TTC / Pregnancy after a loss

[Tretps29]

Thank you for the replies 🩷 little update, we managed to get a private scan and the baby is still fine, even gave us a little wave 🩷 I’m sure the worry will be just as bad tomorrow as I’m still spotting blood occasionally (been going on 5 weeks now) but for now I feel slightly better

What a relief! Hope you can feel a little more relaxed now.

I hope it’s ok to post here. In nov last year I fell pregnant at 8 weeks I had a natural miscarriage which knocked me for six.
After getting my cycle back I fell pregnant on my second time of trying and I stupidly thought that would some how heal my grief.
it didn’t, it just caused anxiety.
In April We went for an 8 week scan our baby was measuring perfectly but no heartbeat.
This time I decided to take the pills to start my miscarriage.
Unfortunately I was very unlucky and got an infection which unfortunately has been going on for six or so weeks with three different types of antibiotics.
My friends, family and husband have been amazing and work have been brilliant. This has made all the difference.
We have been referred to the recurrent miscarriage unit and the first steps are getting our bloods taken.

So I’ve now had consecutive miscarriages, one natural and one medically induced, plus an infection.

If anyone has any questions about the above or they have found themselves in the same situation and you have question please ask.

I’ve decided that for the next 6 months we won’t be trying. My body is broken and my heart hurts.

Take care everyone xx

 

[sushimama]

It's terrible how slow the days are moving when you are waiting to get some reassurance right? I hope everything goes smoothly for you and you can continue seeing strong heartbeat. Are your checkups more often now because of the previous experience?

I'm so upset with the way my nurse has been talking to me this past week. I found out I'm pregnant last Wednesday immediately after my MC last month, no period in between. My MC happened while I was traveling so the whole thing was dealt with abroad / private, I only had a checkup at my doctor last Tuesday and that was supposed to be my first pregnancy scan at 10 weeks. When I called my doctor a day after my scan to tell I got a positive again she was rude to me and told me that it's probably nothing because my hormones are still confused. When I told her my pregnancy tests were negative almost immediately after MC but are now positive again she reluctantly ordered a blood test for me, which I did on Friday at 4w.

Now she's scarring me that hcg 57 is way too low and should be at least 200 to confirm pregnancy (?) and that maybe it's a "leftover" from previous pregnancy. But all of the charts I found on the internet say anything between 10-400 is normal or at least 50-100 for 4w. I wonder what she'll say tomorrow but I just HATEEEEE the condescending way in which she's trying to convince me I'm not even pregnant. And I'm sensitive enough as it is.

I'm just dreading to reach a 6w mark (for now) so I can keep the pregnancy longer then the last time. Then the first ultrasound, then NIPT. But the days are dragging so much! And I hate how all the joy went out from something that was supposed to be the happiest part of the life. I'm just a ball of anxiety.

 

[sushimama]

I got my HCG results back, it was 450 at 4w4d! It should double every 2 days and I started with 57 4 days ago so I’m really pleased with it. The nurse finally admitted I am indeed pregnant and they scheduled my first ultrasound at 7 weeks already because the doctor’s going on a holiday after so I guess I’m lucky hehe. Ohhh this made me feel soooo much better, yesterday I was so down I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I’m still spotting tho so I’m thinking I should maybe cancel my tennis practice tomorrow and rest? I don’t want to completely stop but maybe just until the spotting stops because it’s really intense and my heart rate goes through the roof. I’m scared to do anything that could make the risk higher. 🥲

 

[lauren96111]

It’s shocking how bad the nhs can be when going through a miscarriage isn’t it ! I know they’re under stress but there is this lack of care..

Mine was 5 years ago but I’ll never forget how poorly I was treated. Questioned over and over: ‘was I even ever pregnant’ by some staff at the epu, made to sit on a filing cabinet to take my blood because they didn’t have a chair in the room I really did not want to go back for my second set of bloods to check levels were decreasing ok because of how poor the experience was !! Then back at my GP I’m told it’s okay because I’ll fall pregnant again soon… try 5 more years love
And another GP I saw a few weeks after my mc thought I was there for a 6 week post birth check up.. when I was there for pain following the mc


I know I had my baby since that mc but I hope no one minds me being on this thread either! Ttc#2 but with the fear of future mcs

I’m going through this now. I had fertility treatment for my first child so when I found out I was pregnant this time it was such a shock.
I am apparently 6+4 today. Starting spotting on Saturday and it’s continued to get heavier. GP was amazing on Monday and rang the EPU. They said tell her to come in but don’t promise her anything. I got there and was basically told we can scan you in a weeks times. Thankfully I argued my case and got a scan for Tuesday. Start of a pregnancy could be seen but was told to come back next Tuesday for follow up scan. Just left in limbo now and they said if it is bad news you can try again as soon as your period arrives. Not helpful information at all during all this never mind my past history of struggling to conceive. I haven’t even had bloods done. The whole system is broken and it just seemed like a revolving door to get you out as quick as possible

 

[sushimama]

Hey ladies. As we were talking in the other thread - we kinda don't belong to the normal pregnancy thread as we tend to worry much more and have specific anxieties after our losses. So this could be a safe place to discuss TTC / pregnancy after a loss.

 

[Keera]

I’m almost 7 weeks and it really does take the joy from it all. I’m constantly feeling my boobs to make sure they are still sore, checking obsessively that I haven’t bled even though I’ve had a 6 week scan at the weekend that showed everything was great.
Last time my partner was taking pictures of everything and watching every baby related tik tok under the sun to prepare himself but this time he isn’t. When I asked him if he wasn’t as excited he said he was but last time was just so painful he’s scared to go through it again.
A crystal ball would be amazing really 🥲 but I just keep reminding myself that today I am pregnant and things are okay, it’s getting me through (but the weeks are INCHING along).

@sushimama I hope that your results are good, my fingers are crossed for you!

 

[RoseyThorney]

Thank you so much Keera They're in the USA so not sure what they'll advise her, if they don't I just want to tell her what to do. I really appreciate your reply, bless you. Thank you lovely xx

This is so devastating, I’m so sorry. I’m glad your daughter-in-law is in a state where they’ll actually perform a TFMR for her and not forcing her to go full term. Pregnancy politics over in the USA can be diabolical.
---

I’m 9 and a half weeks pregnant and yesterday I seemed to have the tiniest spec of blood in my discharge. It hasn’t happened since and my EPU won’t see me for a scan because they’re not concerned at all. However, the exact same thing happened at the same time with my first pregnancy and I’d had a missed miscarriage. I can’t even find anywhere that will take me for a private scan for a week and I’m just beside myself with worry. I know most people would tell me not to panic, that it’s normal, and will be fine, but I don’t have that luxury of being able to assume that any more

I would be a bit naughty and tell them you’ve had a lot more blood just so they’ll get you in. It’s awful that even those of us who have suffered losses still have to fight and advocate for ourselves.
---

Spoiler: test / recurrent loss

So the top one is yesterday evening and the bottom is from first thing this morning.

This is my 5th pregnancy and none of my previous ones have made it past 6 weeks. I can’t even bring myself to be excited over this and neither can my fiancé. I hate how these recurrent losses have ruined what should be a special moment for us. I’m also concerned that the test line isn’t as dark as I would like for 4w1d, which is what happened with my previous ones, except for the first one which ended up being a missed MC anyway.

 

[Elisha97]

I’m 9 and a half weeks pregnant and yesterday I seemed to have the tiniest spec of blood in my discharge. It hasn’t happened since and my EPU won’t see me for a scan because they’re not concerned at all. However, the exact same thing happened at the same time with my first pregnancy and I’d had a missed miscarriage. I can’t even find anywhere that will take me for a private scan for a week and I’m just beside myself with worry. I know most people would tell me not to panic, that it’s normal, and will be fine, but I don’t have that luxury of being able to assume that any more

 

[Keera]

Reading all your stories I feel so sorry for you all and it’s awful you’ve had to go through all that with your EPUs. I feel grateful (maybe not the right word?) that my local EPU and A&E have been so great.
my first pregnancy I had bleeding and panicked and went to A&E and even though they couldn’t do very much so late at night they were lovely and a Dr from the gyn ward came down to do a scan and sorted for me to go to the EPU the next day.
My second more recent one I was under the EPU for fortnightly scans due to continued bleeding and when it was unfortunately diagnosed as a MC I saw two sonographers, a specialist nurse and a dr who were all so kind and let me take as much time as I wanted with them. The next day I had to go back for an anti-d injection before the meds and the nurse who gave me it had been floated from another ward to help and even she was so nice.

I think it makes the difference is although the staff see what we have gone through day in day out they don’t just treat you as another patient.

——

im 8 weeks + 1 day I believe today and despite the symptoms absolutely killing me and a perfect scan 2 weeks ago I still can’t help but think “what if” - I just want to enjoy my pregnancy

 

[Elisha97]

It's terrible how slow the days are moving when you are waiting to get some reassurance right? I hope everything goes smoothly for you and you can continue seeing strong heartbeat. Are your checkups more often now because of the previous experience?

I'm so upset with the way my nurse has been talking to me this past week. I found out I'm pregnant last Wednesday immediately after my MC last month, no period in between. My MC happened while I was traveling so the whole thing was dealt with abroad / private, I only had a checkup at my doctor last Tuesday and that was supposed to be my first pregnancy scan at 10 weeks. When I called my doctor a day after my scan to tell I got a positive again she was rude to me and told me that it's probably nothing because my hormones are still confused. When I told her my pregnancy tests were negative almost immediately after MC but are now positive again she reluctantly ordered a blood test for me, which I did on Friday at 4w.

Now she's scarring me that hcg 57 is way too low and should be at least 200 to confirm pregnancy (?) and that maybe it's a "leftover" from previous pregnancy. But all of the charts I found on the internet say anything between 10-400 is normal or at least 50-100 for 4w. I wonder what she'll say tomorrow but I just HATEEEEE the condescending way in which she's trying to convince me I'm not even pregnant. And I'm sensitive enough as it is.

I'm just dreading to reach a 6w mark (for now) so I can keep the pregnancy longer then the last time. Then the first ultrasound, then NIPT. But the days are dragging so much! And I hate how all the joy went out from something that was supposed to be the happiest part of the life. I'm just a ball of anxiety.

it really is.

so they claimed they would see me more often and offer more scans.. that hasn’t really happened. I’ve had an NHS scan at 5.5 weeks and 7.5 and they claimed they’d scan me again at 10 but they’ve refused as they’re ‘happy’ with my progression! I’ve decided to go private instead

I had the exact same experience with rude nurses, just a slightly different situ. I had bleeding in this pregnancy, quite significant and it looked like it could have been ectopic. EPU wouldn’t scan me at first and insisted on doing hormones first. I KNEW I was at a certain point but they kept fobbing me off and saying they would have to check my levels first. They’re so dismissive of your situation. I get some people can get things wrong but there’s no need to be so rude. I’ve never heard that either- I have been told things that are not medically correct by the nurses so I would take no notice of her.

it’s awful how what should be the happiest time of your life is just filled with constant doubts and worries and the unknown. I always say I could cope better if I just knew how it would turn out. It’s the not knowing that sends me crazy

 

[KittyCooper]

I’ve had two miscarriages in a row now. I am lucky to a have a wonderful 2.5 year old and although we had a wait to get pregnant it was relatively straightforward. I was always anxious when pregnant with her but the fact it went well kind of gave me a false confidence the second time around.
I got pregnant quickly the second time and told family but then ended up having a MMC picked up at a private 8 week scan. I had surgical management at 10 weeks.
I wanted to try again straight away and got pregnant just before Christmas. This ended up being a pregnancy of unknown location and after lots of scans for ectopic I lost it naturally at around 8 weeks.
I’m now trying to take a break and get healthy (physically and mentally) before trying again at the end of the summer. That said we’ve ended up having unprotected sex a couple times in the last two months and every time I’m straight back on the testing a week before my period is even due!
I worry I won’t get pregnant again, but also worry a lot about if I do and how I’ll cope. Becoming more and more tempted to leave it at one but know I’ll regret not trying. Not sure at what point we say enough is enough

 

[Pixie123]

I’ve just had my first squinter at 11/12DPO almost a year to the day after my D&C. Taken a year of trying but I am in absolute shock. Have confirmed on two separate tests.

Absolutely terrified to feel any excitement after last years nightmare but know I need to try and view this as a completely separate experience.

I have my first GP appointment next Tuesday to discuss fertility. Had honestly given up hope.

Has anyone got any tips / advice to help me relax? Xx

 

[Gracie_H]

Such a good idea setting up this thread! I’m newly pregnant (6 + 3) after a loss last November. I’ve barely got any symptoms which is stressing me out but trying to stay calm until I have an early scan! It’s so hard to stay positive after loss.

 

[Elisha97]

Thank you for the replies 🩷 little update, we managed to get a private scan and the baby is still fine, even gave us a little wave 🩷 I’m sure the worry will be just as bad tomorrow as I’m still spotting blood occasionally (been going on 5 weeks now) but for now I feel slightly better

 

[Elltee]

Well I'm out this month, my period just arrived. I'm absolutely gutted. Especially after having a MC last month I thought we may get lucky this month why is ttc so hard

 

[ciaoadiosimdone]

So pleased to see this thread!

This is my third pregnancy in the last year. First was a missed miscarriage which we found out about at 10 weeks in July last year, second was a weird situation in Feb this year which didn’t add up from the beginning possibly classed as a ‘chemical’ but I can’t be sure as it was just strange from the off.

I am now 7-8 weeks ish. We had a scan at 6 weeks and all was fine, but we had that the first time too so although I was reassured, it doesn’t last long. I am trying to take each day as it comes, trying not to overthink but it’s really hard to not think the worst when it’s all you know.

I am a serial toilet paper checker and I’m not sure why I still do that as it meant nothing before, also prodding my boobs at regular intervals to see if they still feel the same or not.
I’ve had more sickness this time than ever before so I’m hoping that’s a good sign but you never know. I also doubt my symptoms sometimes - like is this really pregnancy sickness or is this something else?!

I have another scan next week and really I’d like to hibernate till then. I cannot be doing with work and people at work!!

 

[anything at all]

It’s shocking how bad the nhs can be when going through a miscarriage isn’t it ! I know they’re under stress but there is this lack of care..

Mine was 5 years ago but I’ll never forget how poorly I was treated. Questioned over and over: ‘was I even ever pregnant’ by some staff at the epu, made to sit on a filing cabinet to take my blood because they didn’t have a chair in the room I really did not want to go back for my second set of bloods to check levels were decreasing ok because of how poor the experience was !! Then back at my GP I’m told it’s okay because I’ll fall pregnant again soon… try 5 more years love
And another GP I saw a few weeks after my mc thought I was there for a 6 week post birth check up.. when I was there for pain following the mc


I know I had my baby since that mc but I hope no one minds me being on this thread either! Ttc#2 but with the fear of future mcs

 

[Elisha97]

Joining this thread. I’ve got roughly 4 weeks to go until I reach the golden 12 week mark and my brain is just spaghetti at this point. I also know the 12 week point doesn’t mean that much and won’t reassure either. I feel like I’m stuck living in suspense and my brain is just consumed with all the worries that PAL brings 🩷

 

[anything at all]

Thinking of you both ! And anyone that has to go through this it’s bloody hard and really can suck the joy out of something that’s meant to be happy !!

One thing I regret from my PAL is never taking any bump pics

 

[Londonsays]

I couldn’t resist and did an early test, the 6 days early one and it’s negative… this time today I did it 2 months ago and it was positive. Fresh wave of sadness swept over me.