TTC #3

[fishsticks]

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing okay!

So AF is due tomorrow and I've had weird cramps that don't feel like periods pains as well as a dull ache in my lower abdomen for a week or so. So I took a FRER and there's a faint line, but I'm not sure if this is what an indent looks like? Does anyone know? Think I'm being over cautious. Thanks x

 

[Marymoo13]

Spoiler: TW Miscarriage/feeling sorry for myself

The ‘anniversary’ of my miscarriage is this week and I’m finding it really tough. It will be 3 years since it happened and I can’t help but think about the fact I’d have a toddler running around. Still no bump or baby though.
I hope all of you lovely ladies are still holding strong

 

[Sunshinegal]

Hi all,

Sorry to hear that some of you struggled on fathers day

I'm struggling with the fact I've never seen any hint of a bfp. Like nothing.
A good friend has one child, and trying for another and talks to me like we are the same. I feel so bad for her as she's trying too but at the same time I right now feel so badly that I just want one baby I feel so awful for feeling this way, I know it's awful but she's a mum and I just want to be someone's mum. I'm sorry to anyone reading who is trying and struggling who already has kids. I just can't help but be envious when someone already does have children and I can't even get two lines in any way. I know I'm being selfish.
The thought of my period not coming and seeing two lines doesn't even feel possible.

Also worrying as I've seen people at my stage being offered IVF. IVF isn't offered in my area as there is no funding for it so I have been really worried about this the last few days. Don't get me wrong I had a good weekend, but its playing on my mind, that I may have little hope if I need that.

I'm hoping cycle 19 is lucky, I will keep positive as always, I will hope... but I don't believe at all that anything will happen. I guess that loss of real hope makes me sad now, I remember that excitement and it's just gone now as I don't believe it anymore.

Sending you all love.

 

[JLXRD]

Thanks everyone for your kind messages. @fishsticks your message in particular has helped me so much to feel less alone.

I know some of you are just trying to help me have hope, and were it just the CB weeks, I may still have some - but even my FRERs which were blaring positives this time last week have faded to almost nothing. My symptoms are gone. My temp is dropping. I sadly do think it’s over for this pregnancy. It would hurt more to cling onto hope when all the signs are telling me not to.

I’ve cried for hours today. I’m beside myself, but I am prepared for what is coming and for that I feel grateful xx

 

[Lola UK]

Thank you, how maddening I feel like I spend a fortune on tests!

Did you test?

Love to all the TTC fellas out there, who often get overlooked, on this Father’s Day 🤍🤍

 

[JLXRD]

Bleh I found today hard. I feel extra on edge today. MIL was talking about how time goes fast as you age and the started saying how it’s more when you have children so me and my husband wouldn’t understand (SIL was there with her kids too) I know she couldn’t know we are trying but i never realised how thoughtless people’s comments are.

The other day she started saying how soon SILs kids will have outgrown the high chair they have at their house for them so they might as well sell it on, (they kept it between SILs pregancies though ‘just in case’) I don’t know why but the fact that she hadn’t even considered that we might have a baby really got to me.

hope you are all doing ok and have made it through today without too much sadness xxx

 

[Sunshinegal]

So after my period came Friday night I had a day or so for myself, had a good cry.
Felt fine after that.
Positive thing out of it is that the vaccine didn't affect my period, it came on time and even about the same amount, I'd been worried about that so that's good.
Generally feel all good and fine but the last couple of days my heart hurts a bit. The positivity is so hard to have after 18 cycles.
My Facebook is full of scans and pregnancies, my friend is pregnant after a few weeks by accident. I'm happy for her but my god, it is killing me inside. It all feels kind of pointless at times now.
Other half's sperm test has to be re done. It was booked and I realised it was right at the end of my fertile week so ovulation day or around it. He changed it so its another 2 weeks after that. I mean, it's good not to miss the fertile period, but then at the same time it's delaying my referral again. It won't happen so maybe it should have been left when it was, he didn't want to though. And it's his journey too. I sometimes wish he felt the heartache of it though! God I feel so alone at this stage of TTC.

Sorry I'm not really a moany cow like I seem on here. Just writing out my thoughts to those who get it.

Hope you all have a lovely day x

 

[Lola UK]

Hope everyone is having a lovely bank holiday weekend ive got a glass of vino and ordered myself a dominoes!

 

[Louk]

This is what I love about Tattle, we're a bunch of anonymous strangers on the internet, but when you need some support and understanding, someone out there will be there for you

 

[Smallpotato]

I took a test today and it’s positive. Where’s @Sailorontheseasea??

 

[pinkstock]

Hey everyone. Long time no speak. Hope you are all doing ok - I’m still here lurking a few months on I’m not sure if any of you have felt like this, but I’m struggling a bit with future planning.
Feel like I can’t make plans because if I plan something around potentially getting pregnant, I will jinx it and it won’t happen. Not sure if that even makes sense. I’m such a control freak - like my childless friends are talking about a booking piss-up holiday for next year - I’d rather be pregnant and miss it , but if it doesn’t happen for us by then, will I be kicking myself for not going? Or if I don’t go and then I’m still not pregnant is it because I jinxed myself by assuming I would be?

I think the way I’m feeling is also super selfish and shallow but I just can’t help it hoping someone will understand

 

[calmyourritas]

I'm day 15 and was shocked when I ovulated on day 8, the day I started testing!!! Hope you haven't missed out too! We only DTD once on day 8, hubby had an exam and I had a cough, so really no hope for us this month and I'm seriously considering giving up, I think I have one more month to go before I'm giving birth aged 43

I got a flashy face today!!! Let’s go (looks like my thirst on the Mason Mount thread may come in useful after all)!

 

[instagramloverinlondon]

I've just left the EPU, had a blood test to see my levels and have to go back in 48 hours for another to compare it. So in limbo really. They did an internal scan but couldn't see anything which was unlikely anyway given its so early. So will have to wait and see.

 

[Neonmoon]

Sorry I just need somewhere to rant.
The past 2 weeks I’ve been on the most horrendous period, and for the first time my moods have been so low that I’ve had thoughts of harming myself (I’ve called my doctor and did not act on the harming) I’ve been in excruciating pain from my thighs to my back.. one day I bleed heavily, the next spotting, the next heavy.. bright bright red to then pale pink to brown... I’ve no idea what’s going on
I’ve had norethisterone, I’ve had naproxen and another one with an M I’ve had co coda ok for the pain...

To top it all off! Everyone is pregnant absolute everyone around me, 5 years we’ve been going now and a few losses but it’s starting to kill me... I’m even dreaming that my family members are pregnant with twins for them to give them up for adoption and me begging to have them...

(I’m seeing a psychiatrist right now don’t worry) but I just want my body to work and for a doctor to take me seriously!

 

[Sunshinegal]

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all okay. I keep disappearing because I am struggling and at the moment I guess I'm dealing with that by sticking my head in the sand and trying to ignore it all. It's the way I'm kind of coping. I guess I'm Kind of running away from it all a bit. If I stop I feel like my heart will give in, and in all honesty the thought of feeling how I do when AF comes all the time, just horrifys me, I can't deal with it.
I'm 8dpo. I'll be honest I have no hope. As it drawers closer I will not be able to help it and will have some, but I won't actually think it will happen.

Lots of love to you all, especially those on the painful journey when it just isn't happening

 

[fishsticks]

I've got cramping and twinges and my brain is getting all excited, googling symptoms, hoping for the best and my heart just can't bear to be broken again. Currently feeling like

 

[Sunshinegal]

Love some of these comments.

I actually HATE the fertile week now
I think I even dread it a little.
The pressure, being knackered and just the fact you HAVE to. Then the fact you do all of it knowing it probably won't even happen!

Someone was like oh I'd love that, sex all the time.
Yeah you try having to do it all week even when you don't wanna for 20 cycles and it never even happening not what it seems after that long!

 

[JLXRD]

so after I took the frer, I looked back at the pictures and I thought I could see a vvvfl but I don’t think it had colour. I took another frer out of its wrapper and lo and behold it had a grey line already on it. My husband could see the line in the pic too so I knew I wasn’t going mad.

Anyway, we went out for lunch and stopped to see if we could get more frers for me to test again tomorrow however they only had CB 6 days earlier ones which I didn’t want to get because I know blue dye isn’t great but I got it anyway.

Got home and thought might as well do a cheapy strip test (addict) and thought i could see a faint line so did another and the blue dye test and …

Spoiler: Trigger warning, pregnancy test

What do you guys think? Be brutal! I can def see a very faint line on all 3 but I don’t know. I am either 11dpo or 9dpo, 2 apps telling me 2 different things. I am scared they could all be indents but surely on 3 separate tests that is unlikely? I am too scared to think it is real, I’m in total shock at the prospect. I don’t know if I should believe it or not. I just feel numb because I think I’m too afraid to feel happy just in case. I will of course test again tomorrow.

Ps: they are super yellow because the pregnacare makes my pee fluorescent

 

[fishsticks]

Thank you so much, everyone! Did another FRER and it came out the same, so I'll do a digital one in the morning. Eek!!

 

[JLXRD]

I have only just started TTC but have been married for just over 1.5 years and was shocked by how many people think it’s acceptable to ask when we were having children. I pointed out to some people how inappropriate of a question that is, I’ve directly said what if we were trying to conceive and hadn’t been able to yet?

It’s so so thoughtless, I’m sorry if you ladies have to deal with that question. Tell them it’s none of their business, and that when you are having a baby, you will be sure to let them know but until then it’s not up for discussion!