came to leave an unpopular opinion but then I saw people further discussing and arguing over their unpopular opinions so now I’m exiting

 

[Ensay]

BIB I think a lot of people are tone deaf in general

My aunt who is 86 and generally lovely was really whinging about people who work from home the other day especially people who work in public sector, to me who works from home (3 days a week) in the public sector.

My sister who works from home but private sector tried explaining how the lazy sods will always be lazy sods. But those who work hard, work hard regardless of where they are working and some will do more from home to "prove" they aren't lazy. But she wouldn't have any of it.

ETA she didn't seem to grasp that she knows my character and that I wouldn't waste company time but I am one if the bad guys she hates and thinks is swizzing the public

Ugh that attitude is really annoying! Like you say, hardworking people will be hardworking regardless of where they work.

In fact, I think I work more from home, because there's no urge to get out the office door to beat the traffic. Yesterday I carried on working till 6pm and suddenly realised the time. It's rare I'd stay in the office till 6pm, as I'd be thinking about the commute home, getting dinner ready etc. At home I'll often put the dinner on and then carry on working till it's ready!

Does she read the Daily Mail by any chance? I've noticed they're very down on people who work from home. Probably because a load of their mates have shares in businesses that rely on office workers, or own office space, etc.

 

[Guitarwarrior]

That may be your ‘opinion’, but it’s medically inaccurate. Hence the language change to be more inclusive, recognising the myriad of people who have periods and women who don’t have periods. I had a hysterectomy a couple of years ago, therefore I don’t bleed. Does that make me not a woman? No. But the inters3x child at my son’s school who does have periods, does that make them a woman? No.
Language changing to be more inclusive does not mean that it excludes others - it’s not pie. You don’t get less of something.

Except removing the word women (or man not that it’s men’s information that’s being changed) from any medical or health related information is very exclusionary.

It has the potential to exclude three very vulnerable groups of people;

Those who can’t speak or read/have very little English and haven’t somebody to translate for them.

Those with little or no literacy skills. There are communities in this country where literacy levels are WAY below the national average.

Those with leaning difficulties or others who are neuro diverse.

These are three example of groups of people for whom language is very important. Removing the word women completely has the potential to put them at risk. If the word woman is removed there are women and girls who might not think something applies to them and end up missing a symptom etc the blue hair brigade might have a huff being othered but tough tit. Woman and others who have periods is the most inclusive. (Or wording to that effect) not simply “people who have periods”

 

[Emmelina Ball]

Except removing the word women (or man not that it’s men’s information that’s being changed) from any medical or health related information is very exclusionary.

It has the potential to exclude three very vulnerable groups of people;

Those who can’t speak or read/have very little English and haven’t somebody to translate for them.

Those with little or no literacy skills. There are communities in this country where literacy levels are WAY below the national average.

Those with leaning difficulties or others who are neuro diverse.

These are three example of groups of people for whom language is very important. Removing the word women completely has the potential to put them at risk. If the word woman is removed there are women and girls who might not think something applies to them and end up missing a symptom etc the blue hair brigade might have a huff being othered but tough tit. Woman and others who have periods is the most inclusive. (Or wording to that effect) not simply “people who have periods”

Exactly this!! Plus even women whose first language is English and they don’t have learning disabilities- many actually don’t know what a cervix is. There has been research done that shows a large percentage of women don’t know what or where their cervix. I’m sure most people would agree it’s better to offend 1% of people who go out of their way to be offended, than it is for a large amount of people potentially miss screening appointments because they don’t realise it applies to them. Enough women already miss them because of various reasons including embarrassment or previous traumas etc so how can anyone morally support that we could reach even fewer people!!!

Here is a small survey for reference:

Almost 50% of women don't know where their cervix is, study finds

The survey, commissioned by INTIMINA and conducted by OnePoll, asked American respondents what the menstrual cycle was in their own words.

metro.co.uk

 

[ProphecyGirl]

Breastfeeding your child over the age of 1

I’m breastfeeding my son atm and won’t be doing it for much longer. I just can’t stand to see babies that age stuck to a boob

Even worse, I’m in a breastfeeding group on Facebook and a woman has just said she still breastfeeds her 5 year old……. No thanks

 

[Emmelina Ball]

Breastfeeding your child over the age of 1

I’m breastfeeding my son atm and won’t be doing it for much longer. I just can’t stand to see babies that age stuck to a boob

Even worse, I’m in a breastfeeding group on Facebook and a woman has just said she still breastfeeds her 5 year old……. No thanks

I don’t think that’s an unpopular opinion to be honest. Women are still asked to leave restaurants for breastfeeding even though it’s illegal to ask them to. It’s only “weird” in the U.K. because it’s so taboo to breastfeed here at all, breasts are only seen as sexual. I don’t get the whole faux outrage about how women feed their babies in general (bottle/breast/tube whatever) its hard keeping a human alive whatever way we do it. Mum shaming is just so normalised, it’s horrible.

 

[VC10]

People rushing into relationships and having kids with each partner they have. I can't imagine what arranging access must be like, kids must not know if they are coming or going.

We know someone like this. 5 boys with 5 different fathers, the eldest two are 14 and 15 & moody about it. When asked they simply said about the latest one.... " why bother to know him. He won't be here next year".

 

[Serene Serena]

Breastfeeding your child over the age of 1

I’m breastfeeding my son atm and won’t be doing it for much longer. I just can’t stand to see babies that age stuck to a boob

Even worse, I’m in a breastfeeding group on Facebook and a woman has just said she still breastfeeds her 5 year old……. No thanks

I just don’t understand extended breastfeeding and I think it’s a form of child abuse over a certain age. A child of 5+ doesn’t need breast milk in addition to their diet, and they need to know how to comfort themselves without mum’s breast.

 

[ProphecyGirl]

I don’t think that’s an unpopular opinion to be honest. Women are still asked to leave restaurants for breastfeeding even though it’s illegal to ask them to. It’s only “weird” in the U.K. because it’s so taboo to breastfeed here at all, breasts are only seen as sexual. I don’t get the whole faux outrage about how women feed their babies in general (bottle/breast/tube whatever) its hard keeping a human alive whatever way we do it. Mum shaming is just so normalised, it’s horrible.

No I don’t , I just wack my boobs out anywhere when my son needs feeding and I’d love for anyone to challenge me on that. I don’t see the whole outrage over bottle or breast. As long as they’re fed, happy and healthy who’s business is it?

I just think it’s odd to breastfeed a 5 year old that’s all

 

[Serene Serena]

No I don’t , I just wack my boobs out anywhere when my son needs feeding and I’d love for anyone to challenge me on that. I don’t see the whole outrage over bottle or breast. As long as they’re fed, happy and healthy who’s business is it?

I just think it’s odd to breastfeed a 5 year old that’s all

I agree. I don’t care about breastfeeding babies anywhere and everywhere, it’s normal and natural. But suckling a primary school aged kid is wrong.

 

[Pinkii]

I don’t think breastfeeding is as taboo as people make it out to be, or maybe i have become desensitised to it?

I had no interest in doing it myself so maybe i didnt notice it, but my friends who did are all happy to whip out their boobs anywhere so I assume they haven’t been mumshamed for this