TTC #3

[fishsticks]

What was the name @fishsticks ? I’m nosy

Ruairi! Pronounced Rory. (I appreciate not everyone's cuppa tea!) She even chose the true Irish spelling and she's not Irish.

Edit - probs should point out I'm Irish hence the irritation over her or her family not being Irish

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

Hi all, new to this thread. Husband and I have just really started TTC in the last 2 months. Tomorrow is my ovulation day - so currently in my weeks window of chance of conception.
I don’t fully understand all of the abbreviations you use here yet. And not fully researched in all the tips. Currently just doing the old fashioned DTD and hope for the best.
I’ve never felt desperate to have a baby but now All my friends have babies or are pregnant and I’m starting to panic a bit in case I leave it too late. Currently 33. Husband is desperate for one and he’s been the driving force behind TTC mostly.
all tips and help appreciated

 

[Lola UK]

A welcoming, friendly thread for those TTC (trying to conceive)

(stole these from the previous thread, thank you @Dibdab

Some common abbreviations:

AF = Aunt Flo (period)

BFP = big fat positive

BFN = big fat negative

OPK = ovulation predictor kit

HPT = Home pregnancy test

DTD = do/did the deed

Baby dust to everyone!

 

[JLXRD]

Ahh thankyou all for responding and being so lovely feel very reassured that you can all see the lines too as I know in the past I have had definite line eyes and can convince myself I see a line even if I def don’t

I will def update tomorrow, going to test in the morning and hoping to see a darker line or at least still see one.

Husband and I are trying not to be excited in the mean time just in case it’s indents or a chemical but I hope so much that it’s not

 

[Honeybeetea]

just pee’d

Hi everyone, always been a long time lurker on this thread and have always found comfort in all of your comments through your TTC journey You are all so inspirational. Currently in my fifth month TTC (I know it’s not long at all in comparison), and really having a hard time staying optimistic. My issue is that as soon as I feel any mildly related pregnancy symptoms I convince myself that I am, that and also the temptation of testing too early when I know in my head that I shouldn’t but yes, just wanted to pop here to say hi and thank you all for being so open and honest with your own journeys and experiences, they’ve really helped me and so many others.

Hi welcome!
Really relating to your post at the moment! I’m 6dpo and feeling ALL the symptoms (that probably aren’t even there!)

I caved and took a cheapy internet test earlier for no valid reason! I know it’s far too early and it was always going to be negative but i kinda feel like I’d rather get the negative out the way to remove any last bit of hope I have left during the two week wait and I can kinda try and stop thinking about it? I know it makes no sense but I dunno I guess I’m really struggling this month. One of those months where it seems so impossible sorry for the rant just wanted to put my thoughts into words xx

 

[JLXRD]

Talking to a friend who is currently pregnant about how I got a negative result today and that I'm sad about it and the response i get is "I'm so lucky I caught mine early so I don't have to go through more cycles"...

How insensitive?

People just don’t word things right I hope she meant she feels grateful because she understands what you are going through must be so hard.

I started to really resent people essentially bragging about getting pregnant - ‘we got pregnant first time every time, my husband just has to look at me and I’m pregnant’

like good for you.

I think not conceiving right away definitely helps you be more aware and careful with your words around pregnancy.

 

[Sallycinnamon_]

We’re so anxious about the results of the sperm analysis Monday . I’m so angry they told my OH it was abnormal with no context and told to wait til Monday. I’m aware it could be something minimal but also can’t shake it could be something really bad.

 

[Mrsbumble]

Thanks everyone for your replies! I got a digital test and it says pregnant 1-2 weeks although the date of my last period was beginning of June! I’m in shock to be honest! Thank you again

 

[Marymoo13]

Oh god that's worried me. I hope it's just a short term thing that will stress me out a lot did the cycles go funny straight away after the first vaccine? What one did you have? I had Pfizer x

It is rude. The last couple of times someone has asked I have said 'we have been trying for a long time now and it's not happening, currently having tests' that shut them up. Then they feel uncomfortable. But so they should.
I'm not usually all open for people knowing but the question really annoys me. What if I'd just had a miscarriage, or been told I couldn't have children?! Plus not all women want children.

And men are never really asked about babies constantly like women are either. That annoys me too

I totally get this, I went back to work the week after having a miscarriage in 2018 and one of our elderly customers came in with a new grand baby and was proudly showing her off (as she should) and she asked when I was going to “pop one out” and I didn’t even manage to answer her I just had to walk away and cry in the bathroom. Thankfully my manager was also there and knew I had just had a MC so he explained the the lady. But you’d think someone with so many years under their belt would be more cautious of their words

 

[fishsticks]

Looks like we were all feeling pretty similar yesterday! Hope everyone's okay.

My husband was so excited when we found a BFP on the 12th and he was like omg and Sunday is Father's day... Only to then bleed on the Friday before and then BFN. The sadness comes in waves. It has affected me more than I could ever imagine.

I'm back to work today after a week off and everyone is asking about my 'lovely week off'. It's not their fault, they aren't to know, but it just makes you realise that what you post on social media isn't all rainbows and butterflies. Everyone's fighting their own battles behind the scenes.

I decided to delete Facebook and Instagram off my phone for the foreseeable for these very reasons.

 

[MrsWolf]

I’ve just got to work and AF has just arrived for the first time since the end of December!! I’ve just cried happy tears and got the weirdest look from my manager. Never been so happy to have a period.

 

[calmyourritas]

I knew it.. period started about 10 mins after I posted that previous message onto a new cycle let’s go then!

View attachment 662539View attachment 662663
I took the above test this morning with second wee and felt like I saw a tiny line, so got a digital and it’s positive.
My first pregnancy and my boyfriend was so excited it doesn’t feel real I just want to pee on all the sticks to make sure!
What do you even do now

I’m sending so much love, prayers and baby dust to you all! This thread really helps keep you sane and give clarity to each month

Congrats to you Amazing news xxx

 

[fishsticks]

I have no idea how many dpo I am as I gave up tracking this month. I'm thinking I'm 5 or 6, but trying not to think about it to stop myself from testing ridicukously early. I'm really hoping this is our cycle.. But doesn't everyone. Finding it all very exhausting at the moment.

 

[Sunshinegal]

Thanks for all your kind messages. This thread is just amazing for me, everyone is so understanding and gets it.

I haven't told my other half yet. I don't know why but I hate telling him. It's like admitting it's a failure again. And when I'm not telling him it keeps the hope alive a bit. Weird I know.
He has children already so I think this makes me feel even more of a failure.

It is definately period. I feel like giving up? It's like your putting yourself through all this pain for nothing. I want a baby so bad so I keep going but doing this for nothing is soul destroying. Especially having had no hope at all in all that time. And what makes is worse is having nobody who truly understands and gets it. TTC is lonely and people just don't understand it unless they have been there.

 

[fishsticks]

Hi ladies. I am fairly certain this pregnancy will not be progressing and I will be back with you all shortly, I just wanted to update you all.

Spoiler: Trigger warning: potential pregnancy loss

I wrote last week that my tests weren’t getting darker and my CB digi was also stying in 1-2 weeks. I’m sad to say that my tests have still not darkened and this morning are nearly negative with very faint lines. CB digi has now said 1-2 weeks for 10 days. I know people say not to look at test darkness but for my tests to have been dark and now be coming back almost negative at 19dpo with multiple brands, it’s not looking good.

My symptoms have faded from last week - I know that means nothing but coupled with the tests, I am feeling fairly certain this will not result in a successful pregnancy.

I am obviously devastated and have spent the whole morning since testing just inconsolable. I never allowed myself to feel too happy as I was sure something was wrong, and I guess I was right. My husband has been so happy though and he is just crushed so I just feel incredibly guilty for his sadness, even though I know there’s nothing I could have done.

I am basically just waiting for the physical symptoms to start, which I’m pretty terrified about to be honest. I’m only 4+5 going by ovulation (or 6+2 from LMP) so I’m hoping it won’t be too physically painful. I have not gone through a loss before so I don’t know what to expect. This would have been our first baby.

I am rambling and I’m sorry for offloading here, but I didn’t tell anyone about the pregnancy and have no one to speak with about it, just feel like l can’t move forward at the moment.

Hi lovely, I am so sorry that it isn't progressing as you'd hope.

I've experienced what you might be going through. I'll pop it below just bcus TW.

Spoiler: TW pregnancy loss

At the time I didn't really know about tests getting darker, etc. It was our first month trying and I was absolutely elated to get a positive the day before my period so 13dpo. Although I had an instinct I was pregnant around a 10dpo. No positive until 13dpo. Took a digital the following day which said pregnant 1-2. I had middle cramping from 6dpo and this continued till 12dpo and I just had little twinges from then. No spotting.

14dpo (it was a Saturday) my boobs became veiny and sore, I felt nauseous and I couldn't stay awake past 9pm. That continued until the Wednesday and I noticed my boobs weren't as sore... I just knew something wasn't right, but tried to convince myself it was normal as I knew no different.

Thursday I found the tiniest (and I mean microscopic) speck of blood in my cm. Cried about it. A lot. Devastated. Friday symptoms were disappearing, fatigue has almost gone and my nausea had disappeared. Saturday evening I began to bleed. I worked it out to being exactly 5 weeks so my period was exactly a week late.

I can explain my experience of the loss physically after we knew, but it might not be helpful to you right now. Just know that it is so normal to feel guilty and upset.

I cried spontaneously for 3 weeks. I'd make a cuppa and cry. I'd walk into the garage and cry. I'd dust the window sill and cry. I couldn't stop crying. Even now I have a cry thinking about how far along I would be.

My husband still feels very emotional about it all. We talk about it together, but he's become very cynical and anxious about conceiving.

One thing I wish I didn't do was Google it. Now I'm terrified. I thought it might calm me but it didn't. Then I read some people get pregnant the cycle straight after and that didn't happen for me. My cycle was ridiculously long and I lost all hope. Thought there was something wrong.

I'm on cycle 3 now and the 2nd after my loss. My body seems to have settled now and I feel in a more positive place than I did. It was dark for a while and I won't lie and say it gets easier because it doesn't. I just hope I can find peace with what's happened and with myself one day when a rainbow baby comes our way.

Sending lots of love xx

 

[CinnamonBun]

My OH came home from work today and said that his friend at work kept going around showing their baby scan (for their 4 child). Saying how it just happened straight away each time. It’s horrible seeing how much it’s upset him. . It’s not his friends fault though, they aren’t to know how we’re struggling, but still.

 

[fishsticks]

CD8 and I'm already feeling deflated. I know ovulation is around the corner but after then the tww is here and I'm just not sure I can deal with another negative month. I really thought the last cycle would be the one, but not even I could convince myself of a vvvvvfl.

Baby dust to everyone.

 

[fishsticks]

Got my static smiley yesterday but I'm dubious... I'm pretty sure I ovulated Saturday. Do I trust my body/instinct or a smiley??? I've definitely had enough sex either way.. pretty tired of the sight of my husbands willy now and my poor foo foo needs a break.

 

[Louk]

Hi everyone,

I usually appear around AF, when the heartache is bad and I need to talk to people that understand. Apart from then and obvious times like friends pregnancy announcements, I've kept myself okay.

But the last month I have struggled. I've disapeared off these threads a little as I'm really finding this hard. It's like the heartache I feel when AF comes is just there, lurking, at all times. I have to avoid and keep my self busy because I feel like I could cry all the time. My heart is hurting and nobody understands. I find the pain of AF hard enough, I don't know how to deal with this all the time.
The doctors have been shit and it's not been great, we are behind. I guess all that doesn't help.

What I need is if anyone at all, has positive stories. I am 18 months and half way through cycle 20 with no hint at all of a positive. Nothing. I need to hear this happened to others and it just happened for them. As time goes on this gets more and more unlikely and I think this is what is hard, the hope is going.

So if anybody with previous children, or knows of stories that can help a girl struggling, I'd love that

Sending love to you all on this painful journey xxxx

I'm going to try to cheer you up.

There's nothing wrong with either my husband or myself, we started trying in 2013 (I was 34, so time wasn't on my side). All my - much younger - friends had babies in 2015... but....nothing!! In 2016 we went to a clinic for IVF, we were told they don't do anything in December and to come back in January. We went on holiday to visit family (they're really religious and prayed for me, or, we both relaxed in the sunshine ) I got home and had a smear test:

1 I was bleeding quite randomly and was terrified I had cancer, so that was a mental block
2 the nurse is really ham-fisted and just jabbed at my lady bits for AGES!! .

Hubby suggested we have sex that night, I literally couldn't face it, so we dtd the following night. Honestly, we probably did it 2-3 times that cycle because I'd given up hope and was waiting for the IVF.

PREGNANT 37, on the verge of IVF and definitely not trying hard.
After having my kid, I've now discovered that the random bleeding is from uterine polyps, I've had 2 operations to remove them and I'm once again in the 3rd year of trying. We really don't want to do IVF and drive ourselves crazy when we have a wonderful child, but secretly, it's driving me crazy that's why I'm here

So, apart from being pregnant and recovering from having my vag stitched up, I've basically been playing this almost hopeless game, in silence, since 2013. I can understand why you're not on here all the time and I can totally understand your pain, everyone's pain, that was me. It's really hard to believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I really hope for you that there is

 

[JLXRD]

update - 12dpo and woke up with cramps and spotting this morning. Just checked again and I’d say it’s getting a tiny bit heavier so assuming this is AF starting and it be a proper AF very shortly. Temp also dropped a fair bit this morning, still way above cover line but all seems to align as it should were I not pregnant.

I feel a lot better about it than I thought I would, kind of just like ok then onto the next. I’m sure I’d feel differently if it had been a few cycles though. I am maybe slightly relieved to see the back of this cycle but I feel like I shouldn’t say - it’s just that I found it so stressful and I am now on CD44 so it just feels like I’m ready to start fresh now.

I also think next month we will have better chances as by the time I actually ovulated we were both a bit poorly, had thrush and hadn’t DTD in 7 days so we didn’t give ourselves the best chances (also because I didn’t ovulate until CD 32, between CD 8 and CD 25 we had DTD 17 times to try and have good chances and were quite frankly sick of each other by that point ).

SO... basically my very long winded way of saying I’m excited for cycle 2 and hopefully a less stressful (shorter) time before ovulation.

Sending baby dust and hope everyone is doing ok