TTC / Pregnancy after a loss

[sushimama]

I found out I was pregnant yesterday at 11dpo, taken another test this morning at 12dpo, the test from yesterday evening and this morning don’t seem any different but I know that’s completely fine at this stage

In a way I feel stupid for testing so early - I just wanted to possibly surprise my partner for Father’s Day. And now we’ve been talking about all the ifs and the future and I want to talk about it but can’t help but feel like I don’t want to get excited yet because I know what could happen

It’s horrible to have experienced it before and just wonder constantly if things are normal, with my son I had no symptoms apart from heartburn at 5 or 6 weeks. I’m barely even 4 weeks yet and I’ve spent the last 2 days feeling really sick and have a killer of a headache. I know all pregnancy’s are different but it’s so hard to not worry isn’t it

Congrats on your positive I think it's so normal to be more cautious, I'm 7w3d, saw the heartbeat already and I still don't feel much love or connection to this pregnancy yet. I guess is just a way to keep a little distance if something does go wrong which is pretty sad actually.

Maybe try focusing on one day at a time and one small milestone - first reaching 5 weeks, then 6, then first US etc. So it doesn't seem so daunting. And keep testing if it's gonna make you feel better. I got a lot of comfort from seeing the line eventually get darker.

Do you know the influencer Nadia Anya? She went through multiple losses and IVF and she's now finally 20 weeks pregnant and was just saying on tiktok how only now that she finally has a bump and feels the baby move she can relax a little and start to enjoy it. I think the fear never leaves but it does get better with each week (or so I hope). Good luck!

 

[anything at all]

Even having a healthy pregnancy inbetween my miscarriage and this one still makes it difficult to believe it could happen

I just really don’t want it to be like with my son where I didn’t like to get excited and have zero bump pics. I know we’re a long way off anyway, most don’t know they’re even pregnant at this stage

It’s so weird though as 2 years ago I was pregnant with my son and didn’t even know it yet. They have literally the same due date at this stage (he was moved forward at scans and then came 3 weeks early) hopefully we will have a February baby this time but imagine being lucky enough to not have fertility problems and actually plan in the year when you have your babies!!

if things continue okay I’m going to try book a early scan for 22nd July - when we first saw our son

getting ahead of myself already

 

[Elisha97]

Had an early reassurance scan yesterday at 6weeks 5days. They confirmed the sac, yolk sac and fetal pole but still couldn’t see much. They’re putting me at around 6 weeks instead of closer to 7 weeks. Going in for another scan in two weeks time but so anxious this is going to turn out to be a missed miscarriage.

I’m so sorry to everyone else I haven’t replied to yet as I’m so far behind but I send my love 🩷

I just wanted to jump in for this one. I STRESSED so bad in the pregnancy I have now because the baby measured 5/6 days behind and then 3, but it kept measuring behind (I had loads of scans cos I’ve bled lots). I’ve also had a MMC before so my mind went to the same place as you as I was certain on my dates. I spent 2-3 weeks worrying and literally crying daily .. but it was fine in the end, the baby ‘caught up’ and measured bang on the dates I knew were right. It’s because they’re so tiny they’re hard to measure and the measurements aren’t accurate at this stage. That’s why they don’t do dating scans at all before 9/10 weeks in private places and even then it’s maybe not accurate and is why the NHS do it at 12 onwards. The sonographers and nurses did try and tell me but when you’re in that situation you just think they’re trying to stop you bothering them / panic because they’re not allowed to give too much reassurance

 

[anything at all]

I had this a few weeks ago. I was around 6 weeks. I rang the GP who called me in and he refereed me to EPU. They didn’t seem bothered but the GP stuck for me and got me in but tbh they scanned me and sent me home, said there was nothing they could do for me
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I spent hours looking at positive stories of people who bleed just to try and give myself some hope. I would ring just to let them know and see what they advise xx

I’ve done a lot of the same and just can’t see this ending well. Would only be 4w 5ds, so I feel like they wouldn’t be interested as can’t see anything on a scan anyway

I guess I’ll see how things are Monday and decide if I need to contact anyone but I think it’s all over quicker than it begun. I’m so sad. This was my fear when trying for #2 I can’t believe it actually became reality

 

[anything at all]

I had changed my mind and was going to try the digital test today but now I’m not sure if it’s worth it. Maybe I’ll see if the lines have changed from 2 days ago.
I had some blood mixed in discharge today, potentially old blood as wasn’t bright but I don’t know
I was starting to feel a bit positive about things and now I just feel like shit

I know I don’t know for sure yet but it’s just so shit. It’s unfair anyone has to go through one or even more than one loss, and then there are people out there that never have and wouldn’t understand.
---

Spoiler: Tests

okay I went and did them all because I guess if it’s over already I won’t know for days/weeks yet anyway.
the strips are newest at top, then 48hours ago and then 12hours before that one.

I guess I don’t know what to think, I want to just accept for now I’m pregnant but it feels easier accepting that it’s probably all gonna come crashing down sooner or later

 

[Keera]

I got my HCG results back, it was 450 at 4w4d! It should double every 2 days and I started with 57 4 days ago so I’m really pleased with it. The nurse finally admitted I am indeed pregnant and they scheduled my first ultrasound at 7 weeks already because the doctor’s going on a holiday after so I guess I’m lucky hehe. Ohhh this made me feel soooo much better, yesterday I was so down I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I’m still spotting tho so I’m thinking I should maybe cancel my tennis practice tomorrow and rest? I don’t want to completely stop but maybe just until the spotting stops because it’s really intense and my heart rate goes through the roof. I’m scared to do anything that could make the risk higher. 🥲

That’s excellent news! So pleased for you! hopefully the spotting clears up soon as although lots of women experience it and it’s fine I know it’s such a worry!

 

[Elisha97]

I’ve just found the tiniest speck of brown blood in my pants/ when I wiped. I wouldn’t even have noticed it if I wasn’t wearing white pants. I feel like I’m gonna throw up with anxiety now and no idea what to do. I think I’m around 5w3d’s.

I am the queen of pregnancy bleeding so far (12 and a bit weeks) and I know exactly what you’re feeling. The exact same happened to me and the baby is fine. Brown blood is fine and it’s a tiny amount. At this stage they explained to me the bleeding is old blood from implantation because when the embryo implants into your lining it causes a ‘bruise’ and that’s where the blood comes from. You’re too early for a scan yet and one would only be suggested if you have the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy which you don’t appear to! I would wait until 7 weeks and book a scan then if you think that would reassure you but I honestly wouldn’t worry at all. Easier said than done I know! I had really heavy brown bleeding at 5 weeks which continued for weeks (had other different bleeds later) and they investigated and it was found to be a cyst which is also common. If yours has stopped already I wouldn’t think it concerning at all

 

[Elisha97]

What a relief! Hope you can feel a little more relaxed now.

I hope it’s ok to post here. In nov last year I fell pregnant at 8 weeks I had a natural miscarriage which knocked me for six.
After getting my cycle back I fell pregnant on my second time of trying and I stupidly thought that would some how heal my grief.
it didn’t, it just caused anxiety.
In April We went for an 8 week scan our baby was measuring perfectly but no heartbeat.
This time I decided to take the pills to start my miscarriage.
Unfortunately I was very unlucky and got an infection which unfortunately has been going on for six or so weeks with three different types of antibiotics.
My friends, family and husband have been amazing and work have been brilliant. This has made all the difference.
We have been referred to the recurrent miscarriage unit and the first steps are getting our bloods taken.

So I’ve now had consecutive miscarriages, one natural and one medically induced, plus an infection.

If anyone has any questions about the above or they have found themselves in the same situation and you have question please ask.

I’ve decided that for the next 6 months we won’t be trying. My body is broken and my heart hurts.

Take care everyone xx

Nothing really helpful to say other than that I am so so sorry 🩷

I hope the next few months are as kind to you as possible. I really hope you feel physically better too, the toll a miscarriage alone takes on your body is real but to go through two and your infection must be so difficult.

Lots of love and good luck with the RM clinic. We have been with our local RM clinic too but also found Tommy’s really helpful, I emailed their midwives a lot with random questions or thought processes I had 🩷

 

[MsCunk]

Spoiler: Spoiler: pregnancy tests after a loss

hello ladies. I'm so sorry for all you have all been through. I wish you all well in your future journeys. I don't know if this is the right place to ask, please forgive me if not. My daughter in law will sadly lose her baby at 21 weeks tomorrow (tmfr) as baby won't survive. In case the medical professionals don't tell her, could anyone tell me if she needs to do pregnancy tests still afterwards until HCG is gone & they turn negative? They want to try again asap, bless them thanks for any advice from a very worried Nanny xx

Hello. Just joining this thread and couldn’t read this and not reply. I had a tfmr last year. I am UK based but we got a lot of support and information from the charity ARC (antenatal results and choices) from their telephone support and resources online. They aren’t just for the parents but anyone in the family who need support or more info. I am sure if you contacted them they would be able to give some information and maybe some contacts for the US. There are also some private FB groups that are really helpful. Or on Insta TFMR Mamas is a good starting point. Sending you and your family so much love and hugs.

Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC) – non-directive information and support before, during and after antenatal screening

www.arc-uk.org

 

[lauren96111]

I’ve done a lot of the same and just can’t see this ending well. Would only be 4w 5ds, so I feel like they wouldn’t be interested as can’t see anything on a scan anyway

I guess I’ll see how things are Monday and decide if I need to contact anyone but I think it’s all over quicker than it begun. I’m so sad. This was my fear when trying for #2 I can’t believe it actually became reality

I think it’s a coping mechanism to try and get us through. I knew mine was ending badly but reading positive stories did help albeit giving me false hope.
When I went for my scan they could only see a small dot and I feel that being there was more triggering!
I would see how you feel Monday but my thinking was to let the GP know just so that it is on my notes that I’ve had a loss, just incase.
I am really sorry, people don’t understand the pain until they’ve been through a loss. Try and take it easy over the weekend and I hope you have great support at home xx

 

[anything at all]

Yes I was forever jealous of others being able to enjoy pregnancy and not have to think anything otherwise !

And I got the whole not being able to be excited and if I caught myself getting excited about something I had to stop myself

I hope if we do end up getting pregnant again that it’s a bit different next time, but it is one thing that does make me wonder if we even be trying because I don’t think I could go through 30+ weeks of the same thing again, I was lucky to not have any issues while pregnant but the mental side of it is very hard

 

[anything at all]

I think maybe for my sanity I should hand my remaining tests over to my husband to hide somewhere

I think technically I’m only possibly at most 3 days late now. There really are downsides to finding out early if I look at the first test I took when I was technically late and no others before it I don’t think I would’ve thought anything otherwise !

 

[Elltee]

I'm sorry to hear that. Were you successful quickly the previous time? Hopefully june will be your month

No it took us 2 years x

 

[Clickbait]

I went to A+E but would say I felt like I just wasted their time! The urine pregnancy test they did there came back negative, not sure what sensitivity they used but the one I did at home yesterday was still positive. So maybe it’s just pretty much nearly out of my system now? They did open a referral to the epu who I can contact if I get any more symptoms so at least that’s something if I need it.

I was starting to feel okay but I feel like being told my test was negative has hit me hard.

So sorry Never feel like you’re wasting people’s time with your health.

 

[Clickbait]

I think maybe for my sanity I should hand my remaining tests over to my husband to hide somewhere

I think technically I’m only possibly at most 3 days late now. There really are downsides to finding out early if I look at the first test I took when I was technically late and no others before it I don’t think I would’ve thought anything otherwise !

I do feel for people who decided to do an early test and then discover it was a chemical. They are devastated but I imagine the prevalence of chemicals is quite high and many people just don’t know.

Definitely put the tests down and step away! It’s a case of what will be will be in a sense, testing continuously won’t suddenly give you the answer of whether this will progress or not. The first few weeks are super hard. I had my 12w scan this week and I’m still anxious, just a little less than I was before.

 

[Pixie123]

I’ve just found the tiniest speck of brown blood in my pants/ when I wiped. I wouldn’t even have noticed it if I wasn’t wearing white pants. I feel like I’m gonna throw up with anxiety now and no idea what to do. I think I’m around 5w3d’s.

 

[lauren96111]

Spoiler: Spoiler: pregnancy tests after a loss

hello ladies. I'm so sorry for all you have all been through. I wish you all well in your future journeys. I don't know if this is the right place to ask, please forgive me if not. My daughter in law will sadly lose her baby at 21 weeks tomorrow (tmfr) as baby won't survive. In case the medical professionals don't tell her, could anyone tell me if she needs to do pregnancy tests still afterwards until HCG is gone & they turn negative? They want to try again asap, bless them thanks for any advice from a very worried Nanny xx

I don’t have any advice but thinking of you and your family xx

 

[sushimama]

@Pixie123 @anything at all how are you doing? Been thinking about you both

 

[Elisha97]

thank you x

I don’t think my doctors would be very helpful at this stage, it’s a struggle to just get appointments for other things recently! They’d probably just tell me to be patient I imagine, which really isn’t easy is it.

my partner keeps saying there hasn’t been any reason like bleeding to think it won’t progress but the lines just don’t seem that dark, I had my first absolute squinter on Friday (11dpo) and it was more obvious but still faint Saturday. Id wonder if i implanted late but it just doesn’t seem much progression from Friday?

I had bad cramping last night and fully expected to wake up bleeding

I’ve just had a look for you and slightly adjusted my tests for this cycle as I got a squinter 9 DPO- on day 13, so 4 days after I got a positive like you - my lines looked similar! You implant on slightly different days, I know mine was 7 DPO and you likely implanted on day 9 or 10. I did a digital test to confirm at this point too. My chemical personally faded faster

 

[Clickbait]

thank you for looking x

I have one single digital, one 6 days sooner and around 10 or so strip tests.
I think I’ll try just doing the strip ones til the weekend, I really hope by then I have a better idea of what is going on.

I know I keep telling myself it’s over as it feels better to not get my hopes up too much over it. It really is just a wait and see

I thought it might be helpful to share my experience of the strip tests to try and maybe put your mind at rest a bit. I did a test at 13 dpo as I was going out for a meal and fancied a glass of wine - got no line at all. Period hadn’t started by 17 dpo (although I’d been having irregular cycles so this wasn’t necessarily unusual) and I tested again and got the first line in tests below which you can see is still pretty faint. Progression of the line in the tests below is 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 25 dpo. I really did find testing with the same wee (for me first one in the morning was best as I drink a lot of water) and trying if possible to test every other day was helpful to see the doubling effect.

Spoiler: Test progression

Really hope this works out for you. I totally understand your nervousness, once you’ve had a loss you’re automatically more worried about something going wrong. You just have to remember that the majority of pregnancies lead to a healthy baby.