I wonder will any genuine Majellas go on the Camino.
I think really there are two types of Majellas:
Posh Majella - Older housewife, kids all done for. Eldest married to a lovely local person of similar standing, and provided the first grandson who is the only child that exists in the world.
Second child currently working in Singapore after they did a masters in "Business" a few years back. This child has developed a dependency on cocaine to get them through the day but Mam and Dad will never know.
Third child finished their degree and is currently in Australia doing Ketamine and riding everything with a pulse while playing GAA when they can fit it in around their mediocre admin job.
Fourth child doing their last year in Mary I come September but might take a year out after or maybe a masters, either way, her kids are better than yours.
Lives in a pristine 5 bedroom bungalow that they built on to for no reason a few years ago.
Drives an immaculate Audi or VW that has never gone over 100kph.
Garden is pristine. Has gardening gloves and knee pads. House and surrounds are painted religiously every 2/3 years.
Wears a lot of lovely gold jewelry that Bill has got her in Keanes over the years. Has many striped white and navy sweaters. Wears lovely tapered trousers and cute slip on pumps.
Aged 50s/60s even in to 70s. Wouldn't be seen DEAD in trackies or a hoody unless they were smart ones and she was actually exercising.
Loves kiwi fruit and melons. Thinks anything with "fat" in it is the devil. Does 94000 steps a day. Bates it around "the block" nearly every evening, sometimes the husband Bill comes in his Asics.
Brings a stick for the one cross dog down the road. Definitely has runners from Brooks or Asics herself too as somebody told her once they were the best.
Can afford extravagant holidays but they like the Algarve so go in May and September as it is too hot in the middle of the summer. They went to Sicily once in July and "never again" - Bill was killed with the heat.
When all the kids are home and they want to get take out or chipper she says "Ah but sure I have stuff here I can make you whatever...no no I want nothing...I've some brown bread there....I might take a few chips off you is all, that will do me"
Is going on the Camino with Posh Majella Eile - thinking they are two right Thelma and Lousies heading off like two mad things. Made the agreement after a single glass of Pinot Grigio and thought wouldn't it be a great way to celebrate an upcoming 60th/65th etc.
Kid in college will have to "mind dad" for the week. Has put serious effort in to making sure she does 100k steps a day with a back pack weighing 25kg, all uphill.
Thinks that Trisha is just gas....and great....and god love her isn't she a great girl doing what she can. God bless her. Secretly thinks jesus look at the state of this one but never wants to be thought the awkward one.
Common Majella - Lives in the flat above the local chipper. Did a PLC course that she did nothing with. 100% thought Impulse body spray was elite in the day. Drives a yaris or whatever the equivalent is in the newer brands. Would like to work but she can't because of "her back". Gets chipper chips just to make big white bread sandwiches.
Leaches on to fellas in the community over the years. They have all moved on with their lives and she doesn't understand why she is living over a chipper and not married or deosn't have kids! If she had kids she would get more on the dole.
Has one other slob friend that has 5 kids by 7 different fathers. Each child is a different race and has a different surname. She likes to dote on them by buying shite in the pound shop for them but never actually takes them overnight or does anything beneficial for the child.
Makes it out she works in the local SVP but really she just comes down once a month and stands beside the person who is a friend of her mams who runs the shop. But can't lift anything because of her back.
Thinks Trisha is unfuckingreal, her hair, her make up, all the clothes. Is so envious of her confidence and fitness. Common Majella would go to the gym too but it is just so expensive and the cost of living crisis, you know yourself.
Really wants to go on the Camino trip but only if other fat slob friend is going too, was thinking of getting a credit union top up loan to afford it but wasn't granted it. Thinks she will save up for next year.
Decides to start being fabuloso like Trisha so walked downstairs and down the street to collect her chicken balls 450m instead of getting them delivered. Likes to scroll endlessly on dead apps like Facebook just to see what all the other losers that stilluse facebook are up too. Likes to reshare things like "Irish is just for the Irish" and "Ireland is full" while contributing nothing to society in any way shape or form.
Went on a diet to be like Trisha but felt light headed on zero sugar soda so changed back to regular. Only got one batter sausage that night.
Comments on all Trisha does, thinks they are "friends" because Trisha liked her comment. Wants desperately to be noticed by Trisha, by anybody.
Ultimately common Majella is just like Trisha as she is the case and solution to all her own problems.
I can't wait for Camino.
.
we all know one of each of them. But my God I was dead reading the Posh Majella's cause I definitely know more than one of those and I won't be able to look them straight in the face when next I see them walking the block in their Asics hope to Jesus it's a sunny day so I can hide behind my sunglasses ...
(no irony intended!)