The person who said “I spent my adult life trying not to get pregnant” is so spot on! We started trying two years ago. Fell pregnant first month and had a missed miscarriage confirmed at almost 11 weeks. Was very pragmatic about it, to the point that the Early Pregnancy Unit sent two different midwives to talk to me because I was “too okay about it”. I wasn’t; I just have been brought up with a maternal line who had multiple losses and who spoke very openly about it.
Spent a year TTC, nothing, referred for fertility treatment and had my MMR (my surgery had no record so I had to get it again) and all blood work done. Husband had his lovely plastic tube! During the wait for an appt.... fell pregnant. Naturally referral was cancelled but three weeks later, I miscarried again. This was during lockdown and I have found the Lockdown Baby Boom particularly hard given the multitude of flippant comments from people “not even trying”.
The positive is I’ve been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, have tested positive for sticky blood and am on daily aspirin, with progesterone should I get pregnant again. Have a lovely consultant and GP which is half the battle I think.
I track things, make sure we have sex at least every other day and that we take our vitamins. My husband’s nice Calvin Klein boxer briefs are in the drawer and he is in baggy old man boxers. We won’t be considered for another fertility referral until January (six month wait because of my age) and it just feels utterly all consuming. Well meaning friends say to relax, when it’s the last thing you can do and which also puts the emphasis on you and it being your fault. It isn’t. We all need to be a lot kinder to ourselves.
Anyway, for now we keep trying and have the horrible two week wait every month, where every twinge and every wave of nausea makes you think “Maybe this time”. I always assumed having the baby was the easy part, it was raising the child that was tough. I had no idea getting - or staying - pregnant would be the battle.
Sending you all love. If anything this has shown we aren’t alone.