TTC #9 Your worth is not determined by your fertility

[Amylaauren]

Hey, we’ve just started getting Tests done and I have my bloods booked for April and March. I’ve told a couple of my friends and their replies aren’t really making me feel any better. Some are saying oh have you tried this and others have said didn’t think you were that bothered etc.
it’s been almost 2 years since I came off the pill and always had the mindset of whatever happens happens but getting concerned now.

 

[MidnightAura]

I made the mistake of testing today what I think is two days early if my body is playing by a 28 day cycle like last month. Normally it’s around 30 days. BFN. *Sigh*
I feel sick, my boobs are so sore and my head is killing me which just feels like my body is teasing me

 

[Elisha97]

I’m now in the two week wait and I’ve already lost my mind 🫡

 

[littlenoodle]

CD1 for me again today. Don't know why I am feeling more disappointed this month than ever. Maybe because it's January haha.

 

[Scorpihoe]

Tested a few days ago - BFN. Waiting for my period now 🥲

my husbands cousin gave birth a few days ago, and seeing all the baby pics is really getting me down. I’m really happy for her, but sad for me too. Doesn’t help that my SIL keeps sending me cute baby memes 🥲

 

[Cloak]

4 DPO here and can’t believe how slow time is going.

I’m looking out for symptoms hopefully, but the only one so far is that I want to KILL my husband, he is really annoying me

so probs not a symptom, just the fact he is an annoying end

(I’m semi joking)

 

[Sunshine489]

Cycle day 19 think I've hit my peak

 

[Greencatfysh]

I’m pretty certain I’ve had duff tests or a chemical pregnancy if I can even call it that, I’m 14DPO now according to my tests and still getting such faint lines. I’m literally googling obsessively to see success stories after faint line. AF is due tomorrow. I’m just so enraged that we have to go through SO much and then even when you get 4-5 faint lines on tests it still means nothing?! How on earth are we supposed to cope with this. I’m only 6 months in to trying “properly” and I’m so so down about it. Lying in bed in the dark now, I can’t face trying to do normal things today.

 

[Cloak]

I really convinced myself I must be pregnant over the last few days, was convinced I “felt” pregnant!! Skipped testing for a day or so (because I blasted through all my tests lol) but still BFN yesterday and this morning.

15DPO now I must be out, used a FRER yesterday and period due today.

Just want AF to come now so I can get on with my life!!
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I also hate Clear Blue pregnancy tests, I got a negative with one of the blue dye line ones, then an hour later it had a blue positive line. That was like 4 days ago, and I didn’t really take it to mean anything, but of course my mind started running riot.

 

[Keera]

The bleeding from my recent loss has slowed down to almost nothing now. Thinking of going back to OPKs at the start of next week if I’m testing negative although I’m prepared that maybe I won’t O this month.
I think it’s right for me to try straight away though.
Will be interesting to see what happens with my cycle - they had randomly gotten longer by 7-10 days before that pregnancy.

On another note, as I’ve commented here before things are tight - timeframe wise - for me. The timing of that pregnancy had been perfect but in any future pregnancies (if I’m lucky) I will be leaving my current job to move 400 miles away before I will be eligible to start mat leave and likely too far gone to start another job. Or I’ll be interviewing for jobs while 6 months pregnant…
We can (just) afford for me to be out of work for about a year.
But with our last loss devastating us so much we just have this drive to try again sooner than later.
I think I’ll just have to take it one day at a time and roll with whatever happens.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

@ThisIsMyDragName How are you doing? Has AF come yet??

Thanks for checking in lovely! AF came yesterday and it was kind of a relief and I was kind of super sad all at the same time as I’d really built myself up full of hope (despite 10,000 BFN tests ). Tomorrow is CD3 so time for the Hertility test sample and then that’s it, no more thinking about TTC stuff till Jan. Might as well reap the benefits of not being pregnant by eating soft cheese (if that’s even still a thing, I don’t even know!) and drinking alcohol

 

[Brewtime87]

I live away from my parents and in laws and as we agreed to try in August/September I naively was convinced I would be telling them all the happy news once I travelled back for the holiday period. Now obviously that’s definitely not going to happen and all it’s like an extra disappointment.
They know we want children, not that we are trying but I still feel the expectation of news whenever we visit.
Does anyone just be up front that they are trying to stop the comments and nudges from family? Or just grin and bear it?

I'm in exactly the same boat living away from family. I see them twice a year and I had it in my naive little head that I'd be bringing a newborn to meet them all this christmas, or at the very least able to give them scan pics with their Christmas presents.
Then my partners family, we lost his father very unexpectedly earlier this year, we're all heartbroken by it and I was really hoping I could end what's been an awful year with some happy news of a baby. But it's just not worked out that way. I have to keep hoping that it'll happen when the time is right, but I always know I'm going to get people yet again asking "when", as if we can just press a button and chose exactly when we want, ffs. The worst was earlier this year when a member of my partners family told me how disappointing it was that we never had kids or got married while his dad was still with us.
On top of this I'm not a big drinker, but I find myself forcing myself to drink when around others because as soon as I don't, they all start watching me like a hawk and nudging each other. It's exhausting. My heart goes out to all of you going through the same x

 

[Lorny]

My AF arrived today. Period was a day late and was showing no sign of arriving. I had really got my hopes up over the last few days and now I’m just so deflated. Had a cry to my boyfriend and going to have an Aperol Spritz later and on to the next cycle. I swear your body knows what you are trying to do and just decides to mess you about.

 

[carblife]

Finally spoke to my doctor yesterday. God knows how long the waiting list is for a referral but happy I’ve done it!
Two years off contraception in December and nothing. Does anyone else start questioning if they’re even DTD right? So frustrating

 

[Jasminexx02]

Spoiler: Test again

It got darker over the hour since I took it, I know it’s not reliable. But I’m 10DPO and on a random mid afternoon wee so it would explain why it’s faint. We shall see!!

View attachment 2625706

Spoiler

Oh definitely!! So pleased for you x

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Spoiler: Test

My test this morning 11DPO. Hoping it sticks this time but very anxious

 

[Amylaauren]

Feeling slightly gutted at the moment - we are not actively trying, but also not actively preventing since October last year (if that makes sense), got news yesterday that someone close to me is 3 weeks plus whilst still on the pill.
This time last year, we really thought we'd have good news but still nothing yet

exactly same for us too. All of my friends are either pregnant or with children now and I just feel so so alone.
I’ve been receiving photos of scans, nurseries, positive tests and it’s tearing me apart.
we are due to go on holiday tomorrow and I just want to relax and have a glass of wine but on the two week wait now. I don’t feel like it will be positive though.

 

[yankydoo]

Second month of TTC for me. I tested ovulation this month and we did it on the night of and day after the peak. I'm 12 days DPO and have done three tests already (all negative). Decided to wait now to see if my period arrives as it's so easy to get obsessed! When we first started I thought I'd take it easy and give myself a good few months of not tracking anything. Clearly that's not worked! I am 37 so am feeling pressure.

 

[Jasminexx02]

Feeling massively PMS-like cramps today so think I’m out this month :/

 

[ciaoadiosimdone]

A little update from me… still not sure what to think if I’m honest.
GP calls me with blood results, first thing she says is that she does have two results but they both say they were taken on Monday and she wanted to check that with me.
I obvs explained no, one Monday and one Wednesday as she asked. She goes on to say that one result is higher, one is lower - but it isn’t clear which is which She then rings the lab.
Rings me back about ten mins later and says that the lower value was Monday and the higher was Wednesday, that both results indicate early pregnancy and the doubling of the result is a good sign. She also rang the EPU for advice and I’ve got a number I can call if I have any concerns. She has ordered me another blood test for next week so we have a third result - I think this will hopefully give the clarity we need.
I just don’t trust this given the clear cock up with the dates/times of bloods, and the bleed I had when my period was due. I have a little bit of hope for the best, but also overall still expecting the worse. TTC and pregnancy after loss is a total ride and I send lots of love and good wishes to you all 🩷

 

[anything at all]

I’ve woke up with cramps and my period isn’t even due for another 4 days yet 🥲
I think it’s probably a bad sign. I’m sure it’s happened like this on other cycles where I’ve had cramps for nearly a week and my period then shows up right on time.

it’s all so frustrating we always wanted 2 or 3 kids, so incredibly lucky to have 1, but it sucks how we could never plan things and space things out over years. Literally always just been waiting around and running out of time