TTC #3

[Celeste]

I've just literally danced in the bathroom at the arrival of AF. CD51. A new record. Hurray for a new cycle at last!

 

[calmyourritas]

I’m just feeling so down today.

Spoiler: Sad chat

I’ve been crying on and off and feel like I can’t stop. I should be 20 weeks today and it should be so happy and exciting to be halfway and it’s just shit. I don’t even know why I’m posting this, I just need to say it to someone. I just can’t fathom how life can be so cruel. I know I’m never going to forget it, but I need someone to tell me the pain won’t last forever and there will be a day where my heart won’t hurt quite so bad

 

[MrsWolf]

I feel like a dick, my brother has just announced he’s having a baby and I am genuinely so happy for him but I ended the call and just burst out crying. I swear TTC really brings out the worst in you

 

[miamae]

Talking to a friend who is currently pregnant about how I got a negative result today and that I'm sad about it and the response i get is "I'm so lucky I caught mine early so I don't have to go through more cycles"...

How insensitive?

Some people are just arseholes! Sorry you had to go through that. My ex best friend (ex for this very reason) a few days after my miscarriage, rather than asking me how I was etc, messaged me asking if I had any remedies for morning sickness! Some people just don’t think.

 

[JLXRD]

I feel like I want it so badly this month the previous months I’ve been a bit more chill about it and I know I’m setting myself up to be crushed if I’m not. 8dpo so still a few days to wait as I have a 12 day LP. I’ve got an awful blocked nose today and I’ve even been googling if that could be symptom, but I know everything is a symptom of you google it!

2 friends of mine have just announced the birth of their babies and I’m happy for them but I can’t help but feel so jealous. I feel like I could cope with no having a baby if I knew I was at least pregnant and knew I would have one soon.

I really really want to be pregnant this month

 

[Sunshinegal]

I was 14dpo yesterday but the last two cycles I've been a day late. As expected its come, but literally just so I've waited all day. This is now cycle 18. I have kept upbeat and positive and I'm sure in a couple of days I will again. But there is only so long I can keep this up. I feel like I realistically am not just going to get pregnant now. I'm probably being emotional but however positive I try to be, the absolute heartache I feel every month is getting worse. I truly wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.
I know there are others far worse off, but right now my heart hurts so so badly.

 

[Grigiogirls]

Hi everyone, always been a long time lurker on this thread and have always found comfort in all of your comments through your TTC journey You are all so inspirational. Currently in my fifth month TTC (I know it’s not long at all in comparison), and really having a hard time staying optimistic. My issue is that as soon as I feel any mildly related pregnancy symptoms I convince myself that I am, that and also the temptation of testing too early when I know in my head that I shouldn’t but yes, just wanted to pop here to say hi and thank you all for being so open and honest with your own journeys and experiences, they’ve really helped me and so many others.

 

[Sunshinegal]

Hey girls,

Thanks for the other day, you were all lovely

A friend of the family started TTC months AFTER me. I remember her telling people they were struggling and how terrible it was after trying for 6 months.... Well she had her baby this week. Then there's me... Still here.

Can't even imagine actually having a baby! Like a faraway dream now...

Lots of love to anyone who needs it today

 

[Sunshinegal]

Hi everyone,

I usually appear around AF, when the heartache is bad and I need to talk to people that understand. Apart from then and obvious times like friends pregnancy announcements, I've kept myself okay.

But the last month I have struggled. I've disapeared off these threads a little as I'm really finding this hard. It's like the heartache I feel when AF comes is just there, lurking, at all times. I have to avoid and keep my self busy because I feel like I could cry all the time. My heart is hurting and nobody understands. I find the pain of AF hard enough, I don't know how to deal with this all the time.
The doctors have been shit and it's not been great, we are behind. I guess all that doesn't help.

What I need is if anyone at all, has positive stories. I am 18 months and half way through cycle 20 with no hint at all of a positive. Nothing. I need to hear this happened to others and it just happened for them. As time goes on this gets more and more unlikely and I think this is what is hard, the hope is going.

So if anybody with previous children, or knows of stories that can help a girl struggling, I'd love that

Sending love to you all on this painful journey xxxx

 

[Sunshinegal]

Hey everyone,

Ive had a little break from ttc threads since my last AF. Sometimes my mind needs it.
10dpo though so it's approaching again... I know it will very much most likely be heartbreak again so I'm sure I'll be on here in tears in a few days as you are the ones who understand!

So husbands sperm anaylsis came back as low on the morphology (the shape /form of the sperm I think) . The paperwork hadn't been filled in properly though so they say they cannot say if its actually okay as it depends when he last came (sorry tmi) could be 2 weeks ago or 2 days ago for all they know they said... The morphology would obviously be different for however long it's been. I mean it said not to do anything for 3-5days so we didn't (luckily not the fertile window) so it was in the right time frame. So I do wonder if its correct that morphology Is low and not just to do with the paperwork error. Apparently drinking can affect this and he does drink each evening. It can be reversed. So he's trying to be healthier. His sperm count was high which so great. I was very upset at having to do it again. I know that's irrational but I already feel behind at only being at this stage when we about to go into cycle 18, and now we have to re do this before I can even be referred to a clinic... Then the waiting list.
We also had a nightmare even getting the results as the clinic and gp both denied having them for days and just wouldn't listen for a bit. We had to fight for them. I think part of my upset was this whole thing feels like a losing battle!

Found out a close friend is pregnant. Hard to hear as it is but when it wasnt planned and they'd only been together a few weeks... Its so hard to take. I am happy for her and anyone, but it is so hard.

Sorry to sound all sad and low. I'm actually not right now, just updating and I know you guys will understand any hard times in this journey.

Congratulations to all the BFPs the last couple of weeks x x

 

[fishsticks]

It looks like my LH is slowly rising which means my cycle might be back to its normal routine after our loss. Currently CD 11 and usually ovulate around CD14. Didn't get any sign of a rise until CD22 last cycle. So I'm hoping this is a positive sign.

Hope you're all doing ok

 

[mrsdewinter]

Just wanted to say hello and hopefully join the conversation here.

I’m very new to all online TTC communities (will hopefully feel comfortable with the acronyms soon!) and wasn’t expecting to be in this situation as until I unexpectedly fell pregnant last year I wasn’t sure if I definitely wanted children. I’d got to 33 years old without any strong feelings either way. Sadly I lost that pregnancy at 7.5 weeks, since when I’ve been just... desperate. So many people told me their first pregnancy ended in an early loss that I somehow assumed I just needed to get pregnant again and this time it would work out. It took me 6 months and then I lost that pregnancy too, at only 6 weeks. I’m 5 weeks on from that now but fairly sure I haven’t ovulated yet as I get very obvious signs that are yet to happen. Waiting impatiently.

I don’t really know where I go from here, and I’m absolutely petrified at the thought of another loss (which almost seems inevitable if there is a next time), but I’m so hoping to conceive again. Also hoping for everybody here to get their positives too.

 

[Rxt156]

I compare people that conceive easily to those that were born into money and had their parents but them everything (cars/house deposits etc)

They have absolutely no idea of the struggle of the other side as they’ve never been in that situation.

“Can’t you just save?”
“Just spend less!”
“Just get a better job”

Is as helpful as


“It’ll happen when you least expect it”
“Have you tried X Y Z method”

A little empathy in the world goes a long way.

 

[jackolantern]

Been feeling so whacko this month so tested tonight and BFP. Now absolutely shitting myself because it’s only been 40 days since my period and I don’t know how I could have possibly ovulated already when my cycles are usually up to 68 days long. Line is super dark too which seems even more suss. Have horrible health anxiety anyway and googled and found in super rare cases it can be a false positive from dodgy growths etc. Realistically I know I’ve potentially had early pregnancy symptoms so it would make sense, but I just can’t get my head around how it possibly could have happened with all my hormonal conditions/crazy cycles. I’m such a mess

I tested on a whim really thinking even if I was, it wouldn’t show as I’m too far before AF. Although I guess in theory I could have been destined for a shorter one this month. That’s the problem I can never tell.

 

[fishsticks]

Morning all, I retested this morning and got lines so I then did a digital and…

Spoiler: Trigger warning, pregnancy test

View attachment 692290

I am definitely pregnant

I am so so happy and I feel so lucky, I was really feeling so low this month. Im obviously still scared and wary it could be a chemical as im only between 10-12 dpo but my temp went up this morning so I’m keeping everything crossed this works out

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaas!!!!!!! Congratulations, hoping you've got a sticky bean getting all comfy in there.

I’m just feeling so down today.

Spoiler: Sad chat

I’ve been crying on and off and feel like I can’t stop. I should be 20 weeks today and it should be so happy and exciting to be halfway and it’s just shit. I don’t even know why I’m posting this, I just need to say it to someone. I just can’t fathom how life can be so cruel. I know I’m never going to forget it, but I need someone to tell me the pain won’t last forever and there will be a day where my heart won’t hurt quite so bad

I get you. I've had tears today too. You're not alone.

I would've been 12 weeks today. I imagined the different ways I'd finally tell our closest friends our news, to plan then nursery (well, clear the room out!) I thought I'd be cradling a little bump, buying that first little comforter or sleepsuit, but it wasn't to be.

My heart still hurts, my head spins with it all and last months negative hit me hard. My little bit of hope I'm clinging onto is I've had a positive test before so surely that means it can happen again? It's the only thing I have to hold onto, so I'm grabbing it with both hands!

Your heart may still hurt, but the healing process is happening it just takes time. A lot of time. One day your rainbow baby will arrive and although your heart will still hurt, a part will find peace.

 

[Lola UK]

Another month, another BFN and AF Hoped I would get lucky this month, as my partner is away working abroad now, so puts a stop to ttc for a few months. Gutted, I really wanted to be surprised this month but I’m not that lucky.

One positive is, my period arrived on time after a 29 day cycle so back to normal compared to last month.

Hope you all have good news this month x

 

[cecedoon]

Just received another pregnancy announcement from a friend. So that’s 3 due in 3 months later this year. I’m so happy for them & so sad for myself. And I hate feeling this way , it’s so selfish.

 

[Clojo92]

Hi guys.

My HSG confirmed my left tube is completely blocked. Assuming it’s from my surgery I had to remove a cyst last year. So I’m now starting Letrozole for 3 cycles, if no luck then on to ICSI or IVF. Burst into tears in the room, even though I expected this news it was still a shock to hear it. I feel like such a failure! Feel like I’m letting my husband down a lot.

hope everyone is ok x

 

[Lonelylondon]

Hey everyone.. I don’t know if it’s right for me to post here as I’m not trying for a baby myself.. but my sister is and has been for about 16 months now.. my sister and I are super close so I hate seeing her so upset over everything, and also selfishly I really want to be an auntie so it almost feels like a loss for me too… ofcourse I would never voice this to her which is why I’m here because I just need to vent! Since January my sister has had 5 friends announce pregnancies, I have three friends who have got pregnant this year and have seen about 10 pregnancy announcements on Instagram from people I know and it leaves me feeling so sad whenever I see it (which makes me feel selfish especially as it’s not even me going through it) it all just seems so unfair and I’m also noticing how often people talk/ask about babies and pregnancy when they really shouldn’t! Anyway sorry to rant to you all!

 

[instagramloverinlondon]

Very disappointed as I got AF today was hoping after my MC I would fall straight away. Back to more planned sex...my fav not feeling sorry for myself but did a good spin session at the gym and trying to be positive about next month